Thailand vs job

[Greyhat]

1 minute ago, amykat said:

Well better than your one anecdote of you!!

Are you irony impaired? My anecdote was in response to your own. Let's not continue to argue, I'm just here to counter balance the jaded boomer vibe, lest OP make any decisions based on such a silly thing.

[EricTh]

You haven't been reading the recent rejected visa applications and the numerous complaints recently, have you?

[amykat]

Yes, I get it Greyhat.  But also I don’t see relationships with Thais to be that great for Aspies.  An Aspie likes black and white thinking, Thais operate in the grey area.  Aspies like rules, Thais hate rules.  If an Aspie cannot read social cues in his own culture, he will be more lost in a culture like Thailand and more easily lead astray and scammed I believe.  I could keep going on but I will leave it there.

[Greyhat]

@amykat I don't really think he's a full blown aspie mate, he said as much himself.

 

1 hour ago, aajj88 said:

Don't know if I'm aspie, but think so.

 

Self diagnosis of things like this or "Autism" particularity are common in today's culture. What I imagine what he's most likely saying is he's just a bit socially awkward, perhaps some mild symptoms of something like aspergers.. maybe. I'd consider myself in the same boat, I'm not the most charismatic guy around, and I'm not the life of the party (as you can probably imagine), but you know I really think coming out here has helped me in a big way. I'm a lot more confident these days and I think being in relationships and having great places to go out and party and even being an expat in general have helped. We're already different to begin with by being here so there's not the same need to conform to societal norms. People are interested in you, I learned some Thai, made some friends and had a few love flings. I'm a new man thanks to Thailand. Maybe it could do the same for him. Fair play to caution him about the immigration system, and any other sensible advice. Maybe less of the "evil Thai girls will get u boiii"

 

Edited September 5, 2019 by Greyhat

[Greyhat]

As a last post, considering what I just wrote. I sincerely believe if I came to this forum before I moved to Thailand I may have been scared off the idea. That really would have been a shame. Maybe something to consider.

[Matzzon]

1 hour ago, RichardColeman said:

So for Thai ladies you'd be holiday cash material but not marriage cash material !

Isn´t that depending on how big the envelope is? 

[jondoe18]

Choose a country where visas and bureaucracy will not deprive you of joy .

[wisperone]

2 hours ago, aajj88 said:

Thailand just seems so wonderful still, the food especially.

Peoples food requirements/expectations vary greatly. You never know until you try. What may be good for you may be unedible to others.

[amykat]

5 minutes ago, Greyhat said:

As a last post, considering what I just wrote. I sincerely believe if I came to this forum before I moved to Thailand I may have been scared off the idea. That really would have been a shame. Maybe something to consider.

Well things have changed over the years since you have been here, and you arrived younger than the OP, and I am not sure if you had a good career going, and he has a good job offer right NOW.  Thailand is not going anywhere, he can come later. For you things are good, that is great, but for some people, things go badly, they develop bad habits, they get worse self esteem, they get in abusive relationships, they create children maybe they could do without, they get stuck, their career crashes, etc.

 

If you personally are only a bit shy, that is not being on the autism spectrum.  Being ASD is a serious disability for a lot of people and most posters are not going to address it because they don’t really know anything about it.  I do know about it. Loneliness is a serious problem for these people, and it can be even if they are married but with even more stressors at play.  Once you have been in Thailand for a while you realize you generally have only very superficial relationships with anyone you know.  Much harder to connect here and expats are not that friendly like one might expect.  The OP was on vacation, that is always different.

 

I think it is better to try to solve his life problem in a productive way.  He said he can’t keep the engagement level necessary to keep people around?  Usually some social activity will give you some brain chemicals that will spur on and motivate more, but as soon as you cut yourself off, it stops.  So working in an office is good.  Having a routine that incorporates social something is good, if you work out, do it in a social environment.  Go to support group meetings of some sort that give you happy motivational something??  Go there every Tuesday for example.  

 

It is like exercise or dieting you will have to work at it to some extent.

 

Try to build up a new lifestyle.  Also some hobby ideas that are kind of technology related can be drone photography or just photography and they have groups, and attract Aspie like people ....often.  Can do birding and photo and drone?  New things to study?  Or sports that are in groups ...I don’t know what you like but you have to be strategic about it.  

 

Keep your work success going, that is the one thing you can always hold on to, and it will buy you a lot of things, along with the money.  Believe me, my Father is quite wealthy today, and that is the ONLY thing he has going on, but he is happy mostly, he can afford his beach house, his ski house, his regular house, all his hobbies, world travel, and be a flaming <deleted> at the same time!!!  

 

My brother, on the other hand, is always trying to fold up shop, to move to another country where he is sure he will be a success, because people love him for the 5 minutes he is visiting.  They don’t know what a control freak, with 2 hour arguments about how you took your socks off the wrong way, he becomes later.  I am not saying everyone is like that ...but most Aspies seem to have various difficult issues for various reasons.

 

 

[aajj88]

Thank you @amykatand @Greyhat. You have both given me a lot of useful angles to consider. I have read and will re-read your posts. Really appreciate that you took the time, and I think you both make a good case. I'm still somewhere in between, one opinion in the morning and another at night. Not ready to decide yet it seems. 

 

I worry that I'm a littlw bit like your brother amykat. So I always useful to keep in mind, so I don't act out of fear rather than joy. I did experience some joy when trying greyhats path last year. We'll see. So long 

 

 

Edited September 5, 2019 by aajj88

[simon43]

If you decided to live in Thailand, then you have the problem of a legal, long-term visa.  Nowadays, you can't stay on short-term, back-to-back tourist visas.  At your age, the only option would seem to be a 500,000 baht, 5-year Elite visa.

 

But even with that expensive visa, you're not allowed to work, and that includes online work.  If you keep your online work quiet, you'll probably not have any problems with the authorities.  But you could have!

 

I had until recently an Elite visa and I worked online.  But now I've moved to live in Laos because a) I wasn't prepared to stump up 500,000 baht again, and b) I was concerned that sooner or later my online work would come to the attention of the authorities.

 

I moved to Laos, paid $600 for a renewable, multi-entry business visa and work permit, and now work online without any worries :)

[aajj88]

8 hours ago, simon43 said:

If you decided to live in Thailand, then you have the problem of a legal, long-term visa.  Nowadays, you can't stay on short-term, back-to-back tourist visas.  At your age, the only option would seem to be a 500,000 baht, 5-year Elite visa.

 

But even with that expensive visa, you're not allowed to work, and that includes online work.  If you keep your online work quiet, you'll probably not have any problems with the authorities.  But you could have!

 

I had until recently an Elite visa and I worked online.  But now I've moved to live in Laos because a) I wasn't prepared to stump up 500,000 baht again, and b) I was concerned that sooner or later my online work would come to the attention of the authorities.

 

I moved to Laos, paid $600 for a renewable, multi-entry business visa and work permit, and now work online without any worries ????

That's a pretty good deal ???? How do you like Laos compared to Thailand? Any connection problems for online work?