Squatter's Rights?

[bkkmadness]

Eek, do you not have an 'l' on your keyboard?

[eek]

ow you noticed? I thought the new forum text hid it!

Yes that key on my notebook has been missing for some time now. I have an externaI keyboard but if im outside or Iounging about I just reIy on a capitaI 'i'. Im a touch typist, and its just a fIick of the finger to adapt

[samran]

great post NR. Agree with your sentiments about this being primarily a unique place for women to air their views, with some relevant input from men (we do have brains and empathy too, we aren't all just handsome good looking eye candy for you gals you know, to be looked at and not listened to... )

The fact remains though, their are morons everywhere in the world, and even here on TV. And some are going to want to rain on your parade - they can't help themselves. So, just press the report function. We mods are happy to help! 9999 is now my favourite number.

ps. just in case you couldnt tell, what I wrote in brackets was very, very tongue in cheek.....

[November Rain]

Since it often seems to be the same men that cause problems here can't you ladies just use the ignore function? I don't like using that function myself and never do but if it's really concerning you and bringing down this section then it's worth it I would have thought.

That would mean every one of us using ignore on the same people & what about new members who may not know about the ignore function or how to use it? It's the newer gals who are getting picked on more at this time anyway. Although, we've pretty much all had our share. How do we organise that? Put up a pinned notice "Dear Ladies, we are ignoring A, B and C because they write offensive comments. This is how to use your ignore function..."

[bkkmadness]

Just ignore the people you want to ignore and let everyone else take care of their own business. You don't have to all ignore the same people in the same way do you?

Any newbies come to the forum then it's quite easy to clue them in on the ignore function if you see them getting picked on, whether they bother to use it is up to them.

I ignore people when I see there posts, just blank them out, but if you are having difficulty doing that then you have to use the ignore function. There isn't much more of a solution than that is there.

[sbk]

Personally, I don't like the ignore function (and obviously, as a mod, cannot use it) because then it leaves you open to attack without even knowing about the attack. Besides, I think all of us women need to be aware of who the neanderthals are on this forum.

Like I said in another thread, I have never had a farang man be rude to me in Thailand, so its always amazing to me how some think its acceptable behavior on this forum when they wouldn't do it in real life.

[bkkmadness]

Why's it so amazing? A million things are said on the internet that would never be said in real life.

And really SBK you spend 99% of your time on Koh Phangan, I bet if you spent all those years in Pattaya or wherever you'd had some things said to you by now.

They're idiots, gotta ignore them haven't you.

Edited July 6, 2007 by bkkmadness

[bkkmadness]

Since Boo being busy with the baby is an issue because she hasn't got time to mod here as much at the moment, perhaps bringing in another mod specifically for the ladies forum would be an idea? One more set of eyes watching the place isn't it.

Edited July 6, 2007 by bkkmadness

[sbk]

Nope, if I'd been in Pattaya all these years I'd probably be either in jail or completely insane and in the madhouse by now, so probably still wouldn't have heard them

No, but seriously, my point is that I would bet you most of these guys would not say these things in public to a farang woman but get some kind of sick kick by doing so here on the forum where they can remain anonymous instead of being seen publicly for the ill-mannered boors that they really are.

[bkkmadness]

Yes of course they wouldn't. Some guy called me a git on the forum yesterday, I'm pretty sure if he was standing in front of me he wouldn't have said that.

But thats the net for you, what to do, ignore ignore ignore.

Edited July 6, 2007 by bkkmadness

[November Rain]

Yes of course they wouldn't.Some guy called me a git on the forum yesterday, I'm pretty sure if he was standing in front of me he wouldn't have said that. Even Wolfie wouldn't be so stroppy in real life.

But thats the net for you, what to do, ignore ignore ignore.

That's nothing - I was accused of serious criminal activity, recently. But that was on general, to be fair, not in ladies.

[sbk]

Anyway, NR's point is that this is the Ladies forum and we shouldn't have to ignore these people. Why they can't manage to control their inner urges and avoid the forum if they can't follow the rules I don't understand.

[sbk]

Anyway, let me repeat the rules of the Ladies forum for those who haven't yet read them. And be aware that the rules will be enforced. I am through being lenient. Pardon my laxity, ladies. I guess I liked to believe that this forum could be run without having to get tough, but apparently not.

Dear All

This section of ThaiVisa.com is dedicated to women living in/travelling to or interested in Thailand.

All posters male or female are welcome to post here but this section is predominately for women.

Please keep topics on track & posts relevant to the subject.

This is not a place for male posters to express their views on western or thai women & are asked to contribute to a topics relevance only.

As such I ask that you do not abuse/flame or troll here. That includes making derogatory comments towards women or men or abusing posters.

Please read the forum rules posted below & bear them in mind before posting.

Anyone breaking the above rules will receive a suspension.

http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/index.php?act=boardrules

Please also note that this isn't a dating site & any requests or URL's to external sites will be removed.

If you see anything here that you would like to discuss or complain about please private mail me, if you are receiving abusive mails from other members please contact either myself or one of the other mods or admin or use the "report this post" function.

Regards

Boo

Supermoderator of ThaiVisa.com

[astral]

bkkmadness is on a 7 day holiday.

Anyone else??

Astral

[Grover]

I've seen a lot of instances of flaming here and there, in the ladies forum and elsewhere.

But the most vicious flaming attack (by a long shot) I have seen made to another lady of this forum was made by....

another so called lady!

extremely disappointing for me, and needless to say she went from hero to zero.

[MiG16]

sorry girls and ladies..Ive not been around in our section much lately.

if u recall I made a somewhat similar question a few months back...albeit under different circumstances of course....it wasnt as a result of any directed abuse...but more of having the comfort of what someone referred to as the slumber party

now I think back to the answers / comments that were discussed then, and I look at whats been said here.....and even though in this particular instance we are talking about offensive behaviour and how to avoid/prevent that.....I feel we are still at the very same status-quo. I dont have a solution either, but I just want to add that I do understand that especially being foreign here, and with some of you living quite remote from other farang ladies, having the forum would be and is such a handy little substitute.

NR...and others who have felt being the subject of offensive remark.......I dont tell you this to say hey its happened to me too...well thats basically what Im gonna say...but thats not the essence of it......

in the beginning when I started to post a lot (rather than just read for some info)....often I found comments that were in general derogatory towards thai women....initially I reacted...not much...but every now and then...there was a point when some might have even said/hinted that the only reason a thai person would join this forum is cos I want to find some rich farang man from here.... was furious at first..but then I thought to myself......they are just bitter.

to the ones that use offensive and are derogatory remarks.....being the women's rights advocate that I am......just couldnt resist trying to reason with them....presenting facts, being polite and such....what I observed was....under those circumstances they totally ignore my posts with the voice of reason...but will continue to carry on their ramblings of rude remarks with other fellow jerks its as if I had never posted at all the invisible remark....

anyhow thats when I realised that its useless paying any attention to them.....I may read it....think about it for a few seconds....in some instance might even think about replying....then unless Im really bored and have too much time to kill....I just think..nah they aint worth my time

sure every now and then i may still say something trying to be wise and such....but i either dont bother going back to see their response....or if its a thread I have to go back to..then I skip right pass what they have to say

(check out the Mobi and old gentleman thread for what Im talking about)

sorry about ranting on...but I guess I want to say....we ladies are already known to be good at selective attention and screening...we just have to make use of that to our advantage

and remember what we said.....in some cases the very personal questions..we may have to resort to a few mass PM.

my best to each one of you

MiGgy

[endure]

Since it often seems to be the same men that cause problems here can't you ladies just use the ignore function? I don't like using that function myself and never do but if it's really concerning you and bringing down this section then it's worth it I would have thought.

No, that's completely arse about face. Why should the majority be obliged to ignore an ignorant minority? If the minority can't behave they ought to be booted.

[November Rain]

sorry about ranting on...but I guess I want to say....we ladies are already known to be good at selective attention and screening...we just have to make use of that to our advantage

You're right in what you say, MiG, and I think we all do, to some extent, operate like this (even handbag-swingers like me ). We either counter with humour, or ignore many, many comments. I remember reading one typically sexist comment once, wondering whether to bite or not, & deciding it wasn't worth the effort. Next time I visited that topic, a male member had highlighted that post and put a post of his own asking Jet or I if we were going to let this original guy get away with a comment like that!

My point all the way through this is & has been Why should we have to, on here?. We have the rest of the forum in which to selectively ignore misogynistic comments, why should we have to do it in here, too?

Endure has just hit the nail on the head, as far as I'm concerned. Why should the majority have to change for the minority when that minority are being offensive & displaying rude & disrespectful behaviour?

[sutnyod]

My point all the way through this is & has been Why should we have to, on here?. We have the rest of the forum in which to selectively ignore misogynistic comments, why should we have to do it in here, too?

NR, I think this is an illusion. In fact, some threads in the general forum almost made me throw up. Where to find an Isaan woman? Are white women more attractive than locals? How many percent Chinese mix is desirable? Gosh, I could not believe my eyes. Are women a commodity? Are we a herd of stupid cows that are just waiting to be rescued by a .... man with a huuuuuuge pension (for Thailand, that is). Is Thailand a just a big shop where women are for sale? (and as cheap as possible please) Isn't it necessary for a man to have certain qualities (personal qualities) that make him attractive to a woman? Nobody seems to think like that here. The whole forum seems to be dominated by a certain type. I spend less and less time here. I, too, had thought the Ladies' forum is a reprieve from all of that, but then, why should it?

[LaReina]

If truth be toId we ladies have pIenty back-bite ammunition ourseIves, more-so in fact, if you take a look at the average farang man in Thailand, but I suppose like any seIf-respecting person, most of us dont feeI the need to degrade another person in order to gain ..weII whatever it those men gain from it (for i reaIIy dont know).

This is exactly how I feel. We in general tend to rise above it all. (as to other male posters as well).

[alaina]

There have been guys that come onto this forum to make inflammatory comments about foreign women just because it's the ladies forum. There are far more of these comments elsewhere on TV, but they do not get the same response elsewhere as they get here. Most of the posts in other forums are passing comments and they are often ignored by female posters. I don't really understand the guys that spend their time hating foreign women when we are so easy to avoid in Thailand, after all we are only about 10% of the expat population here. (If you are having fun here, continue doing that and just live and let live, really.)

I think those posters that come here want to be flamed back and to see that they have upset other posters. The best response may be none at all and just report the post. If these guys only response is to be ignored and possibly banned perhaps the appeal of posting those comments here will be less. In other words, DNFTT.

Another teaching in Thailand forum is much worse for women and they started a women's forum that only male moderators and female posters can post in, or even see. I don't think that is the answer here but it's not just TV that has had this problem.

[sbk]

I think those posters that come here want to be flamed back and to see that they have upset other posters. The best response may be none at all and just report the post. If these guys only response is to be ignored and possibly banned perhaps the appeal of posting those comments here will be less. In other words, DNFTT.

I believe you have hit the nail on the head alaina.

And isn't it amazing how suddenly quiet the Ladies forum has become since this thread was started

[rollergirl]

bkkmadness is on a 7 day holiday.

Anyone else??

Astral

When you say holiday do you mean he is suspended for a week? seems a bit harsh.

[dantilley]

When you say holiday do you mean he is suspended for a week? seems a bit harsh.

Yeah, was thinking the same thing myself. Must have been from other posts in other areas of the site, but then can't really see the relevancy of mentioning it here though... It's a shame, anyway, as he was making some good contributions on the subject.

Edited July 7, 2007 by dantilley

[eek]

Tbh i was wondering that also and went back to look at the previous posts.

Could it be maybe he posted something which was removed?

[November Rain]

No, nothing's been removed, AFAIK. I think it's because of the altercation with a couple of the mods, earlier in the topic, but I can't be sure, as he did continue posting for a couple more posts after that.

Edit - I think any specific questions about it should be addressed to a mod, via pm, though

Edited July 7, 2007 by November Rain

[dantilley]

No, nothing's been removed, AFAIK. I think it's because of the altercation with a couple of the mods, earlier in the topic, but I can't be sure, as he did continue posting for a couple more posts after that.

Weird, I thought he was only joking around back there. Perhaps not...

[cathyy]

Back to the topic at hand...

I spend far less time on the forum than I once did. It's not that I need contact with English-speaking females any less; in fact I need it more. The reason is that this simply isn't a ladies forum anymore. It has become dominated by men, be they the "good guys" or the "not so good guys." I'm not opposed to male input from time to time, nor men asking us something in here either. I am opposed to the majority of the posts in the so-called ladies forum being made by men.

Yes, a zero-tolerance policy is not only needed but needs to be enforced. If the speed limit if 60, but they don't give tickets until you go 70, how fast will the drivers go? 69.5, that's how fast. The rules will be pushed to see if you mean 60 like you said or 70 because you've let it go before. No criticism of the mods meant here! Being the Bad Guy Rule Enforcer all the time is tiring and takes the fun out of being at the forum. It's a Job then, and a darned unpleasant one at that.

I do hope we can recover this forum for the women.

[endure]

Back to the topic at hand...

I spend far less time on the forum than I once did. It's not that I need contact with English-speaking females any less; in fact I need it more. The reason is that this simply isn't a ladies forum anymore. It has become dominated by men, be they the "good guys" or the "not so good guys." I'm not opposed to male input from time to time, nor men asking us something in here either. I am opposed to the majority of the posts in the so-called ladies forum being made by men.

Yes, a zero-tolerance policy is not only needed but needs to be enforced. If the speed limit if 60, but they don't give tickets until you go 70, how fast will the drivers go? 69.5, that's how fast. The rules will be pushed to see if you mean 60 like you said or 70 because you've let it go before. No criticism of the mods meant here! Being the Bad Guy Rule Enforcer all the time is tiring and takes the fun out of being at the forum. It's a Job then, and a darned unpleasant one at that.

I do hope we can recover this forum for the women.

I would like to personally thank you for that remark and I suspect the other mods would too. You've hit the nail on the head.

[sbk]

off topic nonsense has been deleted. If you dont' have anything positive to contribute then don't contribute at all. Another such post will result in a warning.