Worst Joke Ever 2024

[WorriedNoodle]

[WorriedNoodle]

[WorriedNoodle]

[WorriedNoodle]

[WorriedNoodle]

[WorriedNoodle]

[WorriedNoodle]

[WorriedNoodle]

[WorriedNoodle]

[WorriedNoodle]

[WorriedNoodle]

[VocalNeal]

25 minutes ago, WorriedNoodle said:

Sally has 4 apples and Julie has two oranges. How far south of Scotland are they?: -   Andy Parsons

[Zyxel]

[ballpoint]

The self-depreciation society is taking applications for new members.
I've already put myself down.

[ballpoint]

I've just started resistance training at the gym.
So far this week I've resisted training four times!

[ballpoint]

When we go on holiday my wife has to take a suitcase just for her knickers.

God knows what we'd do if she took two pairs.

[ballpoint]

I keep getting nuisance text's on my mobile phone.
The most frequent one is 'You said you were leaving the pub three hours ago'

[ballpoint]

My doctor told me I'm paranoid...

I wonder who else he's told?

[ballpoint]

I went to my eye test today.
Optician said : "I want you to look into this machinery and tell me what you see.."
I replied: "I see a geezer eating a bat, pubs closed and people wearing masks "
'Fantastic '..he says 'you've got 2020 vision '

[ballpoint]

Police are investigating why the plaque on the wall outside the Colgate head office keeps disappearing.

[ballpoint]

Ever played silent tennis?

It’s like normal tennis, but without the racket.

[ballpoint]

Last time I went to a nightclub, I got turned away by the bouncers. They said I'd had "a few too many".

I said, "I've only had 3 pints", but one of them replied, "birthdays pal, birthdays..."

[ballpoint]

I went into a bar in Spain & there was a huge bulls head on the wall.
I said " that must have been a big bull"
The barman " That bull killed my grandfather"
I said " Was he a bullfighter? "
He said " No. He was playing draughts over there and it fell on him! "

[roo860]

[roo860]

[roo860]

[DezLez]

1 hour ago, ballpoint said:

Police are investigating why the plaque on the wall outside the Colgate head office keeps disappearing.

It probably gets brushed into the cavity insulation wall!

[fasteddie]

[Zyxel]

[ballpoint]

I saw a woman with a t-shirt that said "Guess" on it.
Apparently "Implants?" was not the appropriate response.