Legal help required: Husband has physically removed wife's daughter

[Clowny]

I'm engaged to be married to a Thai woman with the wedding due in three months, we are looking to relocate her and her daughter to the UK as the domestic situation there isn't the best. However, upon finding out the possible future the ex-husband (UK national) has decided that the opportunity of a better life for his daughter and ex-wife isn't acceptable and initially took the daughters passport and ID card hostage and has now physically removed his daughter from her care claiming she is incapable of caring for her. He's chosen to ignore her domestic difficulties for months until this potential move has arisen and is only an issue now so he can control them both. 

 

I've no idea where to go for help, what to do, whom to turn to and what the options are? She's understandably distraught at the moment so I cannot get any sense out of her.

[Preacher]

I presume both parents have custody over the child, which makes it complicated. I suggest talking to a competent lawyer as the police rarely will get involved. However the children have presumably also british nationality so making a complaint with the police in the UK would also be an option, but also depending on how the shared custody was arranged. (In most cases there are no arrangements).

[Clowny]

There is a written 50/50 custody agreement in place although he barely contributes financially and we have been left to shoulder 95% of the care and upkeep for the last five years. 

 

He's a good father, he just refuses to let her leave and relocate. The wife is reluctant to get lawyers involved due to a mistrust of them in general but how do I find a reliable one?

 

Heartbreaking really

[KhaoYai]

A lot will depend on which law is applicable due to the citizenship issues. Had the child been in the UK already and the mother wished to take her abroad, she would need the father's permission to do so. Not sure what is applicable in this case and not sure a Thai lawyer could tell you either. No doubt a Thai lawyer will tell you that Thai law applies - that may not be the case.

 

Its a delicate situation - many years ago my ex in the UK wanted to take my son with her to live in the USA. I refused to give my permission as I felt I would never see him again.  However, if my son had been moving from Thailand to the UK I may well have taken account of the fact that he would no doubt, receive a better education in the UK.

Edited February 8, 2020 by KhaoYai

[Number 6]

Walk away. I know that's not what you want to hear but that's just a boatload of hassle, grief and money. He is dead wrong but he's still the parent and you sir are not even married to the woman. Far more fish in the sea.

[Clowny]

Being colour blind your avatar picture makes me smile, those bloody Isihara tests are the bane of my life! 

 

Walking away isn't an option, as much as I appreciate the pragmatism and practicality of the suggestion, you're probably absolutely right in your honest appraisal.

 

I've tried reasoning genuinely with him and explaining that they would both be better provided for, cared for and their quality of life goes from borderline poverty to one of comfort and safety. However, he wasn't moved and just refuses to consider their well being over his selfishness. 

 

It's a <deleted> show of that there is no doubt.

[BritManToo]

31 minutes ago, Clowny said:

I've tried reasoning genuinely with him and explaining that they would both be better provided for, cared for and their quality of life goes from borderline poverty to one of comfort and safety. However, he wasn't moved and just refuses to consider their well being over his selfishness. 

I wouldn't be happy if some guy was trying to snatch my kid away to another country either.

If dad has 50% custody, the Thai court will insist the child stays in Thailand, if you want to move mom to the UK, best to leave the child in Thailand. You could always stay in Thailand with mom and she can retain her 50% custody.

Edited February 9, 2020 by BritManToo

[FritsSikkink]

On ‎2‎/‎9‎/‎2020 at 1:05 AM, Clowny said:

There is a written 50/50 custody agreement in place although he barely contributes financially and we have been left to shoulder 95% of the care and upkeep for the last five years. 

 

He's a good father, he just refuses to let her leave and relocate. The wife is reluctant to get lawyers involved due to a mistrust of them in general but how do I find a reliable one?

 

Heartbreaking really

If he has 50% custody, you can't take the kid outside Thailand without his consent, that would be kidnapping.

Edited February 14, 2020 by FritsSikkink

[colinneil]

On 2/9/2020 at 1:05 AM, Clowny said:

There is a written 50/50 custody agreement in place although he barely contributes financially and we have been left to shoulder 95% of the care and upkeep for the last five years. 

 

He's a good father, he just refuses to let her leave and relocate. The wife is reluctant to get lawyers involved due to a mistrust of them in general but how do I find a reliable one?

 

Heartbreaking really

How do you know the ex has not contributed to her daughters upbringing?

Do not believe everything your GF says.

Before you shout me down....Stop and think, been in a very similar situation here myself before, the fantastic stories my ex came up with were worthy of a thriller novel.