Who pays on the first date?

 

Where i come from it's a big  no no for the woman to offer to pay anything on the first date.  Second date you can offer to buy them a drink but paying on a first date especially if they ask you is seen as offensive and can possibly turn guys off.  

 

I earn 2 or 3 times more, I'd rather go grateful and humble than trying to show off or take over.  So now I don't know whether I should offer to pay or just let him take care of it.

 

I'm white, he's Thai.

 

Worth mentioning is i want to take things slow, I am only interested in building on a friendship first and see where things go.  I've been single for 3 years by choice and this is the first guy that I can honestly see myself with, but tip toeing, one toe in at a time.  When I mean slow, I mean really slow.

Interesting to know about yours age... 

 

27 minutes ago, Jessica777 said:

 

Who pays on the first date?

 

Irrelevant.

 

36 minutes ago, Jessica777 said:

 

Where i come from it's a big  no no for the woman to offer to pay anything on the first date.

But you want equality with men.

 

 

I always keep it balanced...If I buy dinner she gets movie--or vice versa.....I never allow any "leverage" so it never comes up in future arguments....or if you want a shared relationship or a one sided one

 

Some here opt to pay as they go......I earn love--I dont pay for it...money buys goods and "services"..ahem

So you can feel relaxed, and given your earnings,  I would recommend paying your way.  He'll probably get the gist of how you are feeling.

If he feels strongly about paying you could let him pay on the  first date.  Then you can push to pay your way, or for both, after that. 

He can pay for the odd cheaper date e.g. movies  but you could help with more expensive nights at nice restaurants etc. Depends on his ego and his confidence.

Sometimes I think paying for everything becomes a bore and it would be nice to have the tables turned from time to time. He might feel the same.  

Edited November 12, 20205 yr by Fat is a type of crazy

Gotta let em drill from the get go. Least one anyway and knee padding is essential too. You pay. No issues whatsoever. If he bro he his mates pay for them too.

Simple , begin as you intend to go on. Set boundaries, explain your reasoning for EQUALITY and retaining independence within a supportive relatonship as it develops .

 

I don’t think there should be an automatic presumption on the woman’s part that the man pays on the first date. It’s not that unusual nowadays for the woman to earn more than the man. If you like the guy then at the end of the evening offer to pay and tell him he can pay on the next date ... if he then offers to pay then suggest going 50/50. I wouldn’t let someone pay who earned a great deal less than me.

Is he a motorbike taxi or Tuk Tuk driver?

If so, then you should probably offer to pay.

Edited November 12, 20205 yr by bkk6060

Is this the dear Abby column?... 

6 minutes ago, ezzra said:

Is this the dear Abby column?... 

Dear Abby I am into bestiality, necrophilia &   flagellation...... is there any hope for me, or am I just flogging a dead horse.....

And off the rails the OP goes.  To Answer the question it should be split as you pay for yourself and he pays for his. Build on it from there if it is slowly moving from friendship to who knows where and good luck.  

Pay him to leave!

Don't upset him, they are renowned for their bad temper and fragility!

A  first date for lunch or dinner:

 

Thai Food Menú;

Noodles and Kao pad... You pay.

A second date:

 

Falang food Menú;

Appetizers, Cheeseboard, Australian Ribeye Steak, Spanish red wine Bottle,  Mix salad, Coffee and Tiramisú... He pay.

 

Third date... He will disappear of your life.

 

 

Edited November 13, 20205 yr by Tarteso

Insist on  50/50 .

One of my first dates in BKK was with a lovely, older, professional lady. When the bill came, I was like, "Oh, X amount, not too bad. Here, I got Y amount". (Where Y was half, I don't remember the amount.)

 

I wasn't sure what would happen. But there was no problem, she immediately came out with the other half. I didn't expect that to work with the younger ladies, and their less lucrative careers.

Going on a date in Thailand, thats boring

On my first (and subsequent dates) my Bangkok lady insisted on paying...you are my guest she would say...got stung for a few thousand baht though a couple of years later

50/50 is fair

21 hours ago, ezzra said:

Is this the dear Abby column?... 

•  
• In a way, yes it is.   This  section of the forum is specifically titled   " Ladies in Thailand "

The Topics sidebar on the right never mentions the section of the forum the post is in and it's easy to forget to check. At least that's how I got here.

With only one post , the OP is probably looking elsewhere for female to female advice.........

 

 

 

 

Edited November 13, 20205 yr by Seth1a2a

I like wimmins what pays, and have their own mop and bucket, iron, broom, and washboard

Otherwise, I cant be bovvered.

You should pay on the first date, once you have spent 100s thousands setting him up in various business ventures...if by chance any of them work...he should at least offer to pay

If you ask him out on a first date, you pay . If you are only hooking up as friends, insist on paying half.

I think she posted this in the Ladies forum because she wanted advice from women.

 

Also think mot many if any of the men chiming in here have dated a Thai man.

 

OP: If he asked you out then he pays. Vice versa if you asked him. In Thailand normally the host pays.

 

It is also the norm in dating for the male to pay but among established couples not unusual to share costs or take turns paying...however many Thai men will be more comfortable if you slip him money so that he appears to pay the full check.

 

Obviously, if you are involved in picking the venue, take care to suggest someplace well within his means.

 

And you might also find tactful ways to contribute to costs like buying tickets for an event ahead of time.

Ask his wife.

On 11/13/2020 at 6:51 AM, PatOngo said:

Don't upset him, they are renowned for their bad temper and fragility!

You forgot to mention their short arms and very deep pockets

It very much depends on both of your personalities and backgrounds. My husband of 10 years who is Thai initially paid for the first few dates, they were not very expensive dates, but the gesture was appreciated. 

 

ps. You might want to find out about joining the private women's board on TV forum for future relationship questions etc.

On 11/13/2020 at 3:41 AM, Jessica777 said:

Who pays on the first date?

 

Where i come from it's a big  no no for the woman to offer to pay anything on the first date.  Second date you can offer to buy them a drink but paying on a first date especially if they ask you is seen as offensive and can possibly turn guys off.  

 

I earn 2 or 3 times more, I'd rather go grateful and humble than trying to show off or take over.  So now I don't know whether I should offer to pay or just let him take care of it.

 

I'm white, he's Thai.

 

Worth mentioning is i want to take things slow, I am only interested in building on a friendship first and see where things go.  I've been single for 3 years by choice and this is the first guy that I can honestly see myself with, but tip toeing, one toe in at a time.  When I mean slow, I mean really slow.

 

My better half (Thai woman, 38)  tells me that Thai men are notorious for drinking, cheating and expecting you to pay for everything.

Edited January 10, 20215 yr by 2530Ubon

If you want to keep it platonic for an extended period of time, only fair that you pay your half. Not sure how many Thai guys would be comfortable with that, however few guys anywhere would be comfortable paying for their "friends" half for an extended period. You are basically "hanging out", which is cool, if he understands the extended time line. 

 

I have gal friends I hang out with, and we usually split things. Most insist. The ones who don't (self entitled user types in LA), we don't end up hanging out much, anyway. Gotta keep it fair. 

20 minutes ago, 2530Ubon said:

 

My better half (Thai woman, 38)  tells me that Thai men are notorious for drinking, cheating and expecting you to pay for everything.

Makes a change from women expecting men to pay