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Worst Joke Ever 2026

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I would like to invite all readers of this thread to my New Years party !!, my new extension is ready so bring a friend...... i have plenty of room now !!

 

 

 

 

 

 

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43 minutes ago, Andrew Dwyer said:

i have plenty of room now !!

 

I call first dibbs on the hammock . It might double as a  parachute on the way down.

 

 

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I've seen a lot worse that are a lot higher in the hills of Medellin Colombia.  

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2 hours ago, WorriedNoodle said:

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  Another variant on this theme

 

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Edited by Peter Denis

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A wealthy husband and his wife were having dinner at an upscale restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big open mouthed kiss, then says she'll see him later and walks away.
The wife glares at her husband and says, "Who the hell was that?"
"Oh," replies the husband, "she's my mistress."
"Well, that's the last straw," says the wife. "I've had enough, I want a divorce!"
"I can understand that," replies her husband, "but remember, if we get a divorce it will mean no more shopping trips to Paris, no more wintering in Barbados, no more summers in Tuscany, no more BMW in the garage and no more yacht club. But the decision is yours."
Just then, a mutual friend enters the restaurant with a gorgeous babe on his arm.
"Who's that woman with George?" asks the wife. "That's his mistress," says her husband.
“Ours is prettier," she replies.

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Did you hear about the farmer who went to the pub and, when he returned, found that his wife had walked out and taken the tractor?

 

She'd left him a John Deere letter.

 

 

 

 

 

Edited by ballpoint

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My friend is thinking about getting a dog. He wants a Labrador. Is he mad? Have you seen how many of their owners go blind?

2 hours ago, ballpoint said:

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We used to do that. I was a Michelin star.

2 hours ago, ballpoint said:

Did you hear about the farmer who went to the pub and, when he returned, found that his wife had walked out and taken the tractor?

 

She'd left him a John Deere letter.

 

 

 

 

 

My mother used to call my father "John Dear". So one Xmas I bought him a hat.

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