Two peanuts walk into a bar - One was asalted.

A sandwich walks into a bar - The barman says "Sorry, we don't serve food in here"

A jumper cable walking into a bar - The barman says "Look I'll serve you, but don't start anything"

A truckie walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says - "A beer please...and one for the road"

A dyslexic man walks into a bra...(HAHA oh I love that)

Two aerials meet on a roof, fall in love and get married - The ceremony wasn't much but the reception was great!

I went to the seafood disco rave last week and pulled a mussel.

I opened a pack of Snakes Alive and they were all dead!

I found a Tic Tac in the gutter once, it was in mint condition.

two nuns walk into the dark convent, one says wheres the candle?

other one says sure does