Osama

Osama bin Laden has a heart attack and dies.

He immediately goes to hel_l, where the devil is waiting for him.

"I don't know what to do here," the devil says. "You're on my list, but I

have no room for you. But you definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell

you what I'm going to do...

I've got a couple of people here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let

one of them go, but you have to take their place. I'll even let YOU decide

who leaves."

Osama thought that sounded pretty good, so the devil led him into the

first room.

In it was Manuel Noriega and a large pool of water. He kept diving in and

surfacing empty-handed. Over and over and over. Such was his fate in

hel_l.

"No," bin Laden said, "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer and I

don't think I could do that all day long."

So the devil led him to the next room. In it was the Ayatollah Khomeini

with a sledgehammer and a huge pile of rocks. All he did was swing that

hammer, time after time after time.

"No, I've got this problem with my shoulder. I'd be in constant agony if

all I did was break rocks all day," bin Laden commented.

So the devil opened a third door. In it, bin Laden saw Bill Clinton, lying

on the floor with his arms staked over his head and his legs staked in a

spread-eagle pose. Bent over him was his girl Monica, doing what she does

best. Osama bin Laden stared in disbelief and finally said, "Yeah, I can

handle this."

The devil smiled and said, "OK, Monica, you're free to go."