Quickies....

QUICKIES....

Man comes home, finds his wife with his friend in bed. He shoots his friend dead. Wife says, "Keep that up and you'll lose ALL your friends."

********** Small Boy writes to Santa Claus, "send me a brother." Santa writes back, "SEND ME YOUR MOTHER!"

********** Three Feelings: What's the difference between stress, tension and panic? Stress is when your wife is pregnant, Tension is when your girlfriend is pregnant, Panic is when both are pregnant.

********** Teacher: Do you know the importance of a period? Kid: Yea, once my sister said she missed one and my mom fainted, my dad had a heart attack & our driver ran away.

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Woman asks a man traveling with six children if they're all his kids. Man says, "No, I work in a condom factory & these are customer complaints."

********** Son asks his dad the difference between confidence and confidential. His dad says, "you're my son, I'm confident of that. Your friend is also my son, that's confidential!"

********** Mother says to her teenage daughter: "It's time we talk about sex. Daughter (excitedly): Sure mom, tell me what you want to know.