Another Farang Marriage Ends

[terry57]

I met my Laotian wife 5 years ago in Laos

its the country girl "professor" story.

she never saw a train in her life

I never saw so much poverty in my life

for one reason or another............we started to fall in love with oneanother.

she doesnt speak english

I didnt speak lao

Now we are legaly married.

We recieved Gods greatest gift to menkind....our son.

Now we live together as a family should do in Thailand

we speak Thai only, my son attend a Thai school

we eat Thai-Lao food....have our moments of "misunderstanding" but 1 thing is clear...as time went by and we were willing to learn more and more of oneanother life has been good to us.

hgma

My Thai wife and I could not be happier

4 years and going strong.

I love her, and her whole family.

I was truly blessed the day I met her. :D

thats a very nice story and respect to you and your wife, but unfortunatly it is not the norm.

but i hope you continue to be happy as thats all thats important.

Two guys that are happily married is not the norm?

im sorry maddy, but i aint got a <deleted> clue what your talking about me old son.

what are you on about. ?

[A_Traveller]

I have to admit that the Robin Wiliams quote springs to mind:-

"God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time."

Regards

[bkkmadness]

Terry I just come off a three day songkran bender so excuse me for if postings bit messy today.

thats a very nice story and respect to you and your wife, but unfortunatly it is not the norm.

But ' I don't get your 'not the norm' bit, whats not the norm?

edit:

ah do I read it right when you mean that the dude with the Laotian wife who has 'gone Thai' is not the norm?

Edited April 15, 2007 by bkkmadness

[terry57]

^Can you explain why you think the man should always face financial costs?

i don't, what i disagree with is farang men (who have money) marry a Thai girl (who has no money) then get divorced and expect to be able to walk away without paying anything. The damage done to the Thai girl can be immence, not just in loss of face, but also after being married to a farang and especially if she is left with nothing after a divorce, it will be next to impossable for her to find a Thai husband. So basically in a lot of circumstances the Thai girl has sacrificed her total future.

If that is the case then she will already be aware of it prior to the relationship commencing, and surely that is a gamble for her to accept or decline, is it not? I'm not convinced that she deserves to be compensated for this if it turns out she made the wrong choice.

i could be wrong here,

but would it be fair to assume that the majority on thai ladies come out of a relationship with a farang financially better off than when they entered it.?

one would think so.

it is usually the case in the west so why would it be any different here. ?

you are correct Terry, but my whole point has been is that its not just Thai girls screwing farangs over, a lot of farangs screw Thai girls over too, by messing up any chance of a future they had.

You'll find that a high percentage (going off all the farangs I've met in nearly ten years) of these girls who married farang will of been 'tainted' women in the eyes of Thai men before they even marry farang!

ok, i dont know about this and maybe i can learn something here.

so you are saying that a thai girl, once married to a farang will be rejected by thai men.?

so if this is the case, once a thai girl marries with a farang she will hunt out farang for a future husband.?

just asking the question so i can learn more about the thai rules of engagement.

[A_Traveller]

so you are saying that a thai girl, once married to a farang will be rejected by thai men.?

so if this is the case, once a thai girl marries with a farang she will hunt out farang for a future husband.?

just asking the question so i can learn more about the thai rules of engagement.

There is some truth to this, it is dependent on class, social circles etc.

Regards

[aussimike]

I've been in Thailand 6 years now and I've watched as all my friends who marry Thais get shafted one by one. Just heard about this recent situation. It was an office girl he had met on the internet (37), him 37. It lasted 2 years and they had a child together. After they were married, he ran into a cash crunch and this triggered the demise. The guy in question is a super nice, understanding and generous guy. I'm sure she expected more "resources" from him and was sadly disappointed, although I'm quite sure she cleaned his clock early on.

So I add this to the other similar stories I have witnessed by close acquaintances: There were 2 that involved 4 million baht house purchases and lasted less than a year. One was a bank teller and the other a clerk. There was a 3rd who had a child but ran short of cash so was abandoned. Word to the wise is be careful out there. This looks like a broken record. You won't see the professor going down this sad road. I feel for all my close friends who have been burned

well here is another one to add to the list of sad stories about ended marriages = wont go into mine but the same situation = also know a guy = white Sth Africian who moved here to set up farm import business - met a lady - married had a kid and hoped to live happily ever after --- he least premisies on a busy road here to start business. She was not happy so the moved to Sth A and started a good restaurant business there - no good - too cold for her - move back to bkk - back in the land of smiles -- bought house for around 8 m baht ---- top of the range car - all in her name of course --- and had to return to his old country for 3 months - returned = went to his house - she was not there but his child was = but her family from up country had moved in -- they told him he could stay in the back room - reserved for the servents -- and they did not know where she was -- car also gone - next day went to police and with the help of his local bank manger = police managed to find car parked few blocks from the house -- and OF COURSE -the joint bank account cleaned out to the tune of around 10 m bt - he is now too scared to drive the car anywhere for fear of someone snatching it -- but he has no recourse about this - house car and bank account in her name == he is now working as a teacher ---- sad sad story - saved all his live working hard in mining in south africa and comes here and ripped off -= same ole story = ok there are a few happy couples out there but the majority it seems end up like this -- the walking ATM syndrome

[sunshine13]

jez you guys are a bunch of nits. when someone says farang, they are obviously talking about westerns in thailand, not all westerners everywhere. i cant believe i actually just clarified that fact.

[cdnvic]

so if this is the case, once a thai girl marries with a farang she will hunt out farang for a future husband.?

Well, one would hope not

[terry57]

thats a very nice story and respect to you and your wife, but unfortunatly it is not the norm.

Two guys that are happily married is not the norm?

What a rediculous thing to say terry !

The truth is that we only hear about the relationships that have turned bad, this is why it seems (to the uneducated outsider) that farang/thai marriages or relationships always fail in bitter circumstances, and where we only normally hear the totally unbiased view of the hard done by farang, who is always without fail not at fault.

totster

atleast three different guys in three different bars told him thai girls dont mind if you have a mia noi!

Three different guys in three different bars? Obviously unimpeachable sources of information.

can someone let me in on the joke please? thanks tots

[markr]

I've been in Thailand 6 years now and I've watched as all my friends who marry Thais get shafted one by one. Just heard about this recent situation. It was an office girl he had met on the internet (37), him 37. It lasted 2 years and they had a child together. After they were married, he ran into a cash crunch and this triggered the demise. The guy in question is a super nice, understanding and generous guy. I'm sure she expected more "resources" from him and was sadly disappointed, although I'm quite sure she cleaned his clock early on.

So I add this to the other similar stories I have witnessed by close acquaintances: There were 2 that involved 4 million baht house purchases and lasted less than a year. One was a bank teller and the other a clerk. There was a 3rd who had a child but ran short of cash so was abandoned. Word to the wise is be careful out there. This looks like a broken record. You won't see the professor going down this sad road. I feel for all my close friends who have been burned

well here is another one to add to the list of sad stories about ended marriages = wont go into mine but the same situation = also know a guy = white Sth Africian who moved here to set up farm import business - met a lady - married had a kid and hoped to live happily ever after --- he least premisies on a busy road here to start business. She was not happy so the moved to Sth A and started a good restaurant business there - no good - too cold for her - move back to bkk - back in the land of smiles -- bought house for around 8 m baht ---- top of the range car - all in her name of course --- and had to return to his old country for 3 months - returned = went to his house - she was not there but his child was = but her family from up country had moved in -- they told him he could stay in the back room - reserved for the servents -- and they did not know where she was -- car also gone - next day went to police and with the help of his local bank manger = police managed to find car parked few blocks from the house -- and OF COURSE -the joint bank account cleaned out to the tune of around 10 m bt - he is now too scared to drive the car anywhere for fear of someone snatching it -- but he has no recourse about this - house car and bank account in her name == he is now working as a teacher ---- sad sad story - saved all his live working hard in mining in south africa and comes here and ripped off -= same ole story = ok there are a few happy couples out there but the majority it seems end up like this -- the walking ATM syndrome

NO- the majority do not end up like this, the simple fact is, the only time we hear about peoples relationships is when they have gone 'tits up' and someone has been hurt/taken for a ride.

People only talk about the bad things that happen, the happy ones have no reason to whinge.

Mark

[Temporaneo]

Glad that people have started to post some success stories though...

To my opinion there are no success stories for thai/farang marriages, but only stories that still haven't turned into their unavoidable catastrophic endings.

Edited April 15, 2007 by Temporaneo

[terry57]

Terry I just come off a three day songkran bender so excuse me for if postings bit messy today.

thats a very nice story and respect to you and your wife, but unfortunatly it is not the norm.

But ' I don't get your 'not the norm' bit, whats not the norm?

edit:

ah do I read it right when you mean that the dude with the Laotian wife who has 'gone Thai' is not the norm?

what i meant by that statement was ,

it's not the norm for an educated professor to marry a poor loatian girl, especially when he cant speak the lingo.

and then he told us that its all good and he's very happy.

anyway thats the way i read his post.

i must of confused tots as well, as he had a crack

dont worry tots as all is forgiven.

and lay of the turps for a while maddy as it makes you confused.

[swain]

Another boringly happy relationship... three years ..baby due in 8 weeks... I learned alot from a book called Thailand Fever ... one page is written it thai and the same page is translated in English... HIT IT RIGHT ON THE HEAD.... We were both running back and forth showing each other a page... so we could understand what the other was feeling... I have to say with out this book... I WOULD NOT have understood... and it would have only been a matter of time before the relationship was over...

READ IT... when you first get involved.

[Begbie]

Why is a 37 year old Farang marrying a 37 year old Thai?

This marriage was doomed from the start.

[markr]

Why is a 37 year old Farang marrying a 37 year old Thai?

This marriage was doomed from the start.

What makes you say that??

Mark

[Temporaneo]

Now she complains about how so many others can afford this or that. According to her the tsunami,bird flu and any other bad thing that happened was my fault. By the way, her family always takes my side of any argument. Her mother and brother tell me she acts this way because I do not beat her.

Mother and brother are probably right.

[mikethevigoman]

I met my Laotian wife 5 years ago in Laos

its the country girl "professor" story.

she never saw a train in her life

I never saw so much poverty in my life

for one reason or another............we started to fall in love with oneanother.

she doesnt speak english

I didnt speak lao

Now we are legaly married.

We recieved Gods greatest gift to menkind....our son.

Now we live together as a family should do in Thailand

we speak Thai only, my son attend a Thai school

we eat Thai-Lao food....have our moments of "misunderstanding" but 1 thing is clear...as time went by and we were willing to learn more and more of oneanother life has been good to us.

hgma

My Thai wife and I could not be happier

4 years and going strong.

I love her, and her whole family.

I was truly blessed the day I met her.

thats a very nice story and respect to you and your wife, but unfortunatly it is not the norm.

but i hope you continue to be happy as thats all thats important.

Two guys that are happily married is not the norm?

3.Dont forget me !

[Jet Gorgon]

Why is a 37 year old Farang marrying a 37 year old Thai?

This marriage was doomed from the start.

Begbie, you're barking at the wrong door. Go back to your trolling grounds.

[terry57]

I've been in Thailand 6 years now and I've watched as all my friends who marry Thais get shafted one by one. Just heard about this recent situation. It was an office girl he had met on the internet (37), him 37. It lasted 2 years and they had a child together. After they were married, he ran into a cash crunch and this triggered the demise. The guy in question is a super nice, understanding and generous guy. I'm sure she expected more "resources" from him and was sadly disappointed, although I'm quite sure she cleaned his clock early on.

So I add this to the other similar stories I have witnessed by close acquaintances: There were 2 that involved 4 million baht house purchases and lasted less than a year. One was a bank teller and the other a clerk. There was a 3rd who had a child but ran short of cash so was abandoned. Word to the wise is be careful out there. This looks like a broken record. You won't see the professor going down this sad road. I feel for all my close friends who have been burned

well here is another one to add to the list of sad stories about ended marriages = wont go into mine but the same situation = also know a guy = white Sth Africian who moved here to set up farm import business - met a lady - married had a kid and hoped to live happily ever after --- he least premisies on a busy road here to start business. She was not happy so the moved to Sth A and started a good restaurant business there - no good - too cold for her - move back to bkk - back in the land of smiles -- bought house for around 8 m baht ---- top of the range car - all in her name of course --- and had to return to his old country for 3 months - returned = went to his house - she was not there but his child was = but her family from up country had moved in -- they told him he could stay in the back room - reserved for the servents -- and they did not know where she was -- car also gone - next day went to police and with the help of his local bank manger = police managed to find car parked few blocks from the house -- and OF COURSE -the joint bank account cleaned out to the tune of around 10 m bt - he is now too scared to drive the car anywhere for fear of someone snatching it -- but he has no recourse about this - house car and bank account in her name == he is now working as a teacher ---- sad sad story - saved all his live working hard in mining in south africa and comes here and ripped off -= same ole story = ok there are a few happy couples out there but the majority it seems end up like this -- the walking ATM syndrome

for a guy who is suppost to be intelligent ( you would think he was, considering he had the brains to amass money ) he sure did some real dumb ass stuff.

why would anyone place there future in such an unsecure manner ?

please dont tell me because he was in love because thats a piss poor excuse.

most punters reading that would have little sympathy for this guy because of his stupidity.

dont mean to offend you but its a crazy story.

[sunshine13]

i dont know what percent of farang are with former bar girls, but it has to be atleast 1/4, and probably closer to 1/2.

[jasreeve17]

i dont know what percent of farang are with former bar girls, but it has to be atleast 1/4, and probably closer to 1/2.

You are being very kind with those numbers Sunshine13.

[Begbie]

Why is a 37 year old Farang marrying a 37 year old Thai?

This marriage was doomed from the start.

What makes you say that??

Mark

It is Asian culture for the man to be older, sometimes much older than the woman. Most Asian girls I know over 30 wont talk to me because they know I couldn't possibly be serious with them because they know I have my pick of any amount of beautiful 20-somethings.

They would view a man in his 30s dating a woman in her 30s as a little stupid or they would know that soon enough he is going to get himself a younger woman, so the 37 year old Thai knows she has a limited time to milk this guy for all he's worth before it's too late.

Glad to have been of some help.

Edited April 15, 2007 by Begbie

[mikethevigoman]

I've been in Thailand 6 years now and I've watched as all my friends who marry Thais get shafted one by one. Just heard about this recent situation. It was an office girl he had met on the internet (37), him 37. It lasted 2 years and they had a child together. After they were married, he ran into a cash crunch and this triggered the demise. The guy in question is a super nice, understanding and generous guy. I'm sure she expected more "resources" from him and was sadly disappointed, although I'm quite sure she cleaned his clock early on.

So I add this to the other similar stories I have witnessed by close acquaintances: There were 2 that involved 4 million baht house purchases and lasted less than a year. One was a bank teller and the other a clerk. There was a 3rd who had a child but ran short of cash so was abandoned. Word to the wise is be careful out there. This looks like a broken record. You won't see the professor going down this sad road. I feel for all my close friends who have been burned

well here is another one to add to the list of sad stories about ended marriages = wont go into mine but the same situation = also know a guy = white Sth Africian who moved here to set up farm import business - met a lady - married had a kid and hoped to live happily ever after --- he least premisies on a busy road here to start business. She was not happy so the moved to Sth A and started a good restaurant business there - no good - too cold for her - move back to bkk - back in the land of smiles -- bought house for around 8 m baht ---- top of the range car - all in her name of course --- and had to return to his old country for 3 months - returned = went to his house - she was not there but his child was = but her family from up country had moved in -- they told him he could stay in the back room - reserved for the servents -- and they did not know where she was -- car also gone - next day went to police and with the help of his local bank manger = police managed to find car parked few blocks from the house -- and OF COURSE -the joint bank account cleaned out to the tune of around 10 m bt - he is now too scared to drive the car anywhere for fear of someone snatching it -- but he has no recourse about this - house car and bank account in her name == he is now working as a teacher ---- sad sad story - saved all his live working hard in mining in south africa and comes here and ripped off -= same ole story = ok there are a few happy couples out there but the majority it seems end up like this -- the walking ATM syndrome

for a guy who is suppost to be intelligent ( you would think he was, considering he had the brains to amass money ) he sure did some real dumb ass stuff.

why would anyone place there future in such an unsecure manner ?

please dont tell me because he was in love because thats a piss poor excuse.

most punters reading that would have little sympathy for this guy because of his stupidity.

dont mean to offend you but its a crazy story.

Never had a joint bank account, never will !

[Maigo6]

dont mean to offend you but its a crazy story.

I would go as far to say, it's unbelievable.

[mikethevigoman]

Another word to the wise... just because the norm seems to be foreigners marrying prostitutes/former prostitutes... does NOT mean a girl who is not in the same profession is automatically a "good girl."

Farang men marrying prostitutes is far from "the norm".

Not in pattaya its not !

[terry57]

Another boringly happy relationship... three years ..baby due in 8 weeks... I learned alot from a book called Thailand Fever ... one page is written it thai and the same page is translated in English... HIT IT RIGHT ON THE HEAD.... We were both running back and forth showing each other a page... so we could understand what the other was feeling... I have to say with out this book... I WOULD NOT have understood... and it would have only been a matter of time before the relationship was over...

READ IT... when you first get involved.

i have read that book and it should be mandatory for all thai /farang relationships, as it tells it like it is.

trouble is many falang would not be prepared to marry after reading exactly how complicated a union can be.

anyway mate ,

i salute you, as id rather read about sucessful relationships like yours than the failures.

thank you very much and good luck.

[terry57]

i dont know what percent of farang are with former bar girls, but it has to be atleast 1/4, and probably closer to 1/2.

well to be strait up mate ,

you would never know, and your figures are assumption and mean nothing.

its like asking, " how long is a piece of string." ?

is it a quarter of an inch long or is it half.?

[mikethevigoman]

thats a very nice story and respect to you and your wife, but unfortunatly it is not the norm.

Two guys that are happily married is not the norm?

What a rediculous thing to say terry !

The truth is that we only hear about the relationships that have turned bad, this is why it seems (to the uneducated outsider) that farang/thai marriages or relationships always fail in bitter circumstances, and where we only normally hear the totally unbiased view of the hard done by farang, who is always without fail not at fault.

totster

atleast three different guys in three different bars told him thai girls dont mind if you have a mia noi!

Three different guys in three different bars? Obviously unimpeachable sources of information.

jeez, i can just picture the scene !,.no wonder these guys get into trouble

[terry57]

Why is a 37 year old Farang marrying a 37 year old Thai?

This marriage was doomed from the start.

What makes you say that??

Mark

It is Asian culture for the man to be older, sometimes much older than the woman. Most Asian girls I know over 30 wont talk to me because they know I couldn't possibly be serious with them because they know I have my pick of any amount of beautiful 20-somethings.

They would view a man in his 30s dating a woman in her 30s as a little stupid or they would know that soon enough he is going to get himself a younger woman, so the 37 year old Thai knows she has a limited time to milk this guy for all he's worth before it's too late.

Glad to have been of some help.

is that a given fact begbie?

im learning some more things here and only asking the question.

so if im 49 what is my age range for hunting out a wife if i was looking for one.?

thank you very much.

[Begbie]

i dont know what percent of farang are with former bar girls, but it has to be atleast 1/4, and probably closer to 1/2.

well to be strait up mate ,

you would never know, and your figures are assumption and mean nothing.

its like asking, " how long is a piece of string." ?

is it a quarter of an inch long or is it half.?

It would be way more than half. How many farang do you know have a non-bg wife?

Ask them how they met their wife. A classic line is that she was in a bar but she wasn't a bg.