Can anyone help me out here ... 14 y/o daughter is driving nuts by staying online (msn) way after she is supposed to be in bed. What are my choices other than turning off internet - not a choice as I work at night so need the access.

jack

unplug the computer is another option ...

An offer of a mall shopping spree if a schedule is adhered to?

You attract a lot of bees with honey.

Setup password on accounts on windows?

A little technical info would help to determine what can be done.

You say that you need the internet, because you work at night. So, I'm guessing that you have two computers. Yours and the daughter has one in her room that she is using at the same time.

Do they share an internet connection? How are they connected? LAN Cable? Wireless? What OS does your daughter's computer have?

With a little more info, some of the tech savvy people here can provide better solutions.

Troll? You should be able to tell a 14 old daughter the rules...

Many routers can be configured to block traffic based on time period. For instance, if you disallow all traffic from the machine she uses after 10pm, it's useless for her to try getting out.

IBoss is highly recommended for kids online because it controls not only access but does a good job of content filtering. Being hardware it's also next to impossible for kids to disable.

http://www.iphantom.com/iBossProduct.html

I like the idea of unplugging it. The computer should never be in the kids' room or any private place where you can't watch what they're viewing or you're asking for trouble.

A touch of old fashioned discipline !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Here is some more information.

She's not MY daughter but the daughter of a friend of my wife who is a single mother trying to hold her family together (the father doesn't give a sh*t what his daughter is doing on the internet).

Her mother has tried the discipline route and they end up in shouting matches with the daughter threatening all sorts of things if she is banned.

BTW, this is in Australia not thailand so the "heavy hand" can backfire in a BIG way, remember, she's 14 - it is generally not possible to lay down the law without being 'punished' in some other way. Think back to what YOU got up to when you were young?

I suggested unplugging and the fireworks after that was done were "interesting" to say the least.

The mother cannot afford the iBboss you suggested cdnvic.

Nor can she afford a mall shopping spree as someone suggested.

The computer IS in the kids room so without WW3 it is not possible to move it.

The XP access after x hours was interesting - is it possible to have say 3 on 3 off with "no go" times eg after 10pm? If yes, how.

jack

Hate to sound harsh but it sounds like the mother is only willing to do things on the daughter's terms. Going soft will only make things worse, and if you want a girl running off with some perv she met on the internet then let her hide in her room with the computer logged on.

Millions of Australians are able to discipline their kids without getting in trouble. Far better to have to deal with some fireworks than deal with a kid who's run off, or gotten knocked up, or both. Your friend needs to stop trying to be liked by her daughter, and start being respected. Making fair but firm rules and sticking to them is the first step.

Hate to sound harsh but it sounds like the mother is only willing to do things on the daughter's terms. Going soft will only make things worse, and if you want a girl running off with some perv she met on the internet then let her hide in her room with the computer logged on.

Millions of Australians are able to discipline their kids without getting in trouble. Far better to have to deal with some fireworks than deal with a kid who's run off, or gotten knocked up, or both. Your friend needs to stop trying to be liked by her daughter, and start being respected. Making fair but firm rules and sticking to them is the first step.

Yup sounds like good advice - already gave it to her too. All I wanted was to know was how TECHNOLOGY can help for a change

jack

Take the power cable to bed with you. Problem solved (until she buys her own).

Ok, well if the problem has to be solved by technology.. Google for Cyber Patrol, CyberSitter, NetNanny, SurfWatch just to mention a few. These are programs you install on the PC, configure and they then hide themselves, blocking and tracking the use of the PC.

Yup sounds like good advice - already gave it to her too. All I wanted was to know was how TECHNOLOGY can help for a change

Start by checking what brand and model of router she is using. As someone pointed out above, most routers have this kind of functionality built in.

Here is some more information.

She's not MY daughter but the daughter of a friend of my wife who is a single mother trying to hold her family together (the father doesn't give a sh*t what his daughter is doing on the internet).

Her mother has tried the discipline route and they end up in shouting matches with the daughter threatening all sorts of things if she is banned.

BTW, this is in Australia not thailand so the "heavy hand" can backfire in a BIG way, remember, she's 14 - it is generally not possible to lay down the law without being 'punished' in some other way. Think back to what YOU got up to when you were young?

I suggested unplugging and the fireworks after that was done were "interesting" to say the least.

The mother cannot afford the iBboss you suggested cdnvic.

Nor can she afford a mall shopping spree as someone suggested.

The computer IS in the kids room so without WW3 it is not possible to move it.

The XP access after x hours was interesting - is it possible to have say 3 on 3 off with "no go" times eg after 10pm? If yes, how.

jack

Well sounds hard, but not your daughter, not your wife, not your computer ---> not your business.

tell you don't know how to do that.

Else whatever you do, at the end you are the "bad guy", it is not a technical problem it is a family problem, which can not be solved by technologie.

not a choice as I work at night so need the access.

jack

She's not MY daughter but the daughter of a friend of my wife who is a single mother trying to hold her family together (the father doesn't give a sh*t what his daughter is doing on the internet).

hmmm...?

I agree that old fashion discipline is key. However there is a lot that’s hard to manage on PCs – what and when kids do when online. I think one of the best features in Vista are the Parental Controls. That let’s you manage this in a really effective and smart way.

www.microsoft.com/windows/products/windowsvista/features/details/parentalcontrols.mspx

Of course upgrading may not be a realistic option...

I don't see how unplugging the computer is different from restricting access.

with all due respect to the O.P, but yeah... Great, the idea of restricting access (using funky technology) for example 3 hours on 3 off, or whatever, is a wonderful idea.

But how is any different than just shutting down the girls machine?

I mean,

She'll go ballistic if you forcibly shut down her machine, or whatever, right?

And what? she'll go in peace if it's a technological shut down?

I shouldn't have thought her reaction would be any different.

Has she done her homework? has she done her household chores?

Discipline man! That's what is needed here.

14 years old?! what's she doing online all night? get her working. make her pay her share of the connection. That should tire her out.

The less bored kids are in their real lives, and the busier, the less energy and desire they'll have to spend all their free time online.

Consider the fact at that time of night she's probably talking to dirty old men.

I agree with everyone else... any solution, whether it is high tech router blocking or simply disabling the computer is gonna cause "fireworks". And I agree that she is probably not chatting with her classmates in the wee hours of the morning.

Some ground rules and discipline are needed here. Parents and guardians are responsible for the actions of their 14 year olds. Since she is not your child but rather but the daughter of a friend of your wife, I would talk to the girl's mother, explain the problem, and get her agreement on a course of action. Lay down some rules of your own to the mother... if the child is going to live under your roof, then certain rules must apply and conditions must be met.

I believe that the best solution is to move the computer out of her room to the living room or other common area of the house where her online activities can be supervised. What will the 14 year old do? Call the child welfare authorities and claim that she is being abused because she isn't allowed to use the internet???

But- if you want to go down the technology path... Win XP Pro (not in XP home unfortunately) has a "policy editor" built in that will allow you to configure and control almost any aspect of the computer operation. Try it out.

Technology whatever.

My daughter just ran up a 25,0000thb bill playing online games by taking family mamber cellphones to buy credit.

Simple solution? Sho no longer has a computer. Period. Its not in my office being used by staff so that she can see its never going to be hers again. She is in bed by 8pm each evening and has all priveledges revoked until she proves that she is trust worthy again. She will get a computer again, a nice new one, all upgrades yadda yadda when she reaches that point.

2 days of howling and carrying on and she now realises that she needs her parents, and is working hard to gain that trust back. Lets hope it continues!

http://www.microsoft.com/resources/documen...r.mspx?mfr=true

I have been running software on my son's computer for the past 12 months now and it works perfectly. In effect you have a calander and you can specify for each day of the week what times the computer can work. Outside those times a message appears saying "No Access" Also when the computer allows access you can also set what times the internet is allowed to work.

So far my son, who is now 12, has not found a way to crack it! but I am sure he will soon!

If you are interested in this software please PM me.

Chris

Wait until he's 14 and has started to cancel access control at school...

Give him a laptop and some vaseline. I'm sure he'll grow out of it.

Give him a laptop and some vaseline. I'm sure he'll grow out of it.