Worst Joke Ever 2024

ballpoint · November 30, 2021

ballpoint · November 30, 2021

ballpoint · November 30, 2021

radiochaser · November 30, 2021

On 11/22/2021 at 7:25 AM, fangless said:

The Divine Plan (Insert countries and sports/pastimes as required- The following is a template!

    Once upon a time in the kingdom of heaven, God goes missing for six days. Eventually, Michael the archangel finds him, resting on the seventh day. He enquires of God, ‘Where have you been?’
    God lets out a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly points downwards through the clouds. ‘Look, Michael, look what I’ve made.’
    Archangel Michael looks puzzled and says, ‘What is it?’
    ‘It’s a planet,’ replies God, ‘and I’ve put life on it. I’m going to call it Earth, and it’s going to be a place of great balance.’
    ‘Balance?’ enquires Michael, still confused.
    God explains, pointing to different parts of Earth. ‘For example, northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while southern Europe is going to be poor. The Middle East over there will be a hot spot. Over there, I’ve placed a continent of white people and over there is a continent of black people. And see this – I call this place America. North America will be rich and powerful and unwelcoming, while South America will be poor and hot and friendly. And the little spot in the middle is Central America, which is another hot spot. Can you see the balance?’
    ‘Yes,’ says the archangel, impressed by God’s work. Then he points to a large land mass and asks, ‘What’s that one?’
    ‘Ah,’ said God. ‘That’s Australia, the most glorious place on Earth. There are beautiful mountains, rain-forests, rivers, streams and an exquisite coastline. The people are good looking, intelligent and humorous, and they’re going to be found travelling the world.
    ‘They’ll be extremely sociable, hard working and high achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats and carriers of peace. I’m also going to give them superhuman, invincible cricket, rugby and tennis, and golfers who will be admired and feared by all who come across them.’
    Michael gasps in wonder and admiration, but then exclaims, ‘But you said there would be balance!’
    God replies wisely,

‘Wait until you see the weird, lazy, sheep-rooting Kiwi scoundrels I’m putting next to them!’