Tg Wants A Car, But Cannot Afford One!

[ZEAK]

My TG works in BKK, and has to commute to the airport for work, some times coming back at wee hours in the morning. She has recently heard stories of girls getting raped by BKK cab drivers and now is fearfull for her safety and is bent on getting a car. I love her very much and would never want anything bad to happen to her, but I have forbid her buying a car.

First off, I do know that it can be dangerous for women to get into taxis in BKK, but when she leaves her building she has phoned in to the cab office and ordered the taxi, so there is a record of what taxi number responded. Then, when she leaves the airport, she takes the airport taxi that are official. But some times to save 50 Baht she goes up a level and grabs one of the taxis that are dropping off passengers. This is huge no no as far as I am concerned and she has now promised to take the airport cabs. If she is afraid for her safety the 50 baht is a small price to pay. She says that the official airport taxis some time complain as they do not have to take her very far and she feels bad as they had to wait in the Q, I say if they complain take down their number and call in a complaint. It is part of their job and it may suck but hey, who is to say that after they drop her off they pick up a huge fair?? Being Buddhists (especially) I do not know why they cannot see that this is possible?

So even with these precautions and even with some pepper spray, she still feels a car is better for her. I think it has a lot to do with her sitting around with her colleagues at work who all have cars or are in the process of getting one. I can see it, and everyone and their dog here in this wonderful country has or wants a car.

She then tries to justify a car by telling me that she spends 4K a month on cabs. Well, my sweet girl, if that is all you are paying for transport consider you’re selflucky. Some of the costs of having a car that I mentioned to her is the loan payment, down deposit, insurance, maintaince and repair, fuel costs, toll costs, registration, parking costs (and headache), traffic hassles and many others. Even if I talk till I am blue these issues do not register with her. She does not have a condo bought and paid for, nor a fat savings or a huge salary. She is in no position to buy a car in my opinion. I am trying to say her headache and financial loss, but she thinks I do not care about her safety.

I asked her to think of all the girls that take cabs everyday in BKK, and out of all those girls how many have been raped by the drivers? I am sure not all rapes get reported, but I am also sure that rapes by cab drivers are not happening in epidemic numbers. I just do not know what else I can say to get her to understand that she is not in a position to get a car. Any suggestions?

[bendix]

Yeah, buy her a car!

[ZEAK]

Yeah, buy her a car!

Very insightfull! Why didnt I think of that?

Its not a matter of my buying her anything, she wants to do this with my help or not. I have had a talk with her 3 times already and it keeps comming up. Thinking if maybe I could find a self-defence course for her that it will instill some confidence in her ability to defend herself against an attack by a cabby.

[PeaceBlondie]

Is she one of these people (the West is full of them, especially under 30 years old) who fails to grasp the concept of budgeting their income? Does she buy frivolous things, end up three days before payday with no cash, borrow at exorbitant interest rates, fail to understand simple financial thought processes? Then she has no business buying anything other than her next meal.

Ask her to write down what she spends money on in a month, and compare it to her income. See if she grasps fundamental concepts of budgeting. If not, spend the next six months helping her try to understand. Like most people in the world, she may be either stupid, ignorant, or lazy. Good luck.

[mr_hippo]

"I love her very much and would never want anything bad to happen to her, but I have forbid her buying a car."

What gives you the right to 'forbid' her doing anything? If you are concerned about her safety, why don't you buy a car/motorcycle and pick her up?

[bendix]

And - to extend mr hippo's point - if she wants to do it with or without your help, what gives you the right to have a say in this? Are you her father? Her lawful guardian?

If she is over the age of maturity and if a finance company is prepared to loan her the money, what gives you the right to be involved in the decision?

Nobody knows what is best for a person, better than themselves.

[britmaveric]

Well the subject will keep coming up until she has the car, so get used to it mate.

[markuk]

be careful, she may well go and earn her "car money" elsewhere!!

[esprit]

Is she one of these people (the West is full of them, especially under 30 years old) who fails to grasp the concept of budgeting their income? Does she buy frivolous things, end up three days before payday with no cash, borrow at exorbitant interest rates, fail to understand simple financial thought processes? Then she has no business buying anything other than her next meal.

Ask her to write down what she spends money on in a month, and compare it to her income. See if she grasps fundamental concepts of budgeting. If not, spend the next six months helping her try to understand. Like most people in the world, she may be either stupid, ignorant, or lazy. Good luck.

An interesting point of view but it appears she is worried about being sexually assaulted by the cab drivers and I am not convinced by your post how a financially balanced budget will prevent it, unless that is, she carries a cheque book or savings book which cunningly conceals an AK47.

However one thing that does not appear to have caught on much in Thailand, unlike many other countries, is car sharing. That way the assault risk becomes negiligable whilst the financials also look much healthier.

[The Dan Sai Kid]

Get her a motorbike!

[Berty]

Going nowhere fast this one....

[RAZZELL]

Get her a motorbike!

Agreed..

A nice new bike can be bought for about 40 odd thousand, so in less than a year the "taxi money" will have paid for the bike...

RAZZ

Edited February 19, 2007 by RAZZELL

[Loz]

Get her a motorbike!

Agreed..

A nice new bike can be bought for about 40 odd thousand, so in less than a year the "taxi money" will have paid for the bike...

RAZZ

Dude,

A second hand bike can be had for the price of a months taxis! If safety is the concern then save for two months and buy a bike for 5 to 10k that run and run until the cows come home. Safety first ( not fashion!)

Good luck. Ps. can't help but point out that arguing is pointless. If she is hel_l bent on doing it she will. If you think that makes her too stupid then leave her. Can't believe she is the only girl here you could find attractive...

[ZEAK]

Is she one of these people (the West is full of them, especially under 30 years old) who fails to grasp the concept of budgeting their income? Does she buy frivolous things, end up three days before payday with no cash, borrow at exorbitant interest rates, fail to understand simple financial thought processes? Then she has no business buying anything other than her next meal.

Ask her to write down what she spends money on in a month, and compare it to her income. See if she grasps fundamental concepts of budgeting. If not, spend the next six months helping her try to understand. Like most people in the world, she may be either stupid, ignorant, or lazy. Good luck.

Funny thing is that she records every last baht in MS money and gets upset if it does not balance by 5 baht! She is that same as me, a "key nok" and does think long and hard before spending her hard earned money. I like this trait about her very much, she knows what a stung is worth!

I think I will get her to do a "dry run" on just how much a car would cost her, and hopefully once she sees that 75% of her monthly wages will be put towards a depreaciating (sp) asset, she might think 2wice!

[BigSnake]

Go for it man buy the car, she will survive, she can't be any worse than half of the drivers already on the road. If you check around you should be able to find a decent car for Bt200000 or less.

[ZEAK]

"I love her very much and would never want anything bad to happen to her, but I have forbid her buying a car."

What gives you the right to 'forbid' her doing anything? If you are concerned about her safety, why don't you buy a car/motorcycle and pick her up?

Well, what gives YOU the right to question my right to forbid my girlfriend to do something?? Are you part of our 2.5 year intimate relationship? No, you are not. There would not be much of a relationship if each party went out and did things of this magnitude without the others consent. And yes, it works both ways.

I can not pick her up, it is impossible as her hours are not fixed, and niether are mine.

[Lucifer]

She will get her car within six months, no matter what anyone says. Guaranteed.

She wants a car, she doesn't need it. The rape stories is to blackmail you and make you feel guilty.

She will get her car, one way or another.

[tigerbeer]

get her a beetle for less than 100,000. if she doesnt like it, you keep it!

[ZEAK]

And - to extend mr hippo's point - if she wants to do it with or without your help, what gives you the right to have a say in this? Are you her father? Her lawful guardian?

If she is over the age of maturity and if a finance company is prepared to loan her the money, what gives you the right to be involved in the decision?

Nobody knows what is best for a person, better than themselves.

I am her COMPANION, that is why I have a right to say what I think. Because I will be the person to help her if/when she is is trouble, and I know that a car will cause her trouble, and I know where that leads to. I feel I have a very strong say in the matter, would'nt you?

So by your rational, any person that can get financing can afford the purchase?? Man, now thats a scary thought. Look around, most Thais, hel_l, most people are financed to the teeth! Playing a game and if their stability gets thrown off from illness, injury, layoff of what ever, its game over and the friendly finance company sits back grinning.

A friend of mine got his TG to finance her scooter, and she was paying interest on the FULL AMOUNT untill the balance was paid off. I don't know about you, but I am leary to trust that finance companies are looking out for what one can and cannot afford.

"Ignorance is bliss"

"I will try being nicer if you try being smarter"

[ZEAK]

Well the subject will keep coming up until she has the car, so get used to it mate.

I want it to keep coming up, untill she understands what a burden a car would be on her! I have owned many autos in the past and I know of the costs. She does not. She has never even drove before! So for her to want to jump straight into BKK traffic is like a non-swimmer going for a deep dive to 200 feet! It just makes no sence. She should be focusing on how to be safer, not how nice a car would be. Who is to say it would be safe for her to enter her car at 2 in the morning in a dark parking lot? What if it breaks down on the freeway and strangers stop...after seeing a pretty Thai girl in a skirt in distress. Come off it, a car has many dangers as well.

[ZEAK]

be careful, she may well go and earn her "car money" elsewhere!!

Kind of an insulting thing to say to someone, no?

[ZEAK]

She will get her car within six months, no matter what anyone says. Guaranteed.

She wants a car, she doesn't need it. The rape stories is to blackmail you and make you feel guilty.

She will get her car, one way or another.

Arnt you just a ray of sunshine!

Sure thing devil boy, if you say so. But ONLY if you guarantee it.

And did it ever occur to you that the rape stories are real, and that she really is concerned for her safety?? Or are all expats getting blackmailed as we speak? hmmmm

[ZEAK]

Is she one of these people (the West is full of them, especially under 30 years old) who fails to grasp the concept of budgeting their income? Does she buy frivolous things, end up three days before payday with no cash, borrow at exorbitant interest rates, fail to understand simple financial thought processes? Then she has no business buying anything other than her next meal.

Ask her to write down what she spends money on in a month, and compare it to her income. See if she grasps fundamental concepts of budgeting. If not, spend the next six months helping her try to understand. Like most people in the world, she may be either stupid, ignorant, or lazy. Good luck.

An interesting point of view but it appears she is worried about being sexually assaulted by the cab drivers and I am not convinced by your post how a financially balanced budget will prevent it, unless that is, she carries a cheque book or savings book which cunningly conceals an AK47.

However one thing that does not appear to have caught on much in Thailand, unlike many other countries, is car sharing. That way the assault risk becomes negiligable whilst the financials also look much healthier.

She oftens tries to come back to her room with one of her co-workers, that way they save on taxi fare and both feel safer. I am all for this, but some times it is not possible.

[LivinLOS]

The car as a status symbol is much worse here than back in the west.. She wants one.. her social standing is being measured by this fact.. Her friends are morgating themselves to play keep up with the Joneses..

This has far less to do with her safety than these facts.

How about making an arrangement with one driver / taxi to be on call.. Work out cheaper than owning a car in BKK IMO.

No big face in that tho.

[ZEAK]

Get her a motorbike!

Agreed..

A nice new bike can be bought for about 40 odd thousand, so in less than a year the "taxi money" will have paid for the bike...

RAZZ

Thanks for the input, but her on a motor bike in BKK still puts her at risk, not of rape but of crashing. Plus her company does not allow employee's to come to work on a motorbike. Has something to do with the company image. The taxi money issue is not a strong point, she just throw it in as her ammo supply was low during the firefight.

[ZEAK]

The car as a status symbol is much worse here than back in the west.. She wants one.. her social standing is being measured by this fact.. Her friends are morgating themselves to play keep up with the Joneses..

This has far less to do with her safety than these facts.

How about making an arrangement with one driver / taxi to be on call.. Work out cheaper than owning a car in BKK IMO.

No big face in that tho.

I really do agree with you on this. I know she is concerned for her safety, but in the backround I believe it is also the status thing going on. This is afterall, Thailand.

I never thought about getting her a driver, but that just might be the solution to this problem. She gets her work time table a month in advance, so if I driver can pick her up and drop her off each time it would solve this. Thank you very much for this constructive comment.

Best.

Edited February 19, 2007 by ZEAK

[bkkbound04]

whenever i visit bkk i park away and just take the skytrain/ac bus...imho it's easier and quicker..

i don't know what's up with the op??

he seems very defensive to opinions that differ from his own, yet here he is asking for advice on how to deal with a problem in his intimate relationship..

it's your decision not to drive a car, maybe you are a cheap charlie, maybe you can't afford it or maybe u find public transport easier in the smoke...but that's just it...your decision..now u are trying to impose your will on your gf..a al control freak i.e don't mind spending 6 months argueing over it(relationship??) just so she finally shares your opinion...

i personally agree with most comments on this page...it's a status symbol, rape happens..it happens in the west...are u going to believe a western woman thats says her only reason for owning a car is fear of rape?..as was mentioned the rapes are not that common..although they do happen

i doubt this will make sense to you, it's not the same as your own opinion

as u said your are her companion, you have the right to voice your opinion, u don't have the right to forbid her...because that's control

maybe i've misunderstood this thread..if i have i appologise, but imho the reason i distance myself from farangs in thailand is that many are 2nd/3rd class citizens in their own country, then they visit thailand and try to treat the thai's like they are lower than themselves, disrepect them, control them etc etc

[solo siam]

How much is she spending on taxis?

could own and run a brand new car for less than 350 baht a day.

[ZEAK]

whenever i visit bkk i park away and just take the skytrain/ac bus...imho it's easier and quicker..

i don't know what's up with the op??

he seems very defensive to opinions that differ from his own, yet here he is asking for advice on how to deal with a problem in his intimate relationship..

it's your decision not to drive a car, maybe you are a cheap charlie, maybe you can't afford it or maybe u find public transport easier in the smoke...but that's just it...your decision..now u are trying to impose your will on your gf..a al control freak i.e don't mind spending 6 months argueing over it(relationship??) just so she finally shares your opinion...

i personally agree with most comments on this page...it's a status symbol, rape happens..it happens in the west...are u going to believe a western woman thats says her only reason for owning a car is fear of rape?..as was mentioned the rapes are not that common..although they do happen

i doubt this will make sense to you, it's not the same as your own opinion

as u said your are her companion, you have the right to voice your opinion, u don't have the right to forbid her...because that's control

maybe i've misunderstood this thread..if i have i appologise, but imho the reason i distance myself from farangs in thailand is that many are 2nd/3rd class citizens in their own country, then they visit thailand and try to treat the thai's like they are lower than themselves, disrepect them, control them etc etc

Whats up with the OP? Very defensive to opinions that differ from my own? Really?? I thanked a poster for his imput on getting a motorbike for her, and I thanked a poster for the idea of getting her a driver. I posted to get ideas on some other options, not to be lectured on how I should treat my GF. I forbid her to get a car because I do not want her to make a huge mistake and take on a burden that I KNOW she can not handle on her own. So if I am a bad guy for "controling her" and not letting her do this, than I am a bad guy. But thats YOUR opinion, and for you to think that you know how I treat my girlfriend because of this issue is very ignorant on your part.

This has not been going on for months as you implied, nor will it. And its not about her agreeing with me, its with her fully understanding the responsibity and burden a car would entail.

I am her companion, and I DO have the right to forbid her if I am the one that will cover the unforseen costs of her car because she can not afford it. Yes, it is control, I am controling her getting into financial dept, and all the headaches that come with owning a car in BKK.

The fact that rapes do happen, but are not that common is what I keep telling her. But she is still fearfull. That is why I think some sort of defense training might help.

I know what you mean about watching old farungs treat Thais with little respect, it saddens me to see this. And it saddens me to read that you think I am one of them because I want to stop a women that I care a great deal about from making a mistake. Call me sensitive, but that is a shallow judgment to make based only on the issue at hand.

Once again, thanks to those that did contribute in a constructive manner, instead of smart ass remarks. Going to check into gettin a driver.

Best

[Lucifer]

whenever i visit bkk i park away and just take the skytrain/ac bus...imho it's easier and quicker..

i don't know what's up with the op??

he seems very defensive to opinions that differ from his own, yet here he is asking for advice on how to deal with a problem in his intimate relationship..

it's your decision not to drive a car, maybe you are a cheap charlie, maybe you can't afford it or maybe u find public transport easier in the smoke...but that's just it...your decision..now u are trying to impose your will on your gf..a al control freak i.e don't mind spending 6 months argueing over it(relationship??) just so she finally shares your opinion...

i personally agree with most comments on this page...it's a status symbol, rape happens..it happens in the west...are u going to believe a western woman thats says her only reason for owning a car is fear of rape?..as was mentioned the rapes are not that common..although they do happen

i doubt this will make sense to you, it's not the same as your own opinion

as u said your are her companion, you have the right to voice your opinion, u don't have the right to forbid her...because that's control

maybe i've misunderstood this thread..if i have i appologise, but imho the reason i distance myself from farangs in thailand is that many are 2nd/3rd class citizens in their own country, then they visit thailand and try to treat the thai's like they are lower than themselves, disrepect them, control them etc etc

Well said.

A woman who uses blackmail to get what she wants?....hmm thats never happened before.

I have also found a few farangs who because of inferiority complexes, from back home, tend to be control freaks in Thailand.

I know one farang who used to decide how his Thai girlfriend could spend her own hard earned money...eek