Advice Please

[khastan]

Hi I would be very gratefull for any serious advice please.

I am a 62 year old slim healthy male currently living in Europe.

I have recently divorced my wife of 14 years for cheating on me. I have visited Thialand twice with my ex and love the place. Once the family house is sold I would like to relocate to Thialand meet a nice lady and hopefully find true love and happiness.

I am sure many members of this forum will have been through similair circumstances and would appreciate very much any advice and how to avoid the many pitfalls that I am sure there is in achieving this.

Thanks

Khastan

[Jet Gorgon]

Hi, Khastan, and welcome.

I will give you these tips:

1) Keep all your money at home, except what you need to live.

2) Pretend you have no money when you get to Thailand.

3) ALWAYS use a condom.

4) NEVER marry a bar girl.

5) Do not buy a house in Thailand.

You can buy a wife, but trust me, you will not be happy. Please read some of the previous topics.

Good luck!

[qwertz]

Visit Nana Plaza, Pattaya and Patong, get it out of your system and then think about settling down with a good woman.

If you have any money left after that.

Oh, and if you can't marry Jet Gorgon, read her posts at least.

Women know things that we don't.

P.S. Welcome to the board.

And stay tuned.

Advice from all over the globe is currently winging its way to you.

Edited June 7, 2007 by qwertz

[Jet Gorgon]

Visit Nana Plaza, Pattaya and Patong, get it out of your system and then think about settling down with a good woman.

If you have any money left after that.

Oh, and if you can't marry Jet Gorgon, read her posts at least.

Women know things that we don't.

P.S. Welcome to the board.

And stay tuned.

Advice from all over the globe is currently winging its way to you.

You go to those places, WEAR A CONDOM, Khastan. Always wear a condom. And do NOT fall in lust there.

...I can be a polygamist can't I, Qwertz? Hmm, gotta check if polygamist is the right word for a female with multiple spouses.

[Thaifan2]

A fit ,well heeled 62 year old .You can easily find a wife in Pattaya .

[Mighty Mouse]

I would like to relocate to Thialand meet a nice lady and hopefully find true love and happiness.

You'll find happiness very quickly and you'll find pretend love very quickly, but true love takes time...lots of time.

Be very wary of women who come on too fast to a 'hansum, sexy man' like yourself.

Be very wary of women who leave their toothbrush in your bathroom after the first date.

Keep your money out of sight and don't tell anybody what your bank balance is.

Think about why your wife cheated on you after 14 years of marriage, buy a voodoo doll and stick pins in it....that'll teach her!!!!

Keep your wits about you and never lose control of your common sense.

[Dakhar]

Don't marry and always wear a condom.

Keep your money in your country

claim poverty

[ronw]

Visit Nana Plaza, Pattaya and Patong, get it out of your system and then think about settling down with a good woman.

If you have any money left after that.

Oh, and if you can't marry Jet Gorgon, read her posts at least.

Women know things that we don't.

P.S. Welcome to the board.

And stay tuned.

Advice from all over the globe is currently winging its way to you.

You go to those places, WEAR A CONDOM, Khastan. Always wear a condom. And do NOT fall in lust there.

...I can be a polygamist can't I, Qwertz? Hmm, gotta check if polygamist is the right word for a female with multiple spouses.

The word for which you search is polyandrist! [if the spelling is right].....I am crossword fan.......sorry!!

[ronw]

A fit ,well heeled 62 year old .You can easily find a wife in Pattaya .

Why only Pattaya?.......... surely the whole of Asia is open for "research".............just do not be in a hurry to make committments..............TAKE YOUR TIME!

[Jet Gorgon]

The word for which you search is polyandrist! [if the spelling is right].....I am crossword fan.......sorry!!

Why thank you kindly, Ronw! I knew there was a female equivalent, but the memory bank could not retrieve the word. Perhaps we can share NY Times crosswords one day.

Sorry, Khastan, I am hijacking your thread. I hope you come to Thailand to find contentment first; then the love may follow.

[PhilHarries]

You visited Thailand twice before. Don't forget visiting as a tourist and living in the country are two entirely different ball games. When you are a tourist there is a small army of people there with the express purpose of helping you (e.g. hotel staff). Living there you are pretty much on your own and worse still there is a vast legion of people, Thais and expats, with the express intent of separating you from your money as soon as possible.

I assume that you don't speak Thai. That is going to make it tougher for you especially if you decide to settle away from the tourist destinations like Pattaya, Phuket etc. That means you are going to need to find reliable, trustworthy assistance. In doing this remember the last sentence above and take note that some of the worst rip off merchants may be your fellow countrymen.

Never be afraid to ask for advice, this forum is as good a place as any and better than most. No matter what the situation, problem or query you can bet someone on ThaiVisa will have encountered the same.

You've already been told to leave your money behind in your home country and keep it's existance to yourself. That is pretty well the best financial advice you'll get. There is a hackneyed old phrase "never invest more in Thailand than you can afford to walk away from". Hackneyed it is for sure but nobody got burnt by following it.

I suggest you research all you can, read through the subjects in the forum in ThaiVisa that most interest you. Visit Thailand for a month or two and travel as much as possible.

Ensure you have good medical insurance. We never like to admit it but as we age the body needs more and more maintenance and repair. Good health care is available in Thailand but it costs and even in this field remember the last sentence in paragraph #1 above.

Lastly, do not fall head over heels in love with the first little cutie that calls you hansum man, remember the last sentence in paragraph #1 above.

Finally, enjoy yourself.

[naka]

Rent, Don't buy !

Cohabit (if you must), Don't marry !

Keep your dosh at home, never mention it !

Never allow anyone to leave anything in your wardrobe !

Naka.

[soundman]

The word for which you search is polyandrist! [if the spelling is right].....I am crossword fan.......sorry!!

Mia noi works well enough for Thailand...

Soundman.

[November Rain]

I think give yourself a period of a few months out here (maybe 4 to 6) to see how you get on. Travel around a bit to see where (if anywhere) you'd like to settle. Don't burn any bridges until you've sussed things out & you're certain of your decision. Then, if you still decide you want to be here, I'd follow some of the advice of some other members re renting, and hiding your true financial status.

And, at the risk of sounding crude; at all times think with your head, don't ever start letting any other piece of your anatomy do the thinking for you, whether that is your heart or a part further south...

Good luck.

[bendix]

What is it about this thread that makes me feel the board is offering this guy up as a sacrificial lamb.

Newly divorced. Cashed up. Emotionally vulnerable due to his wife's infidelity. Presumably lonely.

It's going to be easy street for some easy meat very very soon. All over throughout Pattaya, girls are reading this and getting on their mobile phones to Ubon: "Quick papa, book Somchai the Builder now. Another one is on his way."

[Jet Gorgon]

Bendix, why do you have to go and spoil everything? (Do they really do that?)

[chinthee]

Frankly, the fact that some of you (us) are even responding to this shows me your level of boredom.

OP, just go read www.stickmanbangkok.com readers submissions, and go way back thru the years - see if you can spot the common threads. This should take a few days.

My advice. If you come here as a short-timer with that mentality, you wouldn't have much chance of meeting a "real" Thai woman, but there are obviously exceptions everywhere, every day here. Regarding practical advice about money etc., most of the posts here are good advice.

[November Rain]

What is it about this thread that makes me feel the board is offering this guy up as a sacrificial lamb.

Newly divorced. Cashed up. Emotionally vulnerable due to his wife's infidelity. Presumably lonely.

It's going to be easy street for some easy meat very very soon. All over throughout Pattaya, girls are reading this and getting on their mobile phones to Ubon: "Quick papa, book Somchai the Builder now. Another one is on his way."

And that's exactly why OP is probably going to relocate to Thailand, no matter what anyone here tells him. Add that to probable bitterness about his wife (& possibly farang women in general) and he is going to make his way here.

Far from offering him up, I think most members recognise that fact & are just trying to gently warn him of some of the problems he may/will encounter.

[bendix]

Well you could be right, NR. But you can't help some people. Good luck to him. I'll send my letter to Pattaya City Council recommending they reinforce condominium balcony barriers straight away.

[soundman]

Far from offering him up, I think most members recognise that fact & are just trying to gently warn him of some of the problems he may/will encounter.

Wait until the afternoon when the members of this board have a few beers under the belt.

Bloody would be a more appropriate desription.

Soundman.

[farang prince]

Visit Nana Plaza, Pattaya and Patong, get it out of your system and then think about settling down with a good woman.

If you have any money left after that.

Oh, and if you can't marry Jet Gorgon, read her posts at least.

Women know things that we don't.

P.S. Welcome to the board.

And stay tuned.

Advice from all over the globe is currently winging its way to you.

You go to those places, WEAR A CONDOM, Khastan. Always wear a condom. And do NOT fall in lust there.

...I can be a polygamist can't I, Qwertz? Hmm, gotta check if polygamist is the right word for a female with multiple spouses.

Jet, I would call a woman with multiple spouses a tired masochist.

[Jet Gorgon]

Well you could be right, NR. But you can't help some people. Good luck to him. I'll send my letter to Pattaya City Council recommending they reinforce condominium balcony barriers straight away.

Nah. Ask for a ban on all railings on balconies. Put em outta their misery faster.

[duke69]

stay in your country, find an hobby and try to get the best of life there....

...otherwise you have 90% chanches to become another loser, 62 years old man, no friends in LOS, a BG as girlfriend cheating on you, risk to get HIV, .... even worse an old ex BG.....

You may risk to have problems with health, feel lonely, frustrated ...... the SEX stuff (what I call the monkey) ends after a few weeks....

Finding a gal to marry (good one) is more difficoult than your country, you will be alone in a foreign country surrounded by voltures (including your Thai GF) only trying to get money out of you and abandoning you if they don't get enough.

The "poor guy" role, can last only few weeks, after they will either discover you can give more or you will be left alone.

I really pity you for thinking to make a life in LOS, this ain't Land Of Smiles for people coming with your motivations, come here for 3 months as a vacation (with return ticket).....do all the SEX you wish.....and I'm sure that you will be very happy to Q at the check in in the airport after the 3 months!!

then if you like, take a 2-3 months rest every year in Thailand but always having your country as backup

[GuestHouse]

What is it about this thread that makes me feel the board is offering this guy up as a sacrificial lamb.

Newly divorced. Cashed up. Emotionally vulnerable due to his wife's infidelity. Presumably lonely.

It's going to be easy street for some easy meat very very soon. All over throughout Pattaya, girls are reading this and getting on their mobile phones to Ubon: "Quick papa, book Somchai the Builder now. Another one is on his way."

I'm with Bendix on this: All the other advice regarding leaving savings back home, not buying a house in Thailand, not getting married to a bar girl etc is applicable to every single one of us.

But Bendix makes a very significant observation.

Recent divorce, recent berievement, recent serious illness, resent redundancy are all examples of life traumas that need to be managed, not run away from.

Any head shrink will advise on the dangers of making big life changes after such life events.

I would advise the OP to talk to friends family and possibly a relationship counsellor before making the move to Thailand. Or at the very least put to move off untilt the dust has settled on his divorce.

Getting an assessment from friends and possibly relationship professionals does not mean that he should not move to Thailand or that they would advise him against doing so. But it would be a chance to examine motivations, and emotional health.

The issue about his wife cheating on him alone is reason to pause. She was presumably an amateur, he's considering moving into the professional league.

Fit, slim, sorted 62 year old single men in my kneck of the woods are beating women off with a stick. Of course that is 50~60 year old women from their own community, not 22 year old $25 dollar a night pros, but at least they speak the same language.

The OP would be very well advised to examine his own vulnerability before making the move.

And that again is not, 'Don't make the move', rather pause for thought and to let things settle.

[uptou]

Hi, Khastan, and welcome.

I will give you these tips:

1) Keep all your money at home, except what you need to live.

2) Pretend you have no money when you get to Thailand.

3) ALWAYS use a condom.

4) NEVER marry a bar girl.

5) Do not buy a house in Thailand.

You can buy a wife, but trust me, you will not be happy. Please read some of the previous topics.

Good luck!

i recon they should have this chiseled in stone at bangkok airport for new arrivals.

the pretending you have no money certainly cuts down on the effort required for sussing people out.

maybe number 6) when just arrived only use tuk tuks for entertainment value,rather than monetary.

7) when asking locals for information ask six different people then average it for the correct awnser.

8)when asked how long youve been here.tell them years.

[bendix]

The OP would also be well-advised to read Mobi D'Ark's new thread about the old farang he knows. Look into this mirror, my man, for within lies the future . . .

[November Rain]

Bendix, Guesthouse,

I agree with you 100% that he shouldn't come here, he should stay in his own country & sort his head out. But he's not going to listen to us. So, why bother? He might just listen to some advice on how to try & stay off of Pattaya balconies while he is here, though...

Who is it that has the sig from Simon & Garfunkel, 'The Boxer'? "A man hears what he wants to hear and disregards the rest"? Very true.

[Robski]

It is definately, 100%, without a shadow of a doubt, TROLL TIME!!!

And a very bad one too, please read Weho's or JeffreyStanthorpes posts, look and learn.

Come back with something more 'meaty'. Thanks.

[khastan]

Hi everybody

Thanks everyone I will listen and take serious note of all genuine replies and I would like to think I am am no fool. I am a ex pat brit who has lived in Spain for 8 years. I can see very little difference in what I have read so far to my experinces in Spain. That is of course apart from the ladies waiting to pounce. The attitude of everybody else wanting to rip you off including your fellow countrymen is just the same here.

Khastan

[khastan]

Hi everbody again

I have no desire to go with bar girls, sow my wild oats, visit Pattya or any other red light district for that matter. I will think with my head not my nether regions! My interests lie only with finding somebody that is genuine and that I can settle down with. Is that to much to ask? Surely Thialand is not that bad.