Having A 3 Years Old Daughter With An English Man -

[sbk]

Vasectomies carry significant health risks particularly vastly increased risk of prostate cancer. Somehow women who are usually so clued up about health matters never seem to know this...

This is not about men and their choices of not reproducing. Sheryl was merely rebutting the idea that it is all the OP's machinations.

You want to start a topic about vasectomies, please do so in the Health forum.

Back to the topic at hand, which is how the OP can get child support and citizenship for her child.

[Sheryl]

Thanks SBK

Altho it is off topic I wouldn’t want readers to be left with the impression that the statement about vasectomy & prostate cancer is correct. Actually studies have shown conflicting results and the connection to date is unproven. General scientific consensus is that a link has not been proven and if it exists it is of a very small magnitude. Those studies which did suggest a link showed something on the magnitude of a one and a half percent increase in risk. Other studies showed none at all. NO studies have shown a “vast” increased risk.

All this aside, the thread is as you say about what the OP can do in terms of securing her child's rights and welfare.

[gdhm]

i wouldn't like to say this ..

i am much much stronger than a normal thai women u have ever met .. may be .. that's how i see myself ..

i left me sinc i got pragnanted ..ok..and he moved in with a thai girl ..who he had an affaired with for almost 2 years .. ok

so .. don't tell me about .. i don't help myself ..

i run 4 shops for him while he stayed with that girl, and i have to be a happy mother for my baby in my belly.. DO U KNOW .. HOW HARD TO BECOME TO BE A HAPPY MOTHER IN THAT SITUATION !!??

...

and after we sprited up from 4 shops , he gave me 1 shop only !.. to run to make money for myself to live and FOR HIS OWN DAUGHTER !!..

AND NOW I EXPAND 1 MORE SHOP .. SO I HAVE 2 SHOPS NOW ..

....

and i can tell u , what 's differrent is .. I DONN'T LIKE TO SUCK MONEY OUT FROM ANY MEN THAT COME IN MY LIFE !

BECAUSE ..TO BE HONEST ..

I THINK .. I AM A VERY AND VERY COOL WOMEN !!..

I HAVE A VERY HIGH SELF ESTEAM AND I KNOW THAT I AM INTELLEGENT TO MAKE MONEY TO SURVIVE..

..BUT TODAY ..

I AM HERE ..

TO ASK FOR THE RIGHT ..FOR MY DAUGHTER AND FOR HIS OWN DAUGHTER ..

THAT'S ALL I WANT.. !!

...

..have a wonderfull day to u guys ..

..thaigigi..

Hi Thaigigi,

Firstly as a British Man I feel sorry that certain persons pressurised you into feeling it necessary to explain your reasoning and timings. One or two ladies have said they fully understand where you are coming from and I wish to confirm that MOST reasonable men do TOO (including us Brits).

My Thai wife has had a similar sort of experience as yourself ) also at the hands of a Brit regretfully - same forename as myself to make matters worse).

We have a 4 year old child (his biological father was English and showed responsibility AT first. Soon after the birth of his son he said he was being chased by his Ex girlfriend for maintenance for his first child in England (he lived in the UK not Thailand). He said he could not afford to help with both children and sorry, but my wife was on her own.

Of course it took 2 to tango (and my wife recognises this) but my wife was a 37 year old virgin who fell head over heals with this man and became pregnant (he returned to UK). My wife was given the opportunity to have an abortion due to complications. In fact the doctors recommended that she did have one. My wife refused to terminate her child and had to have an emergency Cesarean at time of delivery.

Like Thiagigi, my wife also is not a user (and never will be). She accepted what the biological father said and asked nothing of him for 2.5 years until she was seriously in debt trying to keep a low paid job and provide for her child. Even then, she ONLY asked for a little help for the sake of their child, IF he was in position to help. He did not reply. Well not for another 5 months that is. When I was about to marry my wife she did get an email from him saying saying and I quote " I love you and xxxx very much".

I met and courted my wife quite quickly and now have been married to my wife exactly a year today 20th May. The biological father of my stepson is completely off the scene and has abandoned my stepson (his name by the way IS on the birth certificate). I have been happy to consider my stepson as my own son from the start and I require and want nothing from his biological father (not does my wife)

Coming back to Thaigigi. At at the end of the day, whatever reason is the trigger for a mother to ask the biological father for help or financial help in raising his OWN son, IT IS FAIR and reasonable to do so as he has 50% responsibility for his own child right from the beginning. Most countries of the World would say he has legal responsibilities for his own child. Most decent men would not have had to been asked to do their bit for their own child.

Thaigigi sounds like a nice and reasonable lady but anyway she has a 100% right to expect the biological father to help take financial responsibility for his biological son at any time during that child's childhood until it becomes an adult. The father should think himself fortunate that Thaigigi has not chased him before, and that as the child lives in Thailand the father's financial responsibilities will be less than had he lived in the UK.

Good luck Thaigigi.

Oh by the way I would hate it (so would my wife) if my stepson's biological dad suddenly recognised his son exists and tried to muscle in to our lives after 4 years of NO interest. I appreciate a child's parents are very important, but IMHO my stepson is better off without the sort of biological father he has. I only hope he will be a better father to his "born in England" son than he has been to his "born in Thailand" son and a better than than he was to my wife who loved him very much at the time and trusted him despite knowing him to be very poor and out of work for a period.

Hopefully my stepson will never feel the loss of his biological dad and that I am up to the job as substitute. I certainly love my stepson as if he were my own blood.

Regards, Dave

[britmaveric]

I think gigi's not too interested - this was more about flogging her business. Any rate interesting info for those in similar circumstances.

[caster]

Hello Ladie - I am new to this Forum, but I got recommended, that I might find some Advices or helpfull Tips for my present Situation :

I have a 3 years old Daughter with an English Man, but till now, I did not get ant financial Support from him.

This English Man lives here in Thailand most of the Time, but goes back to England every 2 or 3 Months a Year.

What Rights do my Daughter have here in Thailand - and in England?

How I can make this English Man supporting my Daughter?

Are thre any Laws in England for such a Case?

And the worst Thing now, he wants to have "half" of her ( taking my Daughter on his Name, without paying me any Money, what I have spent to rise my Daughter in the last 3 Years )!

I will appreciate any Suggestion, Help, Information or Tips .

Englishn laws and Australian laws are very similiar, If the mother tells the goverment,that the father is not paying child support, and if he's overseas, he will be allowed back in the country,but when he try's to leave, a alert will come up on his passport,and he wont be allowed to leave Australia,until child support is payed.

[DrFisher]

Have you gone to or asked the British embassy? That may be a good place to start.

[Momo8]

The main problem is that the father's name is NOT on the child's birth certificate.UK and Australian laws are quite similar you can apply for a "Citizenship by Descent" and get your daughter a passport.I would go to the UK embassy first and foremost getting the child citizenship then chasing the child support.

It will be a very time consuming and expensive exercise chasing this man for money he can simply 'disappear' and if he doesn't want to support you emotionally and financially it's going to be really hard to make him do it.

Get DNA,get the child a passport and the rest will be easier.What do you know about the man's family in England? Can you not appeal to them through a lawyer? Definitely go to the embassy and get some advice and they can also put you in touch with lawyers.

[MTW]

To the people on this thread who say "it takes two to tango" therefore the man must be responsible for any child produced, how would those women posters out there feel IF you got pregnant, decided to have an abortion, but the man, who is no longer part of your life, and not your husband, got to decide that NO, you cannot abort this baby, you must have it?

All of us, I am sure, have been irresponsible at one time or another. Who is at fault? How do you know that the woman didn't say she was on birth control when she was not? Men can not tell this lie, at least in regards to a condom. However, maybe the man said he would "pull out" and didn't. Then the woman would not be at fault (although that is not a proven method of BC). But courts cannot consider all these possibilites because in reality nobody can prove them.

What do you think the man's responsibility should be when he has sex with a hooker? Do you think those men are taking on the same responsibilites as a married man who accidentally gets his wife pregnant? I mean you have to be able to draw the line somewhere. Where? Well, traditionally it has been marriage.

Thai law doesn't seem to give farangs many rights here, or maybe none at all. But maybe this same lack of protection offers a lack of responsibility. Maybe this isn't correct, but I don't see why a woman would expect the laws of a nation she has no legal ties with to protect her. Are the same laws in the UK okay to use to take custody away from her? If she drives a motorbike without a helmet for the kid, should/can the UK come and take the kid from her?

The Thai woman poster did not tell us a sad story of how she was asked/tricked to have a baby, promised many things, and yet the guy fled the scene. The only rationale for child-support between unmarried couples is that it is better for the child. And better for governments who pay welfare benefits to get the man to pay when they can. Thailand doesn't pay any benefits, therefore one reason why Thailand might not have the same laws as Western countries.

As a citizen of the UK, how would woman feel who had children from Iranian men, if the law from Iran would be applied to their children, even though they never married the father, had never been to Iran, left the father's name off the birth certificate?

You can't just decide to apply the laws when it is convenient for you, and the rest of the time, to ignore them.

[gdhm]

To the people on this thread who say "it takes two to tango" therefore the man must be responsible for any child produced, how would those women posters out there feel IF you got pregnant, decided to have an abortion, but the man, who is no longer part of your life, and not your husband, got to decide that NO, you cannot abort this baby, you must have it?

All of us, I am sure, have been irresponsible at one time or another. Who is at fault? How do you know that the woman didn't say she was on birth control when she was not? Men can not tell this lie, at least in regards to a condom. However, maybe the man said he would "pull out" and didn't. Then the woman would not be at fault (although that is not a proven method of BC). But courts cannot consider all these possibilites because in reality nobody can prove them.

What do you think the man's responsibility should be when he has sex with a hooker? Do you think those men are taking on the same responsibilites as a married man who accidentally gets his wife pregnant? I mean you have to be able to draw the line somewhere. Where? Well, traditionally it has been marriage.

Thai law doesn't seem to give farangs many rights here, or maybe none at all. But maybe this same lack of protection offers a lack of responsibility. Maybe this isn't correct, but I don't see why a woman would expect the laws of a nation she has no legal ties with to protect her. Are the same laws in the UK okay to use to take custody away from her? If she drives a motorbike without a helmet for the kid, should/can the UK come and take the kid from her?

The Thai woman poster did not tell us a sad story of how she was asked/tricked to have a baby, promised many things, and yet the guy fled the scene. The only rationale for child-support between unmarried couples is that it is better for the child. And better for governments who pay welfare benefits to get the man to pay when they can. Thailand doesn't pay any benefits, therefore one reason why Thailand might not have the same laws as Western countries.

As a citizen of the UK, how would woman feel who had children from Iranian men, if the law from Iran would be applied to their children, even though they never married the father, had never been to Iran, left the father's name off the birth certificate?

You can't just decide to apply the laws when it is convenient for you, and the rest of the time, to ignore them.

Hi,

I'm not sure that it is possible in many countries in the West for a man to stop a woman having an abortion if she so chooses, and if abortions are a legal option. But I am not legal expert.

With regard to your many other comments, there are some valid an interesting points of view.

Personally speaking . Short of breakage, if a man wants to be sure he cannot have a baby in error (whatever the circumstance) he has the option to use a condom (or have a vasectomy) . If he does not then he (IMHO) is accepting the possibility of fatherhood and taking a risk. A woman has the added option of the Pill.

I think it is well known that not all women can be trusted to be take the pill in all situations. I was told only yesterday that Thai lady is planning to come off the pill coz her husband of 3 years is not ready to have a child BUT she wants one. This I consider a breach of trust, incorrect and deception but we all know these things happen in life.

Your comments regarding going with a prostitute and her becoming pregnant and a man's obligations.

Well IMHO if a man is stupid enough to risk unprotected sex with the known HIV/AIDs rates within prostitution circles, then personally I do not have too much sympathy if he finds himself with responsibilities for any offspring.

The risk a man takes having unprotected sex with prostitutes for himself, others if he has future sexual relations AND in some case for unknowing wives and girlfriends back home does not make me feel too much sympathy for such reckless persons.

But I feel an important point is being overlooked:

At the end of the day maintenance and/or responsibilities are NOT about what the Lady wants OR about what the man wants OR what a state/country motives are.

They are ONLY about for the wellbeing of an innocent child , that its biological parents brought into the world and they BOTH owe their son/daughter their protection until it is adult and able to fend for itself.

Men and woman MUST to take responsibility FOR THEMSELVES. If either do not wish to risk a child then they BOTH have the means to ensure they do not have a child - There seems to me to be NO EXCUSE. What a man or woman thinks about the risk is not important. The solution is very easy - ensure a condom is always used if you do not want to worry about babies and responsibilities.

If entrapment is involved then that is morally unforgivable, but that cannot happen if a condom is used at all times.

Just My Humble Opinion on a difficult subject which is seldom black and white.

But some things are "The protection of a biological child by its parent" irrespective of the circumstances or understanding it was conceived.

As I said, Just My Humble Opinion

Kind regards,

Dave

[LaReina]

I beg to differ. A woman has more options than the pill. She can outright refuse to have sex. She can use the pill, and she can insist on a condom. A woman who gets pregnant is equally as responsible as the man.

And when in doubt, get married, and have the law on your side. If you want to have a kid out of wedlock due to carelessness, then you should accept the burden 100%. It is a woman’s choice.

If I am pregnant and I want to abort, you can rest assured, that no man, especially one that I am not married to can have the courts stop the abortion. The ruling will be, it is my body, and thus mine to decide what I do with it. The only way the courts will intervene is if the fetus is at a stage where it/he/she can be considered a human being.

MTW has several valid points in my opinion.

Citizenship for the child I can see. But in reality, for the sake of argument if the two of them were together, just how much extra money would be spent on this child?

You have a roof over your head, you eat they eat they have a bed. If the couple where living together, what would be different? Other than he might help with the shops, and spend some of the income coming in from the shops.. so in reality without him, she makes more anyway.

If you are talking about having a father figure or influence in the child’s life then that is a different story. But as it is, children from single parent homes turn out just as well as ones in two parent ones.

Edited May 27, 2007 by LaReina

[gdhm]

I beg to differ. A woman has more options than the pill. She can outright refuse to have sex. She can use the pill, and she can insist on a condom. A woman who gets pregnant is equally as responsible as the man.....

Yes thanks LaReina, you are of course 100% correct. I thank you for pointing out my omission.

Refusal, applies equally to men of course (assuming the man's brain and will power is NOT below his belt at the time) .

Regards, Dave

[Fun2Fun]

What does he do for living?

All most English man lives in Thailand because it is cheap and treat Thai lady in worst. He doesn't want to go work and pay tax to Brit. so that he just hide his income. It is same as my boyfriend do.

As i read your topic, so that i will decide to cancel our relationship.

I wish you will get someone to guide you soon.

Avoiding Uk Income Tax, Anyone regularly do this ?

:D

[Thumchok]

Lareina , if only more women thought like this . But sadly you are a minority , and our laws back home will support the mothers rights more than the fathers .

I have quite in depth experiences in this subject , hence my not posting earlier .

But the fact is the child needs all the help that he/she can get , no matter who's fault it was that it was conceived .

I would suggest approaching the father and asking for help in raising the child by paying for schooling , clothing , and food . Maybe allowing him to spend time with his daughter in return .

Do a search on the net for CSA UK and you will find out the entitlements you could go for if going through the courts if in fact he is the father . Not That I doubt you , but legally you will have to prove it .

Don't get me started on this subject as I have issues with it .

I beg to differ. A woman has more options than the pill. She can outright refuse to have sex. She can use the pill, and she can insist on a condom. A woman who gets pregnant is equally as responsible as the man.

And when in doubt, get married, and have the law on your side. If you want to have a kid out of wedlock due to carelessness, then you should accept the burden 100%. It is a woman’s choice.

If I am pregnant and I want to abort, you can rest assured, that no man, especially one that I am not married to can have the courts stop the abortion. The ruling will be, it is my body, and thus mine to decide what I do with it. The only way the courts will intervene is if the fetus is at a stage where it/he/she can be considered a human being.

MTW has several valid points in my opinion.

Citizenship for the child I can see. But in reality, for the sake of argument if the two of them were together, just how much extra money would be spent on this child?

You have a roof over your head, you eat they eat they have a bed. If the couple where living together, what would be different? Other than he might help with the shops, and spend some of the income coming in from the shops.. so in reality without him, she makes more anyway.

If you are talking about having a father figure or influence in the child’s life then that is a different story. But as it is, children from single parent homes turn out just as well as ones in two parent ones.

[John_Rambo]

Your comments regarding going with a prostitute and her becoming pregnant and a man's obligations.

Well IMHO if a man is stupid enough to risk unprotected sex with the known HIV/AIDs rates within prostitution circles, then personally I do not have too much sympathy if he finds himself with responsibilities for any offspring.

The risk a man takes having unprotected sex with prostitutes for himself, others if he has future sexual relations AND in some case for unknowing wives and girlfriends back home does not make me feel too much sympathy for such reckless persons.

The price a man pays in such a transaction absolves him of responsibility. If you're a prostitute, and your business is selling ****, you better make sure that you don't get pregnant. You're selling a particular service for a price. That price that is being paid already says that the guy wants nothing more to do with you, in most cases, and vice versa. If you accept that cash, then you're on your own.

To expect the guy to take the respnsibility for any mishaps that might occur would be almost as ridiculous as the guy turning round and sueing the pro for any health threatening illnesses he might of contracted. Everyone knows the score, take responsibility for your self.

Edited May 29, 2007 by sbk
offensive content deleted

[Momo8]

Yeah right Rambo and how many people have sued Macdonals successfully for getting food poisoning ? Read the original post before you slash and burn.A child is a child not a piece of meat and both parents regardless of occupation or status should be responsible.Even if you hit a dog in LOS you pay money and that poor kid deserves more than your er businesslike comments.Amywhere else and the system would take care of the matter but hey this is Thailand!

Edited May 29, 2007 by Momo8

[John_Rambo]

I've already read the OP, but was responding to a point raised in another post, which was quite clear from my quote. I'm sorry, but if you are offering that sort of service for cash, the buck stops with you, and i don't know anyone who would see it any differently, including it would seem some of the women on this thread. Part of that payment is for the absolution of responsibility. Of course a child is a child, but i think it's quite obvious that when that childs mother is entertaining countless numbers of blokes, the majority of whom she will never lay eyes on again, that she is the one charged with that responsibility, and she's already charging a price for taking that responsibility on. It's part of her service that the encounter is no strings attached, in any way. Do you think the guy responsible is going to be around to be any sort of a father? Of course not! All children deserve two loving parents who care for them, but that is not a reality in that situation, is it? If she gets pregnant and doesn't want the child, then she can use that money she has charged to have an abortion. If she wants to keep the child, then it's her responsibility.

There are plenty of prostitutes who are fully aware that they have HIV, but choose not to disclose their status. In many countries, to sleep with someone and infect them, without being up front about your status is a criminal action which can result in you serving a serious amount of time. But frankly, i would find a guy looking to prosecute in that situation simply absurd. He has the responsibility to himself to ensure that doesn't happen. Not really sure what your comment about Mcdonalds is about i'm afraid.

Try thinking Momo, i know you can do better than this.

Edited May 29, 2007 by John_Rambo

[gdhm]

I've already read the OP, but was responding to a point raised in another post, which was quite clear from my quote. I'm sorry, but if you are offering that sort of service for cash, the buck stops with you, and i don't know anyone who would see it any differently, including it would seem some of the women on this thread. Part of that payment is for the absolution of responsibility. Of course a child is a child, but i think it's quite obvious that when that child's mother is entertaining countless numbers of blokes, the majority of whom she will never lay eyes on again, that she is the one charged with that responsibility, and she's already charging a price for taking that responsibility on. It's part of her service that the encounter is no strings attached, in any way. Do you think the guy responsible is going to be around to be any sort of a father? Of course not! All children deserve two loving parents who care for them, but that is not a reality in that situation, is it? If she gets pregnant and doesn't want the child, then she can use that money she has charged to have an abortion. If she wants to keep the child, then it's her responsibility.

There are plenty of prostitutes who are fully aware that they have HIV, but choose not to disclose their status. In many countries, to sleep with someone and infect them, without being up front about your status is a criminal action which can result in you serving a serious amount of time. But frankly, i would find a guy looking to prosecute in that situation simply absurd. He has the responsibility to himself to ensure that doesn't happen. Not really sure what your comment about Mcdonalds is about i'm afraid.

Try thinking Momo, i know you can do better than this.

So can you Rambo with BOTH your last two postings.

I find the "its all the prostitutes fault and responsibility not the mans" attitude, absolutely incredible.

The primary point is, that the CHILD victim is the ONLY one "without any choice". If men choose not to wear condoms then they can hardly whinge if they get HIV nor can they whinge they have no responsibility if they produce a child WHO like it or not IS THEIRS as well as the prostitute. They get away with it because prostitutes are in no position to prove or chase the biological fathers AND in many cases the father are living in another country.

I have never been with a prostitute and will never do so, BUT I am sure they do not wish to become pregnant and I am CERTAIN they do not consider the pittance paid to them by Western men seeking cheap sex covers pregnancy and looking after a child until adulthood by themselves. Not to mention the girl loses clients whilst pregnant and then looking after the child.

I also understand that many men put pressure on the girls to not make them use a condom. The men ALL know what they are doing and they know what can result. Additionally, it is NOT only the prostitutes that pass on HIV or worse. What about the men who do not use condoms who get infected (not always form prostitutes but also from casual sex, and then go with many other prostitutes/girls (clean at the time) and then infect them (they in turn infect more men).

Of course the men will always say it is the woman who is doing the infecting NOT THEM.

Men are lucky they do not get pregnant and it seems you believe coz you do not, then its the girl responsibility if she becomes pregnant and you feel justified in your conscious by walking away (contract and responsibility completed).

What if the prostitute thinks the same as you and consider a man has paid only for sex not a baby that's how innocent babies get left in rubbish bins. Never mind the man's conscious is clean. carry on to the next bar-girl what's it matter if his biological child lives or dies. Are you really saying what is paid to Bar-girls for unprotected sex covers the risk of HIV, AIDS, pregnancy and child rearing - YOU ARE JOKING.

I DO however agree with you Rambo 100% that a person is criminal if having sex knowing they are HIV (man or woman) and worse if not ensuring a condom is used they are potential (likely) murderers.

Dave

Edited May 29, 2007 by gdhm

[0Mix1up]

This is not a reflection of the op situation and a child needs 2 parents

its sucks BT to see ongoing bias against men on this board.

[sbk]

absolutely, this is not the OP's situation and has no bearing on the problem.

and 0mixup, seems most of the posters lately are men.

[mpdkorat]

Just as an aside, I know a Thai woman whose husband left her and their son for another woman. She went to family court and has gotten child support out of him. He makes monthly payments, not much, but then he doesn't make much. But he does pay and the family court sided with her.

Also on the side. I know a thai woman who took a farang boyfriend to the family court and the court ordered the farang to make monthly support payments for thier child. He has property in in Thailand.

[walkon]

Just as an aside, I know a Thai woman whose husband left her and their son for another woman. She went to family court and has gotten child support out of him. He makes monthly payments, not much, but then he doesn't make much. But he does pay and the family court sided with her.

Also on the side. I know a thai woman who took a farang boyfriend to the family court and the court ordered the farang to make monthly support payments for thier child. He has property in in Thailand.

Did they get a DNA test?

[saliSa112]

Hello Ladie - I am new to this Forum, but I got recommended, that I might find some Advices or helpfull Tips for my present Situation :

I have a 3 years old Daughter with an English Man, but till now, I did not get ant financial Support from him.

This English Man lives here in Thailand most of the Time, but goes back to England every 2 or 3 Months a Year.

What Rights do my Daughter have here in Thailand - and in England?

How I can make this English Man supporting my Daughter?

Are thre any Laws in England for such a Case?

And the worst Thing now, he wants to have "half" of her ( taking my Daughter on his Name, without paying me any Money, what I have spent to rise my Daughter in the last 3 Years )!

I will appreciate any Suggestion, Help, Information or Tips .

[JimmyCA]

Sounds like a case of entrapment to me. Have a "rich" farange make baby for you and all your problems are solvd. It takes two to tango.

First mistake was going out with a Brit!!

Entrapment, surely that is at another stage in the proces, if that was the case at all.

Now the baby is there, it is a fact, and therefor his responsebility 50%, no matter how it came about, never mind about the mother but now there is a child without the support she is entitled to

It is really low and lousy to run from that. I hope the OP gets him

I wish you good luck.

The 50% responsibility depends entirely on the father, if he wants to be involved he can be, if he does not it is not up to others to critize him. True, there may be some laws which he must comply with but he has no obligation to the child if he is not interested no matter what YOU or I may think.

The same applies (in reverse) if the woman wants to abort and the guy objects - he has no say.

Use a condom

[Daewoo]

Khun GiGi...........my wife is a family law lawyer ( ok guys, not the best professional type woman to marry) PM me and maybe we can get in touch and help you out, it seems a simple situation if he is in fact the father

Khun Gigi...This is the only legal advice that you should take... armchair lawyers will only provide you with hearsay and opinion that supports the outcome they would like to see... take proper legal advice...

You may choose to negotiate a settlement yourself without involving the court... work out how much you believe it is fair to expect the father to pay... schooling costs, food, living expenses, and ask him to contribute what you think is fair... if you don't ask, he may be excused for not paying until now (believing that the shop he provided is enough)...

Make sure you find out as much as you can about his personal details before you ask, so that he can not just disappear... where his parents live, his family (sisters/brothers), where he works, all that sort of stuff...

You might also hint that if he doesn't help, you may look to the BRITISH courts... he will definately know that that means he could be made to pay BIG TIME...

But I also think that you should give him reasonable access to his daughter... he may have been mean and horrible before, but he might have softened and want to know and love his daughter now, and if you can you should allow him to... Just like your daughter will only ever have one mother, she will only ever have one father...

As for the 'no responsibility if it is a hooker' arguement, which doesn't appear in any way related to the OP... NOT ALL WOMEN IN THAILAND ARE WHORES... if it really was a one night financial arrangement, she would never know his name, let alone his details... these situations rarely are like that... and besides which, if you take the local Plymothian Slapper home one drunken night and don't protect yourself, you are still responsible, both legally and morally... stop hiding and get out the chequebook for the good of the child YOU MADE...

Cheers,

Daewoo

Edited October 18, 2007 by Daewoo

[Polly]

'And by simply having sex with a woman, every man is not signing up for this responsibility.'

Well, if that is the case, then he should make sure he is not going to get someone pregnant. It is called using a condom.

Most women 'by simply having sex with' a man, are not intending to become mothers either, but if they dont use birth control, they well do.

As men may become fathers if they dont use birth control.

The child belongs to both of them, saying after the event, that it is not the man's responsibility is not on, so if men want sex with no responsibility, they should make sure that they do not become fathers.