2 Jokes

[Jamesyboi]

A little boy walks into his parent's room to see his mom on top of

his dad bouncing up and down, and retreats. The mom sees her

son and quickly dismounts, worried about what her son has seen;

she dresses and quickly and goes to find him.

The son sees his mom and asks "What were you and dad doing?

"The mother replies" Well, you know your dad has a big tummy and

sometimes I have to get on top of it to help to flatten it.

"You're wasting your time, "says the boy.

"Why is that?" ... Asked his mom puzzled.

"Well when you go shopping the lady next door comes over and

gets on her knees and blows it back up again".

The wife came home early to find her husband making love to a beautiful

sexy young woman.

"You unfaithful, disrespectful jerk! What are you doing? How dare you do

this to me the faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving

this house and I want a divorce!"

The husband, replied, "Wait! Wait a minute! Before you leave, at least

listen to what happened."

"It'll be the last thing I will hear from you so make it fast, you

cheating creep."

"While driving home this young lady asked for a ride. I saw her so

defenceless that I went ahead and allowed her into my car. I noticed she

was very thin, not well dressed and dirty. She mentioned she had not

eaten for three days. Out of compassion, I brought her home and warmed

up the enchiladas I made for you last night that you wouldn't eat

because you're afraid you'll gain more weight. When I served them to

her, the poor young thing, practically inhaled them. Since she was dirty

I asked her if she'd like to bathe. While she was showering, I noticed

her clothes were worn-out and full of holes so I threw them away.

Since she needed clothes, I gave her the pair of jeans that you no

longer wear because they're too tight on you, I also gave her the blouse

that I gave you on our anniversary and you dont wear because I don't

have good taste. I gave her the pullover that my sister gave you for

Christmas that you won't wear just to bother my sister and I also gave

her the boots that you bought at the expensive boutique that you never

wore again after you saw your co-worker wearing the same pair.

After she dressed, I walked the young woman to the door where she turned

around and with tears of gratitude streaming down her cheeks, she asked

me, "Sir, do you have anything else your wife doesn't use?"