Takin' Care Of Mama

[a2396]

Your last post makes perfect sense MTW and I actually tend to agree this time.

Luckily my own situation is not so complicated; basically I'm a giver and Mrs Meom is a taker so we sort of complement eachother which overall makes for a good partnership. She's a bit stingy when it comes to setting a budget for the Mia Noi but I hope we can work that out in due course.

In fact the Mia is causing much more grief than the Mrs because she expects equal treatment and status symbols. I can't seem to explain to her that as a number two she will never rise to the #1 position because it would be to much of a precedent and cause unnecessary grief.

So far the Mia hasn't asked for any money for the parents but for sure I'll keep your advice in mind should it ever reach this stage.

R U joking or serious? Your wife budgets money for your Mia Noi? If it is not true, why do you waste time & space posting nonsense?

[colino]

SET A LIMIT AND STICK TO IT ,,,,,,,,,,,,,, NO MATTER WHAT

[a2396]

Not this old chestnut again TROLL !

You wouldn't know a troll from a goldfish. From my experience here this is a major issue in establishing a stable & trusting relationship with the dear ladies. If is has no relevance to you, then don't waste your time reading it.

[a2396]

I would like to inquire of the learned members, who are living in Thailand and have a Thai GF, if the are asked or are expected to make contributions to take care of the GF's Mother. I have encountered this several times. My opinion is that I am willing to provide for a reasonable monthly amount for the GF's expenses, but I am not comfortable with other family member add-on's.

Well, "blow me down" (no pun intended). Here I thought this only happened in poor 3rd world places. If I had the jack, I'd hot foot it back & get me a real live playboy model. The price is right. Line forms on the left. See attached article for reference. All U generous gents, stop scrabbling about. See ya in Vegas or somewhere expensive.

Wealthy_men_Willing_Women.rtf

[jdinasia]

I would like to inquire of the learned members, who are living in Thailand and have a Thai GF, if the are asked or are expected to make contributions to take care of the GF's Mother. I have encountered this several times. My opinion is that I am willing to provide for a reasonable monthly amount for the GF's expenses, but I am not comfortable with other family member add-on's.

Well, "blow me down" (no pun intended). Here I thought this only happened in poor 3rd world places. If I had the jack, I'd hot foot it back & get me a real live playboy model. The price is right. Line forms on the left. See attached article for reference. All U generous gents, stop scrabbling about. See ya in Vegas or somewhere expensive.

well at least now you are getting to the heart of your question/delimna

[chanchao]

It's kind of sad reading some posts, I won't name names. "Setting a limit, etc."

I was already starting to nod in agreement with guesthouse about how ridiculous the concept of an allowance is, but then he followed through with requiring the significant other to work; well, sure, but I think that's beside the issue: Even when she works there is still the household budget to manage, her working just means there's a little more money in that budget to distribute.

So you can probably see where I'm going with this; when you're in a relationship then why would you not both have access to the same monthly budget, and/or have another way of managing the budget/expenses jointly?

If the above paragraph sounds foreign to anyone then you're not in a healthy, equal relationship, but in something else.

Edited June 13, 2007 by chanchao

[canuckamuck]

Maybe it’s time one of you geniuses set up a web page detailing the fair market scale for girlfriends I mean you could have some sort of online calculator that factors in your assets, income, are you old, ugly, out of shape… And the section for the girl would have to factor in how pretty, young, talented she is , and the age of her mother’s buffalo must also be considered .

I think this would save you guys a lot of stress and worry about going rates and you might even have a section to post some of your trade-in models, for those of you who are looking to trade up.

Just a thought

[a2396]

It's kind of sad reading some posts, I won't name names. "Setting a limit, etc."

I was already starting to nod in agreement with guesthouse about how ridiculous the concept of an allowance is, but then he followed through with requiring the significant other to work; well, sure, but I think that's beside the issue: Even when she works there is still the household budget to manage, her working just means there's a little more money in that budget to distribute.

So you can probably see where I'm going with this; when you're in a relationship then why would you not both have access to the same monthly budget, and/or have another way of managing the budget/expenses jointly?

If the above paragraph sounds foreign to anyone then you're not in a healthy, equal relationship, but in something else.

I don’t see to many equal relationships in LOS between Farangs & Thais. I have never been in one here. Back home yes, but here in LOS the Farang is usually of considerably more wealth than the lady. In any case, I was not talking about household budget money, but money given solely as a contribution to her Mother (or other needy family members). I have a problem with this when there are 3 or for others in the family, who are able bodied and apparently contribute nothing. I further have a problem when it is 5000 bht going out the door every month. My opinion on this is that I will take care of the lady and Sometimes others, but on a limited basis. If you set no limits, they will run you ragged.

[GuestHouse]

So you can probably see where I'm going with this; when you're in a relationship then why would you not both have access to the same monthly budget, and/or have another way of managing the budget/expenses jointly?

If the above paragraph sounds foreign to anyone then you're not in a healthy, equal relationship, but in something else.

That's precisely how it is done in our house, shared bank accounts, savings in shared names etc.

To be honest, since I got maried and my wife started sharing the budgetting I save more money than I ever did when single.

[LoveDaBlues]

It's kind of sad reading some posts, I won't name names. "Setting a limit, etc."

I was already starting to nod in agreement with guesthouse about how ridiculous the concept of an allowance is, but then he followed through with requiring the significant other to work; well, sure, but I think that's beside the issue: Even when she works there is still the household budget to manage, her working just means there's a little more money in that budget to distribute.

So you can probably see where I'm going with this; when you're in a relationship then why would you not both have access to the same monthly budget, and/or have another way of managing the budget/expenses jointly?

If the above paragraph sounds foreign to anyone then you're not in a healthy, equal relationship, but in something else.

I don’t see to many equal relationships in LOS between Farangs & Thais. I have never been in one here. Back home yes, but here in LOS the Farang is usually of considerably more wealth than the lady. In any case, I was not talking about household budget money, but money given solely as a contribution to her Mother (or other needy family members). I have a problem with this when there are 3 or for others in the family, who are able bodied and apparently contribute nothing. I further have a problem when it is 5000 bht going out the door every month. My opinion on this is that I will take care of the lady and Sometimes others, but on a limited basis. If you set no limits, they will run you ragged.

I told my wife this early in our relationship: I'll SUPPORT you fully and HELP immediate family members when they need it. "immediate" was then defined to include mama, papa, brother, grandma. No aunts, uncles, cousins,etc. etc.

I will not loan money to anyone in Thailand.

All the family members work. My wife doesn't work and this is her choice. She cooks, cleans, washes, etc. and I'm happy with that.

The above works for me and I'm happy with the arrangement. I enjoy helping the family; I'd do the same in the states.

[mikethevigoman]

As i said i think this is a troll subject, you seem to have skated around this one so here goes,, could it be that most of the not working girls that are given an allowance are ex bar girls that their partners dont want them to work in the bar and a monthly allowance to the rent a wife is made to prevent this ? .im not being smart, it happened to me many moons ago , she said if you dont pay me montly im off back to the bar !. so it was bye bye, and i have never been involved with a bg since,i saw it for what it was a rental sutuation,........

Edited June 13, 2007 by mikethevigoman

[mikethevigoman]

Not this old chestnut again TROLL !

You wouldn't know a troll from a goldfish. From my experience here this is a major issue in establishing a stable & trusting relationship with the dear ladies. If is has no relevance to you, then don't waste your time reading it.

I would ! a goldfish is a nice thing that enjoys life with no apparent memory or problems ,and heres a troll , my mate told me !,.......i see it as an issue for flaming watch and see,. ,and dear ladies is right, too dear for me ! i cant afford one

Edited June 13, 2007 by mikethevigoman

[GuestHouse]

I think the mistake here is to look at the helping mamma from the perspective of the foreign husband.

What we need to understand is the way that the Thai family are viewing us.

If they sent their daughter out into the world to find someone to provide an income for the family, then any Thai, foreigner or survivor of crashed space ship who marries into that family is going to be seen as a cash cow.

But we should not make the mistake of believing that all Thai families do this. Many do, many do not.

[sukanyacondo]

So you can probably see where I'm going with this; when you're in a relationship then why would you not both have access to the same monthly budget, and/or have another way of managing the budget/expenses jointly?

If the above paragraph sounds foreign to anyone then you're not in a healthy, equal relationship, but in something else.

That's precisely how it is done in our house, shared bank accounts, savings in shared names etc.

To be honest, since I got maried and my wife started sharing the budgetting I save more money than I ever did when single.

Ditto myself in fact I have nothing to do with the money she takes care of it all and im often amazed at the amount she saves which she will re invest in our business. I put up the wrong link before heres the correct one for "someone" who has not seen a farang in a relationship not doling out money before ha ha ha http://sukanyacondo.com/sukanyauspic.htm

[meom]

Your last post makes perfect sense MTW and I actually tend to agree this time.

Luckily my own situation is not so complicated; basically I'm a giver and Mrs Meom is a taker so we sort of complement eachother which overall makes for a good partnership. She's a bit stingy when it comes to setting a budget for the Mia Noi but I hope we can work that out in due course.

In fact the Mia is causing much more grief than the Mrs because she expects equal treatment and status symbols. I can't seem to explain to her that as a number two she will never rise to the #1 position because it would be to much of a precedent and cause unnecessary grief.

So far the Mia hasn't asked for any money for the parents but for sure I'll keep your advice in mind should it ever reach this stage.

R U joking or serious? Your wife budgets money for your Mia Noi? If it is not true, why do you waste time & space posting nonsense?

I was actually serious. It'll probably take you some time to work out the fine print in thai family life but don't worry once your gf/wife hits menopause you'll have a better understanding what I was trying to say.

[a2396]

Your last post makes perfect sense MTW and I actually tend to agree this time.

Luckily my own situation is not so complicated; basically I'm a giver and Mrs Meom is a taker so we sort of complement eachother which overall makes for a good partnership. She's a bit stingy when it comes to setting a budget for the Mia Noi but I hope we can work that out in due course.

In fact the Mia is causing much more grief than the Mrs because she expects equal treatment and status symbols. I can't seem to explain to her that as a number two she will never rise to the #1 position because it would be to much of a precedent and cause unnecessary grief.

So far the Mia hasn't asked for any money for the parents but for sure I'll keep your advice in mind should it ever reach this stage.

R U joking or serious? Your wife budgets money for your Mia Noi? If it is not true, why do you waste time & space posting nonsense?

I was actually serious. It'll probably take you some time to work out the fine print in thai family life but don't worry once your gf/wife hits menopause you'll have a better understanding what I was trying to say.

You are fortunate to have such an understanding & cooperative wife. How much does the Mia get every month?

[a2396]

As i said i think this is a troll subject, you seem to have skated around this one so here goes,, could it be that most of the not working girls that are given an allowance are ex bar girls that their partners dont want them to work in the bar and a monthly allowance to the rent a wife is made to prevent this ? .im not being smart, it happened to me many moons ago , she said if you dont pay me montly im off back to the bar !. so it was bye bye, and i have never been involved with a bg since,i saw it for what it was a rental sutuation,........

I don't know what I have skated around, but you are correct there is an element of blackmail in this. If she doesn't get the amount she desires, she goes to some distasteful line of work. She is really not the problem here, it is her family (Mother or whoever), who have no problem with pimping their daughter. Through the months I have know her, I have seen various "Aunts" trying to steer her to some Karaoke/Bargirl or massage girl line of work. She was in BKK for a while doing who knows what & now back home. She is really a nice kid, whom I think doesn't have the stomach for it. However there is a bit of laziness on her part as well. No interest in education & choosey about what sort of job she will do. As for the rental girl aspect, most of them fit that description, if not all. If they get no money from the Farang, they are bye, bye. I have seen no exception to this and I do not do my choosing from bargirls. The Farang deal is different than with their own. Thai boys generally go for free.

[Maigo6]

Maybe you should do your choosing from bargirls, as I have known over the years many Farangs on the bones of their azz living with bargirls who did not say goodbye and paid for everything.

It's actually quite surprising at the ammount of Farangs that live in Pattaya with girls who pay the rent.

I once had a German friend who had a stunning girlfriend who worked in Sabai room massage, she made loads of Money, he was broke but she paid for everything and even gave him money to go out for a beer with me, why ? Cos she loved him.

They now are happily married and live in Germany.

Edited June 14, 2007 by Maigo6

[mikethevigoman]

Maybe you should do your choosing from bargirls, as I have known over the years many Farangs on the bones of their azz living with bargirls who did not say goodbye and paid for everything.

It's actually quite surprising at the ammount of Farangs that live in Pattaya with girls who pay the rent.

I once had a German friend who had a stunning girlfriend who worked in Sabai room massage, she made loads of Money, he was broke but she paid for everything and even gave him money to go out for a beer with me, why ? Cos she loved him.

They now are happily married and live in Germany.

I think you will find that a general exception to the rule buddy . we all know more people that went home broke with their tails between their legs. as i said, i had my fun, learnt the lesson and moved on,.pity more didnt do likewise,.but i have to say, a friend of mine and me met a gang of girls that worked at sabai and they took us out one night and we paid for nothing,. they all drove new 4x4s or suchlike,. and it was fun, but get involved with one ? oh no. id rather fight tyson,that would be over much quicker and less painful !

Edited June 14, 2007 by mikethevigoman

[mikethevigoman]

Maybe you should do your choosing from bargirls, as I have known over the years many Farangs on the bones of their azz living with bargirls who did not say goodbye and paid for everything.

It's actually quite surprising at the ammount of Farangs that live in Pattaya with girls who pay the rent.

I once had a German friend who had a stunning girlfriend who worked in Sabai room massage, she made loads of Money, he was broke but she paid for everything and even gave him money to go out for a beer with me, why ? Cos she loved him.

They now are happily married and live in Germany.

By the way, most of that quote above is not mine ?

[kuma]

ah i think i get it, only bg can be asked to give up their jobs and the income that goes with it - and of course they are supposed to be forever grateful that someone is willing to take them from their job and compensation and offer nothing as compensation.

well i have jobs tesching in the north of thailand for everyone that is of this opinion. of course you have to give up your current job. you will not get paid, but you will get food and lodging and taken out from time to time for fun, but you will have no problem with this because you are so truly happy and thankful that in return for giving up your occupation you have been given food and lodging and sometimes taken out...oh and by the way the teaching job can end at any time with no warning and you will have a week to get your self orgaanized (bed and food provided) and then you must be gone.

so all interested parties be sure to let me know

i find it amazing that so many people still think that bg sell themsleves any more than plumbers, doctors, policeman etc etc etc. everyone sells themselves and what they can do for the best possible deal they can get that suits thier circumstances. this crap about "oh but they have sex" is for the most brutal deadheads of the most brutal suburbs some of our more ridiculous societies have created imo and perhaps that is where people who think bg's are below others "legitimate whores" would feel more comfortable - all bkk needs are more people with those hang ups hangin around.

As i said i think this is a troll subject, you seem to have skated around this one so here goes,, could it be that most of the not working girls that are given an allowance are ex bar girls that their partners dont want them to work in the bar and a monthly allowance to the rent a wife is made to prevent this ? .im not being smart, it happened to me many moons ago , she said if you dont pay me montly im off back to the bar !. so it was bye bye, and i have never been involved with a bg since,i saw it for what it was a rental sutuation,........

[Nicko]

I just read the whole lot of this in one sitting....

I know if I had the money I wouldn't blink at helping out.

Every situation is different and should be taken on its own merit.

Look at the big picture (reading these forums really help) & make up your own mind.

There is not set monthly wage/allowance I reckon.

Life changes and buffalo's / cars / tuk tuks & you: all have an expiry date and don't last forever.

Do what makes you happy...

Too easy.