Retired foreign couples, do they exist in Thailand?

[NancyL]

1 hour ago, LivinLOS said:

My neighbours are a retired western couple.. 

 

There is a reality to that which is much harder than for a mixed couple (especially one with a age gap). Along with the obvious visa, extra money, etc requirement.. The inability to own a home yet desiring the security and stability of ownership ends up expensive long term leasehold and 'lost' buildings at passing.. Failing health and a lack of any support network, combined with only private medial options at age, are both a real issue. 

 

The couple next door, he was recently given a terminal diagnosis, which he may have pushed back by a couple of years not more.. She would then be left alone, without a relationship to her western adult children, and no way to financially return to her home country, while she also has increasing serious health problems. All possible when they are a couple, but health wont go simultaneously for them and then theres a real hard issue. 

My goodness, what a negative picture you paint.  I know dozens, maybe well over a hundred expat-expat retired couples, including many where the husband has passed away and the wife has continued to stay here in Chiang Mai.  There is an extensive support network of hospitals, assisted living centers, McKean Rehab center if one needs a good nursing home, home health care assistance, the CM Expats Club, and social groups like ladies lunch, card and board games, book clubs, etc.  It's not like the ladies sit at home knitting and pining away for their lost husbands and children in their home countries.  

 

You can own a condo or a house with appropriate lease arrangement for the land.  

 

Yes, all this takes planning, but it's my experience that women are better at this type of planning than men, especially once they realize that they've got to do it themselves.  Sometimes widows are hit with the harsh reality of what they're left with and really get their act together, realizing that it's best to remain in Thailand.

[timendres]

Many. The ones I have met, the husband or wife is working here, and the other came with them.

[khunPer]

On 9/5/2018 at 7:45 AM, Hanaguma said:

So, am I chasing a mythical dragon looking for folks like us?

Numerous where I live in Thailand, including pairs from France, Britain, and a Swiss gentleman with a younger Chinese wife. That's just in my close neighborhood, where only half of the remaining expats seem to be single gentlemen, or gentlemen with a local partner; the other half are ladies with or without a Thai partner.

 

Presume it depends of where in Thailand you're looking, visiting different parts of the nation might be show that some areas are chosen for different reasons than than other areas.

?

[Tony125]

Many in Hua Hin

[HAKAPALITA]

 I still dispute Many. They clearly dont exist where ive been for 25 Years. Ferang n Thai Wife is in the majority.

[Hanaguma]

Thanks for the info gents! I guess it does depend on the area quite a lot. We are staying in Udon Thani now and all we see are old dudes with younger , presumably Thai, ladies. Chiang Mai had a mixed bag of people, but we got a bit sick of the soyboy manbun types everywhere. Again, depends on the neighbourhood...

[NancyL]

Could you please define "soyboy manbun types"?  I live in Chiang Mai, have for 10 years and visited for many more years before that and this term is new to me.

[pgrahmm]

1 hour ago, NancyL said:

Could you please define "soyboy manbun types"?  I live in Chiang Mai, have for 10 years and visited for many more years before that and this term is new to me.

I think he's got the vegan - beg/back packer - elephant pant wearing - digital gonad group that's busy out on the streets "crushing" it while looking for a free wifi hook up melded down into two words....

Edited September 6, 2018 by pgrahmm

[NancyL]

hokay.  I guess there are these types hanging around Nimman and in the Old City, but not in the places where us retirees frequent.  For starters, most of us have good phones with internet plans and don't cruise around looking for places with free wifi.  At least, my friends and I don't. Usually free wifi has slow speed and poor security, anyway.

[HAKAPALITA]

1 hour ago, NancyL said:

Could you please define "soyboy manbun types"?  I live in Chiang Mai, have for 10 years and visited for many more years before that and this term is new to me.

 Holiday skiving Teachers , Ratpackers,  Young Ferangs, You Tube  beggars. and bums in general, we never saw that sort years ago. CM had visitors with money back then. I know what he means, sure you do realy

[Lacessit]

I would say the majority here ( Chiang Mai ) are farang males with Thai wives/GF's. There was a statistic somewhere in the mix that claimed the divorce rate of Western couples in Thailand is double that in their home country. That would not surprise me, given the temptations on offer. Obviously more for the males.

I do see occasional Western couples in Chiang Mai. I suppose it is just as cheap to live here as a couple compared with a single person, because both are getting a Western pension.

[NancyL]

I went back and read the OP and yes, it will be difficult to find a "community" of Canadian men married to Japanese women here or just about anywhere in the world, except maybe in Japan.  

 

But, to all the guys who think there aren't many older western women here, that just goes to prove how older women, in general, are invisible. (That can sometimes work to our advantage.)

[lucifer666]

I personally know of at least 10 retired couples living here and neither of them are Thai

[boonrawdcnx]

 Holiday skiving Teachers , Ratpackers,  Young Ferangs, You Tube  beggars. and bums in general, we never saw that sort years ago. CM had visitors with money back then. I know what he means, sure you do realy

I think you looked in the wrong areas of Chiang Mai - I can tell you where I life I can show you in the immediate neighborhood in a rural area in Luang Nua at least 15 -20 residences in the
500.000 to 1,000.000 + € - yes Euros not Baht - price range.

These owners have a constant stream of visitors throughout the year who do not stay in hotels are very well off and spent a lot of money here - no beggars and bums here!


Sent from my iPhone using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app

[Hanaguma]

Hi Nancy,

Wasn't expecting aperfect match, just some similar people we might

have afew things in common with.

 

  In any case, it seems that there aren't too many refugees from Canuckistan in Thailand to begin with…

19 hours ago, NancyL said:

I went back and read the OP and yes, it will be difficult to find a "community" of Canadian men married to Japanese women here or just about anywhere in the world, except maybe in Japan.  

 

But, to all the guys who think there aren't many older western women here, that just goes to prove how older women, in general, are invisible. (That can sometimes work to our advantage.)

 

[sanemax]

21 hours ago, NancyL said:

I went back and read the OP and yes, it will be difficult to find a "community" of Canadian men married to Japanese women here or just about anywhere in the world, except maybe in Japan.  

 

But, to all the guys who think there aren't many older western women here, that just goes to prove how older women, in general, are invisible. (That can sometimes work to our advantage.)

Bit off-topic, but Elvis has gone from KSK

[pgrahmm]

27 minutes ago, sanemax said:

Bit off-topic, but Elvis has gone from KSK

Elvis has left the building?

[sanemax]

1 minute ago, pgrahmm said:

Elvis has left the building?

Yep, and taken his whole band with him .

The basement of KSK has been re developed 

[Lacessit]

On 9/6/2018 at 5:42 PM, NancyL said:

 

 

But, to all the guys who think there aren't many older western women here, that just goes to prove how older women, in general, are invisible. (That can sometimes work to our advantage.)

A fascinating comment. In the words of Pauline Hanson, please explain how it works to your advantage.

[NancyL]

13 hours ago, Lacessit said:

A fascinating comment. In the words of Pauline Hanson, please explain how it works to your advantage.

I looked up Pauline Hanson in Wikipedia.  One thing I love about TV is how we have an opportunity to learn about other English-speaking cultures.  I had no idea who she is and after reading her Wiki entry, I'd have to say that while Pauline Hanson and I are about the same age, she's hardly invisible, is she?

 

I didn't see where she is known for the quote "please explain how that works to your advantage", however.  All I was saying is that sometimes older women are overlooked and not paid attention to.  This means they can sometimes blend into the background and observe situations unnoticed or get into a place where others couldn't.  It's a little more difficult here in Thailand for an older western woman, but in the western countries, a older western woman definitely is overlooked.  This is one reason that so many guys fail to notice all the retired western women here.

[LivinLOS]

On 9/6/2018 at 8:52 AM, NancyL said:

My goodness, what a negative picture you paint.  I know dozens, maybe well over a hundred expat-expat retired couples, including many where the husband has passed away and the wife has continued to stay here in Chiang Mai.  There is an extensive support network of hospitals, assisted living centers, McKean Rehab center if one needs a good nursing home, home health care assistance, the CM Expats Club, and social groups like ladies lunch, card and board games, book clubs, etc.  It's not like the ladies sit at home knitting and pining away for their lost husbands and children in their home countries.  

 

You can own a condo or a house with appropriate lease arrangement for the land.  

 

Yes, all this takes planning, but it's my experience that women are better at this type of planning than men, especially once they realize that they've got to do it themselves.  Sometimes widows are hit with the harsh reality of what they're left with and really get their act together, realizing that it's best to remain in Thailand.

From what I see of them, they are an old couple with zero active social life.. We are friendly, and chat, she has made it clear her own kids no longer have contact 'too busy with thier lives' 'dont want to visit Thailand' etc etc.. That returning is near impossible due to finances, house built, etc.. 

She also has an increasing serious health issue.. 

 

I like them, they are nice enough to me and we get on chat, have the occasional beer and always say hi.. My wife helps them with the constant water off / net down / electric gone etc of village life as they speak no Thai and dont know who to call. But the fact remains, they are aging, have the usual health issues, have zero visible social contact or help other than each other, and theres a reality to that. When all they have is each other, without support networks, when one inevitably passes, theres not much left. 

 

Personally I think its a much easier situation on mixed couples and very often its likely the 'older guy' goes first (my first wife didnt follow that script). 

 

 

[Tony125]

On 9/6/2018 at 3:06 PM, HAKAPALITA said:

 I still dispute Many. They clearly dont exist where ive been for 25 Years. Ferang n Thai Wife is in the majority.

I think another reason you don't see them they are not likely to be hanging out at the beer bars on Beach Road, Walking Street or the areas of lower Sukumvit in Bangkok.

[Lacessit]

8 hours ago, NancyL said:

I looked up Pauline Hanson in Wikipedia.  One thing I love about TV is how we have an opportunity to learn about other English-speaking cultures.  I had no idea who she is and after reading her Wiki entry, I'd have to say that while Pauline Hanson and I are about the same age, she's hardly invisible, is she?

 

I didn't see where she is known for the quote "please explain how that works to your advantage", however.  All I was saying is that sometimes older women are overlooked and not paid attention to.  This means they can sometimes blend into the background and observe situations unnoticed or get into a place where others couldn't.  It's a little more difficult here in Thailand for an older western woman, but in the western countries, a older western woman definitely is overlooked.  This is one reason that so many guys fail to notice all the retired western women here.

Pauline Hanson has built a political career and party, One Nation, on dog-whistle appeals to racism. She kicked off by claiming Australia was being submerged in a tide of Asians. Lately, she has switched her focus to Muslims.

The quote arises from a classic moment in Australian television. She was being interviewed on 60 Minutes and the host asked whether in view of her claims she was xenophobic. She clearly had no idea of what the word meant, so she gave the host a death stare and said " Please explain" in the most brittle tone imaginable. The quote has gone down as an in-joke to describe bogans in Australia generally. Apologies for confusing you.

Edited September 8, 2018 by Lacessit

[NancyL]

1 hour ago, Lacessit said:

Pauline Hanson has built a political career and party, One Nation, on dog-whistle appeals to racism. She kicked off by claiming Australia was being submerged in a tide of Asians. Lately, she has switched her focus to Muslims.

The quote arises from a classic moment in Australian television. She was being interviewed on 60 Minutes and the host asked whether in view of her claims she was xenophobic. She clearly had no idea of what the word meant, so she gave the host a death stare and said " Please explain" in the most brittle tone imaginable. The quote has gone down as an in-joke to describe bogans in Australia generally. Apologies for confusing you.

OK, apology accepted, and thank you for further enlarging my education since I had to do a little Google study of the word "bogan".

 

I hope my explanation of "older women being invisible" makes sense.  As one poster pointed out, it could be, too, because we don't hang out in the same places the average TV poster, too, so you don't see us.

 

I thought about this thread today as I ate lunch in the little bistro in my condo building and counted over fifty resident expat ladies either eating lunch in the same restaurant, or walking by, either in and out of the condo or out on the street in front of the condo.  I know most of them and about half are here with partners, half here on their own.  To say we don't exist is a hoot.

[Lacessit]

1 hour ago, NancyL said:

OK, apology accepted, and thank you for further enlarging my education since I had to do a little Google study of the word "bogan".

 

I hope my explanation of "older women being invisible" makes sense.  As one poster pointed out, it could be, too, because we don't hang out in the same places the average TV poster, too, so you don't see us.

 

I thought about this thread today as I ate lunch in the little bistro in my condo building and counted over fifty resident expat ladies either eating lunch in the same restaurant, or walking by, either in and out of the condo or out on the street in front of the condo.  I know most of them and about half are here with partners, half here on their own.  To say we don't exist is a hoot.

True enough. I can't say I have ever seen a Western woman at my local golf club.

[Lancelot01]

On 9/5/2018 at 8:18 AM, Jonathan Fairfield said:

Lots in Hua Hin! Neighbours of mine include Swiss, Russian, English, Singaporean and French couples.

And three neighbours of mine, all UK.

[NancyL]

15 hours ago, Lacessit said:

True enough. I can't say I have ever seen a Western woman at my local golf club.

You see, that's your problem, you spend your time at a golf club -- probably a healthy enough hobby, but not one that is of great interest to western women.  Within 500 meters of my condo are numerous restaurants, hair and nail salons, legitimate massage businesses, two malls, a well-regarded hospital and within the condo itself are two restaurants, laundry facilities, a good water machine, a mini mart that is like a little Rim Ping, caring condo management and a condo policy that permits the residents to have cats. Now you tell me, where would most women rather spend their time, hanging out at a golf course or in or near my condo building?

[Dick Crank]

18 hours ago, NancyL said:

OK, apology accepted, and thank you for further enlarging my education since I had to do a little Google study of the word "bogan".

 

I hope my explanation of "older women being invisible" makes sense.  As one poster pointed out, it could be, too, because we don't hang out in the same places the average TV poster, too, so you don't see us.

 

I thought about this thread today as I ate lunch in the little bistro in my condo building and counted over fifty resident expat ladies either eating lunch in the same restaurant, or walking by, either in and out of the condo or out on the street in front of the condo.  I know most of them and about half are here with partners, half here on their own.  To say we don't exist is a hoot.

i lived in cm old city for five years and cant remember seeing this demographic at all

[NancyL]

Just now, Dick Crank said:

i lived in cm old city for five years and cant remember seeing this demographic at all

It's not in the old city, but in the area between KSK and Maya Mall.

[melvinmelvin]

dunno about CM but in BKK I see quite a few farang ladies

those I see on the street or at MBK/PARAGON/WORLD/EMPORIUM/EMQUARTIER/TERMINAL21

could, of course, be tourists

 

but when I visit Foodlands and Villa Markets I always see farang ladies in age 30-60+

probably expats - few tourists would shop for potatoes and cucumbers

married or not I don't know, but the ladies are there