Having a baby and pregnancy at older age

[AndyAndyAndy]

I'm 31 and my wife is 44. We're together ~8 years. I'm not really into babies, but I think it starts to be now or never.

For last ~6 months nothing happened. At Monday we went to a hospital. Doctor gave us some pills, we're suppose to come back next month. She also told us about some 20k and 200k procedures if nature/pills don't do it.

Anybody knows anything about any of this/pregnancy at older age?

[Matzzon]

My wife was 40 when we got our second daughter. However, never needed any pills or anything else. The only thing I´ve heard about and that they made tests for, was to se that the baby was healthy. Also tests regarding the risk of the baby being born with cp-issues. Apparently they can make an assumption how big percentual risk it is that the baby will be born with defects regarding brain function.

Anyway, everything went fine. Actually. 44 years old is not that much of an issue to go trough a pregnancy. It´s just that they have a norm here that you are old already over 30-35 year. There are always risks, but I saw many women a couple of years older than my wife at the clinic we went too, and never heard any problems. The risks are always there, but mostly all works fine. 

Wish you good luck, and a fun time trying. ???? 

[AndyAndyAndy]

2 minutes ago, Matzzon said:

My wife was 40 when we got our second daughter. However, never needed any pills or anything else. The only thing I´ve heard about and that they made tests for, was to se that the baby was healthy. Also tests regarding the risk of the baby being born with cp-issues. Apparently they can make an assumption how big percentual risk it is that the baby will be born with defects regarding brain function.

Anyway, everything went fine. Actually. 44 years old is not that much of an issue to go trough a pregnancy. It´s just that they have a norm here that you are old already over 30-35 year. There are always risks, but I saw many women a couple of years older than my wife at the clinic we went too, and never heard any problems. The risks are always there, but mostly all works fine. 

Wish you good luck, and a fun time trying. ???? 

Yes, doctor mentioned some risks. Especially down syndrome, which she said is like 2% chance at this age. I didn't ask. But would it be legal to abort in case of some problem with baby was detected?

[blackcab]

Quote

5) How are fetuses affected by later maternal age?

 

One of the most well-known risks of later maternal age is the incidence of certain types of fetal anomaly, in particular Down's, Edwards' and Patau syndrome – or trisomies 21, 18 and 13. Over half of babies with Down's syndrome are born to mothers who are under 35. However, the overall risk for women having a baby at the age of 40 remains relatively low – 99 out of 100 women will not have a pregnancy affected by Down's syndrome. With Down's syndrome, the age breakdown is:

 

25 years of age has a risk of 1 in 1,250

30 years of age has a risk of 1 in 1,000

35 years of age has a risk of 1 in 400

40 years of age has a risk of 1 in 100

45 years of age has a risk of 1 in 30

 

Even if they have not undergone fertility treatment, older women are also naturally more likely to have twins or triplets, which as well as having a higher risk of congenital anomalies (around 5% more common in multiple pregnancies than in singleton pregnancies), are also at risk of growth restriction and preterm birth, which in turn is associated with other complications such as cerebral palsy and learning difficulties. Multiple pregnancy is also associated with higher risks for the mother. Women carrying more than one baby have an increased risk of anaemia, hypertensive disorders, haemorrhage and postnatal illness. In general, maternal mortality associated with multiple births is 2.5 times that for singleton births.

 

https://www.bpas.org/get-involved/campaigns/briefings/older-mothers/

 

One thing to think about are fetal abnormalities. Perhaps you need to talk about this with your wife. For example, if your wife was pregnant and you were informed the fetus had down syndrome, would your wife want to keep the child? Would you?

 

It's probably best if you are both on the same page about this as you are talking about a situation that would alter your life and your relationship forever.

[AndyAndyAndy]

6 minutes ago, blackcab said:

 

https://www.bpas.org/get-involved/campaigns/briefings/older-mothers/

 

One thing to think about are fetal abnormalities. Perhaps you need to talk about this with your wife. For example, if your wife was pregnant and you were informed the fetus had down syndrome, would your wife want to keep the child? Would you?

 

It's probably best if you are both on the same page about this as you are talking about a situation that would alter your life and your relationship forever.

We're both pro-abortion. Question is, if it's legal in Thailand...?

 

However I would like to aim our focus on having a baby at this time. Of course there are risks, but that's for a later discussion.

[Swiss1960]

@AndyAndyAndy: did the doctor do ANY test at all before giving you the pills? First thing coming to my mind is sperm quantity and quality... what are the pills supposed to improve?

[blackcab]

An off topic post has been removed.

[AndyAndyAndy]

2 minutes ago, Swiss1960 said:

@AndyAndyAndy: did the doctor do ANY test at all before giving you the pills? First thing coming to my mind is sperm quantity and quality... what are the pills supposed to improve?

 Visit was targeted at my wife. She got full exam, ultra sound etc. And pills are also for her.

[Swiss1960]

6 minutes ago, AndyAndyAndy said:

 Visit was targeted at my wife. She got full exam, ultra sound etc. And pills are also for her.

Did she get full bloodwork for her hormonal levels? Are the pills hormones?

[tonray]

1 hour ago, AndyAndyAndy said:

I'm not really into babies

Then why are you trying to have a baby ?

Edited May 20, 2020 by tonray

[4MyEgo]

I won't put my input in on this as it is between the two of you, however if you haven't "both" been tested for Thalaseemia, then I suggest you do, also ask each other what health issues both sides of your families have because we are all made up of genetic material, so both sides of the genes will be passed onto your kids.

 

Get ready for a life changer, have 5 of my own ????

 

[4MyEgo]

5 minutes ago, tonray said:

Then why are you trying to have a baby ?

Because she loves him.

[AndyAndyAndy]

15 minutes ago, Swiss1960 said:

Did she get full bloodwork for her hormonal levels? Are the pills hormones?

No bloodwork. Clomid (Clomiphene).

[Swiss1960]

26 minutes ago, AndyAndyAndy said:

No bloodwork. Clomid (Clomiphene).

So your girl gets chemicals to encourage/ enforce ovulation without any tests about hormone levels, without checking about your fertility / sperm... just take an easy way assuming it's her fault anyway... I would be one unhappy customer with that doc, if it was my girl... 

[Sheryl]

1 hour ago, AndyAndyAndy said:

Yes, doctor mentioned some risks. Especially down syndrome, which she said is like 2% chance at this age. I didn't ask. But would it be legal to abort in case of some problem with baby was detected?

Yes. But be forewarned that these abnormalities might nto be detectable until second trimester and aborting that far along can be quite traumatic.

 

What the doctor was referring to was infertility treatments, in vitro fertilization and the like. Expensive and a lot to go through, physically, emotionally and financially. You don't sound all that keen on parenthood as it is, you might not want to go down that route and rather leave it to nature to decide whether you become parents or not. Something to discuss with your wife.

 

The fact that is is "now or never" is not, IMO, a good reason to conceive a child....especially since you apparently did not desire to do so in the past 8 years.

[BritManToo]

2 hours ago, AndyAndyAndy said:

I'm 31 and my wife is 44.

The chances of your wife conceiving at 44 years old, are so near zero, it isn't worth you worrying about the baby.

 

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3663972/

Success rates for women aged 40 or over with clomiphene, IUI, IUI with FSH are all extremely low, at less than 1 % live birth per cycle. However, IVF offers a success rate of around 13.7 % per cycle.

 

Conclusion

An exploration of the effectiveness of available treatment options for older infertile women using their own gametes suggests that IVF offers the best prospects of success (13.7%). Attempting treatments other than IVF will delay conception unnecessarily.

Edited May 20, 2020 by BritManToo

[BritManToo]

41 minutes ago, 4MyEgo said:

I won't put my input in on this as it is between the two of you, however if you haven't "both" been tested for Thalaseemia,

White people don't have Thalasemia, so no point in testing him for it.

[blackcab]

2 hours ago, AndyAndyAndy said:

We're both pro-abortion. Question is, if it's legal in Thailand...?

 

Yes, but only in certain circumstances. The Thai Criminal Code Section 305 states:

 

If the offences in Section 301 and 302 are performed by a medical doctor and are necessary for the mental or physical health of the woman or if the woman became pregnant due to the breaking of Section 276, 277, 282, 283 or 284 of the Criminal Code [covering sexual assaults and rape], the person will not be held accountable.

 

In effect, this would mean that your wife would have to convince a doctor that her mental health was in sufficient danger that an abortion would be the preferred outcome.

[4MyEgo]

1 hour ago, BritManToo said:

White people don't have Thalasemia, so no point in testing him for it.

Hmm, maybe he black.

 

There is a song that does say: I don't care what the white say, Santa Clause he a blackman yeh.

[BritManToo]

5 minutes ago, 4MyEgo said:

Hmm, maybe he black.

There is a song that does say: I don't care what the white say, Santa Clause he a blackman yeh.

Black people don't have Thalassemia either, it's a genetic defect limited to (SE?) Asia.

Every time two genetically damaged people breed together it gets worse in the child.

Every time 1 damaged, 1 undamaged breed together it gets less in the child.

[Lacessit]

Bear in mind a Downs' syndrome child is a life sentence for the parents. i would not wish it on anyone.

[OneMoreFarang]

4 hours ago, AndyAndyAndy said:

I'm not really into babies, but I think it starts to be now or never.

Have you really thought this through?

Or do you think you want to do this because she wants it?

It seems too many people have babies because they somehow think that everybody has babies and that the way it should be. Personally I think if you both enthusiastically want babies then go ahead. Otherwise don't!

[Tony125]

4 hours ago, AndyAndyAndy said:

Yes, doctor mentioned some risks. Especially down syndrome, which she said is like 2% chance at this age. I didn't ask. But would it be legal to abort in case of some problem with baby was detected?

https://www.healthline.com/health/womens-health/how-many-eggs-does-a-woman-have

[EVENKEEL]

3 hours ago, BritManToo said:

The chances of your wife conceiving at 44 years old, are so near zero, it isn't worth you worrying about the baby.

 

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3663972/

Success rates for women aged 40 or over with clomiphene, IUI, IUI with FSH are all extremely low, at less than 1 % live birth per cycle. However, IVF offers a success rate of around 13.7 % per cycle.

 

Conclusion

An exploration of the effectiveness of available treatment options for older infertile women using their own gametes suggests that IVF offers the best prospects of success (13.7%). Attempting treatments other than IVF will delay conception unnecessarily.

My mother was 44 and my father was 54, so I'd say your advice is BS.

[4MyEgo]

2 hours ago, BritManToo said:

Black people don't have Thalassemia either, it's a genetic defect limited to (SE?) Asia.

Every time two genetically damaged people breed together it gets worse in the child.

Every time 1 damaged, 1 undamaged breed together it gets less in the child.

Technically speaking you are correct, however, have you heard of Beta Thalassemia, this does affect black people.

[NancyL]

Having been through years of fertility treatments, including many cycles of IVF, I'd second BritManToo's suggestion of going straight for IVF if you have the financial means.  We messed around too long with clomid and a couple of miscarriages before IVF and then discovering the miscarriage problem was really serious.  The IVF doctor was good at getting me pregnant but not good at keeping me pregnant.  

[allanos]

My daughter went through in vitro for her first child, at around age 40. The IVF was a success, in a sense, as she carried twins to term, but one child developed outside the uterus and was not viable.  Heart-breaking for us all.  Her second child came along 3 years later, was carried normally through to birth, and was, and is, a beautiful little girl.

[richard_smith237]

5 minutes ago, NancyL said:

Having been through years of fertility treatments, including many cycles of IVF, I'd second BritManToo's suggestion of going straight for IVF if you have the financial means.  We messed around too long with clomid and a couple of miscarriages before IVF and then discovering the miscarriage problem was really serious.  The IVF doctor was good at getting me pregnant but not good at keeping me pregnant.  

That must be very tough.

 

In answer to the ops questions:

 

Dr Somjate at Jetanin (Bangkok - Chit Lom).

The Op could even consider bypassing the conventional IVF route and going straight for ICSI (Intracytoplasmic sperm injection) which has better odds than IVF alone.

 

Costs of ICSI (from start to finish) was about THB: 330,000 (not including delivery).

Dr. Somjate also does the delivery and Bumrungrad.

 

http://www.jetanin.com/en/doctors/profile/4

http://www.jetanin.com/en/service/technology_detail/13

 

 

[khunPer]

4 hours ago, BritManToo said:

Black people don't have Thalassemia either, it's a genetic defect limited to (SE?) Asia.

Every time two genetically damaged people breed together it gets worse in the child.

Every time 1 damaged, 1 undamaged breed together it gets less in the child.

Are you sure?

Quote

As of 2015, thalassemia occurs in about 280 million people, with about 439,000 having severe disease.^[9] It is most common among people of Italian, Greek, Middle Eastern, South Asian, and African descent.^[7]

Source: Wikipedia.

 

Quote

People who have family members from certain parts of the world have a higher risk for having thalassemia. Traits for thalassemia are more common in people from Mediterranean countries, like Greece and Turkey, and in people from Asia, Africa, and the Middle East. If you have anemia and you also have family members from these areas, your doctor might test your blood further to find out if you have thalassemia.

Source: Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, USA gov.

[BritManToo]

1 hour ago, NancyL said:

Having been through years of fertility treatments, including many cycles of IVF, I'd second BritManToo's suggestion of going straight for IVF if you have the financial means.  We messed around too long with clomid and a couple of miscarriages before IVF and then discovering the miscarriage problem was really serious.  The IVF doctor was good at getting me pregnant but not good at keeping me pregnant.  

 

There' no button for me to choose.

I'm happy you agree with me (about IVF), but sad it didn't work out for you.