A teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade students. "Human beings are the only animals that stutter,' she says.

A little girl raises her hand. "I had a kitty-cat that stuttered" she said.

The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked the girl to describe the incident.

"Well," she began, "I was in the back yard with my kitty and the Rottweiler that lives next door jumped over the fence into our yard!."

"That must've been scary," said the teacher.

"It sure was" said the little girl. "My kitty raised her back, went Ffffff!, Ffffff!, Ffffff!, but before she could say 'F..k-off' the Rottweiler ate her!"

2 hours ago, Zyxel said:

Mt wife has been dropping some gentle and not so gentle hints about a new car. I will show her this and suggest it is OK for a trip to the noodle shop in the village. Before I do that, does anybody know how to set up a GoFundMe account? 

2 minutes ago, billd766 said:

Mt wife has been dropping some gentle and not so gentle hints about a new car. I will show her this and suggest it is OK for a trip to the noodle shop in the village. Before I do that, does anybody know how to set up a GoFundMe account? 

Go get injured on a motorcycle on the way home from a bar at 03:00 with no helmet, license or insurance and the guys here will be falling over themselves to help set one up. 

2 minutes ago, Yellowtail said:

Go get injured on a motorcycle on the way home from a bar at 03:00 with no helmet, license or insurance and the guys here will be falling over themselves to help set one up. 

 

It's what mates are for.🤔

A man in a hotel lobby turns to go to the front desk, but he accidentally runs into a woman beside him and his elbow bumps into her breast.

 

They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and says, "Ma'am, if your heart is soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me." She replies, "If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 436."