Worst Joke Ever 2024

[ravip]

One sock cutter, he cuts socks.

Two sock cutters, they cut socks.

Three sock cutters, they cut socks.

Four sock cutters, they cut socks.

Five sock cutters, they cut socks.

They all cut socks together!

 

Now say it aloud as fast as you can.

[roo860]

[roo860]

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[fangless]

2 hours ago, ballpoint said:

form a line beside those bin liners.

Any relation to Osama Bin Liner?

[tifino]

There are 3 guys... 

 

 

[ballpoint]

[Crossy]

[fangless]

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[fangless]

[fangless]

 

 

PS;  FYI: Aldi is a cut price supermarket/store chain in Europe.

[fangless]

What’s worse than a bull in a china shop?

– A hedgehog in a condom factory.
 

[fangless]

A man was passing a pet shop when he saw a talking monkey advertised for sale. He was so impressed by its extensive vocabulary that he bought it on the spot.

That evening he took it to his local bar and bet everyone twenty dollars that the monkey could talk. Nine people accepted the challenge but despite its new owner’s coaxing and prompting, the monkey refused to say a word and the man had to pay up.

When he got it home, the man was puzzled to hear the monkey talking freely.

 

The next evening, the man returned to the bar and bet everyone thirty dollars that the monkey could talk. Again there were plenty of takers but, to the man’s fury, the monkey remained silent. After paying up, the man took the monkey outside.

‘I’m taking you back to the shop,’ he raged. ‘You’re a complete waste of money!’

 

 

‘Calm down,’ said the monkey. ‘Think of the odds we’ll get tomorrow.’

[fangless]

When Noah lowered the ramp of the Ark for all the animals to leave, he ordered them:

‘Go forth and multiply.’

All the animals left except for two snakes which remained curled up in the corner of the Ark.

‘Why will you not go forth and multiply?’ demanded Noah.

‘We don’t know how to multiply,’ said the snakes.

 

‘We’re just adders!’
 

[fangless]

Two dog owners were discussing the intelligence of their pets.

‘The smartest dog I ever had’, said the first, ‘was a Jack Russell that could play cards. He was brilliant at poker – he could even beat professionals. But I had to have him put down.’

‘You had him put to sleep?’ said the other. ‘You must be crazy. A bright dog like that could be worth a million dollars!’

 

‘I had no choice. I caught him using marked cards.’
 

[roo860]

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[ballpoint]

3 hours ago, fangless said:

but Old McDonald is easy to spell.  e-i-e-i-o.

[bluesofa]

16 minutes ago, ballpoint said:

but Old McDonald is easy to spell.  e-i-e-i-o.

Unless you're dyslexic:

Old MacDonald had a fram, z-y-z-y-k

[fangless]

22 hours ago, voulez vous said:

Should read: "This guy wants to be identified as a female."

 

Breaking lots or records.

It should say "breaking her balls for lots of records!"

[voulez vous]

20 minutes ago, fangless said:

It should say "breaking her balls for lots of records!"

Have to be careful in what we say with this stuff. The LGBetc*. will start stalking us.

 

Thai branch.

[fangless]

6 minutes ago, voulez vous said:

The LGBetc*. will start stalking us.

What with?

[fangless]

45 minutes ago, bluesofa said:

Unless you're dyslexic:

Old MacDonald had a fram, z-y-z-y-k

You can't be dishelextrix ro ouy  would have speltit rite!