How young is too young?

[Nick in Thailand]

I've been offered a job in Surin and a couple of other remote(ish) places, so I check out tinder in that location and I'm getting 19 and 20 year old girls liking me. 

 

I'm 40 years old. I'm a bit curious to be honest, I never normally go that young, mostly because they must be annoying as <deleted> to talk to on a date. But, physically, yes, they are attractive. 

 

That would be a bad look at my school though, surely? 40 year old dating a girl that was at that school just 2 years ago. 

 

I'm thinking of dating in the next town over if I want a date that young. 

 

Am I reprobate? Thoughts? 

[polpott]

My parents had a 13 year age gap. I was 5 years older than my first wife, 10 years older than my second wife and 20 years older than my third wife. if I find another wife I fully intend her to be 40 years younger than me.

 

Guys don't really get old. Women wear out real quick.

[Nick in Thailand]

8 minutes ago, polpott said:

My parents had a 13 year age gap. I was 5 years older than my first wife, 10 years older than my second wife and 20 years older than my third wife. if I find another wife I fully intend her to be 40 years younger than me.

 

Guys don't really get old. Women wear out real quick.

That's personal preference, you do what makes you happy.

 

My question is more about having the respect of the Thai community and my Thai colleagues. How would they look upon 40yo teacher with 20yo student? I don't want to be a local sex pest in the eyes of the locals. 

 

Where is the line.as a 40yo? 19? 18?

Edited March 27, 2021 by Nick in Thailand

[ezzra]

Mate, my advise to you is is to enjoy the attention while you can and as long as the girls are over the age of consent you're good to go because there will be times that you'd be longing for a female attention and non will be there to be found...

[Nick in Thailand]

1 minute ago, ezzra said:

Mate, my advise to you is is to enjoy the attention while you can and as long as the girls are over the age of consent you're good to go because there will be times that you'd be longing for a female attention and non will be there to be found...

If I was just on holiday that would totally be my attitude. But I'm living and working in Thailand and don't want to take a dump in the punch bowl, so to speak. 

[Muzzique]

It depends on the girl. And depends on you. Age is a number but if your souls are both at the same maturity it works whatever the difference.

 

My friend ran a reputable marriage agency for Thai girls and foreign men for over 30 years in Northern Thailand. He and his Thai wife told me that the marriages that work best are the ones when the age difference is around 22-25 years. Where the girl is past her teens and into her early to mid 20's and beyond. That doesn't mean nothing else works, but those are the ones where they told me it tends to stick well and that in their experience have lasted the test of time.

 

Whilst you are probably not looking for marriage, it's appears to be the kind of level of age difference where things will click better. That's if you're looking for a girlfriend as opposed to a f##k buddy.

 

Some girls like a father type figure, some are just more mature in their tastes and views on life.

 

Others prefer someone to be stable and ready for a relationship. Not every girl wants to go through bedsit land and living hand to mouth while they and their partner work towards a steady income and home. Its easier for them just find a man who already has it and cut out the 10-20 years of struggling.

 

Just play it by ear

Most good Thai women respect maturity and trust. Age doesn't come into it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited March 27, 2021 by Muzzique

[tonray]

3 hours ago, Nick in Thailand said:

My question is more about having the respect of the Thai community and my Thai colleagues. How would they look upon 40yo teacher with 20yo student? I don't want to be a local sex pest in the eyes of the locals. 

You've already answered your own question....

[Ventenio]

if over 18 and not a student, i don't have a problem.  you might have a problem, lol, but I don't have a problem.  yes, you will be a sexpat to all their friends, community, etc...but it's not the worst.

 

if a student at your school and you are in a position of trust, then that seems wrong.  it's probably legal, but highly unethical.  then i would question if this teacher wants even younger......sick

 

if you think you can date a girl who is 18, then you need to go see someone.   even 25 at your age is impossible long-term.  then you have to ask why you can't talk to women your own age.  hook up is fine....have fun.   

[Nick in Thailand]

3 minutes ago, Ventenio said:

if over 18 and not a student, i don't have a problem.  you might have a problem, lol, but I don't have a problem.  yes, you will be a sexpat to all their friends, community, etc...but it's not the worst.

 

if a student at your school and you are in a position of trust, then that seems wrong.  it's probably legal, but highly unethical.  then i would question if this teacher wants even younger......sick

 

if you think you can date a girl who is 18, then you need to go see someone.   even 25 at your age is impossible long-term.  then you have to ask why you can't talk to women your own age.  hook up is fine....have fun.   

I do not want a serious relationship with an 18 year-old. However, the occasional meal and drink and intimacy, perhaps. I'm interested to explore how I feel about that. That is quite a young age (19/20) but I'm intrigued. 

[Olmate]

Perhaps if you concentrate on the job first u may be in a better position .Or is that not your priority?

[Nick in Thailand]

Just now, Olmate said:

Perhaps if you concentrate on the job first u may be in a better position .Or is that not your priority?

What position do you recommend? 

[simon43]

If you're concerned about what your Thai colleagues may think of this relationship, then don't do it!  As I'm sure you're well aware, the Thai 'grapevine' will have this knowledge of your relationship distributed far and wide in the bat of an eye!  The fact that you're a teacher makes it IMHO, a serious issue, because I think you will lose any respect that your Thai colleagues may have for you.  Sorry, but it just reinforces the believe that all foreigners just came to Thailand for young 'kitty'.

[petermik]

You must have a lack of maturity to ask such a question,everyone has a different opinion on what the answer would be...I suggest dating someone that YOU feel comfortable with,age should not come into it....as for the thoughts of the local community if you choose a young girl some will think perv if you choose an older lady others will think why you don,t have a pretty young girl......enjoy life while you can and ignore what others opinions are....it,s what makes you happy that counts.

[Nick in Thailand]

1 minute ago, simon43 said:

If you're concerned about what your Thai colleagues may think of this relationship, then don't do it!  As I'm sure you're well aware, the Thai 'grapevine' will have this knowledge of your relationship distributed far and wide in the bat of an eye!  The fact that you're a teacher makes it IMHO, a serious issue, because I think you will lose any respect that your Thai colleagues may have for you.  Sorry, but it just reinforces the believe that all foreigners just came to Thailand for young 'kitty'.

OK. So, I'd appreciate a safe number. Do I have to bang only 30 +? 

I'm thinking of just spending weekends in the next city over and have my kitties there. 

[Nick in Thailand]

2 hours ago, Muzzique said:

It depends on the girl. And depends on you. Age is a number but if your souls are both at the same maturity it works whatever the difference.

 

My friend ran a reputable marriage agency for Thai girls and foreign men for over 30 years in Northern Thailand. He and his Thai wife told me that the marriages that work best are the ones when the age difference is around 22-25 years. Where the girl is past her teens and into her early to mid 20's and beyond. That doesn't mean nothing else works, but those are the ones where they told me it tends to stick well and that in their experience have lasted the test of time.

 

Whilst you are probably not looking for marriage, it's appears to be the kind of level of age difference where things will click better. That's if you're looking for a girlfriend as opposed to a f##k buddy.

 

Some girls like a father type figure, some are just more mature in their tastes and views on life.

 

Others prefer someone to be stable and ready for a relationship. Not every girl wants to go through bedsit land and living hand to mouth while they and their partner work towards a steady income and home. Its easier for them just find a man who already has it and cut out the 10-20 years of struggling.

 

Just play it by ear

Most good Thai women respect maturity and trust. Age doesn't come into it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

This was a great answer. 

[Olmate]

5 minutes ago, Nick in Thailand said:

What position do you recommend? 

Job offer withdrawn !

[WineOh]

5 hours ago, Nick in Thailand said:

I've been offered a job in Surin and a couple of other remote(ish) places, so I check out tinder in that location and I'm getting 19 and 20 year old girls liking me. 

smash away, son. smash away....

[Nick in Thailand]

2 minutes ago, Olmate said:

Job offer withdrawn !

Some industry-leading corporate lawyers like to be a human toilet for trannies on the weekend. Does it affect their performance in the courtroom? 

However, the wagging fingers of Thailand's expat Puritans come out for a 40 year old man, ruminating over whether he would date a young woman. 

[Nick in Thailand]

1 minute ago, WineOh said:

smash away, son. smash away....

Thank you for the moral support sir. 

[cooked]

Thais do this kind of stuff all the time, not that certain jealous tongues don't wag. 

Just avoid your students, girls from 'ambitious' families that actually push their daughter to 'find a Farang'.  Be prepared to meet the family, at which point your eyes will be opened, one way or the other.

[Nick in Thailand]

5 minutes ago, cooked said:

Thais do this kind of stuff all the time, not that certain jealous tongues don't wag. 

Just avoid your students, girls from 'ambitious' families that actually push their daughter to 'find a Farang'.  Be prepared to meet the family, at which point your eyes will be opened, one way or the other.

I'm curious what you mean. If I have a relationship of sorts with a 19yo, I would meet the family? Eek. The father would be my age. And then what? 

 

Please tell me more about these ambitious families. 

[Peterw42]

OP, have you ever stopped to consider the 20 year olds pressing like on tinder are working girls, they are not looking for a date, they are looking for a customer.

I think you may find the number of 20 year olds looking to date you, or hook up for casual sex, may be a lot less than you think.

 

 

[bkk6060]

Geez, you are young for them.

Here, 30 years younger is my minimum.   More the better actually looking forward when I am older to 50 year difference.

Go enjoy it.

Edited March 28, 2021 by bkk6060

[tonray]

Just now, Peterw42 said:

OP, have you ever stopped to consider the 20 year olds pressing like on tinder are working girls, they are not looking for a date, they are looking for a customer.

I think you may find the number of 20 year olds looking to date you, or hook up for casual sex, may be a lot less than you think.

 

 

You mean all these 20 yr olds are not looking for a middle age sexpat working at teaching English  ? Say it aint so !

[Nick in Thailand]

2 minutes ago, Peterw42 said:

OP, have you ever stopped to consider the 20 year olds pressing like on tinder are working girls, they are not looking for a date, they are looking for a customer.

I think you may find the number of 20 year olds looking to date you, or hook up for casual sex, may be a lot less than you think.

 

 

These are not working girls. Look real ordinary, not particularly hot, girls. 

[Ventenio]

this is anonymous for a reason.......much better if on Facebook so his friends, family, and people back home can see his true intentions...

 

so yea......post whatever.   i am 99 and have 10000 19-year old gf's and they don't judge me.  yea, give me keys to the classroom.....my mom said, "get it!!!"

[Nick in Thailand]

2 minutes ago, tonray said:

You mean all these 20 yr olds are not looking for a middle age sexpat working at teaching English  ? Say it aint so !

I would put money on you being exactly a middle-aged sexpat. 

[Nick in Thailand]

2 minutes ago, Ventenio said:

this is anonymous for a reason.......much better if on Facebook so his friends, family, and people back home can see his true intentions...

 

so yea......post whatever.   i am 99 and have 10000 19-year old gf's and they don't judge me.  yea, give me keys to the classroom.....my mom said, "get it!!!"

I am asking whether it is socially acceptable to date a young woman. 

 

So odd that male expats in Thailand would be so morally self-righteous

 

Wait just a minute! You're not actually male, are you, Karen? 

[DILLIGAD]

41 minutes ago, Nick in Thailand said:

OK. So, I'd appreciate a safe number. Do I have to bang only 30 +? 

I'm thinking of just spending weekends in the next city over and have my kitties there. 

Having lived in the area that you mention, I'd have to remind you of the phrase "Don't <deleted> on your own door-step'. Keep your social life far away from your professional life is my recommendation. There are many placesthat are a short scooter ride away.  

[Nick in Thailand]

8 minutes ago, Ventenio said:

this is anonymous for a reason.......much better if on Facebook so his friends, family, and people back home can see his true intentions...

 

so yea......post whatever.   i am 99 and have 10000 19-year old gf's and they don't judge me.  yea, give me keys to the classroom.....my mom said, "get it!!!"

I am asking whether it is socially acceptable to date a young woman. 

 

So odd that male expats in Thailand would be so morally self-righteous

 

Wait just a minute! You're not actually male, are you, Karen?