The Ideal Woman

[The Gentleman Scamp]

How many of us are currently single?

The following are my requirements for a Thai woman good enough to spend the rest of my life with.

The requirements are listed in order of importance.

1: Her English is good enough to understand and laugh at most BBC comedy programs but she doesn't have an irritating U.K. or (worse) U.S. accent and she's proud to be Thai and her personality hasn't been westernised.

She's her own person but still a loyal companion who shows vulnerability at times but also has a witty, dominant side and sometimes takes the piss out of me when I deserve it. She's had a complicated life but not a bad one and we can relate to each other and have a lot in common. She's intelligent and experienced in the school of life and is between 22 and 32.

2: She get's along with my friends, Thai and farang, male and female, and I get along with hers.

3: She's really really good looking and has a fantastic pair of tits.

4: She's no boring, goody goody virgin but she's no slag and has had boyfriends before but she didn't fancy them as much as me. She has a high sex drive but is very faithful. She's not into kinky stuff but is adventurous and likes a quicky in the morning before breakfast.

5: She cleans my room but won't tolerate too much laziness on my part, she's no maid and won't be treated like one. She doesn't mind cooking and enjoys giving me massages. She's a trained masseuse and hairdresser so I get free hair cuts too.

6: She's not rich as such, but she's doing well for herself and doesn't want or need a boyfriend for financial reasons. She likes to be treated once in a while but doesn't like to be pampered like a baby, she's very financially independant.

7: Bonus if she drives a car but hardly a requirment - nothing to fancy, Honda Civic or something, but she doesn't have any iritating fukcing soppy soft toys on the back seat or hanging from the mirror and she certainly doesn't have a little 'sock' for her mobile phone.

8: She doesn't spend much time on her mobile when we're together but she has a ringtone nobody else has, maybe a classic British pop song; 'House Of Fun' by Madness for example.

9: She's been to other countries but she's never flown before, and one day when we were really well established and loved up I could enjoy her first flying experience and hold her hand and joke with her that the sound of the undercarriage going up is actually the wing rivets coming lose and watch her shit herself.

She would like to visit England but doesn't wish to live there.

10: Her ideal man is about thirty years old, reasonably handsome with a good heart, a great conversationist. She's always wanted somebody who can be both very funny and serious and who is multi talented, witty and clever. He has tattoos but you wouldn't think it to look at him. They are only on his upper arms and they are very original and he is slim but not skinny and likes to dress smartly occasionaly. He likes talking on expat discussion forums and doesn't eat enough.

He doesn't have a huge knob but it's certainly alright and he knows what to do with it.

11: Forgot about this - this is actually quite a high requirement that should be listed way above number 11 but she is NOT camera shy and doesn't go all stupid and shy and girlie when a camera is stuck in her face. She's happy with herself physically but not arrogant.

12: She likes cats and would also let me have a pet snake if I wanted.

Does anybody know her?

[andyinkat]

Does anybody know her?

No but if you find 2 this side of Alpha Centuri can I have the other one?

[rainman]

oih..

[stroll]

What's 'oih..'?

We are still waiting to read details concerning your new special person, Rainman.

[Khun Larry]

Statistically, your chances of finding a Thai girl with all or even many, of these characteristics is very very small.

Chookdee na.

[pnustedt]

No worries, NASA working on it - prototype ready in 3 months.

[Connor McCloud]

I'm just of out for the night ,at least I now know what I'm looking for.

[KevinN]

Well I don't think you gonna ever find her, # 11 is about all you are going to get,most love to have their pics taken, But you just keep on dreamin and learn to cook for yourself.maybe learn to sweep the floors too,as you gonna need to.

Now what I was lookin for at your age was a lot easier to find

one about waist high,flat spot on top of her head for a place to set your beer,and love to give aw, play the aw, well you know. and if she was a perfect 10 then she would turn into a pizza and a 6 pack at midnite.

PS. don't get caught smokin that stuff here, they tough on it anymore. good quality tho.

"OH" yea,,realistic requirements,,,, boy you are a very funny man,maybe get on stage at a farang club with a stand up act with your accordion, 55555 funny man

[ambassador]

oih..

What sort of post is that Rainman? And is that really you in your avatar you ponce?

Why can't you be anonymous and mysterious like the rest of us?

Anyway, I'd be happy with a girl who had 1,3, and 4... Had a quick look on Bangkok Chat but couldn't think of an original chat up line.

[medicinebox]

Thats a lot of requirements.

Cant you just make do with a prostitute?

I have been living with one for 2 months now.

Requisites:

3 holer.

Cooks.

Cleans.

Can suck start a Harley.

She's 26, no kids, no stretchmarks, slim and pretty, and costs 350bht a day.

When I go back to the UK, she will go back to the bars. No problem if you don't become attached to them.

Anyone else hiring prostitutes on here?

[stroll]

A few years ago I would have asked you where you met her, but at present, no I am not hiring a prostitute.

[Wolfie]

Thats a lot of requirements.

Cant you just make do with a prostitute?

I have been living with one for 2 months now.

Requisites:

3 holer.

Cooks.

Cleans.

Can suck start a Harley.

She's 26, no kids, no stretchmarks, slim and pretty, and costs 350bht a day.

When I go back to the UK, she will go back to the bars. No problem if you don't become attached to them.

Anyone else hiring prostitutes on here?

Email me

[Bluecat]

Any realistic requirement.

Any unrealistic requirement.

They all go off the window when you think she's the one, whatever it means,...

[Darknight]

The ideal woman ???

eeeuuhhhh 1 meter high with a flat head and big ears

you figure it out....lol

[Bluecat]

The ideal woman ???

eeeuuhhhh 1 meter high with a flat head and big ears

Big fan of Star Wars.

Aren't you?

[Boon Mee]

].

1: Her English is good enough to understand and laugh at most BBC comedy programs but she doesn't have an irritating U.K. or (worse) U.S. accent

Right...let's hear it for those Babes from Hartlepool!

[chingy_]

How many of us are currently single?

The following are my requirements for a Thai woman good enough to spend the rest of my life with.

The requirements are listed in order of importance.

1: Her English is good enough to understand and laugh at most BBC comedy programs but she doesn't have an irritating U.K. or (worse) U.S. accent and she's proud to be Thai and her personality hasn't been westernised.

She's her own person but still a loyal companion who shows vulnerability at times but also has a witty, dominant side and sometimes takes the piss out of me when I deserve it. She's had a complicated life but not a bad one and we can relate to each other and have a lot in common. She's intelligent and experienced in the school of life and is between 22 and 32.

2: She get's along with my friends, Thai and farang, male and female, and I get along with hers.

3: She's really really good looking and has a fantastic pair of tits.

4: She's no boring, goody goody virgin but she's no slag and has had boyfriends before but she didn't fancy them as much as me. She has a high sex drive but is very faithful. She's not into kinky stuff but is adventurous and likes a quicky in the morning before breakfast.

5: She cleans my room but won't tolerate too much laziness on my part, she's no maid and won't be treated like one. She doesn't mind cooking and enjoys giving me massages. She's a trained masseuse and hairdresser so I get free hair cuts too.

6: She's not rich as such, but she's doing well for herself and doesn't want or need a boyfriend for financial reasons. She likes to be treated once in a while but doesn't like to be pampered like a baby, she's very financially independant.

7: Bonus if she drives a car but hardly a requirment - nothing to fancy, Honda Civic or something, but she doesn't have any iritating fukcing soppy soft toys on the back seat or hanging from the mirror and she certainly doesn't have a little 'sock' for her mobile phone.

8: She doesn't spend much time on her mobile when we're together but she has a ringtone nobody else has, maybe a classic British pop song; 'House Of Fun' by Madness for example.

9: She's been to other countries but she's never flown before, and one day when we were really well established and loved up I could enjoy her first flying experience and hold her hand and joke with her that the sound of the undercarriage going up is actually the wing rivets coming lose and watch her shit herself.

She would like to visit England but doesn't wish to live there.

10: Her ideal man is about thirty years old, reasonably handsome with a good heart, a great conversationist. She's always wanted somebody who can be both very funny and serious and who is multi talented, witty and clever. He has tattoos but you wouldn't think it to look at him. They are only on his upper arms and they are very original and he is slim but not skinny and likes to dress smartly occasionaly. He likes talking on expat discussion forums and doesn't eat enough.

He doesn't have a huge knob but it's certainly alright and he knows what to do with it.

11: Forgot about this - this is actually quite a high requirement that should be listed way above number 11 but she is NOT camera shy and doesn't go all stupid and shy and girlie when a camera is stuck in her face. She's happy with herself physically but not arrogant.

12: She likes cats and would also let me have a pet snake if I wanted.

Does anybody know her?

1. master degree in cornel, english no problem

2. get along with friend and family, no problem there

3. i swear she look good 5 year ago, kinda chubby now, the tits is still there actually got bigger the last time i check.

4. 5year and counting no problem there/ been trying to have one on an airplane restroom

5. she hate clean got a maid instead/ sorry no masseuse or hair dresser in this family all master grad

6. financial stable no problem

7. yup she drive, but scare the shitt outta me, middle class car not to expensive anything from mil to mil half, no big deal

8. hand phone all the time/ have a business to run

9. she been flying to other country more than i do

10. her ideal man is me, nuff said

11. ........

12. she like dog, big dog to be exact

honestly the truth

chingy

[tatom]

I wish the girlfriends had a thread here, where they could talk about you guys. Now, THAT would be interesting!

[davethailand]

found her, live with her and now married her.

if you don't believe me then come and meet her otherwise you can kiss my hairy bean bag.

[Guest fj2003]

please were are the girls in these thread i wonna listenread to your shout please

but mine she read it and just turned around without anything

and she is going for every point expect no

5 (my cut is 1mm daily), 9 (she likes travelling),

and sorry i don't need a ****cleaning woman'***,

thanks her a lot and i love her

[Padkapow Guy]

The ideal woman ???

eeeuuhhhh 1 meter high with a flat head and big ears

you figure it out....lol

you forgot no "teeth"

[TizMe]

found her, live with her and now married her.

if you don't believe me then come and meet her otherwise you can kiss my hairy bean bag.

I found another, she has agreed to marry me.

But I reserve kissing of my hairy bean bag for her only. (she calls it the bag of diamonds)

[rainman]

oih..

What sort of post is that Rainman? And is that really you in your avatar you ponce?

yes, my avatar is me. if you dont like it, just let me know. at least people who read my posts know who they're talking to. whats wrong with that? yeah my response was a little short i know. to the thread starter, i think maybe you're a little too picky. sorry, i'm having a long day.

[Darknight]

The ideal woman ???

eeeuuhhhh    1 meter high with a flat head and big ears 

you figure it out....lol

you forgot no "teeth"

indeed padkapow , i forgot

anybody else figured out what the flat head is for ?

[chonabot]

The ideal woman ???

eeeuuhhhh    1 meter high with a flat head and big ears 

you figure it out....lol

you forgot no "teeth"

indeed padkapow , i forgot

anybody else figured out what the flat head is for ?

Indeed , tis to rest your pint of ale whilst receiving drainage of the trousersnake, no?

[Pink Mist]

The ideal woman ???

eeeuuhhhh    1 meter high with a flat head and big ears 

you figure it out....lol

you forgot no "teeth"

indeed padkapow , i forgot

anybody else figured out what the flat head is for ?

Indeed , tis to rest your pint of ale whilst receiving drainage of the trousersnake, no?

The big ears are a new addition to and old favourite, are they handles perhaps?

[bigchang]

i found her,married her and live with her in england,so vyou got no chance of meeting her,but i'm sure there is many more in los and you might get lucky,just don't be to picky.

and another point is her family is great too,doesn't drain money out of us etc.

can't wait to come back to los soon and eventually live there

[Bluecat]

i'm sure there is many more in los and you might get lucky,just don't be to picky

What do you mean?

If we're lucky, we do not have to be picky.

If we're picky, we have to be lucky,...

[bigchang]

i'm sure there is many more in los and you might get lucky,just don't be to picky

What do you mean?

If we're lucky, we do not have to be picky.

If we're picky, we have to be lucky,...

good point,what i mean is if you to to picky then you might never be lucky,so you might as well have to allow on one or two of the points

[Bluecat]

What's 'oih..'?

Depends how you pronounce it.

But in Thai, it can mean, well, something related to my avatar,...