Discouraging?

[sibeymai]

who is that guy in Maigo6's avatar ? He seems familiar, like I've seen him before somewhere......but i just can't place it. Never mind, can't be important then.

Sorry.......but couldn't resist.

[shochu]

O.P.

Although there is much negative experiences, hence these views, I would like to say I know of two personally where both these guys are extremely rich to the tune of one of the them having gotten three of the best architects in the country to design him three separate homes back home. Both of these guys are divorced with kids from their first marriage. I know one of these ladies and she is from a very respectable family in bangkok.

Although the evidence thus far makes people lean towards the negative, there are many who have met great thai ladies, and yes older, that are happy and do not ever come to forums like this. Just proceed with caution and give it a go - one can only learn from experiences.

Didn't one of the guys from DHL leave a fortune to four thai women with which he had kids? Not saying this guy was a saint - but just...

There is always the possibilty she is genuine - however rare many here seem to think this is.

[Neeranam]

I mean, there must be some Farangs who are married to Thai women in Thailand who don't visit prostitutes behind their wives back, I personally don't know any, but there must be some..............

This thread is about trust right....and Farangs are trustworty !!

Jesus H Christ......

Soi 6 in Pattaya is full of trustworthy Farangs who are out playing golf with their friends at the weekend.

I've been married for 6 years and never been unfaithful. So now you know 1.

I know lots of married farang who never cheat on their wives.

[teacup]

Didn't one of the guys from DHL leave a fortune to four thai women with which he had kids? Not saying this guy was a saint - but just...

No..not thai women

1st one - some islander girl....couldn't remember which island - have 1 a boy w/ her when she was around 16-17 yrs old

2nd one- 16 yrs old Phillipino girl - have 1 baby girl

3rd one- a young Vietamese girl -forgot how young, but in the teens - have a baby w/ her also

Those 3 kids above, each had received the billions in $$$$ and DHL stocks

And....

the last one - current mistress (current at the time of his death), she's a Phillipino, in her 20s, and got a house they're living in at the time of his death....no kid w/her

He doesn't go with any bar girl, but only with the virgin only....because of the health issues concern ...so said his friends!

[Furbie]

I know some people who have met each other via internet, succesfully that is.

Age is not really important to me. If some of our esteemed posters say that 40 is over the hill, I can only say that it's better to have someone your own age than to have someone much younger. For a relationship that is.

The other side of the coin is that Thailand and Thai women are perceived as being a snakepit. Often these perceptions are based on Farang-bargirl relationships and do not reflect the real Thai girl who is rather shy and conservative.

Just keep in mind to be very careful: don't buy property on her name, don't give her money (not the first years at least) and don't burn your bridges back home.

Good luck and enjoy Thailand

So true, being outside this dynamic allows you to meet some truly wonderful, caring women. Though cultural hurdles can be very high at times, and there are gold diggers just like everywhere else in the world, you are much better off outside of the bar scene.

As mentioned by another poster, 'Thailand Fever' by Chris Pirazzi and Vitida Vasant is a good book – though a bit heavily focused on the bar girl dynamic and Isaan girls. I read it together with my GF (central Thai girl) and she felt a lot of the comments about Thai's were correct – family obligations, what is means to introduce a boyfriend to the family, the importance of modesty, etc.. I happened to agree with a lot of the comments about Westerners – the need for privacy and independence, the way we grow up being focused on individual accomplishment, etc. As always, the comments in the book are the opinion of the authors, use it in conjunction with other culture books – there are many. However, this is the first book I have seen that is really designed to be read as a couple.

As for the OP, no harm in coming over and having a look.

[oooooo]

just for the record, my "wife", we are not married but have lived together for five years in LOS is 9 years older than me. ( 38 / 47 )

we have a wonderful relationship so i don't really understand where the age factor comes in.

she is financially independent and so am i. we're a team focused on making our lives better on a daily basis.

that's the power of love.

[Furbie]

And as for Farangs saying " Oh wow, I only find Asian women attractive "...................

The reason for that is, you know you have no chance at all with a much younger women in your own country..unless of course you are a rich man, and it that case you would already have a young white woman who speaks your language and doesn't eat insects for lunch.

How many Movie Stars flock to Thailand to look for a wife, how many Multi Millionaires are in Pattaya looking for a girl from Nakhon nowhere.............not many huh...why ?

Cos they have a choice in their own country, that's why!

Clearly, all of us farrangs here in Thailand are an ugly lot – it is amazing we can walk down the street without the local villagers pulling out torches and chasing us back to Castle Frankenstein.

Get real. There are plenty of attractive Western guys around. I have had many GFs in the West, and many in Thailand – I assure you, I am not rich (though if I was, I would start going after models).

As for me, I have always preferred Asian women, and get this, - I realize this my complete as a surprise to some, but I have it on good authority that their are more Asian women in Asia than the West – go figure. In the West, you have five guys fighting over the same ugly Asian girl, who is not Asian in attitude anyway – I prefer my chances here, attractive and traditional.

[blizzard]

hey be fair .

guys fight over ugly asians girls here too!

[wolfmanjack]

What makes you so sure of that? Are all women there the same? Or is there some experience(s) you only have gone through? Would not a trip there be revealing?

Very odd, all the blanket statements, without knowing a particular person

Of course not all people are the same, same as all men are not the same...

I mean, there must be some Farangs who are married to Thai women in Thailand who don't visit prostitutes behind their wives back, I personally don't know any, but there must be some..............

This thread is about trust right....and Farangs are trustworty !!

Jesus H Christ......

Soi 6 in Pattaya is full of trustworthy Farangs who are out playing golf with their friends at the weekend.

I have never had sex with another girl since i met my wife let alone a prostitute.

[alexth]

And as for Farangs saying " Oh wow, I only find Asian women attractive "...................

The reason for that is, you know you have no chance at all with a much younger women in your own country..unless of course you are a rich man, and it that case you would already have a young white woman who speaks your language and doesn't eat insects for lunch.

How many Movie Stars flock to Thailand to look for a wife, how many Multi Millionaires are in Pattaya looking for a girl from Nakhon nowhere.............not many huh...why ?

Cos they have a choice in their own country, that's why!

Maigo, I'd have to disagree on some parts of your post, I for one, prefere asian girls (chinese, japanese, thai, not indian) for their looks. I've also had girlfriends back home, pretty good looking and I can't complain about my past relationships, everything went fine, I've had girlfriends with a worst financial status than I had or much better, it didn't made a difference for us, no money involved, just having fun, communicating a lot (which BTW is a minus for the thai girls, not too much to talk about be they high, medium or low classed girls), going to movies, theaters, opera, etc. It's ok since I am not planning to get married soon and I keep this subject underlined since I am not into ruining other's life plans.

I agree with you on most of the farangs here, but it can't be generalised. I've meet nice farangs, with good looks, money AND thai wifes and with an unbreaked heart or pocket from back home. Also, relationships back home still work, there are zillions of examples out there and I don't see this changing as much as one would think.

[Maigo6]

I have never had sex with another girl since i met my wife let alone a prostitute.

Ok Mr Clinton, I believe you.

[phosamton]

Many Thai women do not enjoy the same avenues for meeting men as women from the west. Most of the single women I know in BKK use some sort of chat service for most of their socializing. Quite a few of them live at home with Mom and Dad, who want them in the house by 9PM. Not much chance to meet Mr. Right when you work all day and have to go home most nights.

So, although we always see these bar girls in the internet shops maintaining relationships with guys from all over the world, the reality is that most normal, middle class dateable women have internet right in their home...or at work. yes, actually, most Thai women go to work everyday (and believe it or not, many work in an office) or maybe to uni to further their education, or even going for a master's to advance their careers. And guess what? They have money too.

There are always opportunists, and this OP's girlfriend may be just that. But it's ignorant to act like all Thai women only want money. The women I know are hopelessly romantic, and have their own money. They want companionship. BKK is swarming with single women between 25-40 who fit this profile. It makes sense that a farang would be a better hope as Thai men do seem rather uninterested in women the same age as or older than them. So what?...oh wait...I bet the guys who blast thai women the most are older guys who "date" women half their age...and those women on average probably have finished primary school...maybe a couple years of secondary...

Having said all that, tread lightly, be aware that scams exist, and use your common sense. But be more concerned with the normal issues that are part of any relationship, from any culture.

[gharknes]

and if i wanted a 40 yo divorced mother I'd ave stayed at home

You mean your ex-wife ?

well unlike 99% of members here I left no baggage at home, no wife no kids, and before anyone makes another snide comment - I have had a string of very beautiful girlfriends throughout my life - I simply did not conform to the social expectation like all of you lemmings did - I stayed single like my instinct told me, I truely do not believe humans where meant to be monogomous - we are tribal in everything that we do

running away from an ex wife ex life or ex wives (those that failed to see it first time round) is something i did not do

[gharknes]

I mean, there must be some Farangs who are married to Thai women in Thailand who don't visit prostitutes behind their wives back, I personally don't know any, but there must be some..............

This thread is about trust right....and Farangs are trustworty !!

Jesus H Christ......

Soi 6 in Pattaya is full of trustworthy Farangs who are out playing golf with their friends at the weekend.

I've been married for 6 years and never been unfaithful. So now you know 1.

I know lots of married farang who never cheat on their wives.

married how many times - perhaps you've cheated your first marrage - something about till death do us part - real saint eh

[gharknes]

That would be pretty lame, would it? Maigo, was this what you were talking about?

Alex, that would be a prime example.

Farangs make me laugh actually, they flock to Thailand cos they can't get white women in their own countries and can use their money power to attract the local females, then they complain about the fact that the local women only want them for money.

Hello..........................

probably applies to less than you think, you need to get out more - look around

[Neeranam]

I mean, there must be some Farangs who are married to Thai women in Thailand who don't visit prostitutes behind their wives back, I personally don't know any, but there must be some..............

This thread is about trust right....and Farangs are trustworty !!

Jesus H Christ......

Soi 6 in Pattaya is full of trustworthy Farangs who are out playing golf with their friends at the weekend.

I've been married for 6 years and never been unfaithful. So now you know 1.

I know lots of married farang who never cheat on their wives.

married how many times - perhaps you've cheated your first marrage - something about till death do us part - real saint eh

This is my first marriage and will be my only one.

Nothing saintly about sticking to marriage vows is there?

I respect my wife. Those who sleep around obviously don't theirs.

[Roadman]

Hi in2it1

Not suprisingly nothing has changed from when I was in your position 3 or 4 years ago. Same deal - late 30's educated thai woman I met on the internet. Main difference however was that I had already had emersion within 'normal' thai cultures both in Thailand and with thai people here in my home country. To a large degree that true knowledge allowed the skipping of the "do your head in" garbage everywhere phase that you struck.

The key ingredient to balance all the garbage that one reads is missing - the thai girl. And reading most of these sites I can understand why.

Phosamton with the post above described it as it is for the typical thai woman. There are masses of them in Thailand who have passed their 20's behind without having had the chance to meet a decent guy. Most are only looking for the same as we are - someone to share the security of a long term relationship with.

There are only two pieces of advice that I pass onto anybody both given to me by thai friends - one is why bother with reading books and internet sites to learn about thai woman when you can have one to teach you? and not suprising the same one that is passed on by farangs - take your time and think with the head on top of your shoulders.

You are on the right track by going to meet her. Chok dee mahk.

[MiG16]

.but what would I know huh

PS> EDIT to add that> IM prolly just one more of those UNMARRIED, UNWANTED thai women

Assuming you really are a Thai female: can you repeat, slowly, that you actually believe that in current day Thai society a 40 yo woman has as many chances to find love and get married in Thailand as a Western 40 yo woman has in the West..?

[i know at this point I should ask you what kind of knowledge do you have on the West since you "have always been" in Thailand, but it's fun enough as it is... ]

P.S. This is just an anonymous internet board so, can you tell us your age?

im beginning to lose the plot here....totally forgotten what was the OP....and how did we get to what the OP wanted to discuss to how clueless I may or may not be? and I fail to see what my age has got to do with how much knowledge I do or do not have of the west. but anyhow dont forget that in these days of the internet era, the world is all a much smaller place, if you pay enough attention and care enough to learn about other cultures. WITHOUT making generalisations across the boards about every citizen in a country that is. whatever happened to the theory of unique individuals.

Ive seen so many such sentiments on this forum about how in a not very pleasant way a number of you make generalisations about bad experiences and very kindly go on to make anyone who might have any faith in their girl to seriously start doubting it. Im not saying people should get into any relationship with some rosey eyed glass....but cmon people, give them atleast some chance to see if something can be real? sure go ahead and warn people of whatever scams you have PERSONALLY had happened to you or someone you know in the first degree. but save the stories of I heard this one and that happened to them......

to the OP I say.....if you have learnt about her through the internet for this long, and you are keen to see if something can work out, then go ahead and do it. but just like with the start of any relationships ...no matter where it originates.....do it with realistic expectations. and ye oyu might feel that you 2 already know each other...just try to hold that little thought in your head that sometime people are different in real life than on the internet. treat your meeting as somewhat of a getting to know each other, rather than a Im coming to marry you. that way if for whatever reason it doesnt work out, then you both dont end up getting shattered cos of the high expectations you both might have had.

good luck....and cheers

[a2396]

I know some people who have met each other via internet, succesfully that is.

Age is not really important to me. If some of our esteemed posters say that 40 is over the hill, I can only say that it's better to have someone your own age than to have someone much younger. For a relationship that is.

The other side of the coin is that Thailand and Thai women are perceived as being a snakepit. Often these perceptions are based on Farang-bargirl relationships and do not reflect the real Thai girl who is rather shy and conservative.

Just keep in mind to be very careful: don't buy property on her name, don't give her money (not the first years at least) and don't burn your bridges back home.

Good luck and enjoy Thailand

I agree with some of what you say. It should be clear that bargirls & related professions are to be delt with caution. As for so-called normal Thai girls, I have not been impressed with thier honesty. And - re: "don't give her money for the first years", I personally have not seen any Thai-Farang match that di not involve money being exchanged relatively early in the game. I suppose there are exceptions to this, if the lady has some sort of proessional job, but such cases are not the norm here in LOS.

[in2it1]

if you want to test your girl do as i say.

have her pay half you r communicating bills. phone, internet, etc, whatever means you use. it cant be insignificant as youve been doing it for a while you say.

then you will see if she playing you like a fiddle. money tells all!

I will share this wth you, even though I am sure it will not make a difference. IMing is free, thus no expense involved. She already pays half the expense of the phone calls, because we alternate calling. I know where she works and I am sure that the expense of the calls is hard on her budget, while it is just pocket change for me she does not know that. She has never complained or mentioned the expense. Only recently have I started calling her back to ease that expense. We never discussed it, it is just something I felt would be the right thing to do.I am sure you, and many others on here. will find some way to make up an excuse for this in order to continue your bashing of Thai women. Do you really believe they are all snakes waiting to strike?

[blizzard]

we not bashing thai women, at least not i, i bashing you.

f..k just go meet her, whats the freaking problem.

[jeebusjones]

I am sure you, and many others on here. will find some way to make up an excuse for this in order to continue your bashing of Thai women. Do you really believe they are all snakes waiting to strike?

I'm not bashing Thai women. I'm bashing the likelihood of meeting a good, honest person over the internet. Very, very unlikely, IMHO.

[Maigo6]

I'm bashing the likelihood of meeting a good, honest person over the internet. Very, very unlikely, IMHO.

Yes,

I always warn Thai women that the chances of meeting a good honest Farang on the Internet, are very very small indeed.

Even smaller than meeting a good honest Farang who is already in Thailand.

Edited May 3, 2007 by Maigo6

[in2it1]

I mean, there must be some Farangs who are married to Thai women in Thailand who don't visit prostitutes behind their wives back, I personally don't know any, but there must be some..............

This thread is about trust right....and Farangs are trustworty !!

Jesus H Christ......

Soi 6 in Pattaya is full of trustworthy Farangs who are out playing golf with their friends at the weekend.

I've been married for 6 years and never been unfaithful. So now you know 1.

I know lots of married farang who never cheat on their wives.

Just a note, cheating with a prosititute is not limited to there. I have never done that here where I live out of respect for the person I am with. And would never consider doing it anywhere else.

[BAF]

Apparently age is very important to you BAF. Quantity of years, over Quality of person? But... allow... me... to... remind... you... that... this... thread... is... about... a... 40... year... old... Thai... woman... who... is... far... closer... to... achieving... success... with.... a... Western... man.... than... a... 40... year.... old.... Western... woman... is.... I hope this was slow enough for you?!

It's not about me, in2it1, I already have a happy and healthy sentimental and sexual life

It's not me the one "looking forward to any advice or opinions" (as per your opening post).

The notion I've been trying to put into your head is that age and the other things I've mentioned (plus many others) are very important for the culture and the society she is from and she is living in.

Didn't you want to learn about Thai culture which is "admittedly new" to you? You have in a successive post said that you "dated a Chinese woman in Beijing for over a year and dated several Koreans in the past" and your initial claim was that you are " far from nieve, ignorant, or inexperienced in the ways of the world". Sadly, the fact that you have lived in Asia (you say) coupled with what you have written in your last posts have confirmed to me that you are just another one of those blind daydreamers who have crowded the thread and for which I have no time nor respect since they are one of the main reasons for which we Westerners are taken for fools here and aren't given the respect and the level of "service" Thai men use to get...

My parting words are, again, good luck.

Although now I don't think you deserve it.

P.S. And BTW, I've never said that ALL of them are out to get you nor that she SURELY is, I was simply trying to help you by pointing out, naively believing you really were "looking forward to any advice or opinions", the most likely scenario...

[jeebusjones]

I'm bashing the likelihood of meeting a good, honest person over the internet. Very, very unlikely, IMHO.

Yes,

I always warn Thai women that the chances of meeting a good honest Farang on the Internet, are very very small indeed.

Even smaller than meeting a good honest Farang who is already in Thailand.

Yes it certainly works both ways. I'd pity a girl who met me over the internet!

[Maigo6]

I already have a happy and healthy sentimental and sexual life

Oh, that's what they call now.........

Must be political correctness.

Edited May 3, 2007 by Maigo6

[endure]

It's time to calm down, boys. It would also be useful if you'd run your eyes over rule 3 again (you have read it before, haven't you?):

3) Religious or racial slurs, rude and degrading comments towards women, or extremely negative views of Thailand will not be tolerated.

[BAF]

whatever happened to the theory of unique individuals.

It's never been as Asian "theory".........

Individualities and individual thinking are ACTIVELY DISCOURAGED in Asia and certainly in Thailand.

Note for the blind daydreaming black&white folks: that doesn't equate to saying they are clones and that in Asia there aren't individualities and individual thinking.

That simply means that you find much less individual thinking here than in the (Western) countries where individual thinking is actively encouraged.

[BAF]

I already have a happy and healthy sentimental and sexual life

Oh, that's what they call now.........

Must be political correctness.

Why is w.anking the first thing that your mind associate to a "happy and healthy sentimental and sexual life"......?