Where to find a girl friend in Thailand?

[habuspasha]

I returned to my wife in New York.  Put the 10 days in a locked box and threw away the key.  Six months later my wife was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease.  I then let myself return to Thailand and search for the charmer.  I found her and began the ten years of visits three or four times a year while I care for wife.

[OneMoreFarang]

8 minutes ago, habuspasha said:

I returned to my wife in New York.  Put the 10 days in a locked box and threw away the key.  Six months later my wife was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease.  I then let myself return to Thailand and search for the charmer.  I found her and began the ten years of visits three or four times a year while I care for wife.

Wow. A guy cares deeply for his wife and at the same time visits his girlfriend a couple of times a year in a foreign country. What a story. (I mean it in a positive way)

[Elkski]

I had good luck finding many nice older Thai women on okcupid and TF from 2016-2019.  At first I was stupid and I was only looking for sililar age to -10 years.  There were many 45-50 yr old professionals, teachers, directors, commodity traders, loan sharks and resold government land?, government employees, even a real top dog in BKK health dept.  Rich widows who had sworn off Thai men(is this std lie) and wanted to find a partner before it was to late.  Many could retire and get 50% salary for life with health insurance.  The health worker turned me off by her elitest attitude towards waitresses and everyone plus to short and not in my slot I decided.   She barked orders because she was used to having the red carpet treatment wherever she went. Her brother had one of those older houses in Bangkok right between all the high rise buildings and could speak English well.   Some had lots of wealth, house or houses, apartment buildings, cars, trucks, land.   The trader worked deals worth billions in gold or oil but she hardly had time to give toe plus out of my slot upon further inspection.  All her family seemed rich.  Before the big BKK flood she had a water company with 500 employees.   Many had friends who had good relationships with falang or  they saw  happy relationships on FB.  A couple I'm sure I could have scammed out of some money if that was my intent.  After talking online for weeks, months or days when we met it was like an old friend.  I broke a few hearts.   Fit non smoking, not heavy drinker, no gambling men are rare apparently.  I even had a few help me get to the airport, MRT, BTS, bus to go to my next adventure.  Some I had to come visit again and again. At 55-58 during this time I was being coached by a couple TVisa experienced guys I was confiding in. They said that 27 was the perfect age.  My oldest daughters age.  I did expand my range down to 35. I always kept looking for the one. No rush as they say 1000 more awaiting and that's how I felt. One day I was walking on the BTS platform at emporium and saw a group taking pictures against the big blue bear Xmas display  Jan 2nd 2019. 2 girls and man. She was wearing tomish clothes like she prefers so it must have been her white perfect smile or face that I saw from 50feet.  In mid stride I turned left and walked right up to the group. I was being respectful to the man and talking to him mostly until I could risk  talking to the one I liked  after I was pretty sure she wasn't his girlfriend .  My now wife says he was gay and she thought I was too.   I Did find out the 2 gals were co workers and what business  and name they worked at nearby. She thought it odd that I asked to take her picture. She wouldn't give me her line.   A few days later I showed up and the two coworkers were all happy to see me.  Then I was able to get her line.  It is a real commitment to try to get to know these good girls.  She didn't party, drink, go out, smoke or have children at 40. Her body was in the center of my slot. Her face and smile very pleasant to me.  Her dark and perfectly smooth isaan skin didn't need any more snake oil whitening products for me.  These gals work 6 days a week, 10-12 hour days and on Sunday need to rest and so laundry and iron uniforms for the week.   It's hard to get to spend time with them.  They can't meet up till 8pm and since they need to be going to work at 7:30 you feel guilty if it's later than 11pm.  2 weeks later she had a took an extra day off so we had 2 days to go to hua hin.  First time she wore a bikini in public she says. And mostly kept her wrap on.  On the beach all the porky foreign women were waddling around or walrusing in thongs.  7 return trips the next 2 years to see her  only but one explore in VN.  She was playing games and that straightened her up.   Hundreds of hours on line between visits.   After we last visited Jan 2020 I flew home after having COVID Jan 2-7, 5 days post transit through Shanghai.  And I knew I had to be with her.   K1 visa took from Feb 2020 until may 2021 due to trump and the embassy dip he appointed plus a bit if a delay from COVID.   So instead of 264day avg our visa took like 460 days.  If I just woukd have married her July 2019 trip and started a CR1 she would have been in USA 10 minths later.  It's not all golden as she doesn't always have the English vocabulary to tell me what's going on.  Different cultures.  I sometimes say she knows less than a 10 yr old American girl.  It takes Patience.  She didn't know how to use , garbage disposal, sectric can opener, oven, gas bbq grill, food processor, many tools a 3 yr old knows how to use.  She is liking life in America.  And this 6 week trip to Thailand and isaan is reminding her of the <deleted> she left behind.  

[Elkski]

Sorry didn't get all my errors corrected before timing out.  

[Hummin]

16 minutes ago, Elkski said:

Sorry didn't get all my errors corrected before timing out.  

You are most likely wrong about one thing, and she might not see her home as deleted as you do. Respect where she comes from, and respect she doesnt know everything.

 

Nothing hurt a thai lady more than talking bad about thai people, and thailand, even they seems to agree with you. 
 

Same as anyone coming to your home country and start bashing it, even you would agree on some of it, it still doesnt feel good when someone from outside points it out. 

[LaosLover]

My 59 year old white American wife is constantly chatted up by western men, often with Thai partners at their side.

 

They don't want to have sex with her -they'd rather die.

 

They want to talk to an educated female about something beyond "Somtum is good". She's 100% in on the joke that she's the ham sandwich that got brought to the Thailand picnic. She's non-judgmental and fascinated by the GF dynamic over here.

 

I'm thinking of setting her up with an Only Fans account. No nudity, but she will talk to saddo's trapped in Issan about Trump, Brexit, and old movies and music. Call it 50 baht a minute for her time.

[Elkski]

23 minutes ago, Hummin said:

You are most likely wrong about one thing, and she might not see her home as deleted as you do. Respect where she comes from, and respect she doesnt know everything.

 

Nothing hurt a thai lady more than talking bad about thai people, and thailand, even they seems to agree with you. 
 

Same as anyone coming to your home country and start bashing it, even you would agree on some of it, it still doesnt feel good when someone from outside points it out. 

I have considered this. She seems fine with the current government as do most Thais. We disagree on this.   I can live life in the village to the surprise and celebration of many.  My wife lived in BKK 20 years so she had realized many of the unsanitary practices and dangerous meal choices before I came along.  Now she has seen and been amazed at how cars stop for pedestrians, clean smooth sidewalks, not very much litter, I have worked hard to teach her proper food temp control which maybe an overkill as I've seen them leave food out for 2 days and eat it and not get sick.  I once returned to a south American sheep herders wagon to eat some fish I brought but instead we ate the remains of the lamb we cooked the night before that had just been stored in the saddle box for 20 hours.  Or seeing him eat unrefrigerated chicken stored in the same place for 3-4 days.  He did a smell test but I didn't partake.   

[Hummin]

3 minutes ago, LaosLover said:

My 59 year old white American wife is constantly chatted up by western men, often with Thai partners at their side.

 

They don't want to have sex with her -they'd rather die.

 

They want to talk an educated female about something beyond "Somtum is good". She's 100% in on the joke that she's the ham sandwich that got brought to the Thailand picnic. She's non-judgmental and fascinated by the GF dynamic over here.

 

I'm thinking of setting her up with an Only Fans account. No nudity, but she will talk to saddo's trapped in Issan about Trump, Brexit, and old movies and music. Call it 50 baht a minute for her time.

Thats true, and I also enjoy talking to western women in Thailand when I have the chance, and I have to admit I miss conversation with independent educated women alot who have creativity and have learned to think for themselves. And also who read books, look movies, and also listening to music and can talk about it. 

[Hummin]

5 minutes ago, Elkski said:

I have considered this. She seems fine with the current government as do most Thais. We disagree on this.   I can live life in the village to the surprise and celebration of many.  My wife lived in BKK 20 years so she had realized many of the unsanitary practices and dangerous meal choices before I came along.  Now she has seen and been amazed at how cars stop for pedestrians, clean smooth sidewalks, not very much litter, I have worked hard to teach her proper food temp control which maybe an overkill as I've seen them leave food out for 2 days and eat it and not get sick.  I once returned to a south American sheep herders wagon to eat some fish I brought but instead we ate the remains of the lamb we cooked the night before that had just been stored in the saddle box for 20 hours.  Or seeing him eat unrefrigerated chicken stored in the same place for 3-4 days.  He did a smell test but I didn't partake.   

We have all been there, and yea the sanitary conditions and food storing is of concern, and need to be adressed. 

[LaosLover]

And she was in the music biz. She was one of the first to book a RadioHead show in the states. And she can talk about stuff like that in a witty, informative, low-ego manner. And she loves a good chat.

 

I can see them thinking, as they ignore their local GF in an Italian restaurant:

 

"If I could somehow unscrew that head and stick it on a petite Thai body....."

[Elkski]

This eating of raw fish, shrimp, beef and liver is causing a high rate of liver cancer in Thailand.   I would eat properly made ceviche but  it's not available here.  Trying to get sister to understand cutting the veggies or cooked meat on the same log slice that the raw meat was cut on 20 mins ago has not been successful.  This log slices are so gross, never washed if it would even help with all the deep chop marks and after the flies covered it all the previous day.     I've never talked to falang woman here.  I enjoy sitting at a patio in soi Cowboy or nana at happy hour and watching the tourist families with small kids and couples walk by. I enjoy seeing the girls coming to work. Some dropped off by Thai partners on the scooter. Others arriving in clothes that you would never expect her to work at bars. Some Arive in wiork uniforms or close. Many time the look on the falang  guys face when he saw me sitting with my Thai gf half his wife's weight was flattering.  She puts up with this Ike a good woman should, except the smoke bothers her to much. 

[Woof999]

Working as a waitress in a cocktail bar.

 

Now 5 years later on she's got the world at her feet.

[habuspasha]

1 hour ago, OneMoreFarang said:

Wow. A guy cares deeply for his wife and at the same time visits his girlfriend a couple of times a year in a foreign country. What a story. (I mean it in a positive way)

In case you really mean this as positive, I should say that I have been with my wife for over 40 years so there is no way I would leave her or put her in a home.  The GF is just very different.  I love them both, in different ways.  The GF was born after I met my wife.

[Elkski]

1 minute ago, habuspasha said:

In case you really mean this as positive, I should say that I have been with my wife for over 40 years so there is no way I would leave her or put her in a home.  The GF is just very different.  I love them both, in different ways.  The GF was born after I met my wife.

I really think he meant it in a good way.  And I do too.  And I understand your predicament and your wife would probably support you being happy.   Good luck on your journey.  You are having to deal with one of the realities we all worry greatly about.  Only you can understand it fully.  No judgement would exist from any intelligent person 

[LaosLover]

4 minutes ago, habuspasha said:

In case you really mean this as positive, 

It's 100% against my religion to post anything serious here, BUT I too had a long-term care responsibility for a deceased wife. I went 4 years without a break of any kind. It def did my head in. 

 

I super-support you in being rational and getting some respite and emotional sustenance during your noble and very draining caretaking of your beloved wife.

[OneMoreFarang]

8 minutes ago, habuspasha said:

In case you really mean this as positive, I should say that I have been with my wife for over 40 years so there is no way I would leave her or put her in a home.  The GF is just very different.  I love them both, in different ways.  The GF was born after I met my wife.

Yes, I certainly mean this as positive.

Like you said, in theory you could have left your wife in bad times. You didn't and you cared about her. Good.

And at the same time you obviously realized that your life is not only about taking care of your wife but also about your life and wellbeing. I am sure those holidays gave you strength.

I am pretty sure lots of people, I guess especially in America, would condemn what you did because that is not what good guys do - according to the bible.

Some of us realized that loving a wife and playing with a girlfriend are completely different. The only problem is that most wives are not ready to understand this concept, so we better don't tell them.

[GinBoy2]

31 minutes ago, LaosLover said:

My 59 year old white American wife is constantly chatted up by western men, often with Thai partners at their side.

 

They don't want to have sex with her -they'd rather die.

 

They want to talk an educated female about something beyond "Somtum is good". She's 100% in on the joke that she's the ham sandwich that got brought to the Thailand picnic. She's non-judgmental and fascinated by the GF dynamic over here.

 

I'm thinking of setting her up with an Only Fans account. No nudity, but she will talk to saddo's trapped in Issan about Trump, Brexit, and old movies and music. Call it 50 baht a minute for her time.

I like the idea of an Only Fans account for the saddos with a 20 something GF with the brain and language skills of a fruit fly.

 

My wife has often laughed about this.

 

Now Mrs G ain't no spring chicken, she's in her 50's, but raised and educated in Chicago as a teenager, before she moved back to Asia.

 

She acts and sounds like a Midwest gal.

 

I've seen guys eyes light up when we've met them and suddenly they realize they can actually have an adult conversation with her, as opposed to the scantily clad maiden of Isaan they are sat with!

[LaosLover]

Good looks, brains, and empathy.

 

Generally speaking in romance-land, pick 2.

[LaosLover]

30 minutes ago, GinBoy2 said:

I've seen guys eyes light up when we've met them and suddenly they realize they can actually have an adult conversation with her, as opposed to the scantily clad maiden of Isaan they are sat with!

This board would a useful antidote to people stuck in the mono-image of a fat German (why always German? Why always fat?) with an abused and innocent waif abducted from a rice paddy. 

 

But people have a vested interest in projecting their OWN relationship dysfunctions on to conveniently made up stereotypes.

[Elkski]

Sorry I must be an  oddball as I have zero to -1000 interest in talking about Brexit or trump with any woman. 

[Hummin]

2 minutes ago, Elkski said:

Sorry I must beban  oddball as I have zero to -1000 interest in talking about Brexit or trump with any woman. 

I can assure you, for most men coming to asia, beer and food is enough, and hopefully 0-3 times a week or month.

[LaosLover]

3 minutes ago, Elkski said:

Sorry I must be an  oddball as I have zero to -1000 interest in talking about Brexit or trump with any woman. 

You sound very emotionally balanced. What are you doing here?

 

Me neither, by the way. But then again, I have it on tap.

[OneMoreFarang]

26 minutes ago, GinBoy2 said:

She acts and sounds like a Midwest gal.

Is that supposed to be good?

[OneMoreFarang]

It seems some people here behave like their gf is the only person they interact with. Really?

I am happy to have intelligent conversations about technology, politics and other subject with people.

But I am also happy not to have those conversations with my Thai girlfriend. In fact I don't want to talk with her about politics and other subjects.

There are so many people out there. We don't have to do everything with just one person.

[GinBoy2]

6 minutes ago, Elkski said:

Sorry I must be an  oddball as I have zero to -1000 interest in talking about Brexit or trump with any woman. 

So what do you talk about?

 

So we're talking about GF's/Partners, not bar girl hookups. How often can you talk about sex?

 

Food? Well the most educated Thai can talk endlessly about that, as well as posting endless pictures of food. I work with a young Filipino guy who asked me if my wife posted pictures of food? I told him, don't be dumb, you're asian you already know the answer to that!

 

If you're a similar age, you probably talk about the same TV shows, movies, music.

 

Yeah politics can figure, me and Mrs G can have some serious disagreements there, but we kiss and make up.

 

So yeah, I like having a woman my equal who can give as good as she gets, with a bunch in common

[GinBoy2]

10 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

Is that supposed to be good?

YES, for me at least

[OneMoreFarang]

25 minutes ago, GinBoy2 said:

Yeah politics can figure, me and Mrs G can have some serious disagreements there, but we kiss and make up.

No talk about politics - no serious disagreements. Problem solved.

[GinBoy2]

4 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

No talk about politics - no serious disagreements. Problem solved.

Well here am I a bleeding heart Liberal, and she likes Tucker Carlson! 

 

Got the picture?

[Hummin]

49 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

It seems some people here behave like their gf is the only person they interact with. Really?

I am happy to have intelligent conversations about technology, politics and other subject with people.

But I am also happy not to have those conversations with my Thai girlfriend. In fact I don't want to talk with her about politics and other subjects.

There are so many people out there. We don't have to do everything with just one person.

What you cant have, is often what you miss most, and thats why people of both gender searches for substitutes. You often mention you like to go to bars and chat up young ladies? Right? 

[LaosLover]

18 minutes ago, GinBoy2 said:

 she likes Tucker Carlson! 

 

Got the picture?

In that case, I'd be the one keeping the conversation along the lines of Somtum is good.