Seperated Thai/farang Parents (divorce Imminent)

[Head Snake]

I had a fighting wife in the states. What a fricken headache and an embarassment!!! Wife pulling a knife - been there. I was with the .... for 3 years and it took 5 years for her to sign the papers. 5 years of bootlicking, walking on eggshells, and having to answer her calls and be nice. Once the papers were signed, I refused any contact with her. Boy, was she pissed she signed the papers because it released me from her idiotic games.

Hopefully, your separation and divorce don't take that long.

I am interested to hear if american divorce laws will be necessitated. that is the problem I see with getting a lawyer. If you get one, she may get one and then.... watch out!!

Try the amicable split first. Lawyers should be the last option. That's my opinion.

Just ask any american who has been put through the ringer with a "good" evil sadistic divorce lawyer

[Begbie]

After many physically abusive fights with my wife (her hitting me) with one instance of her pulling a kitchen knife on me, I have seperated from my Thai wife. I asked her to leave.

The knife was the straw that broke the camels back. There are many dead husbands who's wives only pulled a knife on them one time. For me, once was enough.

For now, we are still married with a verbal agreement to seperate.

Also, verbally agreeing to share custody of my one year old son, I let him go home with her. I'm supposed to pick him up at the end of the month and bring him to Chiang Mai to stay with me for a few weeks.

Yesterday, my wife went to Bangkok to find work. So my son is alone with the grandparents. That alone makes me nervouse.

I am a retired soldier so I don't work. I have plenty of time to take care of him. I want him to spend time with me for now before I start school in August here in Chiang Mai. After school starts, I am not sure I will have a lot of time to spend with him as I expect to be studying alot.

My wife told me her parents do not want me to pick up my son because they don't think I can take care of him alone. My wife's father said if I let my son and wife leave then I must not care about him.

I stressed to my wife our son is not why we are currently seperated, this issues are physical abuse and the threat with the kitchen knife. There are other issues but those are the ones that made me decide to seperate.

My name is on my son's Thai birth certificant. His name is in the families tambien bann (blue book).

I would much rather solve this in a way that does not involve agressive behavior or legal threats.

I do want the grandmother in his life. However, for many reasons, I do not want my wife's father to have any input in any decision concerning my son.

Legally, can I go and demand they give me my son? If so, how should I proceed?

This is an example of what often happens when you marry a girl from the, umm, let's call it, "Entertainment Industry".

A large percentage of these girls suffer from various forms of personality disorders that are very hard to see at first and can be well disguised for substantial periods of time.

It's when the going gets rough that their mood swings and irrational behaviour come to the fore.

On the other hand, this type of behaviour is rare in your non-"entertainment industry" Thai girl. Sure, there are some with disorders, but the percentages change dramatically if they haven't spent time in "the industry".

So, my advice is, fellas, look for a girl outside of "the industry" and your chances of a wonderful relationship with a great girl are much better.

[Etrigan]

Begbie - With all due respect, what you posted is a load of <deleted>.

Mental health is not exclusively reserved for your "entertainment" consultants, believe it or not, it affects a all members of society.

[Begbie]

Mental health is not exclusively reserved for your "entertainment" consultants, believe it or not, it affects a all members of society.

True, but as I said, the percentages greatly increase with girls from the industry.

[lamphun]

Mental health is not exclusively reserved for your "entertainment" consultants, believe it or not, it affects a all members of society.

True, but as I said, the percentages greatly increase with girls from the industry.

You've got a point. A lot of these girls have been doing speed every night for years. Fries the brain.

[mellow1]

I think the biggest mistake you can possibly make,is to loose your son.Or have one of these see you sometimes,I really care relationships.

The relationship that you can create with your son,will more than likely surpass, any other relationship you ever had. But of course you would have to dedicate a lot of time to it.Some people aren't ready for that,or plain incapable.You have to decide what your priorities are.But I believe that if you let your son go,and you have the sometime, when I have time,relationship.You will rightfully become a bitter,remorseful,old man dreaming how life would have been different had you loved and kept your son. Hope you do, or try, as hard as you can to do, the right thing.

[richard10365]

I think the biggest mistake you can possibly make,is to loose your son.Or have one of these see you sometimes,I really care relationships.

The relationship that you can create with your son,will more than likely surpass, any other relationship you ever had. But of course you would have to dedicate a lot of time to it.Some people aren't ready for that,or plain incapable.You have to decide what your priorities are.But I believe that if you let your son go,and you have the sometime, when I have time,relationship.You will rightfully become a bitter,remorseful,old man dreaming how life would have been different had you loved and kept your son. Hope you do, or try, as hard as you can to do, the right thing.

I've had 2 converstions with my wife today. The first was very bitter and she told me I would never see my son again.

The second she was a a little easier to talk to. Her one point she keeps bringing up is she wants me to forgive her and pretend none of this happened. She says she has changed.

But the damage is done. I don't feel any love her anymore. There is nothing there. She doesn't understand what she has done destroyed my feelings for her.

When I tell her this, she returns to the bitter feelings she felt in the first conversation.

I do feel sorry for her. I am trying to understand how difficult this must be for her. I want to help her, but I cannot give her what she wants.

[a99az]

I live in Chiang Mai with my Thai wife and child, I feel for you. If I can help drop me an e-mail.

Graham

[Heng]

Mental health is not exclusively reserved for your "entertainment" consultants, believe it or not, it affects a all members of society.

True, but as I said, the percentages greatly increase with girls from the industry.

You've got a point. A lot of these girls have been doing speed every night for years. Fries the brain.

Most of these girls having had to sleep with 5000+ guys from all over the world probably doesn't do much for the psyche/one's self esteem/etc., either.

[wolfmanjack]

Thanks for all the replies everyone.

Although the physical abuse has not been going on a long time, it has escalated because I have done little to stop it. When I do try to defend myself, it enrages her and makes the situation worse.

Once while she was doing this I tried to leave the house because I felt I was reaching my breaking point and tried to leave. She blocked the door and wouldn't let me leave.

Another time when I tried to stop her from hitting me, I pushed her quite hard to the ground to shock her into stopping hitting me and to display my stregnth as man in order to let her know it is a foolish thing to hit someone so much more powerful than you.

Other than that, many cultural differnces have created huge fights. Things like letting the baby pee on the floor and then just wiping it up with a dirty shirt. After that, just wiping the baby down with another rag to dry off his pee and not totally cleaning him with a baby wipe or something cleaner.

If the baby does wear a diaper, after the baby poops or pees, she leaves the dirty diaper on the floor and I would find myself picking up 4 or 5 dirty diapers a day.

She felt is was necessary to sleep with the baby for an entire year in a different bed and not use the 4000 baht wooden crib I had bought him.

Breathing on the head when it gets hurt to stop the crying. When that didn't work, sticking her finger in the charcol from the grill and then put a charcol spot above his eyes. When that didn't work, she would place her underwear on his head like a hat like it had some magical powers. That' about the time my cultural patience wore out and I hit the roof.

Other things, in the rare times that she cooked, it would only be for the baby. Strange how she cooked for me before the baby. If she didn't cook, and this was often, she would go to the market and buy food.

And why, after a man marrys a woman, does the woman think she no longer has to comb her hiar or make herself look nice. Some days I felt like I was in a National Geographic special.

these are not cultural differences. None of which you have mentioned above are normal in thailand as far as i have seen except letting them pee on the floor.