Worst Joke Ever 2025

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My wife has stood by me for 35 years.

We really need another chair.

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Apparently this weekend it will be constant rane, hale, thundre, litnin and frizzing colde.

Really bad spell of weather.

[WorriedNoodle]

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[Mike Lister]

Do NOT post any more political memes about the US election, this is not a place to promote your political beliefs.

[Zyxel]

A husband and wife came for counseling after 25 years of marriage. When asked what the problem was, the wife went into an angry tirade listing each and every problem they had ever had in the 25 years they had been married.

She went on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, a long list of unmet needs she had endured over the course of their quarter century of marriage.

Finally, after allowing this to go on for a sufficient length of time, the therapist stood up, walked around his desk and, asking the wife to stand, embraced her and kissed her passionately on the mouth.

The woman shut up and, in a daze, quietly sat down;. The therapist turned to the husband and said, "This is what your wife needs at least seven times a week. Do you think you can do this?"

The husband thought for a moment and replied, "Well, Doc, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on the other days I play golf."

[Zyxel]

A blonde got lost in her car in a snow storm. She remembered what her dad had once told her. "If you ever get stuck in a snow storm, wait for a snow plow and follow it."

Pretty soon a snow plow came by, and she started to follow it. She followed the plow for about forty five minutes. Finally the driver of the truck got out and asked her what she was doing. She explained that her dad had told her if she ever got stuck in the snow, to follow a plow.

The driver nodded and said, "Well, I'm done with the Wal-Mart parking lot, now you can follow me over to K-Mart."

[Zyxel]

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Paddy in Wetherspoons:

"How much for a lager?"

"£2 a pint and £7 a pitcher".

"I'll just have a pint then. Bugger the photo!"

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[tomazbodner]

3 hours ago, ballpoint said:

Or if this were 1900s France would be looking to surrender.