Is It Just My Thai Wife?

[mcgriffith]

Because there is this common language, called love, perhaps....

[tuky]

I find it especially interesting when I respond or comment on a conversation that's going on in Thai. They get a little peved and say,"you know too much."

Anyone heard that one before?

My wife's english is very very poor, when we met should could only say 'hello'.

She learnt her english from me and I am not a teacher. When I suggested that I want to learnt how to speak Thai she strickly forbid it, she didn't want me to be able to hold my own in Thailand, I would have too much freedom.

Mind you, I have paid several English teachers to teach her english but she is too lazy to follow it up.

b1tch.

I'm curious: you don't speak a common language, but are married?

How does that work?

And she is too lazy to study English; but you don't study Thai, because, why?

Answer is in red

Everyones life is different mate, the text in red is in agreement with mangkorn's post that sometimes the lady doesn't want us to fit in, sometimes they like to keep us off guard so they have more control over what we can do on our own, this is true of my soon to be ex wife and I .

[Padkapow Guy]

I often tell my wife that she is very selective in certain things. Is it just my wife or are any of your wives the same? Here is the list:

1. "Selective Hearing" - Most of the time I think she isn't paying any attention to me when I tell her something. But this isn't so. She just listens to what she wants to listen to. Example - Almost anytime I ask her a question, her first response is always, "Huh?" Just about everytime I have to ask my questions 2-3 times before she hears me. On the other hand, I could be in one room and her in the next room watching TV no less. If I say something about her on the telephone to a friend of mine and say it quietly, she will shout out, "I heard that!" This is selective hearing.

2. "Selective Memory" - This one never ceases to amaze me. Example - I could ask her what the name was of the restaurant we ate at 2 days ago and she wouldn't have a clue. On the other hand, one time I was talking to a friend of mine and we were discussing old girlfriends. I told him something and she overheard it and came running up to me yelling, "That isn't what you told me 3 years ago about her. You said this!" Now how can she remember something from 3 years ago but not 2 days ago? This is selective memory.

3. "Selective Perception" - My favorite one. Example - My wife always seem to be in a constant daze. Almost as if she goes through her days daydreaming. Completely oblivious to what is going on around her. We could be driving and I see a really nice car and try to point it out to her. She'll turn her head around to me and say, "Huh?" and completely miss the car. At this point I wonder where her head is at. On the other hand, we could be walking around somewhere like a mall and if I even catch a small glimpse of a pretty girl she will snap at me immediately, "I saw you looking at her!!!!" This is selective perception.

So is it just my wife or do any of you share the same experiences?

Trip

Is your wife from prachin buri ? Because she sounds alot like my wife.

PKG

[qwertz]

What? You're both married to her?

[Flysiam]

I find it especially interesting when I respond or comment on a conversation that's going on in Thai. They get a little peved and say,"you know too much."

Anyone heard that one before?

My wife's english is very very poor, when we met should could only say 'hello'.

She learnt her english from me and I am not a teacher. When I suggested that I want to learnt how to speak Thai she strickly forbid it, she didn't want me to be able to hold my own in Thailand, I would have too much freedom.

Mind you, I have paid several English teachers to teach her english but she is too lazy to follow it up.

b1tch.

I'm curious: you don't speak a common language, but are married?

How does that work?

And she is too lazy to study English; but you don't study Thai, because, why?

Answer is in red

Everyones life is different mate, the text in red is in agreement with mangkorn's post that sometimes the lady doesn't want us to fit in, sometimes they like to keep us off guard so they have more control over what we can do on our own, this is true of my soon to be ex wife and I .

Seems to me you allow yourself to be controlled. Not much they can do to stop you from learning the language if you want. No way would I allow my Thai wife to have that much control over me.

But then like he said...."Everyones life is different mate..."

[a2396]

I find it especially interesting when I respond or comment on a conversation that's going on in Thai. They get a little peved and say,"you know too much."

Anyone heard that one before?

My wife's english is very very poor, when we met should could only say 'hello'.

She learnt her english from me and I am not a teacher. When I suggested that I want to learnt how to speak Thai she strickly forbid it, she didn't want me to be able to hold my own in Thailand, I would have too much freedom.

Mind you, I have paid several English teachers to teach her english but she is too lazy to follow it up.

b1tch.

My experience is mostly the same. Almost all of them "talk big" about learning English, but have no real interest in it beyond the basics. I have also seen no interest in them teaching me Thai. I think they don't want me to understand any more than they want me to know and perhaps some laziness. They seem to have no appreciation as to the value of good communication. Maybe they are like that with other Thais as well or maybe they are just with me for the money and have no interest in a quality relationship.

[KhunDennis]

That makes at least three of us married to the same woman!!! No wonder she is gone so much of the time.

And I thought all along she was just going to a lot of funerals. The similarities are truly amazing.

[DrFisher]

I'm not sure your talking about a Thai woman this sounds like every woman I ever met and on the flip side they seem to say the same about us.

[swat]

Most of the Thai woman see us as a milkcow,bored to listening to you,but afraid to loose you.

[brahmburgers]

Thanks for the reminder why I've stayed untethered the whole time I've been in Thailand. I don't suffer 'lazy-mindedness' in acquaintances gladly. In my teaching gig, I have several classes of Thai students - between 19 and 23 years old - mostly gals. I give them pop quizes every two days. It's pleasantly surprising to see how much better they pay attention, when they realize they're going to be taken to task.

Maybe the husbands/boyfriends out there with lazy-brained women could try some things that would alleviate the TV-sitcom induced haze that their chicks are lost in. Since money is the great inducement (face it guys, if you weren't walking ATM machines, your gals would be gone quicker than a bar girl seeing David Beckham sitting alone off in the corner). Figure out a way to dangle bits of money as an inducement to alacrity.

I don't know, don't ask me how to make it work. That's why I'm still single - and digging it.

Thai wife!!

All women posses these 'skills' handed down from there mothers

not all women- but definitely all WIVES.there is a huge difference. i think it has to do with the ring on the finger constricting the blood-flow to the brain. this affects the reasoning function which is located in a tiny section of a woman's brain, and this part of the brain, if it existed at all, initially, seems to get reabsorbed into the body after marriage, and is replaced by a rapidly expanding mass called the "nagging zone"! the only relief for a husband is to develop the "selective hearing" syndrome himself, which can make married life almost tolerable.

regards

frikkie

Hey Frikkie, you got a big grin from me.

[teacup]

What are all these loads of nonsense!

I would say there are more males who have selective hearing than our females, because males are less capable of handling emotional stress so they just block whatever they feel they can't handle.

Us -females- on the other hand, have no need for selective hearing; on the contrary we want to hear everything...we even make stuffs up ...from the little we know, then we make it a big thing!…hehe

[TRIPxCORE]

Maybe you should stop stealing your wifes hair spray TRIPxCORE, she might give you an easier time of it.

HA HA.

OP, I don't think it's a gender thing, but it may be a Thai thing. My BF did exactly the same & now my 5 year old (boy) is definitely showing the selective hearing... I'm just waiting for the others to start :bah:

Perhaps it is a Thai thing. I dont know.

Trip you should eliminate this characteristic as I feel that you are wanting of arguments.

I do not believe that all the times you drive with her, you see a nice car and call her attention. This was on isolated incident. Now, how many times you are with her in a mall and catch an small glimpse of a pretty woman?.

I would call this Disproporcional Interests from your part!

I can recall many times where we have been driving in the car and I tried to point out something to her and I have always received the same reaction. This is certainly not a one time thing.

I often tell my wife that she is very selective in certain things. Is it just my wife or are any of your wives the same? Here is the list:

1. "Selective Hearing" - Most of the time I think she isn't paying any attention to me when I tell her something. But this isn't so. She just listens to what she wants to listen to. Example - Almost anytime I ask her a question, her first response is always, "Huh?" Just about everytime I have to ask my questions 2-3 times before she hears me. On the other hand, I could be in one room and her in the next room watching TV no less. If I say something about her on the telephone to a friend of mine and say it quietly, she will shout out, "I heard that!" This is selective hearing.

2. "Selective Memory" - This one never ceases to amaze me. Example - I could ask her what the name was of the restaurant we ate at 2 days ago and she wouldn't have a clue. On the other hand, one time I was talking to a friend of mine and we were discussing old girlfriends. I told him something and she overheard it and came running up to me yelling, "That isn't what you told me 3 years ago about her. You said this!" Now how can she remember something from 3 years ago but not 2 days ago? This is selective memory.

3. "Selective Perception" - My favorite one. Example - My wife always seem to be in a constant daze. Almost as if she goes through her days daydreaming. Completely oblivious to what is going on around her. We could be driving and I see a really nice car and try to point it out to her. She'll turn her head around to me and say, "Huh?" and completely miss the car. At this point I wonder where her head is at. On the other hand, we could be walking around somewhere like a mall and if I even catch a small glimpse of a pretty girl she will snap at me immediately, "I saw you looking at her!!!!" This is selective perception.

So is it just my wife or do any of you share the same experiences?

Are you sure we don't have the same wife?

Maybe!

I often tell my wife that she is very selective in certain things. Is it just my wife or are any of your wives the same? Here is the list:

1. "Selective Hearing" - Most of the time I think she isn't paying any attention to me when I tell her something. But this isn't so. She just listens to what she wants to listen to. Example - Almost anytime I ask her a question, her first response is always, "Huh?" Just about everytime I have to ask my questions 2-3 times before she hears me. On the other hand, I could be in one room and her in the next room watching TV no less. If I say something about her on the telephone to a friend of mine and say it quietly, she will shout out, "I heard that!" This is selective hearing.

2. "Selective Memory" - This one never ceases to amaze me. Example - I could ask her what the name was of the restaurant we ate at 2 days ago and she wouldn't have a clue. On the other hand, one time I was talking to a friend of mine and we were discussing old girlfriends. I told him something and she overheard it and came running up to me yelling, "That isn't what you told me 3 years ago about her. You said this!" Now how can she remember something from 3 years ago but not 2 days ago? This is selective memory.

3. "Selective Perception" - My favorite one. Example - My wife always seem to be in a constant daze. Almost as if she goes through her days daydreaming. Completely oblivious to what is going on around her. We could be driving and I see a really nice car and try to point it out to her. She'll turn her head around to me and say, "Huh?" and completely miss the car. At this point I wonder where her head is at. On the other hand, we could be walking around somewhere like a mall and if I even catch a small glimpse of a pretty girl she will snap at me immediately, "I saw you looking at her!!!!" This is selective perception.

So is it just my wife or do any of you share the same experiences?

Trip

Is your wife from prachin buri ? Because she sounds alot like my wife.

PKG

No, she is from Udon but the amount of common replies from many of you leads me to believe that this is a Thai female thing and not just a women thing.

That makes at least three of us married to the same woman!!! No wonder she is gone so much of the time.

And I thought all along she was just going to a lot of funerals. The similarities are truly amazing.

I have dated lots of farang women before I was married and never have seen this sort of activity before.

[pgs]

TW came in as I was part way through page 2 - just to check what I am doing. Her English is OK, but a v-e-r-y slow reader. Short explaination of what the post is about :- Thai women be.. "It's OK. I'm Thai" & off she went.

Strongly do I doubt she has more than 2/3 of 5/8 of a clue, but she's happy.

Selective hearing: YES!! Call her during 'Home & Away' or similar soapie crap & be ignored. Drop a $5 note on the carpet 3 rooms away & she's there with it in hand before I can pick it up.

Selective Memory: You bet. Here's $20, when you're at the shop please get X, Y, Z. Comes home with K, L, M & "I thought the $20 was for me". Naturally, there was no change.

No real problem with Selective Perception (as described). She points out the lovelies / well endowed to me in case I miss them. She has a good eye for a pretty lass. Certainly can't complain about that.

[Austhaied]

I often tell my wife that she is very selective in certain things. Is it just my wife or are any of your wives the same? Here is the list:

1. "Selective Hearing" - Most of the time I think she isn't paying any attention to me when I tell her something. But this isn't so. She just listens to what she wants to listen to. Example - Almost anytime I ask her a question, her first response is always, "Huh?" Just about everytime I have to ask my questions 2-3 times before she hears me. On the other hand, I could be in one room and her in the next room watching TV no less. If I say something about her on the telephone to a friend of mine and say it quietly, she will shout out, "I heard that!" This is selective hearing.

2. "Selective Memory" - This one never ceases to amaze me. Example - I could ask her what the name was of the restaurant we ate at 2 days ago and she wouldn't have a clue. On the other hand, one time I was talking to a friend of mine and we were discussing old girlfriends. I told him something and she overheard it and came running up to me yelling, "That isn't what you told me 3 years ago about her. You said this!" Now how can she remember something from 3 years ago but not 2 days ago? This is selective memory.

3. "Selective Perception" - My favorite one. Example - My wife always seem to be in a constant daze. Almost as if she goes through her days daydreaming. Completely oblivious to what is going on around her. We could be driving and I see a really nice car and try to point it out to her. She'll turn her head around to me and say, "Huh?" and completely miss the car. At this point I wonder where her head is at. On the other hand, we could be walking around somewhere like a mall and if I even catch a small glimpse of a pretty girl she will snap at me immediately, "I saw you looking at her!!!!" This is selective perception.

So is it just my wife or do any of you share the same experiences?

Are you sure we don't have the same wife?

Maybe she has 3 husbands, cause that's my wife as well..

[John K]

Amusing thread I must say. I can say Thai men have a bit more experience at this then us, however I can’t say I approve of their methods. I myself have used the power of suggestion to eliminate the problem so I can’t complain. Both sides come out completely content when that method is used. Perhaps I should do a seminar for you guys at the next Thai visa party.

[Badbanker]

Why is my wife so completely different to this! She listens to me and gives me intelligent answers. I try to do the same, even if I am not the sharpest tool in the shed!

She just gets concerned and makes quick ilconsidered decisions if someone has not paid the monthly consulting fees and we are a bit short of hard cold cash.

Badbanker

PS I would die without my wife!

[nitehawk56]

OP, you left out one, selective speech, I'm not married to my TG yet, however I love her dearly, and I do plan on marrying her next year. I can ask her a question, and after about 45 seconds, she will say, my english no good, I no understand, her English by the way is above average, she just don't want to answer the question, so I go to my Thai-English dictionary, and I will ask the question in Thai, her response then is; yeah,yeah,yeah I undrestand now. Still get no answer, or she will say, I'm joking you, I understand, hahahaha

[gdhm]

I find it especially interesting when I respond or comment on a conversation that's going on in Thai. They get a little peved and say,"you know too much."

Anyone heard that one before?

My wife's english is very very poor, when we met should could only say 'hello'.

She learnt her english from me and I am not a teacher. When I suggested that I want to learnt how to speak Thai she strickly forbid it, she didn't want me to be able to hold my own in Thailand, I would have too much freedom.

Mind you, I have paid several English teachers to teach her english but she is too lazy to follow it up.

b1tch.

Or (being mischievous but also with a fair degree of truth) many Thai Ladies are happy to understand a little English to "monitor" what we say, but love being able to say what they like in Thai to their friends and acquaintances in front of us and in the certainty we do not have a clue what is being discussed.

On MANY occasions If people my wife and I meet had ANY IDEA what their ladies were telling my wife they would either be:

1) be very embarrassed

2) hopping mad at the lack of personal privacy

3) very hurt

4) dumping their ladies

To be honest many would find 3) and/or 4) relevant unfortunately.

I think it is best we do not know (unless we are being fleeced). I have found OFTEN things are exaggerated or not exactly true and are said to build an image.

Regards, Dave

Edited May 20, 2007 by gdhm

[xerostar]

What are all these loads of nonsense!

I would say there are more males who have selective hearing than our females, because males are less capable of handling emotional stress so they just block whatever they feel they can't handle.

Us -females- on the other hand, have no need for selective hearing; on the contrary we want to hear everything...we even make stuffs up ...from the little we know, then we make it a big thing!…hehe

Oh Teacup, (what a lovely name!) I think you meant females "make stuff ups ...from the little you know," but we men are generous enough to make light of it!

On the other hand we are happy when you "make it a big thing" hehe !

Yes my wife behaves exactly as the OP described!

[DirkGently]

I received a joke email some time ago that was almost identical to the OP's post. Smacks of cut and paste.

[t.s]

I received a joke email some time ago that was almost identical to the OP's post. Smacks of cut and paste.

rings true either way.

[Luckydog]

I often tell my wife that she is very selective in certain things. Is it just my wife or are any of your wives the same? Here is the list:

1. "Selective Hearing" - Most of the time I think she isn't paying any attention to me when I tell her something. But this isn't so. She just listens to what she wants to listen to. Example - Almost anytime I ask her a question, her first response is always, "Huh?" Just about everytime I have to ask my questions 2-3 times before she hears me. On the other hand, I could be in one room and her in the next room watching TV no less. If I say something about her on the telephone to a friend of mine and say it quietly, she will shout out, "I heard that!" This is selective hearing.

2. "Selective Memory" - This one never ceases to amaze me. Example - I could ask her what the name was of the restaurant we ate at 2 days ago and she wouldn't have a clue. On the other hand, one time I was talking to a friend of mine and we were discussing old girlfriends. I told him something and she overheard it and came running up to me yelling, "That isn't what you told me 3 years ago about her. You said this!" Now how can she remember something from 3 years ago but not 2 days ago? This is selective memory.

3. "Selective Perception" - My favorite one. Example - My wife always seem to be in a constant daze. Almost as if she goes through her days daydreaming. Completely oblivious to what is going on around her. We could be driving and I see a really nice car and try to point it out to her. She'll turn her head around to me and say, "Huh?" and completely miss the car. At this point I wonder where her head is at. On the other hand, we could be walking around somewhere like a mall and if I even catch a small glimpse of a pretty girl she will snap at me immediately, "I saw you looking at her!!!!" This is selective perception.

So is it just my wife or do any of you share the same experiences?

Are you sure we don't have the same wife?

Hey. The Cow is married to me too!!!!

[torito]

When I see some of the replies in here I just feel pitty for the poor ladies who with so much hope of a better life, marry a farangs....

What Thai ladies should learn is that sometimes the medicine is worse than the illness

[t.s]

When I see some of the replies in here I just feel pitty for the poor ladies who with so much hope of a better life, marry a farangs....

What Thai ladies should learn is that sometimes the medicine is worse than the illness

all the thai bashing that goes on on TV, and you speak up when someone posts a relatively amusing account of a trait that many here have personally experienced?

i personally believe anyone who marries does so "with the hope of a better life" -- at least they should.

please share with us examples of the posts that drew offense -- anything by blizzard excepted of course.

[klfopera]

It isn't just Thai women (or wives); everything reported here is also true of my Thai boyfriend (a virtual marriage; six years; live together and own property together).

[longway]

I find it especially interesting when I respond or comment on a conversation that's going on in Thai. They get a little peved and say,"you know too much."

Anyone heard that one before?

My wife's english is very very poor, when we met should could only say 'hello'.

She learnt her english from me and I am not a teacher. When I suggested that I want to learnt how to speak Thai she strickly forbid it, she didn't want me to be able to hold my own in Thailand, I would have too much freedom.

Mind you, I have paid several English teachers to teach her english but she is too lazy to follow it up.

b1tch.

Or (being mischievous but also with a fair degree of truth) many Thai Ladies are happy to understand a little English to "monitor" what we say, but love being able to say what they like in Thai to their friends and acquaintances in front of us and in the certainty we do not have a clue what is being discussed.

On MANY occasions If people my wife and I meet had ANY IDEA what their ladies were telling my wife they would either be:

1) be very embarrassed

2) hopping mad at the lack of personal privacy

3) very hurt

4) dumping their ladies

To be honest many would find 3) and/or 4) relevant unfortunately.

I think it is best we do not know (unless we are being fleeced). I have found OFTEN things are exaggerated or not exactly true and are said to build an image.

Regards, Dave

thats exactly what i think....

of most posts in TV. the general topics esp is just one massive gossip fest.

Edited May 20, 2007 by longway

[qwertz]

True, Longway. I find this cut and paste cult a little boring too, don't you?

Edited May 20, 2007 by qwertz

[frikkiedeboer]

When I see some of the replies in here I just feel pitty for the poor ladies who with so much hope of a better life, marry a farangs....

torito,

you missed the whole point. as far as i can make out, all posts were made "tongue-in cheek" and i am sure no offense was meant to the fairer sex, nor to thai women. i personally have a healthy respect for thai women and made a decision some time ago that all my future ex-wives would be thai!

by the way, almost all thai women,both good and bad, do end up with a better life being married to a farang. have you seen how most thai men- especially in isaan- treat their wives?..... maybe they know something we don't!

frikkie

[teacup]

Oh Teacup, (what a lovely name!)

Yes my wife behaves exactly as the OP described!

Oh but I’m soo different! You should have waited for me “you hansum man”

[Phil_ne_uk]

My girl friend has the same traits as the ops. Regarding learning Thai, about 2.5 years ago she said she wouldn’t want me to learn Thai as she couldn’t have any secrets from me then! She has since told me, around a year ago that I wouldn’t like it or wouldn’t want to stay here if I could understand what Thai people were saying! Interesting statement I reckon!

Regarding PQS’s quote,

No real problem with Selective Perception (as described). She points out the lovelies / well endowed to me in case I miss them. She has a good eye for a pretty lass. Certainly can't complain about that.

My girlfriend’s exactly the same. The reason being is because she likes the look of nice girls also which is no surprise as about 80% of females worldwide are bi!