Worst Joke Ever 2024

[scottiejohn]

39 minutes ago, dcsw53 said:

You appear to have successfully fixed the whining noise with the blue stuff but you also seem to have immobilised the essential working parts at the same time with the white stuff. 

I recommend stripping the machine of all the white stuff, in fact anything that is not blue, and then set it to work!

 

PS;  A little stuffing every few days seems to do wonders for some reason!

[fasteddie]

5 hours ago, Zyxel said:

Reminds me of a trip from Koh Jum in my friend's longtail, I swear it's the only reason he took me along, Lol

[scottiejohn]

8 minutes ago, fasteddie said:

Reminds me of a trip from Koh Jum in my friend's longtail, I swear it's the only reason he took me along, Lol

What!

Just to put his finger in you?

 

PS'; Is "longtail" a  euphemism for something we should not discuss in a family orientated forum?

[Yellowtail]

[Yellowtail]

[ballpoint]

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[scottiejohn]

7 minutes ago, ballpoint said:

But not the bellicose one!

I am too much of a coward!

[scottiejohn]

6 minutes ago, ballpoint said:

Was there a sucksessfull successful ending?

[ballpoint]

[scottiejohn]

A woman wakes up in the middle of the night
And realizes her husband isn’t in bed with her.

She goes downstairs and finds him sitting alone in the kitchen, looking very serious.

“Is everything alright, honey?” she asks.

“Do you remember way back when we first started dating? And your father caught us fooling around in the back of your car?”

“Of course!” she says, thinking how sweet it is that he’s reminiscing on the early days of their courtship.

“Do you remember how he stuck that shotgun in my face and told me that if I didn’t marry you he’d send me to jail for 25 years?”

“How could I forget?”

He looks up at her, wipes away a tear, and says

 

“I would have gotten out today.”

[ballpoint]

[ballpoint]

[scottiejohn]

Pillsbury Doughboy death notice.

Sad news:

It is with great sadness that we report the passing of the Pillsbury Doughboy.

The cause of his death was from a yeast infection and trauma from repeated pokes in his belly.

Doughboy was buried in a greased coffin, with the gravesite piled high with flours.

Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects; including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, The Hostess Twinkies, and Capt. Crunch.

 

Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded.

 

Born and raised in Minnesota, Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being flakey at times, he was still a crusty old man and was considered a positive roll model for millions.

 

Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play Dough, and his three children: John Dough, Jane Dough, and Dosey Dough.

 

He and his wife also had one in the oven. He is also survived by his father, Pop Tart.

 

The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.

[ballpoint]

[scottiejohn]

My wife and I had a great romantic courtship and then got married on the summit of Mt Everest.
But it was all downhill from there on!

[roo860]

[roo860]

[Martin71]

[Martin71]

[Martin71]

[Martin71]

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