Chinese boy, 5, abandoned at kindergarten by father after he found out the child is not his biological son

 

A five-year-old boy has been abandoned at his kindergarten in China after his father discovered he was not his biological son.

The little boy, identified in local media reports by the pseudonym “Xiao Rui”, was abandoned at the kindergarten last week by his father after he dropped the child off for the day.

When no one arrived to collect the boy that afternoon, staff contacted his parents and relatives, but none of them wanted him back.

https://www.scmp.com/news/people-culture/social-welfare/article/3184876/chinese-boy-5-abandoned-kindergarten-father

Sick thinking.

It is clear the man was wrong,  at least in how he went about things. But this is a useful learning moment. 

 

Paternity fraud is a real problem. Around 5-15% of men are victims of it. It gets ignored as men are told to "man up", but women would be shocked if their child was swapped in the hospital after giving birth. 

 

Obviously, to a Westerner, especially a Boomer, the man's behaviour is excessive. There should be formal mechanisms in place to abandon the child. This problem arises in the West too. Whilst Mothers can legally abandon a child at a place of safety, such as in front of a police station, or even put the child up for adoption, often without a need to notify the father, the men can do nothing.

 

With increased expectations of gender equality, the generations younger than the boomers are increasingly aware of this disparity between the Mother and Father. The social contract can and will change. 

 

The issue is the Mother's behaviour. Why is it going to take her a week to pick up the child? This has to be speculative, since the article provides no details, it does look like she left the child with the man, kept it secret he was not the biological father, and then finally told him. Can there be anything crueler? 

 

Of course, to reiterate, his behaviour is wrong, but we need to talk about ways to resolve this gender disparity and to ensure the child has a decent life despite any disgraceful behaviour of the Mother. Blaming the father only works for a Boomer mentality. The world has moved on. 

 

Edited July 13, 20223 yr by Gaccha

24 minutes ago, Gaccha said:

It is clear the man was wrong,  at least in how he went about things. But this is a useful learning moment. 

 

Paternity fraud is a real problem. Around 5-15% of men are victims of it. It gets ignored as men are told to "man up", but women would be shocked if their child was swapped in the hospital after giving birth. 

 

Obviously, to a Westerner, especially a Boomer, the man's behaviour is excessive. There should be formal mechanisms in place to abandon the child. This problem arises in the West too. Whilst Mothers can legally abandon a child at a place of safety, such as in front of a police station, or even put the child up for adoption, often without a need to notify the father, the men can do nothing.

 

With increased expectations of gender equality, the generations younger than the boomers are increasingly aware of this disparity between the Mother and Father. The social contract can and will change. 

 

The issue is the Mother's behaviour. Why is it going to take her a week to pick up the child? This has to be speculative, since the article provides no details, it does look like she left the child with the man, kept it secret he was not the biological father, and then finally told him. Can there be anything crueler? 

 

Of course, to reiterate, his behaviour is wrong, but we need to talk about ways to resolve this gender disparity and to ensure the child has a decent life despite any disgraceful behaviour of the Mother. Blaming the father only works for a Boomer mentality. The world has moved on. 

 

No decent human being would abandon a child like this.  The 'father' seemed perfectly happy with the child when he thought it was his.  

 

Mothers do not have the right to just abandon a child.  Safe haven laws, where they exist, do not extend beyond infancy.  A 5 year old would not be covered under a safe haven.  

 

I would take a wild guess that the parents are separated and the mother is in a different province.  

 

Fathers, as long as they acknowledge paternity, have the same rights as a mother.  A child cannot be put up for adoption without the permission of BOTH parents.   

 

Your little rant sort of falls flat when you consider just what kind of a father this man really is.  

No. Anyone and everyone involved in abandoning this child is a foul excuse for a human being. 

Edited July 13, 20223 yr by Scott

*deleted post edited out*

 

I first visited Beijing in 1989.

 

You might have heard stories of baby girls abandoned in the streets by families wanting a boy.

 

These are not just ‘stories’, I saw babies wrapped in bundles, abandoned on the pavement outside the Beijing railway station, not once, but every time I passed through the station, not one baby but several every time.

 

It remains one of the most disturbing things I have ever witnessed.

 

 

Edited July 13, 20223 yr by Scott

5 minutes ago, Chomper Higgot said:

I first visited Beijing in 1989.

 

You might have heard stories of baby girls abandoned in the streets by families wanting a boy.

 

These are not just ‘stories’, I saw babies wrapped in bundles, abandoned on the pavement outside the Beijing railway station, not once, but every time I passed through the station, not one baby but several every time.

 

It remains one of the most disturbing things I have ever witnessed.

 

 

off topic

1 hour ago, Credo said:

Fathers, as long as they acknowledge paternity, have the same rights as a mother.  A child cannot be put up for adoption without the permission of BOTH parents.   

Would point out the guy wasn't the father so has no responsibility towards the child. 

4 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Would point out the guy wasn't the father so has no responsibility towards the child. 

This story is about a child abuse incident.

4 minutes ago, ozimoron said:

This story is about a child abuse incident.

Don't see any wrongdoing in the guys actions. Do see wrongdoing in the mothers actions. 

 

Headline is wrong as guy wasn't child's father. 

Edited July 13, 20223 yr by BritManToo

39 minutes ago, Beer Is Life said:

Maybe the timing could have been better, but leaving the kid at school is better than just abandoning him on the street.  Need to track the mother down and make her take responsibility.  

No. 
 

All involved in abandoning this child need to take responsibility for this repulsive behaviour. 

3 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Don't see any wrongdoing in the guys actions. Do see wrongdoing in the mothers actions. 

 

Headline is wrong as guy wasn't child's father. 

we know your attitudes toward women already. The "father" was the child's legal parent, biological or not. Try to get away with that argument in your country.

4 minutes ago, ozimoron said:

we know your attitudes toward women already. The "father" was the child's legal parent, biological or not. Try to get away with that argument in your country.

And we know your attitudes towards men! 

 

I very much doubt China has any laws concerning the man in this case. 

Same in the UK, not your biological child, not your problem (unless you knew and adopted the child). 

Edited July 13, 20223 yr by BritManToo

Presumably the man lived with the boy and the boy's mother during the five years of the boy's life. 

Watching a child grow, learning to walk, to speak, to respond, is a wonderful experience. Didn't he love the child throughout those five years as he shared happy times, seeing his boy grow?

Then how can he abandon him? 

Heartless.

8 hours ago, BritManToo said:

Would point out the guy wasn't the father so has no responsibility towards the child. 

That is not correct.  If his name is listed as the father, he is the father.   He would have had custody of the child since China does not have joint custody laws.  One parent has custody and has the right to make decisions about the child.   Here's a snippet about how it works, legally:

 

In China, joint custody effectively doesn't exist; instead one parent is awarded sole custody, which not only means that the child lives with them, but that they have the right to make all important decisions related to the child's well-being.

 

https://www.international-divorce.com/china_the_terrifying_reality

 

 

 

 

So he wasn't the father he was the babysitter.

 

 

This is why not to get a male babysitter. 

 

They'll drop them off to school then not pick them up.

4 hours ago, bannork said:

Presumably the man lived with the boy and the boy's mother during the five years of the boy's life. 

Watching a child grow, learning to walk, to speak, to respond, is a wonderful experience. Didn't he love the child throughout those five years as he shared happy times, seeing his boy grow?

Then how can he abandon him? 

Heartless.

He's a mainland Chinese man.....not really known for their compassion and sentiments.