Hello Ladie - I am new to this Forum, but I got recommended, that I might find some Advices or helpfull Tips for my present Situation :

I have a 3 years old Daughter with an English Man, but till now, I did not get ant financial Support from him.

This English Man lives here in Thailand most of the Time, but goes back to England every 2 or 3 Months a Year.

What Rights do my Daughter have here in Thailand - and in England?

How I can make this English Man supporting my Daughter?

Are thre any Laws in England for such a Case?

And the worst Thing now, he wants to have "half" of her ( taking my Daughter on his Name, without paying me any Money, what I have spent to rise my Daughter in the last 3 Years )!

I will appreciate any Suggestion, Help, Information or Tips .

if your daughter has your family name , he can not change it to his name without your permission.

Were you married/divorced to this man???

is his name on the birth certificate??

you didn't say but am i correct in presuming you are Thai??

I hope that you find the answer to your question, but I'll take a guess.

I have heard that Thailand does have laws that award women child support, but I'm not familliar with any specific cases. England certianly does have laws to award child support, but you may have to go there. Hopefully somebody that is a lawyer or more familiar with the laws will come along soon.

The problems will be waiting for the legal systems to make a judgement and the judgement being enforced. If he doesn't have money or any that can be found (if he's working illegally or is hiding money) you can't get what government can't find.

Good luck

on the Birthcertificaye in only my Name - but at the Bangkok Pattaya Hospital, where my Daughter was born, his Name is registered ! No - I was not married to him!

English law courts will award child support where there is clear evidence that the father is the natural father of the child or has accepted parenthood for the child.

You should be aware that paternity cases in the UK are not easy to resolve (but by no means impossible).

From what you tell us you would first have to get a lawyer in the UK to take your case, the lawyer would then have to win the argument in court that their is a real parenthood between the father and the child. An overseas hospital record that is I presume not in English would need to be translated, attested and then will absolutely be challenged.

The first thing you should do is gather any information that may be helpful, hospital records, photographs, letters, emails, addresses and contact details, his employers details etc. Anything that demonstrates the guy to be the father of your child - Keep these in a safe place where the father is not able to distroy or trash these important documents.

Until you have collected such evidence it would be impossible for a lawyer in the UK to help you prove your case. The lawyer would in any case be able to advise chances of success against the evidence you have.

The best way to find a lawyer is through immigrant women support groups, perhaps other members can help with details there.

Alternatively, and this depends on you still having a relationship with the father, is it possible for you to get the father to accept the child in Thailand?

And finally, is it possible for you to take the father to court in Thailand in order to prove paternity in Thailand. Such proof would be invaluable in getting and English court to award child support - almost certainly in a very short period of time.

And the worst Thing now, he wants to have "half" of her ( taking my Daughter on his Name, without paying me any Money, what I have spent to rise my Daughter in the last 3 Years )!

Why is this a bad thing, if you can get him to legally accept his daughter and give her his name/nationality then you are a long way to winning an income for your daughter in an English court.

Note: The British Government are currently reviewing the enforcement of Child Support - getting fathers to pay for their children and getting mothers to allow fathers access to their children.

One proposal being considered is to remove passports from parents who do not pay child maintenance/allow access to children.

This issue of child support and child access is getting more and more attention with correspondingly tougher enforcement. Not a moment too soon!

You definitely have rights under both Thai and British law, the problem is enforcing them.

I suggest you start by getting a lawyer in Thailand who is familiar with both Thai and UK family law. The following 2 were recommended by a TV member on another thread:

DEJ-UDOM & ASSOCIATES LTD

Charn Issara Tower 9th Floor

942/142 Rama IV Road

Bangrak District

bangkok

10500

Tel: +66 (0) 22330055

email: [email protected]

BaumgartenBrandt (asia) ltd

Sathorn Thani BLDg 2 Floor 18

92/50 North Sathorn Road

Bangrak,

Silom

Bangkok

10500

tel +66 (0)26 36 86 66

email: [email protected]

I suggest you start by having the lawyer try to negotiate a child support and custody agreement with the father in which he acknowledges paternity, agrees to provide child support and you in turn agree to give him visiting rights. It is only reasonable to expect to have to let him see the child if he provides support, unless you have reason to believe he might mistreat or neglect the baby.

If negotiations fail them you can look at options for taking legal action.

You definitely have rights under both Thai and British law, the problem is enforcing them.

I suggest you start by getting a lawyer in Thailand who is familiar with both Thai and UK family law. The following 2 were recommended by a TV member on another thread:

DEJ-UDOM & ASSOCIATES LTD

Charn Issara Tower 9th Floor

942/142 Rama IV Road

Bangrak District

bangkok

10500

Tel: +66 (0) 22330055

email: [email protected]

BaumgartenBrandt (asia) ltd

Sathorn Thani BLDg 2 Floor 18

92/50 North Sathorn Road

Bangrak,

Silom

Bangkok

10500

tel +66 (0)26 36 86 66

email: [email protected]

I suggest you start by having the lawyer try to negotiate a child support and custody agreement with the father in which he acknowledges paternity, agrees to provide child support and you in turn agree to give him visiting rights. It is only reasonable to expect to have to let him see the child if he provides support, unless you have reason to believe he might mistreat or neglect the baby.

If negotiations fail them you can look at options for taking legal action.

very interesting Thread, but if negotiations fail ( the Lawer will charge approximately what Amount for the negotiations ? who will have to pay for ? I suppose, this Lady ! )

how much will be the approximately amount of money, starting to take legal actions ? Supposing, she will win the case, the Father will have to pay this Money back - right?

when I reading from the Beginning, I suppose, this Lady has little Money .....

Are there any Organisations here in Thailand or in UK, who support finacially such cases?

In Germany, when such a Case appears, the Lady have just to apply for the Help of the Department of Youth/Child Affairs of the Goverment, and they will order the "might-be-father" to undergo a Paternity Test in any case - and will he will have to pay for this Test, when the DNA Test showes a positiv Result, that he is the Father

How is the Situation for such a case in Thailand?

A curious User of this so helpfull Forum

Sounds like a case of entrapment to me. Have a "rich" farange make baby for you and all your problems are solvd. It takes two to tango.

First mistake was going out with a Brit!!

Sounds like a case of entrapment to me. Have a "rich" farange make baby for you and all your problems are solvd. It takes two to tango.

First mistake was going out with a Brit!!

Yes it does take two to tango, hence this man should support his child!

Do you really think this lady would have waited 3 years if she was trying to entrap this guy? No not likely is it.

I think you should keep your helpful comments to yourself,

goodluck Gigi2k

Mark

What does he do for living?

All most English man lives in Thailand because it is cheap and treat Thai lady in worst. He doesn't want to go work and pay tax to Brit. so that he just hide his income. It is same as my boyfriend do.

As i read your topic, so that i will decide to cancel our relationship.

I wish you will get someone to guide you soon.

All most English man lives in Thailand because it is cheap and treat Thai lady in worst.

Excuse me.... way off mark here with that comment!!!

All most English man lives in Thailand because it is cheap and treat Thai lady in worst.

Excuse me.... way off mark here with that comment!!!

Way off the mark with the entire post!

chadanat, if you have problems with your English boyfriend & you feel he is not giving you the love & respect you deserve, then you may be right to end your relationship. Only you know that. However, it's not fair to stereotype because of nationality. There are many very good British guys, Thai guys, German guys, Brazilian guys etc etc etc..... and there are some not so good. Same as women. The trick is to find a good one & show how much you appreciate them If you don't have a good one, then you make the decision to move on, or not...

Edit - sorry, off topic.

Edited April 25, 200719 yr by November Rain

thank you for all members who chared all imformation about it .. and i do appriciated it .. thank you so much to u all .. and will let u guys know the progress after i done some thing with it ... .. ..and have a great day for u guys ... thanks again ....

Sounds like a case of entrapment to me. Have a "rich" farange make baby for you and all your problems are solvd. It takes two to tango.

First mistake was going out with a Brit!!

Entrapment, surely that is at another stage in the proces, if that was the case at all.

Now the baby is there, it is a fact, and therefor his responsebility 50%, no matter how it came about, never mind about the mother but now there is a child without the support she is entitled to

It is really low and lousy to run from that. I hope the OP gets him

I wish you good luck.

If his name is not on the birth certificate, and he wants nothing to do with the baby, forget it. If he lives here, you're still going to get nothing from him. If you cannot prove the baby is his and get him to accpet responsibility for it, then the UK will give you nothing.

What does he do for money ?

Why have you waited nearly 4 years (3+1) before sorting anything out ?

How did you meet him ?

What was the arrangement when you fell pregnant ?

Sorry but I think you will get nothing. I am a man with a Thai girlfriend who is 7 months pregnant. I have made every provision for the baby. I don't like guys who do this but I think maybe you have not helped yourself too much either.

How have you survived for the last 3 years ? Can you prove how ?

If his name is not on the birth certificate, and he wants nothing to do with the baby, forget it. If he lives here, you're still going to get nothing from him. If you cannot prove the baby is his and get him to accpet responsibility for it, then the UK will give you nothing.

What does he do for money ?

Why have you waited nearly 4 years (3+1) before sorting anything out ?

How did you meet him ?

What was the arrangement when you fell pregnant ?

Sorry but I think you will get nothing. I am a man with a Thai girlfriend who is 7 months pregnant. I have made every provision for the baby. I don't like guys who do this but I think maybe you have not helped yourself too much either.

How have you survived for the last 3 years ? Can you prove how ?

She has waited until now because, according to her original post, he now wants some sort of partial custody of a daughter to whom he has never provided support.

And the worst Thing now, he wants to have "half" of her ( taking my Daughter on his Name, without paying me any Money, what I have spent to rise my Daughter in the last 3 Years )!

In Thailand don't now.

In England then yes you have a right to child support and this can be enforced across borders but you have to start with proving the child is his. Forget BPH records whatever ultimately you need:

1. documents from him admitting paternity or;

2. a DNA test

A DNA test on an unwilling partner can be achieved through lengthy expensive court proceedings which I assume are out of the question so lets focus on 1.

Try telling him he can only see his daughter if he formally accepts paternity and get it all written up and her entitlement to UK citizenship registered with the British embassy. From there you have a much stronger hand.

i wouldn't like to say this ..

i am much much stronger than a normal thai women u have ever met .. may be .. that's how i see myself ..

i left me sinc i got pragnanted ..ok..and he moved in with a thai girl ..who he had an affaired with for almost 2 years .. ok

so .. don't tell me about .. i don't help myself ..

i run 4 shops for him while he stayed with that girl, and i have to be a happy mother for my baby in my belly.. DO U KNOW .. HOW HARD TO BECOME TO BE A HAPPY MOTHER IN THAT SITUATION !!??

...

and after we sprited up from 4 shops , he gave me 1 shop only !.. to run to make money for myself to live and FOR HIS OWN DAUGHTER !!..

AND NOW I EXPAND 1 MORE SHOP .. SO I HAVE 2 SHOPS NOW ..

....

and i can tell u , what 's differrent is .. I DONN'T LIKE TO SUCK MONEY OUT FROM ANY MEN THAT COME IN MY LIFE !

BECAUSE ..TO BE HONEST ..

I THINK .. I AM A VERY AND VERY COOL WOMEN !!..

I HAVE A VERY HIGH SELF ESTEAM AND I KNOW THAT I AM INTELLEGENT TO MAKE MONEY TO SURVIVE..

..BUT TODAY ..

I AM HERE ..

TO ASK FOR THE RIGHT ..FOR MY DAUGHTER AND FOR HIS OWN DAUGHTER ..

THAT'S ALL I WANT.. !!

...

..have a wonderfull day to u guys ..

..thaigigi..

Thaigigi,

pay no attention to the male posts making negative insinuations. The women here on this forum all understand how hard your situation is and we support you

Carry on pursuing your right (and your daughter's right) to child support!

Seconded, gigi2k. Sheryl is 100% right. While we do have some lovely guys on this forum, we also have some absolute a***holes! Ignore the idiots. We ladies are behind you & hope everything works out for you and your daughter.

Rude and abusive posts have been deleted. If you don't have anything constructive to say then don't post at all. Abusive posters will quickly find themselves disabused of their posting rights.

i really feel lucky and happy to myself and other girls who known this forum .

you guys so cool !

and i will try my best to solved my issue .

..

and as cool as you all are .. i would love to give help to other girls who has more poor stories and any thing that i can do .. please contact me ..

<edit>

...

and i would love to thank you to u all again ..and again .. to look after the members who needed help and a support by all very usefull information and by all nice and beautifull comforted letters ...

.. it is really mean a lot to me and i do appliciated and i know that .. others poor members must feel the same way as how i feel to u guys ..

...

thanks again ..

With Best regards

gigi

Edited May 10, 200719 yr by Totster
Removed URL and Email

I am sure what I am about to say will be unpopular, but there is a reason why most/some women and men decide to get married BEFORE they have children. I don't believe in any religious connotations regarding this, but simply in the law, which does better protect women who have children who are married.

As I understand it, the law in Thailand does not support women and children very well, even if you are married. And mostly, not at all, if you are NOT married.

And I must say I am a little curious why the poster does not mention anything other that wanting money from her child's father, and that sharing custody seems like a burden to her. I am not sure she does not care, but some mothers do want the father involved for the sake of them having another parent, not only for a check at the start of the month. And why does she expect more than what a Thai man would be expected to give her, which might well be nothing?

Of course I do believe that men should support their children, but I also believe that some men are targets. If I have your child I can support myself for the rest of my life. And by simply having sex with a woman, every man is not signing up for this responsibility. This is why we have institutions called marriage, because those men are at least, legally, signing up for their responsibilites.

I would suggest that women who decide to have children, take some responsibility for their decisions, first to not have used birth control, and second to decide to have the baby anyway, when you might at that point been able to tell that the man was not committed to you or the child.

And also, this poster mentions owning some shops purchased I suppose by the man, which maybe he thought was enough of an investment to protect her. I have met Thai women, who are second wives here, and have a kid, where the Thai man bought her a building to do whatever business they want, in my example, a laundry business combined with getting rents from other tenants. It is not my idea of a dream life, but I have never chosen to have unwanted children, from a man who has made no commitments to me.

Maybe giving the father some contact with his child, could make him want to be more responsible for the kid's welfare. However it does make me curious why any Thai woman would be looking for laws outside her country to protect her, when she lives in Thailand, had a baby in Thailand, and is not married and not living with the father.

I am also curious why so many farang men come to Thailand at the age that they should be grandfathers, and end up with kids from Thai women, and this seems to be a shock for them? I mean, it doesn't seem to be their ideas to have a kid but rather the idea, or accident, from their Thai wife. And now they are out looking for work to pay for international schools and things they had not planned on in their retirement bugdets.

My Thai boyfiend is always trying to get me into the mindset of having a baby. I did not have plans for this is my retirement budget, although I am rather young in these terms. However, I have not worked since I was about 37, and think I can support myself in Thailand without ever getting work again. But this plan did not include children, international schools, university in England or the US. And I always ask myself, why did he not have a baby with someone else before me? If he really wanted kids, why is he now 44 years old and never married, no children, but wants to have kids with me?

I think everyone can answer this for themselves. How great to have a baby, that doesn't have to come out of your body, that someone else can support, and that someone else can do all the daily work for years and years, because of course, I am the woman. I have to have the baby, do all the work, and will support the baby everytime my Thai spouse doesn't have enough money.

i hope this isn't perceived as abusive but i'm a wee bit confused..

u say this man hasn't given any monies to provide for his daughter?

..yet your husband/boyfriend gave you property that was already a shop/income?

the property/shop must be worth something and i imagine u had regular customers...i say this because u have managed to expand and buy another shop

if this is true then imho he has given something..maybe not regular payments, but an investment and buisness...

u didn't say if he's had contact with his daughter for the past 3 years?

It doesn't sound like you and your daughters father are still friends?

If he hasn't seen your daughter because he wasn't interested then that's not good...if he hasn't seen your daughter because you won't let him then that is not good either

i really don't want to offend u, you are a strong woman that has taken care of your baby on your own...i know how difficult this is...but i read this thread and u seemed angry about money?

do u want your ex boyfriend to give you money before he can visit his daughter?

do u want money but not want him to see your daughter?...

i hope you can work something out, i hope this post hasn't offended you, i'm just a little confused 5555 it does happen with me

Why am I hearing you wanting only the financial support from him, what about demanding the emotional support for the child also?

And…Why so much opposing from his part, hmm…I wonder?

Could it be that he doesn’t think the child is his? Or may be he thinks that he had been raped so therefore doesn’t want to take the full responsibility for the consequence. I don’t know, coz I’m hearing from your side of the story only.

Anyhow below is my take, I may get shoot on this one.

If he's a bf not a hubby, he has no legal responsibility to you, I would think. You can do anything you want, but I think… No courts can do a thing about it (esp. while you’re still in Thailand), just as they couldn’t do a thing to stop you from going out with this guy when you first fall for him. You slept with him and made the baby without the commitment, that wasn’t a very smart thing to do to begin with. Sex before marriage is one thing, but bringing a life into that kind of situation is irresponsible and that's why they make the pill and condoms and IUD's and other contraceptives!

Sorry to tell you this… but I think you are on your own. You picked the loser, and now you have to deal with the consequences of your own actions. It’s a chain reaction to your own doing. If I were you I would move on with my life and concentrate on raising the child on my own, she would be better not knowing that she has that creep/loser as her father. But next time… hope you pick a better partner.

Best of luck and take care

Teacup

Just as an aside, I know a Thai woman whose husband left her and their son for another woman. She went to family court and has gotten child support out of him. He makes monthly payments, not much, but then he doesn't make much. But he does pay and the family court sided with her.

I can't answer for gigi2k, as, obviously, I'm not her & only know what I've read, but what is wrong with her trying to find out where she & her daughter stand in Thai & British law? Her daughter is half- English (biologically) & the daughter's father is British. Why not try & find out if there is some UK law that might benefit her daughter? If it were me, I would.

As for the shops, it sounds to me as if he gave her one as a pay-off for the broken relationship. It's hardly child support, as it involves her having to work hard to get money & presumably spend time away from the child. She has worked hard & now has 2 shops through her efforts. Good for her.

MTW, I'm afraid I disagree. The man did (or rather didn't do) one thing that should make him responsible & sign up for a lifetime of fatherhood. He didn't wear a condom. There are many (largely hidden) ways of birth control for a woman & one for a man, which is glaringly obvious when being used! If he didn't want a child, he should have worn one (& we're not even talking the health risks of him sleeping with other women here, as he did!) Yes it's a woman's responsibility too, but a man can hardly moan about becoming a father if he didn't take the obvious precaution.

Khun GiGi...........my wife is a family law lawyer ( ok guys, not the best professional type woman to marry) PM me and maybe we can get in touch and help you out, it seems a simple situation if he is in fact the father

MTW, I'm afraid I disagree. The man did (or rather didn't do) one thing that should make him responsible & sign up for a lifetime of fatherhood. He didn't wear a condom. There are many (largely hidden) ways of birth control for a woman & one for a man, which is glaringly obvious when being used! If he didn't want a child, he should have worn one (& we're not even talking the health risks of him sleeping with other women here, as he did!) Yes it's a woman's responsibility too, but a man can hardly moan about becoming a father if he didn't take the obvious precaution.

Exactly. Actually there are 2 ways for a man, besides condom there is vasectomy, which in the case of the older farang men not expecting or wanting a child at this time of life which another poster alluded to, vasectomy would be an excellent idea.

Not only do men rarely use a method of birth control themselves but far too few of them even bother to ask the woman if she's using anything. I do know that men can be victimized...one of my nephews was recently taken for a ride by an ex-girlfriend who got pregnant by someone else but tried to claim it was his. (We caught her out by a sonogram which established that the pregnancy was too recent to have possibly been his)...but I reamed him out and then some for not using a condom, thereby leaving himself open to such a thing. While women usually are the oens to suffer from an unplanned pregnancy, men can face some bad consequences too and ought to consider that and take appropriate precautions.

We don't know the circumstances of how gigi ended up having a child without being married, but odds are tyhe guy refused to marry her. He may have said he was going to marry her and then reneged..wouldn't be the first time. or just said he loved her and she assumed that meant marriage was in the offing, a common misunderstanding especially in Thai-farang relationships.

The pregnancy may have been accidental. We don't know enough to be blaming her for bad judgement in ending up in this predicament. Besides, even if she did make an error of judgement, everyone does at some point in life and most importantly the child shouldn't have to pay for it.

Thai law does provide for child support even when not married although paternity has to be established. The bigger problem is enforcement. She also has recourse under UK law.

I do agree with Teacup though that seeking an arrangement that includes both support and visittaion rights for the father would be both fair and desirable unless there is reason to believe he might harm the child.

Vasectomies carry significant health risks particularly vastly increased risk of prostate cancer. Somehow women who are usually so clued up about health matters never seem to know this...