2 Jokes

Why are wedding dresses white

Son asked his mother, "Mum, why are wedding dresses white?"

The mother looks at her son and replies,

"Son, this shows your friends and relatives that your

bride is pure."

The son thanks his Mum and goes off to double-check this

with his father.

"Dad why are wedding dresses white?"

The father looks at his son in surprise and says,

"Son, all household appliances come in white."

CROCODILES

Two Crocodiles were sitting at the side of the swamp near the lake in

Canberra.

The smaller one turned to the bigger one and said, "I can't understand

how you can be so much bigger than me. We're the same age, we were the

same size as kids. I just don't get it."

"Well," said the big Crock, "what have you been eating?"

"Politicians, same as you," replied the small 'Crock.

"Hmm. Well, where do you catch them?"

"Down the other side of the swamp near the parking lot by Parliament

House."

"Same here. Hmm. How do you catch them?"

"Well, I crawl up under one of their Lexus cars and wait for one to

unlock the car door. Then I jump out, grab them by the leg, shake the

S*** out of them and eat 'em!"

"Ah!" says the big Crocodile, "I think I see your problem. You're not

getting any real nourishment. See, by the time you finish shaking the

S*** out of a Politician, there's nothing left but an ###### and a

briefcase."