Worst Joke Ever 2024

[ballpoint]

Two women are looking at dresses through a shop window.

“That’s the one I’d get” says one to the other, pointing at a dress.

Sammy Davis Junior comes running out the store and slaps her.

[ballpoint]

I phoned the drugs helpline today and the automated message said ‘for information about cannabis press hash.. .’

[ballpoint]

A bloke goes into the doctors and says ” Doc ..overnight I’ve got this growth on the end of my nose and I can’t explain it ”

The doctor takes out a magnifying glass and upon inspection says ” Oh yeah ..its in miniature ..but there is a golden beach with clear blue water  a mountain in the background with a cascading waterfall & clear blue skies ”

The bloke says ..”Have you ever seen anything like this before ”

Doctor “Yes and you have nothing to worry about ..its just a beauty spot “

[DezLez]

1 hour ago, ballpoint said:

and as I looked at all this, I thought, 'I must put a roof on this lavatory'.

Or do as god intended you to do in that place and not spout it forth from the mouth or keyboard!

????

[Zyxel]

[dcsw53]

[dcsw53]

[WorriedNoodle]

[WorriedNoodle]

[WorriedNoodle]

[WorriedNoodle]

[WorriedNoodle]

[WorriedNoodle]

[WorriedNoodle]

[WorriedNoodle]

[WorriedNoodle]

[Zyxel]

[ballpoint]

I  don’t know what all the fuss is about same sex marriage these days…

Me and the wife have been having the same sex for years.

[ballpoint]

There’s a nudist convention in town next week.

Might go along if I’ve got nothing on.

[ballpoint]

I, for one, really enjoy a roman numeral based pun.

[ballpoint]

I saw a man with a trolley full of horseshoes and rabbit’s feet earlier, trying to get it up a hill.

I thought, he’s pushing his luck.

[ballpoint]

I’ve given up asking rhetorical questions.

What’s the point?

[ballpoint]

People say I’m condescending.

(That means I talk down to people).

[ballpoint]

I remember the first time I used my Universal Remote Control; "amazing". I thought “this changes everything”

[ballpoint]

My grandfather drowned in a barrel of varnish.

it was a horrible end, but a lovely finish.

[ballpoint]

Eskimo 1 “Whats for dinner?”

Eskimo 2 “Vera Lynn Burgers”

Eskimo 1 “Oh no. Not whale meat again”

[ballpoint]

Did you hear about the agoraphobic homosexual?

He came out then went back in again.

[ballpoint]

My friend just broke up with her longtime boyfriend because she found out he was a communist.

She should have known, there were red flags everywhere.

[VocalNeal]

18 minutes ago, ballpoint said:

People say I’m condescending.

(That means I talk down to people).

Mansplaining again?

[DezLez]

51 minutes ago, ballpoint said:

I, for one, really enjoy a roman numeral based pun.

Does that mean one can count on one to add to the conversation?