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Needing some advice

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  • Popular Post

Hi All,

in need of some advices here.

I’ve met this thai girl 2 months ago with which I hit it off with. Bar-girl, started with talking and going out. No special time only talks and going out.

Until she stated she liked me.

Our relationship shifted as bf/gf. I love being with her and we’re having (I think) a good time.

She refuses to stop working until end of the year, once she has enough on the side and is sure I just don’t have a fling for her.

I proposed to pay her many times but she refuses, even when I offered her to pay for her restaurant.

She’s out of a bad relationship where she’d be at home and recieve money from her ex like a caged

bird. Thing is, it’s killing me to know she may be with someone else, doing something kinky. I’m supposed to meet her family end of year when she stops working but I’m not sure I can still hold on the month and half to come. I think she means her words, I know she wants to be independant, I know she is responsible for her family and kid.

But she willingly putting me through this hell for her self-preservation.
She also has a male friend she talks to but hasn’t told him about our relationship yet, while she already talked to her sister about it.

How should I cope with the remaining month and a half? I’m being faithful while she can’t.

Can you afford to go her bar every night and pay her what she usually charges for sex ?

  • Author

She doesn't want me to.

She'd rather wish I keep it.
I can only pay for restaurants when we're together.

 

If she'd accept me to pay, I'd pay her in full and move on from this unhealthy situation.

But as she said, she "wants to earn her own money and she will stop end of the year. I can then take care of her and meet her mom"

  • Popular Post

Be honest - would you go to a red light district in your home country and go to a sex bar there to find a girlfriend?

  • Popular Post
6 hours ago, pouli said:

She also has a male friend she talks to but hasn’t told him about our relationship yet, while she already talked to her sister about it.

You are being played. Stop thinking with your southern brain and get your act together. As was stated would you be making all these plans with a hooker from your own country?

But she's different Batman....

  • Popular Post
6 hours ago, pouli said:

How should I cope with the remaining month and a half? I’m being faithful while she can’t.

Marry her, Pouli! She's a keeper! ???? 

  • Popular Post

13.jpg.d7df26e5e55c32a89de3b342da6c0c93.jpg

1 hour ago, 2baht said:

Marry her, Pouli! She's a keeper! ???? 

Yes marry her...

"She refuses to stop working until end of the year, once she has enough on the side and is sure I just don’t have a fling for her."

 

Who is kidding who here.

As a bar girl is is making at best 400 baht a day if she is lucky. Barely enough to live on unless she is in a side hussle .

So, either take her out if you really care or move on mate.

The town is full of girls like her

I think I found a good girlfriend for him

 

https://vt.tiktok.com/ZSRwF8Rer/

 

You have to play the video to understand why. 

 

Edited by Mickeymaus

15 hours ago, pouli said:

She doesn't want me to.

She'd rather wish I keep it.
I can only pay for restaurants when we're together.

 

If she'd accept me to pay, I'd pay her in full and move on from this unhealthy situation.

But as she said, she "wants to earn her own money and she will stop end of the year. I can then take care of her and meet her mom"

There would probably be quite a few guys on forums like this who have been in similar situations, me included, when I first came here 16 years ago, and it's all part of a learning curve in regards to getting to know Thai culture and Thai bar girls.

 

I thought I'd met a lovely girl who was a "waitress" in a pool hall and we got on famously, often taking trips around the island on her day off and seeing each other most nights, when she would stay at my hotel.

 

She never asked for money for anything, however from time to time I would give her a little lump sum to go shopping, and everything seemed great, and I think I had fallen in love with her (yes I know, stupid is as stupid does).

 

Imagine my surprise when one day I met up with her and she said that she had something to tell me......she had a friend coming over from the USA and he wanted her to travel around with him and stay with him, explaining that they had been in touch for some time and he had occasionally sent her money and was prepared to pay a lump sum for her company (can't remember the amount now).

 

I was devastated and said something along the lines that how could she do this because I was her boyfriend, and I was visibly upset and really couldn't believe this was happening because we had been "so good together".

 

Nothing I could say would change her mind and sure enough she went off with him when he came over. After he had left I caught up with her again and tried to rekindle the relationship, but it just wasn't the same for me, even more so when she would be staying with me and the phone would ring in the early hours of the morning and she would get out of bed and go to the toilet to answer it; so I guessed it was him.

 

I couldn't believe that she had done this especially after the time we had spent together, but a couple of guys who had been here for some time previous to this, put me straight as to how "things worked here" so difficult as it was, I had to move on, and did.

 

However a little later on I did meet a lovely Thai lady who had never worked in a bar and was a junior accountant in a local hotel, and we started a great relationship, so there are some good ladies around, but it takes time to get to know "how things work here". 

 

So the advice I would give you is: – take your time and meet other women who don't work in bars and get to know a few other guys here, as well as women, and learn from their knowledge and experience.
 

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