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Worst Joke Ever 2024


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My wife left me for my best friend.

Well ... actually he was a complete stranger at the time.

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Pakistan Floods - Free Calls from UK to Pakistan From EE

Now it's actually free to phone them and laugh.

Follow me for more money saving tips

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The word hyphenated doesn't have a hyphen, yet non-hyphenated does have a hyphen. 

This has to be the maddest thing in the English language. A word that contradicts its own rule

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I was told to live every day like it was my last.

That's why I'm lying on a trolley in a hospital corridor.

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Floods in Pakistan have killed over 1000 people.

Both families say they  are devastated

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All this talk about putting the first black man on the moon is all very well and good but for safety should they not stick a police station up their first

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I'm not surprised Germany lost the war.

In every picture you can clearly see that Hitler used paper whilst Churchill chose scissors.

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I'll never forget the last words my dear old Dad said to me before they found him brutally murdered.

"You ungrateful Git! First thing tomorrow morning I'm cutting you out of my will!"

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I bet little Mohammed isn't having to walk 3 miles fetch water now! I think I'll ask for my $1 a month donation back.

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What do you call a Pakistani flood survivor......................Mustafa dinghy.

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24 minutes ago, ballpoint said:

At band practice last night, a guy came up and asked if I could give him a roll on the drums?

I said wouldn't you prefer a plate?

As a symbolic gesture you could have offered to beat beat him instead?

Edited by DezLez
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39 minutes ago, ballpoint said:

Yes, no vowels passed yet, only copious liquids. He's still in consonant.

 

 

 

 

I suppose it gives a whole new meaning to the phrase "by word of mouth"!

Edited by DezLez
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