Worst Joke Ever 2024

[faraday]

[sanuk711]

The one Greek Philosopher I  can  get behind..........

[faraday]

[sanuk711]

[roo860]

[bannork]

[Disparate Dan]

3 hours ago, ballpoint said:

The actor who played Captain Kirk in Star Trek has announced that his women’s lingerie business has been a total failure...

In hindsight, maybe 'Shatner Knickers' wasn't the best name for the venture!

It's so old I can't be sure, but I think Max Factor was also in this joke somewhere.

[ravip]

[faraday]

[ravip]

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[sanuk711]

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[sanuk711]

 

[sanuk711]

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[sanuk711]

Where feminists and vegans should be allowed to live-for free!

[sanuk711]

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[WorriedNoodle]

[Disparate Dan]

1 hour ago, sanuk711 said:

Where feminists and vegans should be allowed to live-for free!

to which the only answer is:

[ballpoint]

Paddy and Mick are walking along a street in London.

Paddy looks in one of the shop windows and sees a sign that catches his eye.

The sign reads,
"Suits £5.00 each, Shirts £2.00 each, Trousers £2.50/pair."

Paddy says to Mick, "Look at those prices, we could buy a whole lot of those and re-sell them in Ireland for huge profits. Let’s go in there, but keep quiet, OK? I'll do all the talking because if they hear our accents, they might think we're thicko's from Ireland and try to screw us. I'll put on my best English accent."

"Roight y'are Paddy, you do all da business" says Mick.

They go in and Paddy says in a posh English voice, "I say ole’ chap, I'll take 50 suits at £5.00 each,100 shirts at £2.00 each, and 50 pairs of trousers at £2.50 each... I'll back my truck up and load them on myself."

The owner of the shop says, "You're Irish, aren't you?"

"Well yes" says a surprised Paddy, "What gave it away?"

The shop owner replies, "We’re a bloody dry cleaners."

[ballpoint]

SAD NEWS JUST IN
Swampy the eco-warrior has died of a heart attack.
They offered him a bypass but he wasn't having any of it.

[ballpoint]

Alfred was a fanatical golfer and on one particular business trip to Africa he took the opportunity to play a round on the course and play around with the local ladies of the night. Picking one to his liking, he takes her back to the course hotel, gets her on all fours and mounts up. Before too long, she starts to moan, "Angawa!" Encouraged, he starts thrusting harder - "Angawa!", she cries, "Angawa!" Before too long, he has the most earth-shattering orgasm and they collapse on the bed, her still murmuring, "Angawa..."

Next morning, he hits the course feeling fantastic and starts the most incredible game of his life, birdies from every drive. Then at the 12th, he smashes the ball like Odin smiting the Ice Giants and it soars past the green, bounces on the 13th fairway and plops square into the 13th.

"Argh!", he yells. "That's the wrong bloody hole!"

"Yes, boss," says his caddy. "Or as we say round here, 'Angawa.'"

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