Worst Joke Ever 2024

fangless · January 7, 2022

fangless · January 7, 2022

Chat-up Line:-
Would you like to try an Australian kiss?

It is just like a French kiss, but down under!

roo860 · January 8, 2022

roo860 · January 8, 2022

ballpoint · January 8, 2022

How are everyone's New Years Resolutions going?
Anybody finished their Easter Eggs yet?

ballpoint · January 8, 2022

My distance vision is getting worse. The Moon was last night, but I could see only half of it.

ballpoint · January 8, 2022

People say I'm sarcastic
but I'm just investigating the effects of irony on morons.

ballpoint · January 8, 2022

Two men are playing golf when one realizes he's left his jacket at the last tee He goes back to get it, stops halfway and turns back.

"What's up?" asks his mate.

"Well, you see those two women at the tee? One's my wife, and she's playing with my mistress."

His mate laughs and says, "No worries, I'll go get it for you."

He stops halfway, comes back, looks at his mate and says "Small world."

ballpoint · January 8, 2022

RyanAir has won the least popular airline award again.
If they win again next year, they will beat the previous record set by the Luftwaffe in 1945.

ballpoint · January 8, 2022

I never make predictions.
Never have.
Never will.

ballpoint · January 8, 2022

I've just seen on the news that the thief who is stealing t-shirts in order of size is still at large.

ballpoint · January 8, 2022

Bigamy.

Like the real me, but taller.

ballpoint · January 8, 2022

Butterflies are not what they used to be.

ballpoint · January 8, 2022

I've just bought a Humpty Dumpty from Aldis.
It's great.
It comes with Aldi King's Horses and Aldi King's men.

ballpoint · January 8, 2022

Be careful of local swimming pools offering water sports.
Some girls are no fun at all, and they do press charges.

ballpoint · January 8, 2022

Guys, is it Belend, Bell End,or Bell-end?

It's for a headstone, so I need to get it right.

Edited January 8, 2022 by ballpoint
Just found another censored word

ballpoint · January 8, 2022

A doctor made it his regular habit to stop off at a bar for a hazelnut daiquiri on his way home. The bartender knew of his habit, and would always have the drink waiting at precisely 5:03 p.m.
One afternoon, as the end of the work day approached, the bartender was dismayed to find that he was out of hazelnut extract. Thinking quickly, he threw together a daiquiri made with hickory nuts and set it on the bar.
The doctor came in at his regular time, took one sip of the drink and exclaimed, "This isn't a hazelnut daiquiri".
"No, I'm sorry", replied the bartender, "it's a hickory daiquiri doc".