Sheryl Posted February 12, 2007 Share Posted February 12, 2007 Simon, You are already doing all the right things, especially getting your wife psychiatric care and looking into rehab, and sending your baby away to keep her safe. Just want to say that I admire and feel for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pedro01 Posted February 12, 2007 Share Posted February 12, 2007 (edited) I had a friend (English) go to a rehab centre near Khon Kaen. If she checks in there - she will not be able to get out. They take your money off you when you get there & keep you under pretty tight supervision. Even if she tries to do a runner - she won't get far with no $$$. I know - my friend tried on several occasions. Same place mentioned on the 2nd page of this thread. My friend checked himself in there. Twice Edited February 12, 2007 by pedro01 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thaigene2 Posted February 12, 2007 Share Posted February 12, 2007 (edited) On the surface, it sounds like the whole situation should be the dream of every Isaan girl that comes to Bangkok to work in the city.... Meet a farang with lots of money who will buy them land in Phuket, build a hotel, take care of the family, buy gold and everything she wants or needs, spending money like it grows on trees. Sounds absolutely great.But- what if it isn't her dream at all, but rather yours? Perhaps the dream that she signed up for hasn't competely worked out as she imagined, and she is finding herself in a weird place without any real friends (just bargirls and katoeys who will be her friend while she is buying the drinks), a lot of family pressures, and a potentially huge liability to the bank. It may be that she is feeling completely stuck in the situation there with you and can't see how to get out of it and get back to the carefree lifestyle surrounded by friends and happy family that Thai people value so dearly. If this is the case, she is probably tearing up inside wondering why she feels this way when she is living the life that every other girl back on Soi 1 in Bangkok dreams to have. Simon I would suggest you consider the above quite seriously. You will need to examine your own contributions to the situation as well. Too controling? Not controling enough? Perhaps neither party sees a future/way out? Having kids and realizing you've signed up for the long haul is something that we all have to confront at some point..and it can be scary. By the way, drug rehab won't really help find out the underlying problem - just treats the symptoms so to speak. You need to find out WHY she's doing this out of character behaviour Whatever happens best of luck to you and your wife...and your nine month old who should really be near the centre of everyone's concern at present.. Edited February 12, 2007 by thaigene2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maccaroni man Posted February 12, 2007 Share Posted February 12, 2007 I am sure that bangkok phuket hospital has a mental health specialist, take her in for a consult. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
simon43 Posted February 12, 2007 Author Share Posted February 12, 2007 Just an update to advise that my wife has now been admitted to a psychiatric unit, and I remain with her at all times. Initial investigation by the doctors seem to indicate that she has been unwell for some time, (long before she met me), and the recent experiment with drugs simply tipped her over the edge. In any case, I am extremely relieved that she is now under professional care Thanks again to all! Simon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ijustwannateach Posted February 12, 2007 Share Posted February 12, 2007 Hope for the best for you guys. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
britmaveric Posted February 12, 2007 Share Posted February 12, 2007 Simon - wish you and your wife the best. Hopefully she will get the care she needs to get well and sort through her issues. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaoPo Posted February 12, 2007 Share Posted February 12, 2007 Just an update to advise that my wife has now been admitted to a psychiatric unit, and I remain with her at all times. Initial investigation by the doctors seem to indicate that she has been unwell for some time, (long before she met me), and the recent experiment with drugs simply tipped her over the edge.In any case, I am extremely relieved that she is now under professional care Thanks again to all! Simon Happy to hear she is in safe hands Simon. I hope she's able to recover soonest. You're a top Gent, taking care of her the way you did and still do; "remain with her at all times" ! My respect. LaoPo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John K Posted February 12, 2007 Share Posted February 12, 2007 Simon, One thing you should be aware of is if they just medicate her it does nothing to treat the cause. Medication was never meant to be a long term fix but only a tool to stabilize if necessary. Simply someone needs to get inside her head to help her sort this out. Depending on what approach is used that can be a short or long road to recovery. If the drugs she was taking are highly addictive like crack cocaine then you are in it for the long haul. Don’t be afraid to ask for therapy other than a pill, if you love her then you owe it to her to give her the very best available. She does not need to understand the therapy and what it does, only that it will help her get better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
backflip Posted February 13, 2007 Share Posted February 13, 2007 "One thing you should be aware of is if they just medicate her it does nothing to treat the cause. Medication was never meant to be a long term fix but only a tool to stabilize if necessary. " "Prozac Nation" (the book) was heralded as an "anti-medication, cautionary tale" by the "anti-medication, cautionary tale" crusaders. However, the book (then the movie) described in detail how medication (Prozac, specifically) assists many people to find productive lives. Simon, I would let the attending physcian decide the level of medication and the length of the treatment protocol. Ignore those who would prefer to have your wide unstable, yet unmedicated. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaoPo Posted February 13, 2007 Share Posted February 13, 2007 "One thing you should be aware of is if they just medicate her it does nothing to treat the cause. Medication was never meant to be a long term fix but only a tool to stabilize if necessary. ""Prozac Nation" (the book) was heralded as an "anti-medication, cautionary tale" by the "anti-medication, cautionary tale" crusaders. However, the book (then the movie) described in detail how medication (Prozac, specifically) assists many people to find productive lives. Simon, I would let the attending physcian decide the level of medication and the length of the treatment protocol. Ignore those who would prefer to have your wide unstable, yet unmedicated. I partly agree... If I was Simon I would like to have a second opinion (if even online with qualified psychiatrists)....TIT ! LaoPo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John K Posted February 13, 2007 Share Posted February 13, 2007 "One thing you should be aware of is if they just medicate her it does nothing to treat the cause. Medication was never meant to be a long term fix but only a tool to stabilize if necessary. ""Prozac Nation" (the book) was heralded as an "anti-medication, cautionary tale" by the "anti-medication, cautionary tale" crusaders. However, the book (then the movie) described in detail how medication (Prozac, specifically) assists many people to find productive lives. Simon, I would let the attending physcian decide the level of medication and the length of the treatment protocol. Ignore those who would prefer to have your wide unstable, yet unmedicated. I partly agree... If I was Simon I would like to have a second opinion (if even online with qualified psychiatrists)....TIT ! LaoPo Without getting too far off topic there is one key element that will help you understand this. I am not sure how much this will apply for Simon but insurance companies are dictating health care. Medication is cost affective to insurance companies as compared to therapy often for a fraction of the cost. Insurance companies are just that ‘companies’, and companies are there to make money. There have been several studies that reflect this and here is an example to help you understand why. Lets say you have a problem and you are given a medication that will make the problem not seem so bad. As soon as you stop the medication the problem in all it’s glory comes back. If this was Simon’s wife’s case all they would be doing is replacing one drug with another. By getting involved in some sort of therapy, finding closure can be achieved and the need for medication is eliminated. The combination of medication and therapy is sometimes needed in very sever cases where the medication stabiles the person so the therapist can work with them. Once an acceptable level is achieved then the medication should be stop. In some cases the situation that cause the problem in temporary and will go away on it’s own. In situations like this medication may be the best choice. An example would be seasonal depression. However if it is seasonal depression there are simpler alternatives that have no side effects. Simply light therapy works well. My best advise for Simon is ask a lot of questions and don’t be afraid to take it to a technical level. Every drug has a different type of therapy so it is best to know the structure (concept) of the therapy so you can help guide your wife to recovery. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
simon43 Posted February 13, 2007 Author Share Posted February 13, 2007 Hi guys, thanks again for the advice. The doctor does seem genuinly concerned to resolve all her problems. Firstly, because she is so 'small' (32kg), she needs electrolyte etc to make her stronger and increase her blood pressure which is very low. The doctor did ask many questions and she has been very honest with herself and answered many questions about her background, feelings etc. I know that she previously weighed 25kg before I met her, and that was dangerously low. The doctor feels that her low weight and general lack of health for many years has caused her to be depressed, and this depression has never been treated. Blood and urine tests show no sign of any amphetamines, and she is much more lucid now and there is no more paranoia. She is due to have a long chat session with the doctor today to try to understand more about her worries etc. Anyway, everything is looking much better. I managed to rush back to my hotel whilst she slept and sort out our customers (hotel is full and Thai staff are running around in headless chicken syndrome without me!!). Fun comment! One Ozzie customer went drinking last night and never came back. He woke up on a strange beach, but luckily still had his money and mobile phone. I managed to find him just now - literally miles from our hotel!! He said that our customer service is way beyond the call of duty:) - (Bet the Hilton manager never goes out searching for drunk customers.....) Simon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tim armstrong Posted February 13, 2007 Share Posted February 13, 2007 Hi Simon, Speaking as a mental health professional, I would say yes, your wife does have a mental health problem exacerbated by the cocktail of drugs. A thorough assessment is the first step, preferably by someone who is not going to automatically prescribe medications, and understands some of the potential psychological issues involved. Unfortunately there is a tendency to first go for medications in Thailand, which in this case is not the best place to start.Your wife has many other behavioural symptoms that are complicated by your marital, financial and social situation. Feel free to email me if you want some help to find the best options. Tim. //edit to remove email per forum rules - lopburi3// Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sheryl Posted February 13, 2007 Share Posted February 13, 2007 While it is true that many psychiatrists and hospitals over medicate, it is also the case that many people who need antidepressent or other psychotropic medication fail to get it, in part because of stigma and well meant but dead wrong advice. Such people often turn to "recreational" drugs or alcohol in an attempt at self-medication. Another factor to consider is the Thai penchant for forgeting a problem as soon as its manifestations stop...with all types of medications, Thai doctors and hospitals tend to give too short a course. Your wife sounds to me like she has a definite chemical imbalance in her brain and will certainly need medication, possibly for a long time. If depression is the problem, the shortest time recommended for a course of anti-depressent medication is 6 months, and many people require much longer...some, for life. Even when they also get therapy to resolve the "underlying" issues. Especially people who have been depressed for a long time, their brain chemistry may just not be able to straighten itself out in the absence of medication. Can't say whether this will be the case with your wife or not, but just be aware that she may need to be on medication a long time and don't hesitate if it is helping her. Also - be aware that these medications should never be stopped abruptly, they have to be tapered off while under a therapist's or psychiatrists' care. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
simon43 Posted February 13, 2007 Author Share Posted February 13, 2007 Hi Sheryl, thanks for your comments. The doctor has already stated that there is no quick-fix solution and she needs counselling and long-term medication to get her back onto (and maintain her) on a level plain. I already understand that this is not an overnight problem. I could easily walk away from all of this if I really want to. But you don't marry someone if you can't stick by them through thick and thin, (with apologies to my ex-wife in the UK who DID cause me to walk out!!!). Simon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
davidjtayler Posted February 13, 2007 Share Posted February 13, 2007 Hi Sheryl, thanks for your comments. The doctor has already stated that there is no quick-fix solution and she needs counselling and long-term medication to get her back onto (and maintain her) on a level plain. I already understand that this is not an overnight problem. I could easily walk away from all of this if I really want to. But you don't marry someone if you can't stick by them through thick and thin, (with apologies to my ex-wife in the UK who DID cause me to walk out!!!).Simon Hi there Simon This may sound a little harsh but it's not meant to be ... you would probably be advised to include yourself in some of the councelling with your wife. Psychological illness is very rarely cut and dried and although the root of your wifes problems may well lie elsewhere in the past there may be something in your behaviour that is exacerbating her illness. Its a tough thing psycholgical illness and you can compare it to an abcess within .. all the pus needs to be drained before the healing can begin and this is a very painful and self analysing phase that needs to be completed before the road to recovery can be walked. The germs that cause the pus in the abcess may originate from many different areas and her illness may originate and be triggered from different areas which is why I would recommend to include yourself during your wifes analysis. There will be pain and there may well be nothing in your behaviour that triggers some of your wifes problems but it mustn't be ignored nether the less. It sounds like you are following the right route and your wife is in capable hands with great support from you, her family and the medical staff... good luck for the future. DT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
simon43 Posted February 13, 2007 Author Share Posted February 13, 2007 Hi David, I note your advice and I am very happy to be included in counselling. But I would find it hard to believe that any of my personal actions have caused or exacerbated this situation. Rather, it is more than likely down to the stresses of starting a new business, having a new baby, financial matters etc. All too much pressure for her. I need to remember that her background is from a farming family in Issan etc. Pressures of business that I am used to handling may be too much for her Anyway, I hope we are on the right path now. Now we have a growing and profitable business, so the day-to-day pressures are not so great. Plus, I will take on a hotel Duty Manager who can supervise staff etc. Simon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
simon43 Posted February 14, 2007 Author Share Posted February 14, 2007 Oh, how can I be sooooo wrong!!!!! It's 2.30am on Thursday morning right now. Yesterday afternoon, my wife was released from the Mental Health Clinic of BKK Phuket Hospital. She had undergone 2 days of therapy, intravenous liquids (to boost her strength/low blood pressure) and anti-depresssant medicine. The bill was 24,000 baht and the doctor was satisfied enough to send her home with further medicines and a follow-up appointment. I even bought her a red rose and valentine's card She seemed totally lucid and I made the stupid mistake of returning her ATM card to her. Late yesterday afternoon, she went out with our driver to Tesco Lotus, to buy fruit/veg as reccommended by the doctor to boost her low potassium levels. But she told our driver that there was a better fruit shop in Patong. No sooner did he reach Patong then she jumped out of the car and ran off! Later that evening, she called me to say that the car had a flat tyre, so she would be late... Her sister, brother and brother in law went searching for her late last night. They found her yet again in the company of her ladyboy friends. She had exhausted our bank account - another 20k down the drain, lost her id card, handbag, shoes etc. A fight then ensued between my wife's family and these 'friends'. My wife was physically escorted back to our hotel by her family members and we locked her in one of the rooms. She then escaped through a window and was 'recaptured' several hundred metres away. Now she is locked in the room again. As I look out of my window, I see all of her family camped around the perimeter of our hotel, in an effort to stop her escaping again. None of us can sleep. If this were not a real-life situation, it would seem like a Marx Brothers comedy...... What can we do? I cannot afford to pay 10,000 per day to keep her in the hospital. Later this morning, I'll return alone to see the doctor and explain that his 24,000 baht treatment seems to have done absolutely nothing.... All this time, I am trying to manage a hotel full of customers who must be wondering why there are Thai people camping all over the grounds. I almost called it quits tonight and walked out on her. But this would not be fair on her family who have worked hard to build our little hotel. I can't sleep right now. Such a sad event to see your wife in this deranged state. Sorry to go on so much . . . Simon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
britmaveric Posted February 14, 2007 Share Posted February 14, 2007 Simon - sorry to hear that mate. It sounds your wife hasnt hit rock bottom, nor wants to accept responsibility for her actions as of yet. Like any addiction until she is ready to help herself - there is nought any of you can do for her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
simon43 Posted February 14, 2007 Author Share Posted February 14, 2007 Thanks mate. She escaped again and has just been caught again. We have summons an emergency ambulance from the hospital. I hope they can sedate her for her own safety. Thanks again Simon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaoPo Posted February 14, 2007 Share Posted February 14, 2007 Holy shoot, Simon, what a deception and disaster. I feel with you now. 2 days is much too short and she is much more seriously ill/sick than anyone (especially you) could ever anticipate. How on earth can you control this situation ? One of the previous posters suggested you have her brought to a Thai institution upnorth...maybe that's the only way now (he said she can't escape there). Don't know what to say. Wish you all the best. ps: you are quite emotionally now (understandable) but I think it makes no sense to go back to that doctor in Phuket tomorrow; it makes no difference to argue with that man and you won't get your money back. Instead, think of escort her to the north to that clinic. LaoPo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
simon43 Posted February 14, 2007 Author Share Posted February 14, 2007 The refund comment was a joke.... We will keep her in the Phuket hospital tonight/today and then take her up to Udon where there is a good hospital. Simon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaoPo Posted February 14, 2007 Share Posted February 14, 2007 The refund comment was a joke.... We will keep her in the Phuket hospital tonight/today and then take her up to Udon where there is a good hospital. Simon Good to hear. Udon, is that the same area as the Kon Kaen treatment centre, mentioned before my 'mdeland' post#25 and later by pedro01 ? Wish you well (and your wife and family of course) LaoPo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mossfinn Posted February 14, 2007 Share Posted February 14, 2007 Hi Simon, Earlier I was going to mention how good it was you could keep youir humour in the face of such adversity, particularly how the situation appeared to be improving and then your hopes are shattered. I can give you no advice, but my thoughts are with you and respect of the highest nature to have kept hanging on in there. Good Luck, Simon I wish you well Moss Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sriracha john Posted February 14, 2007 Share Posted February 14, 2007 You definitely need a different doctor. He's incompetent and reckless in his treatment. She's in no condition to be anywhere but confined in a hospital. I truly hope you can find her a facility and a physician who can properly manage her care. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jumnien Posted February 15, 2007 Share Posted February 15, 2007 Simon, Hang in there. I spent 2 years working in a treatment center in California before coming to Thailand 9 years ago. Your recent experiences sounds very typical. The miracle of recovery from addiction is possible, but often is a long road and definitely takes time. Unfortunately, you cannot prescribe recovery and take it once a day after breakfast. Doctors in Thailand or in the United States have a poor record in dealing with addiction. It's a bit of a catch-22 in that they often only have pharmaceuticals to treat a drug problem. Not that they can't play a role. Talk to most recovered addicts and they will chronicle in an often humorous way all the doctors they tried to con along the way. Don't discount the value of the treatment center in the Khon Kaen. There are many Thai members of 12-step programs as well if she is interested in talking to recovered addicts. There are also alternatives such as Wat Tham Krabok in Lopburi. And as someone else suggested, you will want therapy if you can afford it. I would suggest Dan at PSI in Bangkok as someone who has worked with many in recovery and is very well versed in working with Thais, Farangs and mixed marriages. Thanks for sharing your painful experiences. You are bound to help others in similar circumstances who are too embarrassed to deal with it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sheryl Posted February 15, 2007 Share Posted February 15, 2007 Simon, I'm not really clear on her diagnosis and I think her doctor may not be either. What you describe is not mere depression. Was she using drugs again? Or just running around wildly? I am thinking she may be bipolar (manic-depressive) and that these episodes may be manic phases, for which she needs a mood stabilizer not (or in addition to) antidepressent. Keep searching for the right doctor and hospital, and ask specifically about her diagnosis ad whether she might be bipolar. Good luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sriracha john Posted February 15, 2007 Share Posted February 15, 2007 Simon,I'm not really clear on her diagnosis and I think her doctor may not be either. What you describe is not mere depression. Was she using drugs again? Or just running around wildly? I am thinking she may be bipolar (manic-depressive) and that these episodes may be manic phases, for which she needs a mood stabilizer not (or in addition to) antidepressent. Keep searching for the right doctor and hospital, and ask specifically about her diagnosis ad whether she might be bipolar. Good luck Exactly my impressions also, given the description of her symptoms and why releasing her after just 2 days seemed wholly inappropriate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
simon43 Posted February 15, 2007 Author Share Posted February 15, 2007 Hi all, back again... My wife was taken to BKK Phuket Mental Clinic last night by ambulance and then I waited for her doctor . . . and waited . . .and waited. In total, I waited 8 hours for this lazy prick to bother to turn up. I then decided that no use was being served by waiting and paid the room bill and prepared to leave the hospital with 2 family friends. We were physically blocked in by security and not allowed to leave. I was barefoot, carrying my wife in my arms across the reception area and these security guys forced us to stay until we saw this doctor AND paid his bill. I have to admit that, for the first time in Thailand I lost my temper and shouted in Thai about this 'lazy' doctor who couldn't be bothered to see a seriously ill patient for more than 8 hours. After that, they immediately ushered us away and the doctor saw us immediately without charge. Anyway, he said that my wife is indeed bipolar, and this is the medicine that he has proscribed. He agreed that a stay at Udon or Khon Kaen is required since she is a danger to herself (and a danger to my bank balance....). Her mother and father are coming to Phuket today and will travel with her (and other hotel staff) by car to the hospital in Udon. Once she is in safe hands, I need to seriously think re our Phuket business, since it is wholly inappropriate for her ever to return to Phuket. Thanks again for all your support - I'm having a beer right now Simon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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