Great Farang-thai Relationships...(marriage...whatever)

[coldcrush]

I can't believe that I'm the only happily married guy out there. Speak up and give your ideas on what it takes to have a really great Thai-Farang relationship. How do you do it? Maybe you can help some guy who doesn't have a clue.

Top Tip: I love my Wife and Son and they love me.

[distortedlink]

Money and lots of it.

Dare anyone to try and form a rea\lationship without it and see how far they get.

[Nignoy]

I lost my thai wife over 40 years ago(marriage was annulled by british Govt) she is now happily married in the states, we have remained great friends with her and her family in isaan, so much so that my english wife and I are just as happy and at ease in the village as we are here in Australia, our 40 year thai friendships are based on mutual trust and respect, of course some thai people who dont know us try and treat us as newbie tourists and potential sources of easy money. But the +,s far outweigh the -,s . We are very proud of our thai friends , Nignoy

[villagefarang]

Glad to see someone picked up on this topic again. Thanks to everyone for giving your opinions and stories. It shows there isn't just one way to do it.

[britmaveric]

Love, Trust, Commitment, Support, Friendship

[Spee]

Love, Trust, Commitment, Support, Friendship

Yes, all of those, and work and understanding (not only with each other's personality, but also each other's culture and upbringing). My girl and I have had some good times but also some tough times, which are often due to cultural differences and misunderstandings with language interpretations. As I've often said to her, sometimes life is good, sometimes life is not so good, but stay together and everything will be okay. A sense of humor (poot len) also helps. As she says sometimes with her special laugh "I joke you!"

[Suszzy]

Love, Trust, Commitment, Support, Friendship

may i add money is very important too.

do you agree?

without money...hum..don't know what to do!!!

[britmaveric]

Love, Trust, Commitment, Support, Friendship

may i add money is very important too.

do you agree?

without money...hum..don't know what to do!!!

Money only makes life easier, not necessarily happier.

[Spee]

may i add money is very important too.

do you agree?

without money...hum..don't know what to do!!!

As the altered cliche goes ...

"Money can't buy happiness ....... but poverty can't either."

Money is important to my girl because she grew up very poor and previous men in her life (deceased father and deceased first husband) left her in debt through no fault of her own. I suspect this is not an entirely uncommon situation, and I don't think there is anything wrong with someone being that way. There's nothing wrong with wanting more and wanting things that can make for a better life.

For me, money is also important but for different reasons. I can be just as happy with a little less money or a little more money.

In any case, I think there is some merit with your point and it is not unique to Thailand. Nothing will put a strain on a relationship faster than a shortage of money where there once was some. To me, it seems just as common in America or Thailand as many other places.

[lazeeboy]

may i add money is very important too.

do you agree?

without money...hum..don't know what to do!!!

As the altered cliche goes ...

"Money can't buy happiness ....... but poverty can't either."

Money is important to my girl because she grew up very poor and previous men in her life (deceased father and deceased first husband) left her in debt through no fault of her own. I suspect this is not an entirely uncommon situation, and I don't think there is anything wrong with someone being that way. There's nothing wrong with wanting more and wanting things that can make for a better life.

For me, money is also important but for different reasons. I can be just as happy with a little less money or a little more money.

In any case, I think there is some merit with your point and it is not unique to Thailand. Nothing will put a strain on a relationship faster than a shortage of money where there once was some. To me, it seems just as common in America or Thailand as many other places.

understanding of the thai culture and patience.........

[Suszzy]

may i add money is very important too.

do you agree?

without money...hum..don't know what to do!!!

As the altered cliche goes ...

"Money can't buy happiness ....... but poverty can't either."

Money is important to my girl because she grew up very poor and previous men in her life (deceased father and deceased first husband) left her in debt through no fault of her own. I suspect this is not an entirely uncommon situation, and I don't think there is anything wrong with someone being that way. There's nothing wrong with wanting more and wanting things that can make for a better life.

For me, money is also important but for different reasons. I can be just as happy with a little less money or a little more money.

In any case, I think there is some merit with your point and it is not unique to Thailand. Nothing will put a strain on a relationship faster than a shortage of money where there once was some. To me, it seems just as common in America or Thailand as many other places.

i couldn't agree more!!

[Thumchok]

Patience and understanding .

My name is Dave.

Let me relate how I handled the situation with my wife, Peggy. When I retired a few years ago, it became necessary for Peggy to get a full-time job along with her part-time job, both for extra income and for the health benefits that we needed.

Shortly after she started working, I noticed she was beginning to show her age. I usually get home from the golf club about the same time she gets home from work. Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts dinner.

I don't yell at her. Instead, I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she gets dinner on the table. I generally have lunch in the Men's Grill at the club so eating out is not reasonable. I'm ready for some home-cooked grub when I hit that door.

She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating, but now it's not unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after dinner.

I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each evening that they won't clean themselves. I know she really appreciates this, as it does seem to motivate her to get them done before she goes to bed.

Another symptom of aging is complaining, I think For example, Peggy will say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills during her lunch hour. But, boys, we take 'em for

better or worse, so I just smile and offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two or even three days. That way she won't have to rush so much. I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn't hurt her any (if you know what I mean!).

I like to think tact is one of my strong points.

When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest periods.

She had to take a break when she was only half finished mowing the yard.

I try not to make a scene. I'm a fair man. I tell her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed lemonade and just sit for a while. And, as long as she is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me, too.

I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Peggy.

I'm not saying that showing this much consideration is easy. Many men will find it difficult. Some will find it impossible!

Nobody knows better than I do how frustrating women get as they get older. However, guys, even if you just use a little more tact and less criticism of your aging wife because of this article, I will consider that writing it was well worthwhile. After all, we are put on this earth to help each other.

Signed,

Dave

[MikeRay]

Honesty from the beginning of both sides

[mrbojangles]

may i add money is very important too.

do you agree?

without money...hum..don't know what to do!!!

As the altered cliche goes ...

"Money can't buy happiness ....... but poverty can't either."

Money is important to my girl because she grew up very poor and previous men in her life (deceased father and deceased first husband) left her in debt through no fault of her own. I suspect this is not an entirely uncommon situation, and I don't think there is anything wrong with someone being that way. There's nothing wrong with wanting more and wanting things that can make for a better life.

For me, money is also important but for different reasons. I can be just as happy with a little less money or a little more money.

In any case, I think there is some merit with your point and it is not unique to Thailand. Nothing will put a strain on a relationship faster than a shortage of money where there once was some. To me, it seems just as common in America or Thailand as many other places.

Wise words indeed Spee my man

[GreenShone]

I think the best thing for me is never to marry. My gf sticks around but there is occasional tension because I wont do this and she knows it. We've been together 5 years now. Perhaps it works because she knows that it would be hard for her to get a replacement but for me it's a snap of the fingers. For you guys who did marry, you have my utmost respect and admiration. You are worthy, I am not. I can never go thru with it. I keep the whole farang-thai family interconnection at arm's length. This is just what I do and will continue.

She is sticking around because she prolly loves you. Old habits don't die easily. Familiarity + territory. I don't think she's sticking around because she'll have a hard time looking for a replacement, as you said. I'm sure you'll find someone quicker if you snap your wallet! Or maybe, fill it up with old bills and receipts. How about old newspapers?

Like you though, I do not believe in marriage and I'm not into relationships, but I do like hanging-out with people I like and with people who share similar interests as me. Makes life loads of fun. Don't know if I'll change my mind someday, but if I do........HE has to be someone very special!

Edited August 14, 2007 by GreenShone