Worst Joke Ever 2025

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[Crossy]

A man goes to his doctor and complains that his wife hasn’t wanted to have sex with him for the past six months.

 

The doctor tells the man to bring his wife in so he can talk to her and hopefully determine what the problem is.

 

The following day, the wife goes to the doctor’s office. The doctor asks her what’s wrong, why doesn’t she want to have sex with her husband?

 

“Oh, that’s easily explained. For the past six months,” the wife says, “I’ve been taking a cab to work every morning. I don’t have any money. The cab driver asks me, ‘Are you going to pay today, or what?’ So, I take an ‘or what’.”

 

“Then, when I get to work,” she continues, “I’m late, so the boss asks me, ‘Are we going to write this down in the book, or what?’ So, I take an ‘or what’.

 

I take a cab to go home after work and, as usual, I have no money. The cab driver asks me again, ‘So, are you going to pay this time, or what?’ Again, I take an ‘or what’.

 

So you see, doc, by the time I get home I’m all tired out and don’t want it anymore.”

“Yes, I see,” replies the doctor. “So, are we going to tell your husband, or what?”

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[Support]

3 minutes ago, Crossy said:

A man goes to his doctor and complains that his wife hasn’t wanted to have sex with him for the past six months.

 

The doctor tells the man to bring his wife in so he can talk to her and hopefully determine what the problem is.

 

The following day, the wife goes to the doctor’s office. The doctor asks her what’s wrong, why doesn’t she want to have sex with her husband?

 

“Oh, that’s easily explained. For the past six months,” the wife says, “I’ve been taking a cab to work every morning. I don’t have any money. The cab driver asks me, ‘Are you going to pay today, or what?’ So, I take an ‘or what’.”

 

“Then, when I get to work,” she continues, “I’m late, so the boss asks me, ‘Are we going to write this down in the book, or what?’ So, I take an ‘or what’.

 

I take a cab to go home after work and, as usual, I have no money. The cab driver asks me again, ‘So, are you going to pay this time, or what?’ Again, I take an ‘or what’.

 

So you see, doc, by the time I get home I’m all tired out and don’t want it anymore.”

“Yes, I see,” replies the doctor. “So, are we going to tell your husband, or what?”

So are we going to leave this posted or what ? 

[Crossy]

Yesterday I confessed all my sins to my girlfriend.

And?

Did not work, we are getting married in three weeks.

[Crossy]

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
(Hardly seems worth it.)

If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
(Now that's more like it!)

The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.
(O.M.G.!)

A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
(In my next life, I want to be a pig.)

A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy.)
(I'm still not over the pig.)

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories a hour
(Don't try this at home,maybe at work)

The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the males head off.
("Honey, I'm home. What the....?!")

The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.
(30 minutes..lucky pig! Can you imagine?)

The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond? )

Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
(I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity)

Butterflies taste with their feet.
(Something I always wanted to know.)

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
(Hmmmmmm......)

Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people.
(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)

Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.
(okay, so that would be a good thing)

A cat's urine glows under a black light.
(I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
(I know some people like that.)

Starfish have no brains.
(I know some people like that too.)

Polar bears are left-handed.
(If they switch, they'll live a lot longer)

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
(What about that pig??)

[Crossy]

There's an old Australian stockman ... (no, it's not that song)

 

... out checking farm fences in his Landcruiser when he hit something. He radioed the farm for advice.

 

"There's a pig stuck in the bullbar and it's still alive but he's kicking and squealing so much I can't get him free" he said.

 

"Okay," said the boss. "In the back of the 'cruiser there's a pistol. Put it up to the pig's head and shoot it. When its body goes all limp you'll be able to get it off the bullbar and throw it into the bush."

 

About 45 minutes later the stockman called in again, "I did what you said, boss. I shot the pig in the head, he went all limp and I got him out of the bullbar, no problem. But I still can't go on."

 

"Why not?" Asked the boss. "What's the problem?"

 

"Well, it's his motorbike ... it's jammed under the wheel-arch."

 

The oldies are the goodies ???? 

[Crossy]

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