Worst Joke Ever 2024

ballpoint · June 12, 2022

ballpoint · June 12, 2022

ballpoint · June 12, 2022

I went on one of those once in a lifetime holidays.

Never again!

ballpoint · June 12, 2022

ballpoint · June 12, 2022

ballpoint · June 12, 2022

It's been a tiresome morning, and I'm bored as an Amish electrician, so started thinking about this and that...

Like how Hooters missed a major business opportunity during the Covid lockdowns.

They should have started a home delivery service, and called it Knockers.

Zyxel · June 12, 2022

Zyxel · June 12, 2022

dcsw53 · June 13, 2022

dcsw53 · June 13, 2022

ballpoint · June 13, 2022

Equality.

ballpoint · June 13, 2022

Actual tourist complaints to travel companies:

1. "On my holiday to Goa in India, I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry. I don't like spicy food."

2. "They should not allow topless sunbathing on the beach. It was very distracting for my husband who just wanted to relax."

3. "We went on holiday to Spain and had a problem with the taxi drivers as they were all Spanish."

4. "We booked an excursion to a water park but no-one told us we had to bring our own swimsuits and towels. We assumed it would be included in the price."

5. "The beach was too sandy. We had to clean everything when we returned to our room."

6. "We found the sand was not like the sand in the brochure. Your brochure shows the sand as white but it was more yellow."

7. "It's lazy of the local shopkeepers to siesta in the afternoons I often needed to buy things during Ê½siesta timeÊ¼. This should be banned."

8. "No-one told us there would be fish in the water. The children were scared."

9. "Although the brochure said that there was a fully equipped kitchen, there was no egg-slicer in the drawers."

10. "I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local convenience store does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts."

11. "The roads were uneven and bumpy, so we could not read the local guide book during the bus ride to the resort. Because of this, we were unaware of many things that would have made our holiday more fun."

12. "It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England. It took the Americans only three hours to get home. This seems unfair."

13. "I compared the size of our one-bedroom suite to our friends three-bedroom and ours was significantly smaller."

14. "The brochure stated: No hairdressers at the resort. We're trainee hairdressers and we think they knew and made us wait longer for service."

15. "When we were in Spain, there were too many Spanish people there. The receptionist spoke Spanish, the food was Spanish. No one told us that there would be so many foreigners."

16. "We had to line up outside to catch the boat and there was no air-conditioning."

17. "It is your duty as a tour operator to advise us of noisy or unruly guests before we travel."

18. "I was bitten by a mosquito. The brochure did not mention mosquitoes."

19. "My fiancé and I requested twin-beds when we booked, but instead we were placed in a room with a king bed. We now hold you all responsible and want to be re-reimbursed for the fact that I became pregnant. This would not have happened if you had put us in the room that we booked."

ballpoint · June 13, 2022

Finally, someone is doing their job...

ballpoint · June 13, 2022

Notice in a school cafeteria:

ballpoint · June 13, 2022

ballpoint · June 13, 2022

ballpoint · June 13, 2022

A man approached a very beautiful woman in a large supermarket and said, "I've lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?"

"Why do you want to talk to me?" she asked puzzled.

"Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman, my wife appears out of nowhere."

ballpoint · June 13, 2022

Shop assistant: "Would you liked this wrapped as a gift?"
Me: "Sure! I thought I was going to have to pay for it."

ballpoint · June 13, 2022

Zyxel · June 13, 2022

Zyxel · June 13, 2022

chickenslegs · June 13, 2022

12 hours ago, ballpoint said:

A man approached a very beautiful woman in a large supermarket and said, "I've lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?"

"Why do you want to talk to me?" she asked puzzled.

"Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman, my wife appears out of nowhere."

True story: I once went shopping alone in Tesco Lotus Pattaya. A very good looking young lady was struggling to reach a product from a high shelf, so I helped her. We had a very short conversation and I was rewarded by a gorgeous Thai smile (this was before masks) before we each went on with our shopping.

When I arrived home about 30 minutes later these were the very first words that greeted me from my wife: "Who was that lady you were talking to in Lotus?"