Smile awhile...

[ravip]

• Why do walruses love a Tupperware party? They’re always on the lookout for a tight seal.
• What’s the difference between a pick-pocket and a peeping tom? One snatches your watch. The other watches your snatch.
• What's the difference between light and hard? You can sleep with a light on.
• What do you do when you come across an elephant in the jungle? Wipe it off and say you’re sorry.
• How is being in the military like getting a BJ? The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.
• Want to hear a joke about my penis? Nevermind. It’s too long.
• What do you do if your partner starts smoking? Slow down and possibly use some lubricant.
• Doctor: "Sir, I have some bad news. I’m afraid you’re going to have to stop masturbating."Patient: "I don’t understand, doc. Why?"Doctor: "Because I’m trying to examine you."
• What’s the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer? The taste.
• What’s the difference between hungry and horny? Where you stick the cucumber.
• Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road? It got stuck in a crack.
• What do a nearsighted gynecologist and a puppy have in common? A wet nose.
• What do tofu and a <deleted> have in common? They are both meat substitutes.
• How does a woman scare a gynecologist? By becoming a ventriloquist.
• What's better than roses on your piano? Tulips on your organ.
• What's long and hard and full of seamen? A Submarine
• What do you call a cheap circumcision? A rip off.
• What do you get if you cross an owl and a rooster? A cock that stays up all night.
• Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? He worked it out with a pencil.
• What did the elephant say to the naked man? How do you breathe through that tiny thing?
• Why do they say that eating yogurt and oysters will improve your sex life? Because if you'll eat that stuff, you'll eat anything.
• I'm going out with an English teacher, which is a bit awkward because she keeps correcting my grammar during sex. She's particularly annoyed at my improper use of the colon.

[Puchaiyank]

Thanks for injecting some humor in an otherwise depressing forum...????