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Farangs Who 'go Native'.......


Luckydog

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As mentioned before it is likely his GF is telling him what he wants to hear (and even then he is depending on her sister to translate what she is saying).

No offense to the OP. But can someone point me out anything funnier than this today? :o

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From my experience, it is not about how you "wai", not about how well you speak thai, not about how wrongly you have tried to act like a thai. Most thais(in fact anyone from anywhere) are going to judge you by what you have in your mind. They can tell if you as a farang are really enjoying their culture or are just simply pretending to do so and in some cases actually looking down on them.

I would say it is not easy for most farangs after being brought up in the west to adapt to the thai way. But I would say if you respect others, you will be respected.

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Asked my wife's opinion and she said of course they are laughing at him. He is making a fool of himself so why wouldn't they laugh? Locals don't act like a caricature or cartoon character and when a farang does he is not being local or native, just silly.

Huh, so learning to speak Thai, enjoying Thai food and given the occasional wai is acting like a cariciture?

I don't follow your logic.

If you speak appropriate Thai and only wai according to Thai custom and eat whatever your wife is capable of providing for you, then that is all good. The problem comes when guys get it all wrong, in an over-eager attempt to try and be Thai. If you do something well it is not a caricature but if you do it badly and in an exaggerated way it is indeed a caricature.

I suspect this is the reason for the laughter. If he wais everybody it becomes a bit of a joke, doesn't it? And then, you can't really say he's gone native because he clearly doesn't understand local customs.

I wai (and yes, I do understand it fairly well) , I eat Thai food, I can speak the local dialect, I go to weddings, funerals, ordinations and house openings. I even attend the occasional merit making ceremonies at the local Wat (depends on who its for). I dress appropriately for my sex and station. Does this put me in the "going native" category? I don't think so, I still wear western clothes, am still opinionated, (can't cure that :o ), still me.

I don't believe my neighbors laugh at me, in fact, most appreciate the effort made to fit in. I regularly get praised by people at how well I dress, how well I speak local Thai and often have neighbors stick up for me at events when some non-local person goes on and on about it. "Oh, she can eat Thai food" one Bangkok woman said, local guy said, "She's been here a long time, she can cook it too, what do you expect?"

So, no, I see nothing wrong with respecting local customs and culture, but I also see no need to lose yourself and your own values in trying to assimilate.

I do draw the line at speaking their very crude upcountry dialect. Central Thai sounds good to me but farmer talk is just a bit too hillbilly for me. Yeah I know that sounds arrogant but speaking the language properly should apply to the locals as well as the foreigner.

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Your choice villagefarang. I chose to speak the local dialect because I wanted to not only be understood but understand what is being said around me. I certainly don't criticize those who can't understand the locals, nor do I tar people who speak a dialect a hillbilly. Bit elitist for my tastes, personally, but to each their own.

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Asked my wife's opinion and she said of course they are laughing at him. He is making a fool of himself so why wouldn't they laugh? Locals don't act like a caricature or cartoon character and when a farang does he is not being local or native, just silly.

Huh, so learning to speak Thai, enjoying Thai food and given the occasional wai is acting like a cariciture?

I don't follow your logic.

If you speak appropriate Thai and only wai according to Thai custom and eat whatever your wife is capable of providing for you, then that is all good. The problem comes when guys get it all wrong, in an over-eager attempt to try and be Thai. If you do something well it is not a caricature but if you do it badly and in an exaggerated way it is indeed a caricature.

I suspect this is the reason for the laughter. If he wais everybody it becomes a bit of a joke, doesn't it? And then, you can't really say he's gone native because he clearly doesn't understand local customs.

I wai (and yes, I do understand it fairly well) , I eat Thai food, I can speak the local dialect, I go to weddings, funerals, ordinations and house openings. I even attend the occasional merit making ceremonies at the local Wat (depends on who its for). I dress appropriately for my sex and station. Does this put me in the "going native" category? I don't think so, I still wear western clothes, am still opinionated, (can't cure that :D ), still me.

I don't believe my neighbors laugh at me, in fact, most appreciate the effort made to fit in. I regularly get praised by people at how well I dress, how well I speak local Thai and often have neighbors stick up for me at events when some non-local person goes on and on about it. "Oh, she can eat Thai food" one Bangkok woman said, local guy said, "She's been here a long time, she can cook it too, what do you expect?"

So, no, I see nothing wrong with respecting local customs and culture, but I also see no need to lose yourself and your own values in trying to assimilate.

I do draw the line at speaking their very crude upcountry dialect. Central Thai sounds good to me but farmer talk is just a bit too hillbilly for me. Yeah I know that sounds arrogant but speaking the language properly should apply to the locals as well as the foreigner.

Yes it does!

So all of the UK should be speaking Queen's English? **expletive removed*** arrogance! :o

Edited by sbk
expletive removed
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Asked my wife's opinion and she said of course they are laughing at him. He is making a fool of himself so why wouldn't they laugh? Locals don't act like a caricature or cartoon character and when a farang does he is not being local or native, just silly.

Huh, so learning to speak Thai, enjoying Thai food and given the occasional wai is acting like a cariciture?

I don't follow your logic.

If you speak appropriate Thai and only wai according to Thai custom and eat whatever your wife is capable of providing for you, then that is all good. The problem comes when guys get it all wrong, in an over-eager attempt to try and be Thai. If you do something well it is not a caricature but if you do it badly and in an exaggerated way it is indeed a caricature.

I suspect this is the reason for the laughter. If he wais everybody it becomes a bit of a joke, doesn't it? And then, you can't really say he's gone native because he clearly doesn't understand local customs.

I wai (and yes, I do understand it fairly well) , I eat Thai food, I can speak the local dialect, I go to weddings, funerals, ordinations and house openings. I even attend the occasional merit making ceremonies at the local Wat (depends on who its for). I dress appropriately for my sex and station. Does this put me in the "going native" category? I don't think so, I still wear western clothes, am still opinionated, (can't cure that :D ), still me.

I don't believe my neighbors laugh at me, in fact, most appreciate the effort made to fit in. I regularly get praised by people at how well I dress, how well I speak local Thai and often have neighbors stick up for me at events when some non-local person goes on and on about it. "Oh, she can eat Thai food" one Bangkok woman said, local guy said, "She's been here a long time, she can cook it too, what do you expect?"

So, no, I see nothing wrong with respecting local customs and culture, but I also see no need to lose yourself and your own values in trying to assimilate.

I do draw the line at speaking their very crude upcountry dialect. Central Thai sounds good to me but farmer talk is just a bit too hillbilly for me. Yeah I know that sounds arrogant but speaking the language properly should apply to the locals as well as the foreigner.

Yes it does!

So all of the UK should be speaking Queen's English? **expletive removed*** arrogance! :o

I do understand that bad grammar and pronunciation are worn as a badge of honor these days and in many cases is necessary to fit in with certain groups. I just meant to say that I would rather speak correct Thai than a very limited regional dialect. Besides most of the time I understand them, just don't want to start speaking like them. Seems like a step backwards to me.

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Your choice, but I don't really think you have any right to stand in judgment of (or insult) others who don't agree with your thinking. :o

Right, but this is OK in your book. "Unfxxkinbelievable arrogance!"

To use foul language to insult me. I was just being colorful and descriptive in my prose not using curse words.

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I am not going to go into a grammar discussion here with you, but I believe the swearing was meant as an exclamation, rather than actually calling you a name. He did call you arrogant, which you may take exception to, but it isn't necessarily foul. Whereas calling people hillbillies, is, in my opinion, insulting. But, I'll remove it anyway.

Anyway, enough hijacking of this topic, I think alot of the people who look down on those who "go native" do so in an attempt to make themselves feel superior. Perhaps because they look down on Thai people, or their neighbors. Who knows. But, again, as I have already stated, I see nothing wrong with adapting to local customs as long as one keeps one's own sense of self and values.

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Your choice, but I don't really think you have any right to stand in judgment of (or insult) others who don't agree with your thinking. :o

Right, but this is OK in your book. "Unfxxkinbelievable arrogance!"

To use foul language to insult me. I was just being colorful and descriptive in my prose not using curse words.

Ok sorry. :D I swear a lot to my friends and love ones too. It is not to insult people. You can swear back at me if you like.

But....I know. :D

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I am not going to go into a grammar discussion here with you, but I believe the swearing was meant as an exclamation, rather than actually calling you a name. He did call you arrogant, which you may take exception to, but it isn't necessarily foul. Whereas calling people hillbillies, is, in my opinion, insulting. But, I'll remove it anyway.

Anyway, enough hijacking of this topic, I think alot of the people who look down on those who "go native" do so in an attempt to make themselves feel superior. Perhaps because they look down on Thai people, or their neighbors. Who knows. But, again, as I have already stated, I see nothing wrong with adapting to local customs as long as one keeps one's own sense of self and values.

OK I'll take back the word hillbilly and replace it with uneducated and illiterate which is simply accurate and factual in the case of some of the people I am referring to in the village. The word was only meant to be descriptive and bring to mind an image. I'll also own up to being arrogant in thinking that if I can speak proper Thai that Thais should be able to as well.

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How do you know the guy the OP is talking about is getting it wrong?

We only have the view of the OP and his GF to go by.

The OP obviously has an axe to grind, doesn't want to learn Thai, and I doubt he knows a correct wai from an incorrect one.

As mentioned before it is likely his GF is telling him what he wants to hear (and even then he is depending on her sister to translate what she is saying).

How do you know he isn't getting it wrong?

How do you know the OP has an axe to grind?

How do you know the GF's motives?

Not sure why you are reading so much into all this and why you are so defensive and negative. Could it be that it touches too close to home?

Erm.. the OP visits a village and hears from his GF (via her sister) that everyone laughs at the local Farang because he speaks Thai, eats Thai food, and likes to Wai. I quetion his motives for slagging off this person and query his GF's reliability. You accuse me of being defensive & negative???

You accuse Thai people who live outside of BKK of speaking 'hillbilly' Thai. Hmmm... Have a nice day

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I am not going to go into a grammar discussion here with you, but I believe the swearing was meant as an exclamation, rather than actually calling you a name. He did call you arrogant, which you may take exception to, but it isn't necessarily foul. Whereas calling people hillbillies, is, in my opinion, insulting. But, I'll remove it anyway.

Anyway, enough hijacking of this topic, I think alot of the people who look down on those who "go native" do so in an attempt to make themselves feel superior. Perhaps because they look down on Thai people, or their neighbors. Who knows. But, again, as I have already stated, I see nothing wrong with adapting to local customs as long as one keeps one's own sense of self and values.

OK I'll take back the word hillbilly and replace it with uneducated and illiterate which is simply accurate and factual in the case of some of the people I am referring to in the village. The word was only meant to be descriptive and bring to mind an image. I'll also own up to being arrogant in thinking that if I can speak proper Thai that Thais should be able to as well.

The villagers where you live must love you. :o

I don't know any illiterate people where I live. Unless, of course, you count the guy with Downs syndrome who lives in town. Even my husband's grandfather who was born in 1900 or so (he died in 1993) was literate. Pity you have such contempt for people who are your neighbors.

Regardless, speaking dialect isn't really the issue here, but rather people who choose to live like a local and those who stand in judgment of them.

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I love the way things get blown out of all proportion on these threads.

I suspect that I would hardly notice the poor guy in question among the many fruitloops in LOS.

He may be just a modest type who uses this guise in a vain attempt not to stand out.

The subject has however underlined what I've always noted over there - the contempt many farangs have for each other.

Being accepted by the Thais is the least of our problems there.

As for being ridiculed by Thais, this has rarely happened to me and the culprits were mostly a minority of stupid, ignorant boys and girls who have grown up assuming that all farangs are dumb.

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I'm sorry if it is contemptuous to be "native" enough to know that some of my neighbors can't read or write, to know when they mispronounce or get things wrong. I'm happy for you that you live in such a progressive area. Just because I am aware of someone's situation in life doesn't mean that I would walk up to someone who has had a hard life and call him names but I wouldn't try to emulate him either.

I find it fascinating that in all this discussion of "going native" there seems to be one predominant view of "native". In such a highly class structured society as Thailand one needs to clarify which level of Thai society one is attempting to assimilate into. Do we admire the Thai who speaks English with an "F" word every other word simply because the Farangs that they have met talk that way? If we have assimilated into polite Thai society and adopted their style of speech and manor are we somehow less "native" than the guy who tries too hard and does a bad job of emulating what Thais might refer to as the lowest on their social ladder?

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You think too much IMO, VF.

Why not just live and let live.

Try it, it works.

I never done a wai in my life, don't usually speak Thai, although I understand a lot, dress and act as a westerner and I don't bother my head wrestling with problems of class or assimilation.

I like a quiet life and that's what I get in LOS.

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I visited an old friend up country where he lives in a little village with his Wife, her Kids and extended Family the other day, and frankly I was shocked!

He has gone completely Native......Dressing Thai, speaking Thai, eating Thai, waiing all over the place etc.

I asked my GF what the locals think of him. She told me that they laughed behind his back.

Now ain't that sad? There he is integrating himself to death, and they think it's funny.

And this got me thinking. At a time when Thailand is becoming more and more Westernized, what possible reason is there for us Farangs to go the other way?

By all means respect Thai customs, Religion etc, but keep your own for Gawd's sake!

I know, I know most of you do. But there are plenty of peeps who are losing their identity.

And I think it's a shame. Agreed?

Looking back at the OP's original post it sounds to me like a friend who is concerned about "an old friend". He has obviously known this guy for a long time and sees his "changes" from the perspective of someone who can see how much he has changed and is concerned about the health and welfare and reputation of his friend. He asks legitimate questions as to what is going on and offers his own opinion. Seems to me like we have all gotten way off the point.

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I love the way things get blown out of all proportion on these threads.

I suspect that I would hardly notice the poor guy in question among the many fruitloops in LOS.

He may be just a modest type who uses this guise in a vain attempt not to stand out.

The subject has however underlined what I've always noted over there - the contempt many farangs have for each other.

Being accepted by the Thais is the least of our problems there.

As for being ridiculed by Thais, this has rarely happened to me and the culprits were mostly a minority of stupid, ignorant boys and girls who have grown up assuming that all farangs are dumb.

Just hope the fruit-loops don't take offense. I got in trouble for the use of hillbilly.

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I'm sorry if it is contemptuous to be "native" enough to know that some of my neighbors can't read or write, to know when they mispronounce or get things wrong.

I am very surprised that some of your neighbours can't read or write. I have worked in schools in city and village for a few years now and have always been impressed by the high literacy rate. In the village where I live now I have taught in two local schools and the literacy must me nearly 100%. Not only that but even those in Pratum 1 can also read a foreign alphabet and count to 10 in a foreign language. Hard to find the same in the west. Are you sure you know what you are talking about?

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I'm sorry if it is contemptuous to be "native" enough to know that some of my neighbors can't read or write, to know when they mispronounce or get things wrong.

I am very surprised that some of your neighbours can't read or write. I have worked in schools in city and village for a few years now and have always been impressed by the high literacy rate. In the village where I live now I have taught in two local schools and the literacy must me nearly 100%. Not only that but even those in Pratum 1 can also read a foreign alphabet and count to 10 in a foreign language. Hard to find the same in the west. Are you sure you know what you are talking about?

OK the number is not large. Just a few of the old-timers and my wife's mother (my age). Most have made an effort to go to night classes locally to at least do the bare minimum like, sign and read their names and read the numbers on their cellphones. They even gave the ML trouble about not sticking with it or making more of an effort. I guess it was all too hard for her. It was hardest on the niece living with granny and not being able to get help with her homework. We are trying to correct the damage that has already been done but aren't quite there yet.

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I agree with many of the posters; I don't think there is anything wrong with trying to assimilate into the Thai culture. I am a strong believer that if you want to live here you should at least learn the language; that goes for anyone living in any other country. Many Americans say that if you want to live in America you should learn to speak English, well if you want to live in Thailand... Many people don't learn the language because they mainly associate with other English speakers or if they need to talk to someone outside their circle of friends they have someone help them. It also must be said that it greatly increases your quality of life, this place doesn't really seem all that strange or different once you can speak the language; sure there are some cultural differences but people are generally the same the world over.

As to eating Thai food, I like it so I eat it... But if you don't care for it then don't eat it. Nobody likes everything, so eat what you like; you should enjoy food.

As to clothes, I am a bit of a fashion misfit; so this is definately one area that I don't feel qualified to give advice. The one thing that I will mention is that I have actually begun to dress better since living here. Thais tend to judge people based on their appearance, although foreigners are given quite a bit more latitude. Thais will not treat you as low class even if you dress poorly, but they will definately treat you better if you are dressed nicely.

I can understand why you may be worried about your friend but you need to just let him go and realize that if he is infact going to far and losing himself, he will eventually come back. But he may just be changing and if thats the case then you will either accept the new him or you will find that you no longer have enough in common to stay close friends.

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I'm sorry if it is contemptuous to be "native" enough to know that some of my neighbors can't read or write, to know when they mispronounce or get things wrong.

I am very surprised that some of your neighbours can't read or write. I have worked in schools in city and village for a few years now and have always been impressed by the high literacy rate. In the village where I live now I have taught in two local schools and the literacy must me nearly 100%. Not only that but even those in Pratum 1 can also read a foreign alphabet and count to 10 in a foreign language. Hard to find the same in the west. Are you sure you know what you are talking about?

OK the number is not large. Just a few of the old-timers and my wife's mother (my age). Most have made an effort to go to night classes locally to at least do the bare minimum like, sign and read their names and read the numbers on their cellphones. They even gave the ML trouble about not sticking with it or making more of an effort. I guess it was all too hard for her. It was hardest on the niece living with granny and not being able to get help with her homework. We are trying to correct the damage that has already been done but aren't quite there yet.

Now I feel bad that I got intimidated and backed away from what I knew to be true. On the off chance that I could be mistaken, I talked to my wife about her mother. I asked if her situation was unusual for her age group and she said no, not at all, it is pretty normal. Most post offices, banks and government offices around here are set up for people like her mother to use their fingerprints, since they can't sign their names or read or write. So let me reiterate here that yes I do know what I am talking about.

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Hi,

Having travelled to thailand for 15 or so years and been married to a thai lady for several years I have to say the more I read/listen to what other visitors( call them expats if you wish but visitors is what we all are) think is Thailand the more convinced I become most of them have a very tunnel vision view to Thais and THailand in general.

Going native is neither good or bad, just a choice of life style, localsmay laugh at him,but are they laughing from malice or humour?

A bit of both I suspect is the truth.

I note on this thread racisim has been raised, in my opinion racism is uite often confused with natural suspicion of something different with perhaps a smattering of envy thrown in for good measure.

The world is getting smaller every day, the racist card is often used when there is no other way of saving face or winning an argument/ or scoring points, ofcourse racism exists, and it will continue to do so no matter what ever is done to regulate it. Thats not to say we should stop trying to be a bit more tolerant but the sooner people appreciate we all have our own slant on life the better it will be for all concerned.

Personally I do not think that any of the postings on this topic were racist, and by rasing the subject of racism what has been achieved? Nothing but bad feelings.

Thai people are not exactly imune from racism either, issan people are often thought by Bankok Thais as

less socially acceptable and as for Burmese/ Cambodians workers etc in THailand they fall very low in the pecking order.

What is meant by going native in thailand anyway?

To me it means blending in with the local residents and thier way of life, blending in with the high so set in Bankok is as much going native as is sharing the same way of living as a thai in a poor village admittedly on a grander and much more pleasant scale but you are blending in with your neighbours.

Whatever way of life you choose to live is entirely a matter of choice of the indevidual, who are we to say what is the right way? Why are people suprised or offened when they learn that some thais laugh at or even worse dispise farangs?

Nationalism isvery strong in Thailand and that is not necessarily a good or a bad thing, just a simple fact of life.

Education and background is what determines most thais out look, pretty much the same as us europeans dont you think?

By all means try to intergrate as best you can but dont expect to be thanked for it, as the laws in Thailand are so unsuportive of intergration then farangs should recognise that fact, farangs are at best tolerated guests in the eyes of many of those in authority in Thailand and I see no change in that attitude in the near future.

I have met many many fine thai people over the years , and equally I have met many who are not so fine

just like us really, full intergration is not a realistic option in thailand at this time in my opinion

and unlikely to be so any time soon, so please dont be so quick to raise the racism card at every opportunity, we are all the same reallly and religion, politics, race football and the like will continue to devide people all the time we allow it to affect our way of thinking.

Going native is what we all do one way or another.

roy

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I'm sorry if it is contemptuous to be "native" enough to know that some of my neighbors can't read or write, to know when they mispronounce or get things wrong.

I am very surprised that some of your neighbours can't read or write. I have worked in schools in city and village for a few years now and have always been impressed by the high literacy rate. In the village where I live now I have taught in two local schools and the literacy must me nearly 100%. Not only that but even those in Pratum 1 can also read a foreign alphabet and count to 10 in a foreign language. Hard to find the same in the west. Are you sure you know what you are talking about?

OK the number is not large. Just a few of the old-timers and my wife's mother (my age). Most have made an effort to go to night classes locally to at least do the bare minimum like, sign and read their names and read the numbers on their cellphones. They even gave the ML trouble about not sticking with it or making more of an effort. I guess it was all too hard for her. It was hardest on the niece living with granny and not being able to get help with her homework. We are trying to correct the damage that has already been done but aren't quite there yet.

Now I feel bad that I got intimidated and backed away from what I knew to be true. On the off chance that I could be mistaken, I talked to my wife about her mother. I asked if her situation was unusual for her age group and she said no, not at all, it is pretty normal. Most post offices, banks and government offices around here are set up for people like her mother to use their fingerprints, since they can't sign their names or read or write. So let me reiterate here that yes I do know what I am talking about.

Ok, so you can go back to thinking your neighbours are hillbillies who can't speak their own language. Well I can only speak from my experience (note I say my experience and not my wife/gf said) and I have not observed the low literacy rates you claim. I feel no shame in speaking the local dialect and would not be arrogant enough to claim that they mispronounce things. Thet are speaking their dialect 100% correctly.

Edited by garro
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I visited an old friend up country where he lives in a little village with his Wife, her Kids and extended Family the other day, and frankly I was shocked!

He has gone completely Native......Dressing Thai, speaking Thai, eating Thai, waiing all over the place etc.

I asked my GF what the locals think of him. She told me that they laughed behind his back.

Now ain't that sad? There he is integrating himself to death, and they think it's funny.

And this got me thinking. At a time when Thailand is becoming more and more Westernized, what possible reason is there for us Farangs to go the other way?

By all means respect Thai customs, Religion etc, but keep your own for Gawd's sake!

I know, I know most of you do. But there are plenty of peeps who are losing their identity.

And I think it's a shame. Agreed?

i pose the question,

is it better to be like this guy and go native, or is it better to be a bar hoping drunk, hormonger at a sea side resort.?

ill answer that one so none of you guys get confused. :o

i'll go with the guy going native. :D

thank you very much. :D

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I visited an old friend up country where he lives in a little village with his Wife, her Kids and extended Family the other day, and frankly I was shocked!

He has gone completely Native......Dressing Thai, speaking Thai, eating Thai, waiing all over the place etc.

I asked my GF what the locals think of him. She told me that they laughed behind his back.

Now ain't that sad? There he is integrating himself to death, and they think it's funny.

And this got me thinking. At a time when Thailand is becoming more and more Westernized, what possible reason is there for us Farangs to go the other way?

By all means respect Thai customs, Religion etc, but keep your own for Gawd's sake!

I know, I know most of you do. But there are plenty of peeps who are losing their identity.

And I think it's a shame. Agreed?

i pose the question,

is it better to be like this guy and go native, or is it better to be a bar hoping drunk, hormonger at a sea side resort.?

ill answer that one so none of you guys get confused. :o

i'll go with the guy going native. :D

thank you very much. :D

Thanks for that, gery. I was really confused there for a minute. :D

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Hi,

Having travelled to thailand for 15 or so years and been married to a thai lady for several years I have to say the more I read/listen to what other visitors( call them expats if you wish but visitors is what we all are) think is Thailand the more convinced I become most of them have a very tunnel

It may have escaped your attention but there are quite a few ex-pats who have lived here for a long time and raised families here. There are also many who have citizenship or residency or are in the process of obtaining these. So while the label 'visitor' is quite appropriate for people like yourself who come on holiday it is not for those who live here.

BTW, I personally don't mind what you call me.

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Mixing with Hi So cannot be defined as going native.....

What the OP was on about was the guy living the life of a Thai villager in areas such as Issan or Laos areas. Usually an indication that funds are getting tight...or that the guy has just become so unmotivated from how he used to be.

Going native means exactly that...it doesnt mean....dining out with Thai friends wearing traditional Thai dress, It doesnt mean catching a Taxi cos the Limo got a flat tyre.

It does mean....living on a budget of a few hundred baht a week...eating things you once thought exotic but now is survival. wearing clothes that you once thought represented poverty but now has become comfortable everyday wear.

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