Yearly Appraisal - What The Words Really Mean

1) Outgoing personality - Always going out of the office

2) Great presentation skills - Able to bullshit

3) Good communication skills - Spends a lot of time on the phone

4) Work is first priority - Too ugly to get a date

5) Active socially - Drinks a lot

6) Independent worker - No one knows what you are doing

7) Quick thinking - Gives excuses on the go

8) Careful thinker - Will not make decisions

9) Uses logic on difficult jobs - Gets someone else to do it

10) Expresses themselves well - Speaks English

11) Meticulous attention to detail - A nit-picker

12) Has leadership qualities - Is tall or has a louder voice

13) Exceptionally good judgment - Has been very lucky

14) Keen sense of humor - Knows a lot of dirty jokes

15) Career minded - Back stabber

16) Loyal - Cannot get another job elsewhere

17) Plans for advancement/promotion - Buys drinks for all the boys

18) Of great value to the organization - Gets to work on time

19) Relaxed attitude - Sleeps on the desk