5 Causes of New or Increasing Negativity in Older Adults

[Social Media 4140]

If an aging loved one has always been abrasive, complaining may be the only way they know how to communicate. It is likely that they aren’t even aware of how their attitude affects others. No, their constant complaining and negativity—especially when it comes to the things you go out of your way to do for them—is not acceptable.

 

https://www.agingcare.com/articles/deal-with-too-much-complaining-from-elders-141481.htm

 

 

"A Senior’s Complaints Might Stem from Boredom

When people are in the workforce, raising children and socializing with friends, they may feel they have to rein in their negative personality traits. Once their responsibilities decrease or they retire, they may feel they have “earned” the right to say exactly what they think and feel"

[BritManToo 76773]

As you get older you realise nothing you were told about the world was true.

I would say, negativity increasing with age, is more to do with experience and disappointment.

 

As for the article ...... mostly BS IMHO.

"Why do seniors complain so much even though they have people working hard to make their lives easier?"

No 'people' ever worked to make my old age easier, unless I paid them.

Edited December 27, 2022 by BritManToo

[Celsius 3012]

Excellent article for AseanNow aging population 

[bkk6060 20309]

From my observation mostly fat, low life success, low money, bad relationships, substance abouse issues.

I understand some complaining but the constant 90% of some peoples words negative and complaining mostly about things they cannot change is exhausting to be around.  I try to avoid these people just can suck the life out of you.

[EVENKEEL 13982]

Old people have earned the right to remove the filter. 

[Lee65 494]

It's the young people's incessant, mindless, positivity that drives me crazy.  😉

[GammaGlobulin 3008]

Absurdism 

 

Eugene Ionesco 

 

Rhinoceros 

 

Too much Reality 

 

 

[GammaGlobulin 3008]

58 minutes ago, GammaGlobulin said:

Absurdism 

 

Eugene Ionesco 

 

Rhinoceros 

 

Too much Reality 

 

 

Tink too much 

(the 5th cause) 

 

 

[Walker88 11438]

14 hours ago, BritManToo said:

As you get older you realise nothing you were told about the world was true.

I would say, negativity increasing with age, is more to do with experience and disappointment.

 

As for the article ...... mostly BS IMHO.

"Why do seniors complain so much even though they have people working hard to make their lives easier?"

No 'people' ever worked to make my old age easier, unless I paid them.

I have no idea what that means.

 

I was 'told' little. I observed and came to conclusions, some of which were altered as I learned more.

 

One thing I know for a fact, but which many people seem to believe: There is no grand cabal that cooperates to control or rule the world or keep so-called 'sheeple' in line.

 

What there are are people who compete with each other and want to beat those they think are peers. For those who are not their peers, they couldn't care less about them.

 

I have heard so many silly tales of things like Davos, Bilderberg, Bohemian Grove, the Trilateral Commission, Skull&Bones, the Council on Foreign Relations, QAnon, etc.

 

QAnon, of course, is pure nonsense.

 

Davos, for example, is where guys go to compare (nickname for Richard) length or show off the interiors of their new Gulfstream.

 

In reality, if one uber wealthy guy says "up", there is another uber wealthy or powerful guy who says "down". Get to the top of the mountain, and there's a guy intent on knocking you off. Also, the world is so complex with so many variables, nobody is clever enough to manipulate much of anything, at least not for any length of time.

 

People who hold conspiratorial views like to think someone cares they exist, and wants to manipulate them. In reality, the vast majority of humans are meaningless to all but their families and friends.

 

That should be liberating, as nobody is out to fool anybody. Nobody really cares what you think or what you do, or even if you live tomorrow or die.

 

I have been fortunate enough to both be in the halls of power and become rather wealthy. What I learned is that nobody really knows anything, nobody is anywhere near as competent as outsiders might think, and even the powerful tend to think 'others' know more than them.

 

The truth is most everybody walks around blind, but some (myself included) just stumble into dumb luck and end up with a fun, interesting and comfortable life.

 

As for curmudgeons, I suspect most old guys are simply disappointed with what they achieved or did not achieve in life, realize they're much nearer the end than the beginning, and they tend toward bitterness because of both of these things.

[HuskerDo2 2737]

Leave the older folks alone. They have an opinion just like the younger generation. Most of the older generation likes "real" music for instance instead of the C'RAP' music young people go for these days. It's ok to allow them to have their opinions.

 

The article certainly has "opinions" of the older folks. In what way is that any different than older folks having an opposing view. 

 

Also, older folks might be experiencing health issues that no one is aware of. That might make them a tad grumpy at times. This is something that the younger "know-it-alls" will experience eventually.

 

Bottom line is all about respect. It's always best to respect your elders no matter the situation. That's how I was raised. I hope the younger generation obliges.  

[thaibeachlovers 48737]

1 hour ago, HuskerDo2 said:

Leave the older folks alone. They have an opinion just like the younger generation. Most of the older generation likes "real" music for instance instead of the C'RAP' music young people go for these days. It's ok to allow them to have their opinions.

 

The article certainly has "opinions" of the older folks. In what way is that any different than older folks having an opposing view. 

 

Also, older folks might be experiencing health issues that no one is aware of. That might make them a tad grumpy at times. This is something that the younger "know-it-alls" will experience eventually.

 

Bottom line is all about respect. It's always best to respect your eldesrs no matter the situation. That's how I was raised. I hope the younger generation obliges.  

You make excellent points, especially about the electronic garbage young people like. I don't care that they play it for themselves, but they insist on playing it so loudly that an entire community are forced to listen to it against their will.

 

Other things I don't like about the young generation in this brave new world of ours is that some have no respect for the cops, because they know the cops can't do anything about them other than taking them home to their uncaring parents after their most recent ram raiding escapade.

[ukrules 33321]

2 hours ago, Walker88 said:

One thing I know for a fact, but which many people seem to believe: There is no grand cabal that cooperates to control or rule the world or keep so-called 'sheeple' in line.

 

2 hours ago, Walker88 said:

People who hold conspiratorial views like to think someone cares they exist, and wants to manipulate them. In reality, the vast majority of humans are meaningless to all but their families and friends.

 

That should be liberating, as nobody is out to fool anybody. Nobody really cares what you think or what you do, or even if you live tomorrow or die.

Agree 100% on the above, the people (conspiracy theory believing nut jobs) who think someone wants to control them could be compared to worker ants.

Nobody knows they exist, 'they' never will and certainly don't care about controlling them, what they think or anything they do.

There's nothing to control, they're mindless workers, even more so once retired.

 

[thaibeachlovers 48737]

40 minutes ago, ukrules said:

 

Agree 100% on the above, the people (conspiracy theory believing nut jobs) who think someone wants to control them could be compared to worker ants.

Nobody knows they exist, 'they' never will and certainly don't care about controlling them, what they think or anything they do.

There's nothing to control, they're mindless workers, even more so once retired.

 

Agree. The days of a government that actually cares about citizens except at voting time are long gone, IMO.

[ozimoron 22435]

I find it mildly depressing that the baby boomers who were the founders of the "age of enlightenment" have mainly just turned into bitter old men and women as they aged. Unfortunately I am one of that demographic, born in the 50's but I like to think I'm not jaded and bitter and harbour no "fixed beliefs" or intolerance for people who don't look like me.

[Mac Mickmanus 16105]

10 minutes ago, ozimoron said:

I find it mildly depressing that the baby boomers who were the founders of the "age of enlightenment" have mainly just turned into bitter old men and women as they aged. Unfortunately I am one of that demographic, born in the 50's but I like to think I'm not jaded and bitter and harbour no "fixed beliefs" or intolerance for people who don't look like me.

You sound wonderful and amazing .

Do you have a fan Club that I could join ?

[ozimoron 22435]

4 minutes ago, Mac Mickmanus said:

You sound wonderful and amazing .

Do you have a fan Club that I could join ?

You're in it.

[thaibeachlovers 48737]

On 12/28/2022 at 9:47 AM, ozimoron said:

I find it mildly depressing that the baby boomers who were the founders of the "age of enlightenment" have mainly just turned into bitter old men and women as they aged. Unfortunately I am one of that demographic, born in the 50's but I like to think I'm not jaded and bitter and harbour no "fixed beliefs" or intolerance for people who don't look like me.

I must have missed that "age of enlightenment" then. Perhaps because I was too busy working to lay about using drugs and spreading STDs.

Not that it did me any good in the end. After the women suckered me into a relationship it was they that got the benefit of my hard work, not myself. IMO marriage is a bad idea for men.

I guess I'm one of your "bitter old men".

[bendejo 11793]

On 12/27/2022 at 1:17 AM, Lee65 said:

It's the young people's incessant, mindless, positivity that drives me crazy.  😉

For me it's the narcissism, this obsession they have for taking pics of themselves.  But I can look away and forget it all, which is getting easier in my old age.

 

On 12/27/2022 at 12:47 PM, ozimoron said:

I find it mildly depressing that the baby boomers who were the founders of the "age of enlightenment" have mainly just turned into bitter old men and women as they aged. Unfortunately I am one of that demographic, born in the 50's but I like to think I'm not jaded and bitter and harbour no "fixed beliefs" or intolerance for people who don't look like me.

I'm in the same demographic.  Around 1970 I noticed that for a lot people they had the appearance thing going on (hair, clothes, pictures on their walls, claiming they took certain drugs or read certain books when they actually didn't, etc) but when it came to the values they just didn't "get it."  I realized cool was something that could be bought, and the ones who put the most effort into it were not cool at all.  Fortunately I figured out by the time I was 19 that living to impress others was not the way to go.  I can't count how many times I've heard, since those days have passed, guys telling me "you should have seen how cool I looked back then, I had hair like Jethro Tull!"

I still see the fringed jackets as the epitome of phony. 

 

 

[LaosLover 2645]

When you get older, people flat-out want to hear from you less.

 

A lot less. Even other old people feel this way about other old people, who are not them.

 

That's either a crushing disappointment and cause for anger, or a gift from God and permission to finally just eff the eff off and quietly do your own thing.

[BritManToo 76773]

On 12/28/2022 at 3:47 AM, ozimoron said:

I find it mildly depressing that the baby boomers who were the founders of the "age of enlightenment" have mainly just turned into bitter old men and women as they aged. Unfortunately I am one of that demographic, born in the 50's but I like to think I'm not jaded and bitter and harbour no "fixed beliefs" or intolerance for people who don't look like me.

Sorry if this is too real for you, but you come across as one of the most jaded and bitter on this forum.

And you are extremely intolerant of 'COVID deniers', 'Climate change deniers', et all.

[ozimoron 22435]

10 minutes ago, BritManToo said:

Sorry if this is too real for you, but you come across as one of the most jaded and bitter on this forum.

And you are extremely intolerant of 'COVID deniers', 'Climate change deniers', et all.

That's only because they never make a cogent argument, supported by links, in their posts. If they did so I would cut them a lot more slack and they might actually convince me that they are right. I don't have a closed mind. Meantime, the preponderance of evidence is firmly against these people. Science deniers are not cool people.

 

You no doubt have noticed that I reserve my most vitriolic language for their misinformation and lies. I don't attack anybody personally, just their opinions and especially when they refuse to post credible links. Did I mention that failure to post credible links is what triggers me the most? Such people waste out time and I don't understand why they (apparently) aren't given more time off the forum.

Edited December 29, 2022 by ozimoron

[BananaStrong 1213]

I never missed a day of work in 54 years.  Paid 49 percent in taxes, saved 2 million.  Divorced, three kids.  Now broke on 20 baht noodle soup running from the smart car.  Out of shape, old, neck pains…..

 

Neighbor is 19, does only fans and now has 11 million with YouTube money as well.  Can’t count up to 11 teen.  
 

my house has been broken into, the news scares me, and now I’m paying 100 dollars for an egg.

 

yeah, I can see why old get bitter…………….

 

YOLO my homie!!!!

[jvs 11678]

Haha,do you think the older people of now are bitter and grumpy?

Just wait until the later generations find out about life.

You know,the ones that were told they are special and could become anything

they wanted and who received a medal for just showing up.

I am old now also but far from grumpy or miserable,still have good health

a nice place to live,a great partner and happy everyday i wake up.

whats not to like about that?

Oh,yes and my old record player that works well again.

That is five reasons to be happy but i have more.

 

Edited December 29, 2022 by jvs

[zzaa09 10444]

This guy....

😘

 

 

 

 

[johnnybangkok 7658]

On 12/28/2022 at 12:07 AM, Walker88 said:

As for curmudgeons, I suspect most old guys are simply disappointed with what they achieved or did not achieve in life, realize they're much nearer the end than the beginning, and they tend toward bitterness because of both of these things.

Your whole post is very well put and I agree with the vast majority of it but I think I agree mostly with your last paragraph. I think disappointment in life and the bad decisions they have made (and can no longer rectify) means there are so many 'curmudgeons' around these days, desperately trying to remain relevant but mostly just trying to be heard (and of course with the internet they have the vehicle to do so). You see a lot of it here on AseanNow, with the usual suspects even popping up in this thread. They have an opinion (rarely based on facts and rarely other than anecdotal) and they'll be damned if that opinion won't be heard and damned if they will change it, even when presented with overwhelming evidence to the contrary.

 

But what they don't realise is this has been a trend for eons. The older generation dismissive of the younger generation whilst completely forgetting they used to be the younger generation themselves. A good example would be this quote that I gaurantee many posters here would agree with:-   

 

"The children now love luxury. They have bad manners, contempt for authority, they show disrespect to their elders.... They no longer rise when elders enter the room. They contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up dainties at the table, cross their legs, and are tyrants over their teachers."

 

That was from Aristotle some 2,400 years ago. 

[jvs 11678]

32 minutes ago, johnnybangkok said:

Your whole post is very well put and I agree with the vast majority of it but I think I agree mostly with your last paragraph. I think disappointment in life and the bad decisions they have made (and can no longer rectify) means there are so many 'curmudgeons' around these days, desperately trying to remain relevant but mostly just trying to be heard (and of course with the internet they have the vehicle to do so). You see a lot of it here on AseanNow, with the usual suspects even popping up in this thread. They have an opinion (rarely based on facts and rarely other than anecdotal) and they'll be damned if that opinion won't be heard and damned if they will change it, even when presented with overwhelming evidence to the contrary.

 

But what they don't realise is this has been a trend for eons. The older generation dismissive of the younger generation whilst completely forgetting they used to be the younger generation themselves. A good example would be this quote that I gaurantee many posters here would agree with:-   

 

"The children now love luxury. They have bad manners, contempt for authority, they show disrespect to their elders.... They no longer rise when elders enter the room. They contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up dainties at the table, cross their legs, and are tyrants over their teachers."

 

That was from Aristotle some 2,400 years ago. 

Try again,it was Socrates .

[johnnybangkok 7658]

2 hours ago, jvs said:

Try again,it was Socrates .

I stand corrected.

[OneMoreFarang 53635]

I wouldn't call myself old, but I am obviously a lot older than 30 years ago.

In general, I am positive, and I like to see the world in a positive way. But sometimes that is difficult.

 

Just today when I was in my usual coffee shop two maybe 20 old girls arrived together with their camera. 

They started to sit on a table and then one girl made maybe 20 pictures of the other girl. And then the other girl used the camera to make lots of pictures of the other girl. And then they changed their places and the whole procedure started again. And then the food arrived, and they made the same pictures again this time with food. And obviously lots of additional pictures from all angles just from the food.

 

A couple of the regular guests looked at that scenario and it was funny to see their faces. Like: Are you done yet? How long will you continue with that? Will you drink your coffee before it is cold or is it more important to make all those pictures?

 

I don't think anybody said anything, but I am sure most of us had negative thoughts. Why? Because we are all negative? Or because the word around us is going nuts?

These two girls are obviously only one of the examples. Others are all those people sitting together in groups in restaurants and everybody is looking at their phone, no conversation at all.

And then there was this guy today who crossed the street without paying any attention to the cars and bikes with his phone in front of his face. I honked my horn, and he shouted something in my direction. How dare I expect from him to look where he is going.

 

Sometimes it is difficult not to have negative ideas about all those other people around us.

[ozimoron 22435]

5 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

I wouldn't call myself old, but I am obviously a lot older than 30 years ago.

In general, I am positive, and I like to see the world in a positive way. But sometimes that is difficult.

 

Just today when I was in my usual coffee shop two maybe 20 old girls arrived together with their camera. 

They started to sit on a table and then one girl made maybe 20 pictures of the other girl. And then the other girl used the camera to make lots of pictures of the other girl. And then they changed their places and the whole procedure started again. And then the food arrived, and they made the same pictures again this time with food. And obviously lots of additional pictures from all angles just from the food.

 

A couple of the regular guests looked at that scenario and it was funny to see their faces. Like: Are you done yet? How long will you continue with that? Will you drink your coffee before it is cold or is it more important to make all those pictures?

 

I don't think anybody said anything, but I am sure most of us had negative thoughts. Why? Because we are all negative? Or because the word around us is going nuts?

These two girls are obviously only one of the examples. Others are all those people sitting together in groups in restaurants and everybody is looking at their phone, no conversation at all.

And then there was this guy today who crossed the street without paying any attention to the cars and bikes with his phone in front of his face. I honked my horn, and he shouted something in my direction. How dare I expect from him to look where he is going.

 

Sometimes it is difficult not to have negative ideas about all those other people around us.

I wish that I could have taken unlimited photos for free when I was young. I have very few photos of my early life and travels. Many of those that were taken were lost in a cyclone or heat affected.

Edited December 29, 2022 by ozimoron

[thaibeachlovers 48737]

14 hours ago, BritManToo said:

Sorry if this is too real for you, but you come across as one of the most jaded and bitter on this forum.

And you are extremely intolerant of 'COVID deniers', 'Climate change deniers', et all.

Agree 100%.