Thai Girl Checklist...

[villagefarang]

This is for the single guys who are still looking. For us married guys I just hope everybody is happy with what they got. This is just a beginning list and not all-inclusive. Of course it helps if "both of you" love each other too.

1. Social class

2. Educational background

3. Language ability (both Thai and foreign)

4. Family size

5. Family source of income and financial status

6. Which region are they from originally (appearance)

7. Age (range)

8. Sexual background (virgin, parent, prostitute etc.)

9. Religion

10. Children (yes or no)

11. Food

12. Where to live

This is assuming you are reasonably attractive, have a good job and good manners. If not then you will probably have to be happy with whoever might be willing to put up with you. If you are going to live in a village then much of this does not apply either. If your job requires you to mingle in polite society then your choice of partner can greatly affect your acceptance in social settings.

If you are new you may have a hard time judging these things or just think I have my head "where the sun doesn't shine".

For example: Thais don't just "eat". They have several words for eating depending on social class and educational background. The words can range from what royalty do, on down the social and regional ladder. In polite Thai society you will most likely hear "than" or "rathphrathan" instead of "kin" (transliterations vary greatly). If you have never heard these terms for eating you should ask yourself, why?

One of my top priorities was someone smart enough, for me to want to be around them, but stupid enough to want me. I guess that is why it took my 20 years in Thailand before I found the right one.

[Tippaporn]

Honesty and a good heart would be at the top of my list.

[villagefarang]

Honesty and a good heart would be at the top of my list.

That is romantic and nice but marriage is perhaps the most important contract one will enter into in ones life and needs a little more thought and a little less emotion.

[madjbs]

This is one of the funniest posts I have seen in ages!!

[ratcatcher]

Honesty and a good heart would be at the top of my list.

I totally agree.

Social Class has little to do with whether you will have a good relationship. One only has to spend 5 minutes in front of a TV watching a soap opera showing upper class Thais making fools of themselves to understand social status is no guarantee of happiness.

Educational background ? I know Thais who have been to University and have a very poor understanding of the outside world. Their conversation regarding worldly matters is usually very limited.

IMHO if you like the woman, get along well after several months, assuming you live together, (always road test before you buy), then social status has less to do with it.

Also the farang has to consider whether he can fit in with upper class Thais and whether he will be accepted. It works both ways.

[villagefarang]

This is one of the funniest posts I have seen in ages!!

Happy to oblige.

[meom]

One of my top priorities was someone smart enough, for me to want to be around them, but stupid enough to want me. I guess that is why it took my 20 years in Thailand before I found the right one.

I was looking for a slut in bed which took me about one hour, taking into account the 50 minutes bus ride from airport to downtown

[villagefarang]

Honesty and a good heart would be at the top of my list.

I totally agree.

Social Class has little to do with whether you will have a good relationship. One only has to spend 5 minutes in front of a TV watching a soap opera showing upper class Thais making fools of themselves to understand social status is no guarantee of happiness.

Educational background ? I know Thais who have been to University and have a very poor understanding of the outside world. Their conversation regarding worldly matters is usually very limited.

IMHO if you like the woman, get along well after several months, assuming you live together, (always road test before you buy), then social status has less to do with it.

Also the farang has to consider whether he can fit in with upper class Thais and whether he will be accepted. It works both ways.

You make some good points and of course you are right that it works both ways. It helps if one can make a judgement based on experience instead of bias or watching the TV, however, IMHO.

[Tippaporn]

Honesty and a good heart would be at the top of my list.

That is romantic and nice but marriage is perhaps the most important contract one will enter into in ones life and needs a little more thought and a little less emotion.

The top of my list, villagefarang, not my entire list. If a woman does not possess these qualities I wouldn't even bother checking her out for any other qualities I'd be interested in.

Edited July 13, 2007 by Tippaporn

[larvidchr]

That I love her.

[Tippaporn]

That I love her.

A relationship based on any other factor is, IMHO, doomed to either failure or a life of unhappiness. I think that love for each other is assumed?

[Prakanong]

One of my top priorities was someone smart enough, for me to want to be around them, but stupid enough to want me. I guess that is why it took my 20 years in Thailand before I found the right one.

I was looking for a slut in bed which took me about one hour, taking into account the 50 minutes bus ride from airport to downtown

Should have got a taxi - quicker!!!!!

But 50 minutes isbetter than the OP looking for 20 years I suppose!

[canadiangirl]

One of my top priorities was someone smart enough, for me to want to be around them, but stupid enough to want me. I guess that is why it took my 20 years in Thailand before I found the right one.

I was looking for a slut in bed which took me about one hour, taking into account the 50 minutes bus ride from airport to downtown

HAHAHAHAHA! I was getting really annoyed with this thread and its piece of meat/shopping approach to Thai women, then I read your response and I just had to laugh! Thanks for the comic relief.

[villagefarang]

One of my top priorities was someone smart enough, for me to want to be around them, but stupid enough to want me. I guess that is why it took my 20 years in Thailand before I found the right one.

I was looking for a slut in bed which took me about one hour, taking into account the 50 minutes bus ride from airport to downtown

Should have got a taxi - quicker!!!!!

But 50 minutes isbetter than the OP looking for 20 years I suppose!

I think I probably had more "fun" in those 20 years than the guy on the 50 minute bus ride.

[meom]

You had longer foreplay, I'll give you that.

[villagefarang]

One of my top priorities was someone smart enough, for me to want to be around them, but stupid enough to want me. I guess that is why it took my 20 years in Thailand before I found the right one.

I was looking for a slut in bed which took me about one hour, taking into account the 50 minutes bus ride from airport to downtown

HAHAHAHAHA! I was getting really annoyed with this thread and its piece of meat/shopping approach to Thai women, then I read your response and I just had to laugh! Thanks for the comic relief.

Why do people get so upset when looking beyond the hormones and touchy-feely stuff in a relationship and consider the things that might make or break a relationship? Especially a cross-cultural one. Maybe that is why most marriages end in divorce?

[chemist]

Honesty and a good heart would be at the top of my list.

That is romantic and nice but marriage is perhaps the most important contract one will enter into in ones life and needs a little more thought and a little less emotion.

I understand what you're getting at with your posts on this thread, villagefarang, but your statement above makes the concept of marriage look like some kind of business deal (and for some people that's maybe exactly what it is, a business deal, especially when it comes to the "entertainment girls" in Pattaya et al).

Well, call me a hopeless romantic sucker, but as for my marriage (with a Thai woman) obvious subjects other than "important contract" and "more thought and less emotion" were and are more important to me. That fact of course doesn't exclude putting some common sense into the equation.

Regards

[villagefarang]

A marriage that goes wrong can ruin you emotionally and financially yet there seems to be so little forethought on the part of most. OK my terminology might not be the most diplomatic and the title was meant to grab attention, nothing else.

[Prakanong]

Giving good "Ka", and MBA, PHd or Medical Degree is quite attractive too!

[canadiangirl]

Why do people get so upset when looking beyond the hormones and touchy-feely stuff in a relationship and consider the things that might make or break a relationship? Especially a cross-cultural one. Maybe that is why most marriages end in divorce?

I'm in complete agreement that common sense and pragmatic concerns enter into marriage, but surely there's a middle ground between love at first sight and sounding like you're shopping for a cow or a new fridge?

Edited July 13, 2007 by canadiangirl

[jetjock]

Unless I missed it reading the thread, nowhere did I see 'physical attraction'. It is hard for me to believe that would not be near the top of the list for most guys. Of course many other qualities are just as or more important but IMHO if the 'physical attraction' chemistry quality is missing then the girl is a better candidate for just a friendship rather than romance.

[donna]

agree jetjock. attraction becomes stronger the longer you know someone. the longer you know someone the more attractive they can become if they are a good person. and if they are an idiot, then a traditionally really good looking person can become quite ugly to my in no time.

[chemist]

A marriage that goes wrong can ruin you emotionally and financially yet there seems to be so little forethought on the part of most. OK my terminology might not be the most diplomatic and the title was meant to grab attention, nothing else.

I completely agree that it is important to think things through before getting married. That's where common sense comes into play. BTW, I don't think I was very diplomatic myself when I quoted you in my post above .

Best regards

[Prakanong]

Unless I missed it reading the thread, nowhere did I see 'physical attraction'. It is hard for me to believe that would not be near the top of the list for most guys. Of course many other qualities are just as or more important but IMHO if the 'physical attraction' chemistry quality is missing then the girl is a better candidate for just a friendship rather than romance.

Agree - we are initially attracted to the physical quailities - a person could grow on you if your were around them a lot like a work coleagyue or a member of the same social group etc but many studies have shown it the physical attractiveness forst for the majority of peole.

[ZZZ]

Why do people get so upset when looking beyond the hormones and touchy-feely stuff in a relationship and consider the things that might make or break a relationship? Especially a cross-cultural one. Maybe that is why most marriages end in divorce?

I'm in complete agreement that common sense and pragmatic concerns enter into marriage, but surely there's a middle ground between love at first sight and sounding like you're shopping for a cow or a new fridge?

I think most marriages used to be like shopping for a cow or a new fridge and that's why they used to last longer.

Scientists have said that love lasts for an average of 18 months, after that the relationship normally deteriorates unless you are very lucky and the love has developed to a deep friendship.

If basing the relationship on solid things, like villagefarangs list, the relationship will usually develop love and it's much more likely that this will further develop into a deep friendship that lasts.

[mark henry]

I met my Thai wife through an agency, it was based totally on appearance, you don't get too much time to road test them (or her me) before making any life changing desicion with an agency. But there again all my girl freinds were based on initial appearance, if i don't fancy a woman it's no go. After that it's largely luck as to wether i made the right desicion or not!

Thankfully we've grown to love each other (well most of the time!) but it aint easy being married to some one from such a wildly different culture. I our case we've got age/maturity on our side and the fact we've a son and too much to loose for the relationship not to work out!

No relationship can be based solely on love, you've got to get along too, compromising, negotiating, communicating (the most difficult one in my case, wife just can't do it!), forgiving and just being humble at times.

[canuckamuck]

Attractiveness is a main (not the only) factor that makes you consider a person more seriously.

After that look at the heart first. If they don’t have a good heart, the rest won’t make much difference. (honesty, compassion, responsibility)

After that, compatible beliefs, if you are serious about a religion or a cause you don’t need the antagonism of contrary beliefs in your partnership. It’s a deal breaker, same goes if you’re not serious.

After that, take a good look at yourself and decide if you are going to be able do what it takes to make it work.

The rest is decoration.

BTW your post's title gives a hint as to why you had to wait 20 years.

[Tippaporn]

Unless I missed it reading the thread, nowhere did I see 'physical attraction'. It is hard for me to believe that would not be near the top of the list for most guys. Of course many other qualities are just as or more important but IMHO if the 'physical attraction' chemistry quality is missing then the girl is a better candidate for just a friendship rather than romance.

I agree about the physical attraction . . . in that most people wouldn't consider any other qualities if looks weren't there. What's on the outside isn't anywhere near as important to me as what's on the inside. Also, what's on the inside can be so beautiful that it transforms the outside. On the other hand, as someone else mentioned, some beautiful people are so ugly on the inside that it detracts from their appearance.

I've often wondered, too, about the definition of beauty. Have we been 'brainwashed' as to what is beautiful and what is not to the point where we then cannot see the beauty that does exist if we were to look for it?

[a2396]

Honesty, open to communication and desiring a quality relationship that is not based primarily on money. That is a "tall order" for these local ladies. I have not seen one in 3 years here that fits such a description.

[CarlBkk]

I think it's a good topic. I for one would subconsiously or consciously have basic criteria for choosing a serious girlfriend and obviously a wife. If a girl in question didn't have several of the attributes I look for, how can love develop?

Just a few of the highly desirable points which may combine to form a good partner:

Respectfulness to partner

Calmness

Slim but womanly

Not too dark, not too white

Polite

Not interested in using people for financial gain

Honesty

Desire for a career

Good in bed

Very limited relationship baggage

Experience in life

Travelled outside of Thailand

Traditional values (not inter)

A love of nature, history, culture and living creatures

Good sense of humour

Over 5.4" tall

Fairly well educated

Independance (not fully controlled by parents)