'Trapped'

[Essex Reject]

10 minutes ago, AlexRich said:

Romford

Takes one to know one, ha ha..

 

I'm a Hornchurch boy.

 

Come on you Irons!

[AlexRich]

Just now, Essex Reject said:

Takes one to know one, ha ha..

 

I'm a Hornchurch boy.

 

Come on you Irons!

A bit upmarket, Hornchurch. 

[Essex Reject]

Just now, AlexRich said:

A bit upmarket, Hornchurch. 

Use to be, bit of a shithole now ha ha.

[AlexRich]

1 minute ago, Essex Reject said:

Use to be, bit of a shithole now ha ha.

Try the section of Victoria Road by Romford train station ... I think I prefer Hornchurch.

[Ctkong]

1 hour ago, soistalker said:

You're not dealing with sophisticated people. At the center of the problem Is you, and your ability to provide for the extended family. You are the outsider in your marriage. Your wife is first a member of her family. Second, she is your wife. That's the order.

Guys....if you are going to marry a thai woman, which I would never suggest, then you have to lay down the rules for behavior of your wife, and especially the members of her family. Make a set of rules that cannot be broken. For example,  no unannounced visits. The number of times that I have heard of thai relatives showing up and staying for weeks at a time is too many to count. 

I heard firsthand a story about a guy who decided to take his girlfriend to a nice beach. She told her family about it, and next thing this guys knows, there are 15 relatives showing up. Everyone eats and drinks like a free buffet, because it is a free buffet...a farang paid lunch. At the end, the waitress brings him the bill, and he said he paid the money, with a stupid look on his face as he knew he had been played by them. No one said thank you or was appreciative at all.

Bet you didn't see that coming.

He broke up with her the next day, telling her, "this isn't going to work out.

Bottom line: stop being a sucker.

It depends upon how serious your girlfriend is towards you. If she is just into you recently, she may want her relatives to give her their appraisals thus the lunch. However she may also be using you as a free meal ticket for her relatives .also depends upon the types of relatives that turned up. If they were uncles and elders,then maybe she getting their appraisals. If the relatives includes small kids and whatever, then it is definitely a free lunch with you as a walking ATM.

[Essex Reject]

22 minutes ago, AlexRich said:

Try the section of Victoria Road by Romford train station ... I think I prefer Hornchurch.

Yea always been rough around there.

 

You ever going back mate or you here for good now?

 

I've been here 18 years and miss some things still..plus i've got a 10 year old lad.

[AlexRich]

20 minutes ago, Essex Reject said:

Yea always been rough around there.

 

You ever going back mate or you here for good now?

 

I've been here 18 years and miss some things still..plus i've got a 10 year old lad.

It was my last residence in the UK, not been there since 2009. I quite liked the place, great connection to Stratford and Liverpool St. I’m not in Thailand now, I just travel in and out, and jump to surrounding countries between visas. Currently ensconced in Cyprus, waiting out Brexit. Expect to be back in 2020, but plans can change. 

[Essex Reject]

2 minutes ago, AlexRich said:

It was my last residence in the UK, not been there since 2009. I quite liked the place, great connection to Stratford and Liverpool St. I’m not in Thailand now, I just travel in and out, and jump to surrounding countries between visas. Currently ensconced in Cyprus, waiting out Brexit. Expect to be back in 2020, but plans can change. 

Sounds like a nice life. Yes, a lot to be said for residing near to a well linked station, will be a priority or me if I go back.

[CGW]

2 hours ago, Spidey said:

It's another urban myth that you marry the family when you marry a Thai. Up to you.

True! when I read "we are building on wife's family land" I just think - disaster in the making. 

[MiNombreEsFicticious]

On 3/11/2019 at 6:54 PM, BritManToo said:

Stand your ground, and live your life. Don't argue, don't discuss, avoid her family.

Don't give her or the kid any money, it's gotta be your way or the highway.

You wouldn't happen to be single, would you?

[A1Str8]

You are right. Its all about control. You have been putting up with it for a few years, you said.
Question is, for how long are you going to continue?????
Because they will never stop, just so you know.

[RJRS1301]

On 3/11/2019 at 9:54 PM, BritManToo said:

Stand your ground, and live your life. Don't argue, don't discuss, avoid her family.

Don't give her or the kid any money, it's gotta be your way or the highway.

Spoken like a person who feels very entitled

[sanemax]

28 minutes ago, Benroon said:

Half ? From Essex ? AND he was even rejected from there ????

At least he aint a Cockney Reject 

[mike787]

4 hours ago, helloagain said:

I will be blunt. Ditch the bitch. Support your child as long as you can see your child. Go get the snip so no more kids. If you not allowed to see child move to a totally new area. Or sell flat. Move and start again. 

BEST advice is right here.  My vasectomy cost $20 CDN copay = saving $250,000/kid (cost to raise from 0-18yr)every time I bust my nuts.  BEST investment I made.  On top of the cost savings, NO stress. But wait!  There is more.  I am FREE!!!  THat's pricelss.  Do it.  Or keep suffering. Your choice!  This is your life, not Thaivisa's. What are you going to do now???

[BritManToo]

12 minutes ago, RJRS1301 said:

Spoken like a person who feels very entitled

Spoken like someone who learned not to waste their life trying to please a woman.

They can't be pleased, they will just ask for more ........ it's what women do AWALT.

Edited March 13, 2019 by BritManToo

[mike787]

10 minutes ago, RJRS1301 said:

Spoken like a person who feels very entitled

Entitled.  Hmmm!  Really! Entitled to be abused or respected by oneself??

[BritManToo]

3 hours ago, Spidey said:

It's another urban myth that you marry the family when you marry a Thai. Up to you.

The mother-in-law and her paedophile husband are a different kettle of fish.

I divorced the daughter, still stuck with MiL though. 

Hopefully she'll leave soon.

 

I never had to worry about FiL, he died in CM jail a few years back.

No worries about my step-daughters dad either, been in jail 20 years, another 5 to go.

Edited March 13, 2019 by BritManToo

[4MyEgo]

On 3/12/2019 at 1:34 AM, Will E Vormer said:

I def shd stand my ground.

I wish I had some encouraging words for you, but maybe these words might reach you and perhaps persuade you to see yourself from their eyes now.

 

You have always been the husband, the son-in-law, the farang with the potential to deliver the offspring/s, I would imagine because you are a farang, you probably have a lessor status to Thai's, the child has replaced you, so you are number 2.

 

If your wife is not prepared to put you back to number 1 then it's time to move on or you will always be 2nd best, just a provider.

 

The child will be fine, the child will survive, maybe not under the conditions you would like, but you have NO CONTROL, trust me, I am speaking from experience, having separated from my x (not Thai) when our daughter was 18 months old, she is now approaching 22, it was tuff, but she survived and so did I.

 

I repartnered with a Thai and have been "happily" married to her for 12 years, she is my rock, supports my decisions, keeps her parents at bay, and raises our two girls the way we agree on, no outside influences, no running to mumy, she is a good old school housewife with a solid comeback if you push her too far, spunk, I believe they call it, which I respect.

 

Stay away from her and the child for a while, get your head sorted, you can't work and suffer at the same time, when she rings, and she will, just tell her you need time out, if she starts threatening you, just hang up, you have the power, not her, don't allow the child to become the pawn, that is her power, do not support her financially, unless she agrees to your terms and conditions, that's your power, it's a game now, and she will want to win all the time, and if you allow her, she will win.

 

Go out and enjoy yourself, be in the company of other women, spill your beans, have a few drinks, loosen up and even go as far as taking one on to release your stress, it helps, but make sure you give them fair warning, i.e. it's a one off, you'll thank me for it later, trust me, you need to unload !!!

 

Take it as it comes, she will be freaking out, because she will know that she is losing you, her parents will be wearing her out as will the child, hopefully before not too long, she will bend to your needs, i.e. getting her away from her parents, after all, you did marry her, and not her parents.

 

Best of luck either way, just remember there are plenty of fish in the sea, and you can throw them back in as soon as they start to smell, so to speak, look after yourself and your needs first and foremost, it's your life, everyone should be second, the wife, the kid/s, one life, enjoy it, don't become a stressed person because of one's actions, cut and move on as if it was a cancer on your finger, off with it, it's called survival ????

Edited March 13, 2019 by 4MyEgo

[Spidey]

46 minutes ago, Benroon said:

I would have kept that to myself - it may well be perfectly innocent but it’s not right to normal people.

 

It's perfectly all right for normal people. When my wife's away my son prefers to sleep in our bed, we put a movie on, share a bag of popcorn and he falls asleep. Same happens when I'm away, he sleeps with his mother. Are you saying that it's ok for him to sleep with his mother and not me?

 

Only a person harbouring paedophiliac tendencies would think it wrong. So sick.

[BritManToo]

52 minutes ago, Benroon said:

I would have kept that to myself - it may well be perfectly innocent but it’s not right to normal people.

It's entirely normal in Thailand, you are the abnormal one here.

[NoshowJones]

3 hours ago, Spidey said:

I refuse to have my mother-in-law in the same province as me. Every time I return to the UK, she's straight down but makes sure that she's gone before I get back.

 

It's another urban myth that you marry the family when you marry a Thai. Up to you.

 

My wife's 2 children from her previous marriage are good kids, her daughter is holidaying with us ATM. She's a pleasure to have around. Her brother and sister (both married) work in Rayong and often stay over night. We go out for a few beers and a meal and are fun to be with.

 

The mother-in-law and her paedophile husband are a different kettle of fish. I told my wife, early doors, that they get none of my money and they never darken my door. It was a difficult conversation, but what's right is right. My wife saw my POV and has always respected my wishes.

What does POV stand for?  Another member of the lazy typist brigade.

[Spidey]

1 minute ago, possum1931 said:

What does POV stand for?  Another member of the lazy typist brigade.

Sorry, I agree. Point Of View.

 

ATM=At The Moment or farang, depending on your POV. 555

 

 

Edited March 13, 2019 by Spidey

[BritManToo]

2 minutes ago, possum1931 said:

What does POV stand for?  Another member of the lazy typist brigade.

Says a member of the lazy google brigade.

[bungcheese]

On 3/11/2019 at 6:54 PM, BritManToo said:

Stand your ground, and live your life. Don't argue, don't discuss, avoid her family.

Don't give her or the kid any money, it's gotta be your way or the highway.

I'm afraid that he gave up his life when he got married and had a child. At this point it's not about him any longer, nor is it about his wife, but it's about his daughter and raising her to be the best human being possible. He should stand up for his daughter, make the necessary sacrifices to ensure she is cared for, and try and make the best of it. Giving it all up because you have had a "row" in regards to how the child should be raised is a very selfish and short minded decision. 

He made his bed, now I am afraid he must lay in it. He can demand moving out from the in-laws residence, but keeping the family in tact is important.

 

I hate to say it, but the OP sounds a bit immature regardless of his age, late 40's. He walked out on his daughter & wife, and hasn't made contact to try and make things right? Its time to march back in with an apology and work hard at putting yourself last. Its called being selfless and humble. Something many lack these days I am afraid. 

 

Good luck to the OP, I hope that you are able to mend your relationship and do what is right for your daughter. I am sure she is precious, so treat her as such. Good luck!

[pjrob]

I have a 10 year old son and there is no way I would send him to the UK for schooling now. As someone rightly stated, the standard of education is hugely overrated, unless you are rich enough to send your child to a private school or you live in a good area. On top of that you  have to consider exposure to drugs etc, even in nice schools. Then there is the bullying, rife in schools in the UK but practically unheard of here. A good private Thai school plus input from you as a father should see your kid grow up just fine. Why not consider the UK for University?

[sanemax]

9 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

It's entirely normal in Thailand, you are the abnormal one here.

So, you had a baby with a student who took the baby to school with her (how old was she when she conceived)?) , now you sleep in the same bed with your ex-partners daughter , who is 7 and the mother doesnt live with you ?

  Is that correct ?

[Spidey]

15 minutes ago, bungcheese said:

I'm afraid that he gave up his life when he got married and had a child. At this point it's not about him any longer, nor is it about his wife, but it's about his daughter and raising her to be the best human being possible. He should stand up for his daughter, make the necessary sacrifices to ensure she is cared for, and try and make the best of it. Giving it all up because you have had a "row" in regards to how the child should be raised is a very selfish and short minded decision. 

He made his bed, now I am afraid he must lay in it. He can demand moving out from the in-laws residence, but keeping the family in tact is important.

 

I hate to say it, but the OP sounds a bit immature regardless of his age, late 40's. He walked out on his daughter & wife, and hasn't made contact to try and make things right? Its time to march back in with an apology and work hard at putting yourself last. Its called being selfless and humble. Something many lack these days I am afraid. 

 

Good luck to the OP, I hope that you are able to mend your relationship and do what is right for your daughter. I am sure she is precious, so treat her as such. Good luck!

For a child whose parents are in a toxic relationship, it's sometimes in the best interests of the child for the parents to separate. A child should have a safe and happy environment, not an environment where arguments and often violence are the norm. It's a last resort, but sometimes the only way, for one parent to leave the family home.

[emptypockets]

I'm impressed.

91 posts and no-one has trolled out the old 'run Forrest run'.

Trump hasn't got a mention either. 

Edited March 13, 2019 by emptypockets

[mike787]

1 hour ago, Benroon said:

I just love some of the shit that gets spouted on here - so in a nutshell you’ve got a failed marriage, estranged kids and are getting chased by ladyboys and you’re telling the OP you’ve got the best advice 

 

????????????????????????

Your Interpretation is incorrect.  The marriage failed, what "failed" means to each person is disputable based on perspective, philosophy, religion, etc.  Simply put, the marriage lasted until we "mutually" decided it could no longer sustain, therefore, was irreconcilable to both parties.  No smack down fest here.  Two mature adults, after doing everything they could even with professional consultation to the point of fatigue, decided a different path was the only answer. The kids are NOT estranged.  The kids are loved by all that know them, and they are emancipated/FREE legally, emotionally to do as they please with their lives.  They have chosen for many reasons beyond my ability to explain here, or your patience to read, for right, wrong reasons a different path that does not include my physical presence (at the present time).  No one has imposed anything on their "choice".  Again, recall, they are emancipated, supported, and loved by all.  The lady boy comment; I have little choice in that.  Example, I walk down the street, they solicit "everyone".  Married, single or whatever the individuals status is, there are constant opportunities for everyone. That is my only point.  I would prefer they ignore me. Does this help clarify, or you prefer to hold onto your reality?  I am not here to change your mind.  Rather, give you a choice by clarifying the difference between "your" truth and "my" truth.  I respect your perspective, but it is based on "your" reality of the situation that is influenced by who you are, not what happened in "my" life. As for the "the best advice" comment.  TO me, every answer in life is correct, because everything has a reason.  I believe there is no right or wrong per se.  So if the OP chooses to remain in his present circumstances, then that is obviously what he feels is the best path.  He may change it later, or NOT.  But that is what he wants.  You may choose to only accept "your" interpretation of my explanation, that too is ok...  

Edited March 13, 2019 by mike787

[BritManToo]

10 minutes ago, Spidey said:

For a child whose parents are in a toxic relationship,

The woman chooses the difficult relationship, the woman controls the children.

The man can either go along with it or leave, but don't be daft and pay for her choices.