Dilemma - Thai Lady Marries Man 30 Years Older

[ghengis]

In a few weeks time, my wife and I will stay with one of my wife's school friends in the North of England. This friend came to the UK on 2 Visitor Visas and now has just arrived in the UK after getting married to an older Englishman. She is 45 and her husband is 75 and rich.

She was divorced in Thailand with no job and only a little money. She met the man when she was visiting England. He obviously liked her, but she was not that interested in him. Her friend in the UK persuaded her to get married to this man, but she is here is a relationship with no feelings on her part.

What should she do? She could pretend to love her husband. He has already suffered one heart attack and probably won’t last another 5 years. He is worth about a million pounds sterling. Or she could go back and be poor again in Thailand.

[chonabot]

It's about time she grew up and made her own freakin mind up for Christsakes...

[andyinkat]

What should she do? She could pretend to love her husband. He has already suffered one heart attack and probably won’t last another 5 years. He is worth about a million pounds sterling. Or she could go back and be poor again in Thailand.

A rhetorical question presumably? The wording doesn't exactly invite room for debate. Since when has 'love' been paramount in marriage for a Thai anyway?

[stroll]

You have invented this story, 100%. Are you claiming she doesn't love him but marries him for the money? Don't be ridiculous...

[chonabot]

Since when has 'love' been paramount in marriage for a Thai anyway?

Care to expand on your notion/theory etc?

[Begs]

You have invented this story, 100%. Are you claiming she doesn't love him but marries him for the money? Don't be ridiculous...

Ghengis is yet another Troll.......................

If she was divorced and had been left with nothing, how was she able to visit the uk?

Another pathetic attempt to start a thread that paint Thai women in a bad Light.

[Yohan]

What should she do? She could pretend to love her husband. He has already suffered one heart attack and probably won’t last another 5 years. He is worth about a million pounds sterling. Or she could go back and be poor again in Thailand.

What can she do in her regrettable situation?

1. divorce: she might leave him just now and will receive ONLY 800000 pounds....

(this is 80 percent of his property - this is the European Christianity style of the way of life)

2. inheritage: she must wait a little bit longer and will receive 1.000.000 pounds (this is the Thai Buddhist style of the way of life)

Great sentimental story of a poor and helpless Thai girl, who left Thailand in the hope to find the perfect guy with the big money in Europe....and found deeply disappointed only an old man who owns ridiculous 1.000.000,- pounds......

nice fairly-tale for the children to go sleeping....or do you think, I believe such nonsense.....

[KevinN]

Or to make this story real interesting.

You could tell her to go down to the cop shop and check on a drivers license or some other lame info,just so she would have an alibi..

Then as soon as she has left,,you go in and bash the guys brains out,she comes home and calls the cops.

They pronounce him DOA and she gets a M. pounds,and she gives you half,comes back to Thailand and marries a young stud 1/2 her age,and all live happily ever after.

Now don't that sound better?

[Begs]

. Since when has 'love' been paramount in marriage for a Thai anyway?

For a guy that has never set foot in Thailand, you have sure formed some good opinions of Thai people. You should fit in well with the old cynics that get pissed all day at a corner shop, putting the worlds wrongs to right, and generally moaning about everything?

Tosser.

[dr_Pat_Pong]

He warrants a severe warning. MODIFY YOUR ATTITUDE or GO GO GO last chance

[dr_Pat_Pong]

Or to make this story real interesting.

You could tell her to go down to the cop shop and check on a drivers license or some other lame info,just so she would have an alibi..

Then as soon as she has left,,you go in and bash the guys brains out,she comes home and calls the cops.

They pronounce him DOA and she gets a M. pounds,and she gives you half,comes back to Thailand and marries a young stud 1/2 her age,and all live happily ever after.

Now don't that sound better?

Don't start again Kev. P L E A S E

[pnustedt]

Tell her not to kiss him - he'll turn into a frog!

[exp9696]

I d'ont think i'ts for the money,A verry lucky man ( like he won the lottery )

Yep ANOTHER FUNERAL

[Bluecat]

She was divorced in Thailand with no job and only a little money. She met the man when she was visiting England.

Even fairy tales are more believable.

But of course, they're better written,...

[andyinkat]

QUOTE (andyinkat @ Fri 2004-06-18, 23:03:25)

Since when has 'love' been paramount in marriage for a Thai anyway? 

Care to expand on your notion/theory etc?

Okay sorry. my comment was clearly too concise, leading to complete misunderstanding.

I will expand. What I mean is that in Thailand, as in other parts of Asia where I do have extensive experience, marriage is regarded in a much more pragmatic sense. I should have said that security is more important than love, and I should have clarified that when I say 'love' I mean the romantic lovey-dovey stuff that has overtaken western culture only in the last century or less.

Far from being cynical I am very much in favour of this approach. My cynicism is reserved for the western model, of which I have been a repeated victim (once the initial high is over my previous partners have sought similar in other relationships).

Still a vast generalisation and you have every right to flame me, but this is what I meant by my earlier comment. The reason I didn't expand earlier was that I adjudged that the OP wasn't serious so I couldn't be bothered.

[Bluecat]

marriage is regarded in a much more pragmatic sense. I should have said that security is more important than love,

Pragmatism is still very prevalent in many countries and was in many western countries, not that long ago human history wise.

The reason why it is less common these days is that women CAN work and have their own source of income.

So "love" plays a bigger role.

For better or for worse.

But Thailand is still not at the level of the western world.

Far from it.

Bangkok and the Thai Chinese girls everybody likes to talk about are a very small part of Thailand.

And not necessarily the best one,...

[ghengis]

This story happens to be true.

The lady was sponsored for Visitor Visas by her best friend (another Thai lady) who has lived in the UK for 15 years and runs her own business. She stayed with this friend for the Visitor Visas.

[Begs]

This story happens to be true.

The lady was sponsored for Visitor Visas by her best friend (another Thai lady) who has lived in the UK for 15 years and runs her own business. She stayed with this friend for the Visitor Visas.

So you think that asking people on this Forum for advice will achieve what?

What do you want people to say?

1. Stay in England ?

2. Do not stay in England ?

What a dilemma, i am sure that the forum members are having sleepless nights with this little poser.

She is 45, she was your wifes friend at school, so your wife is the same age, her best friend has a business and has been in the UK for 15 years, so between the 3 of them there is a lot of years on this earth, i am sure that they can come up with the correct solution, i am sure a 45 year old Thai woman that has the choice of being rich or being poor, does not find herself in any dilemma at all.

[ghengis]

Actually, I was thinking of advising the lady to separate with her husband she has no feelings for. She can stay with her friend in the UK for 2 years until her visa expires.

It seems I am in a minority of one in this opinion.

[andyinkat]

Minority of one maybe, but since you're the only one here that knows her I'd say your view is the one that counts!

Take other posters' views into consideration by all means, but rely heavily on your own intuition and judgement.

And good luck!

[Payne]

I cannot for the life of me see anything wrong with this marriage, except in my opinion the lady might be a bit on the old side.

The woman can damm well learn to love her husband and if some years later she doesn't , then she will be adequately compensated when he goes off to the happy hunting grounds.

My 25 year old GTG wants desperately to marry me, but then I'm only 42 years older than her. It must be my sex appeal that attacts her! Unfortunately, I have done enough marriages already to contemplate another just now......

Forget chronological age. People are as old as they feel and act.

[john b good]

He warrants a severe warning. MODIFY YOUR ATTITUDE or GO GO GO last chance

I have difficulty in seeing where "he" in his original post might have offended someone (but perhaps "he" has a history)

Perhaps as I have admitted previously, I must have a fairly thick skin.

On the thread I can only offer up another example.

I have a friend who is 85 and his lady is 35.

She had nothing until he came along and now she has some financial security for herself and her children (from previous relationship's)

From my observation the arrangement is working just fine although no one knows what goes on behind closed doors (do they)

She takes very good care of him and he still gets his nookie and she seems to be happy with her situation.

And as a result of her investment (in time) she will, when he goes upstairs inherit sufficient of the folding stuff to ensure she is comfortable for the rest of her time on planet earth (providing her family don't get their mitts on her money that is)

All of these arrangements have pluses and minuses I am sure.

And I don't really think that the lady (as in the original thread) will do too badly out of it all unless of course her life is sheer ###### on earth.

[NedKelly]

Wheres that genius maerim....he would make a great contribution to this thread.

[Khutan]

One way of looking at this is; he is 75, ok, lots of Viagra and hopefully she can "Hang On" fot the inheritance.

[Begs]

Minority of one maybe, but since you're the only one here that knows her I'd say your view is the one that counts!

Take other posters' views into consideration by all means, but rely heavily on your own intuition and judgement.

And good luck!

Yea, i get the feeling that he is a really intuitive type of guy...................