Self Defense

[WaiWai]

unfortunately, he has become fixated on me, and sits all day long outside on the balcony in one spot, staring at my house. whenever i come outside he jumps all over trying to get me to talk to him. it's ok for now, but i worry what that fixation might turn into if he is in his psychotic mode. i bought a ticket to go away in oct-dec, can't get away before then for various reasons, so just have to cross my fingers and hope nothing happens in the meantime.

Really do not know how you can bear this. I think you need to keep other people around you at all times.

[mrtoad]

thanks for that response... i am not really trying to help this guy but i have worked with mentally ill people in the past and understanding that it's not necessarily their fault, would hate to have to resort to violence for any reason other than self defense (which would be bad anyway since this guy is huge for a thai guy). unfortunately, with him living next door and having a history of both not taking his meds and attacking people, then i was hoping that there might be some procedure a mental health professional would follow in dealing with a patient like this. like i said i used to counsel paranoid schizophrenics who forgot their meds over the phone, and a lot of what we would do was just humor them, and patiently try to dissuade them from doing harm to themselves or others. quite a different story when confronted in person though. this guy is on medication and has been in a mental hospital for the past year, but now that he's released and living back in the village i don't believe there is anyone monitoring him. all i can do is suggest he takes his meds regularly and hope for the best. unfortunately, he has become fixated on me, and sits all day long outside on the balcony in one spot, staring at my house. whenever i come outside he jumps all over trying to get me to talk to him. it's ok for now, but i worry what that fixation might turn into if he is in his psychotic mode. i bought a ticket to go away in oct-dec, can't get away before then for various reasons, so just have to cross my fingers and hope nothing happens in the meantime.

I really can't suggest anyhting other than making sure that you rty and not put yourself in a dangerous prediciment. You are in a very difficult situation, and of course if you was in say fro instance the UK there are certainly different options available because of access to MH services, the MHA and other laws which protect citizens. It would certainly seem that a normal procedure for this guy when he is relapsing and not taking his meds would be for him to be detained in a hospital under the MHA, certainly in the UK he would have a CPN. I really can't say too much about here, as I don't really know how the Thai system works and what steps are put in place for a person with a known Psychaitric history once he is discharged from hospital.

What I will say is that regardless of size an aggresive psychtric patient can be a very frightening prospect, and I have seen people who have been over confident with there abilities take a couple of nasty whacks from such people. Don't underestimate and stay aware.

I really can't say how dangerous this person is, but I would suggest for your own peace of mind that you relocate as quickly as possible. You are already talking about his fixation with you, and this may well already be a symptom of his Psychosis, I'd love to be able to give oyu more suggestions, but without knowing the person or his psych history it's almost like taking pot shots in the dark.

Cheers.

Edited August 6, 2007 by mrtoad

[jubby]

Can't you have a word with the Police , preferably 'Tourist Police' they probably understand that Thailand doesn't want or need anymore adverse publicity regards violence towards foreign woman. If you don't want to move , surely you can get a friend of a friend to warn him off, if he's really bothering you, sounds like he needs a good kicking. Its not uncommon for Thai males to try to enter the abode of a lone female, someone tried to have his way with my mother-in-law a few months ago, or so she says. we know who it is but no one wants to believe her as they didn't see it. Thats the Thai way. She's not worried she Keeps a machette under her mattress and knows how to use it. She''ll cut his cock off next time no worries.

No one who's sane in this country would risk commiting such a crime if there's a possiblility of getting caught, the punishment doesn't bare thinkng about.

If there insane then a very loud , deafening personal alarm to start with, one of those electronic stun guns for his nads, illegal but easy to come by, and start carrying a machette around, chop some wood occasionally, send out some 'Don't F... with me' signals . I'm sure your much more intelligent than this sicko, use it to your advantage.

[Dustoff]

Appropriate to this thread, XZYT channel 22 on UBC is running a series called "Mania".

An "imaginative series that takes us inside the mind of the maniac." Actual footage of serously deranged persons giving their own account of what it is like to be unable to control or take responsibility for their thoughts or behavior.

There are accounts of people getting themselves out of extremely confrontational situations by 'humanizing' themselves. A deranged or obsessed attacker doesn't have a thought about who you are or even who he/she is at the time. Even hostages who are being threatened with death are often released because they were able to awaken in their assailant a sense of compassion.

Dunno.. I am certainly not a shrink but you may prepare yourself for this person's blank-out periods by finding out what he likes. Chocolate? His Mom? Learn his close family-member's names? Develop a maternal kind of connection with him? He likely hasn't killed his mother yet.

I have faced down some real crazies in combat and sometimes all it took was a warm smile - no, really - it can be totally (no pun intended) disarming. I have read a few times over the decades that some older people have gotten themselves out of a mugging by saying, "Hey, I think I know you! Yes, I know your mother! Now what would she think of what you are doing?"

If this guy loves chocolate (whatever), keep a few bars around; when they are in a nutso cycle, sometimes all it takes is to even momentarily interrupt that cycle in a way that makes you human again in their mind.

A while back there was this horrific little dog down the street that was a snapping/biting nightmare toward anyone who walked, bicycled, down the block. The little bastard even bit me twice on the ankle and the owner didn't want to hear about it. I actually bought rat poison and some delicious-looking beef then had another thought: I went back to the store and bought some of those bacon-looking/smelling dog treats and dropped one in front of this little prick on my next pass down the street. Not only did he never bark at me again, he fawned at my feet like a grown man at the sight of a woman's teats. And if I caught him harrassing someone else on our street, I rewarded him with a teat, umm, treat when he agreed to leave them alone at my insistence.

We are all little bit nuts, aren't we? I know I am. It takes a long time for our craziness to lock us into madness but only an instant to break it, given the right key to unlock it.

For those other situations, in the street or with armed assailants, perhaps Master Tsai's self-defense tapes is a good place to start and if you don't have a copy, I can provide. Otherwise, whenever faced with someone, anyone, who displays obvious ill-intent, think of yourself as walking with your own child or mother who's life is also threatened. Momma bear or even Momma mouse is going to make sure that the only victim in this situation is the poor aggressive bastard who dared step into her family.

Finally, if you don't want to be a victim, never, EVER think or act like one...

[jubby]

I should have said that in my mother-in-laws case, the guy had convinced himself that he was in with a chance and wouldn't be rejected. Make sure this guy is under no such illusion. get the Tourist police around, point in his general direction and hope he gets the picture.

[lotus eater]

If you hit anyone with pepper spray in the face, they will have trouble breathing, be unable to see and be quite incapacitated. In any event, you should be able to make your escape and that is the goal in any self defense. You should always carry it with you, and they have clip-ons. Keep it on your bedside table. Practice how to use it quickly.

I'm very often away and would like to get my girlfriend one of these. Where or in what sort of shop would I buy one?

[slapout]

We were taught the best defense is a good offense. Go to some one who will help you learn the latter, next choice,Sam Colt and God made all men equal. I am no expert as many claim to be, but have bumbled thru several decades in numerous countries which at the time were considered war zones or at least, advised, no travel zones. But then someone told me once I was lucky, also mentioning God looked after the young and or the mentally deficient. Maybe it was," only the good die young"so look for a good life and stay quick afoot.

[Ulysses G.]

Now for all those gun toting rednecks who believe they are man enough to carry and use a weapon, the course I have just been on is run by the UK government and staffed by ex special forces.

Big deal. Different self-defence instructors have different opinions - like everyone else - and special forces have very little expertise in civilian self-defence and their opinions don't mean more than anyone else.

MY special forces instructor felt that women should have firearms training as it is the ONLY weapon that makes them equal to a much stronger man.

[gburns57au]

13 pages and no one has talked about a whistle.....if faced by an assailant...walk backwards away from him and blow that whistle as hard as you can....and get to a well lit area or populous area.

Mentally ill....hard to talk down as they are erratic at best....sometimes can be unaffected by OC spray. In your situation...

In every situation be aware of your escape points....dont get backed into a corner.

Any weapons can be used against you.... however OC spray can gain valuable time

[mrtoad]

13 pages and no one has talked about a whistle.....if faced by an assailant...walk backwards away from him and blow that whistle as hard as you can....and get to a well lit area or populous area.

Mentally ill....hard to talk down as they are erratic at best....sometimes can be unaffected by OC spray. In your situation...

In every situation be aware of your escape points....dont get backed into a corner.

Any weapons can be used against you.... however OC spray can gain valuable time

Agreed, too many people suggesting heroic actions or advocating the use of weapons etc. Best thing get the hel_l out of it.

You are also correct about some mentally ill patients being unaffected or at least still very active after being sprayed - use and run.

[gburns57au]

13 pages and no one has talked about a whistle.....if faced by an assailant...walk backwards away from him and blow that whistle as hard as you can....and get to a well lit area or populous area.

Mentally ill....hard to talk down as they are erratic at best....sometimes can be unaffected by OC spray. In your situation...

In every situation be aware of your escape points....dont get backed into a corner.

Any weapons can be used against you.... however OC spray can gain valuable time

Agreed, too many people suggesting heroic actions or advocating the use of weapons etc. Best thing get the hel_l out of it.

You are also correct about some mentally ill patients being unaffected or at least still very active after being sprayed - use and run.

Interesting to note Mr Toad you have had prison training...I am a current PO....just finished a shift of three days...12 hour shift and 2 hours travel time.

I deal with situations everyday that the average Joe cant relate to....when do you use force to control a situation....the answer is....when no other option remains. What is use of force?... the last resort.

You may not be able to talk a situation down....But,....you can buy time to get the OC or whistle out

[mrtoad]

13 pages and no one has talked about a whistle.....if faced by an assailant...walk backwards away from him and blow that whistle as hard as you can....and get to a well lit area or populous area.

Mentally ill....hard to talk down as they are erratic at best....sometimes can be unaffected by OC spray. In your situation...

In every situation be aware of your escape points....dont get backed into a corner.

Any weapons can be used against you.... however OC spray can gain valuable time

Agreed, too many people suggesting heroic actions or advocating the use of weapons etc. Best thing get the hel_l out of it.

You are also correct about some mentally ill patients being unaffected or at least still very active after being sprayed - use and run.

Interesting to note Mr Toad you have had prison training...I am a current PO....just finished a shift of three days...12 hour shift and 2 hours travel time.

I deal with situations everyday that the average Joe cant relate to....when do you use force to control a situation....the answer is....when no other option remains. What is use of force?... the last resort.

You may not be able to talk a situation down....But,....you can buy time to get the OC or whistle out

Yeah, the good old whistle is still going strong in the UK as well.

I don't miss those long old shifts though!!!

I agree, as well, force is the last resort and there is no cowardice in getting out of a situation that you can't handle on your own. And in respect of situations that average Joe can;t relate too, think that is why people in our lines of work tend to have a pretty dark kind of humour which often can only be appreciated by people who have worked in those environments.

BTW, what type of prison are you in? I had a secondment from the NHS and did my PO training as well, great fun at times and other times totally frustrating.

[girlx]

what the heck does a whistle do?

[Dustoff]

what the heck does a whistle do?

Teaches us to purse our lips for what may be coming...?

Aarrgghh! I can't believe I just said that...

[jetjock]

what the heck does a whistle do?

Lyrics from the Musical "The King and I" Warning: Do not use this technique in Thailand as this musical is banned there ! (TRUE)

Whenever I feel afraid

I hold my head erect

And whistle a happy tune

So no one will suspect

I'm Afraid.

While shivering in my shoes

I strike a careless pose

And whistle a happy tune

And no one ever knows I'm afraid.

The result of this deception

Is very strange to tell

For when I fool the people I fear

I fool myself as well!

I whistle a happy tune

And ev'ry single time

The happiness in the tune

Convinces me that I'm not afraid.

Make believe you're brave

And the trick will take you far.

You may be as brave

As you make believe you are

[Dustoff]

Bad, BAD Dustoff!

[Dustoff]

what the heck does a whistle do?

Lyrics from the Musical "The King and I" Warning: Do not use this technique in Thailand as this musical is banned there ! (TRUE)

Whenever I feel afraid

I hold my head erect

And whistle a happy tune

So no one will suspect

I'm Afraid.

While shivering in my shoes

I strike a careless pose

And whistle a happy tune

And no one ever knows I'm afraid.

The result of this deception

Is very strange to tell

For when I fool the people I fear

I fool myself as well!

I whistle a happy tune

And ev'ry single time

The happiness in the tune

Convinces me that I'm not afraid.

Make believe you're brave

And the trick will take you far.

You may be as brave

As you make believe you are

An excellent post!

Our own fears, and those who exploit them, are our most formidable enemies..

[gburns57au]

what the heck does a whistle do?

Makes a bloody loud noise....something that most assailants or miscreants dont want as it attracts attention.

[Ulysses G.]

what the heck does a whistle do?

Teaches us to purse our lips for what may be coming...?

The plain truth.

[chinthee]

what the heck does a whistle do?

Teaches us to purse our lips for what may be coming...?

The plain truth.

If anyone heard a whistle in Thailand, they would just assume it's another parking attendant directing someone. Can't imagine Thais bursting out their front doors a runnin to help a damsel in distress over that!

[canadiangirl]

If anyone heard a whistle in Thailand, they would just assume it's another parking attendant directing someone. Can't imagine Thais bursting out their front doors a runnin to help a damsel in distress over that!

Yeah, I don't get the whistle thing. It's one thing for prison guards or psychiatric nurses to use them at work, where their colleagues will recognize it as a signal for help, but in an isolated area? Carrying a whistle wouldn't make me feel any safer.

[gburns57au]

If anyone heard a whistle in Thailand, they would just assume it's another parking attendant directing someone. Can't imagine Thais bursting out their front doors a runnin to help a damsel in distress over that!

Yeah, I don't get the whistle thing. It's one thing for prison guards or psychiatric nurses to use them at work, where their colleagues will recognize it as a signal for help, but in an isolated area? Carrying a whistle wouldn't make me feel any safer.

Errrm...we have personal duress systems nowadays....

The point of the whistle is twofold...it can alert others....and it creates apprehension in the attacker, He will think that someone will answer it.

as against an OC spray....if you get it wrong, you wont get a second chance.

[chinthee]

If anyone heard a whistle in Thailand, they would just assume it's another parking attendant directing someone. Can't imagine Thais bursting out their front doors a runnin to help a damsel in distress over that!

Yeah, I don't get the whistle thing. It's one thing for prison guards or psychiatric nurses to use them at work, where their colleagues will recognize it as a signal for help, but in an isolated area? Carrying a whistle wouldn't make me feel any safer.

Errrm...we have personal duress systems nowadays....

The point of the whistle is twofold...it can alert others....and it creates apprehension in the attacker, He will think that someone will answer it.

as against an OC spray....if you get it wrong, you wont get a second chance.

Ok, a serious response. Yes, the idea of a whistle is good and I do have a solution. Again, I haven't seen it in Thailand, but I bought some in the US some years ago, and strapped them onto my bike handlebars. They are highly compressed small canisters that emit a loud brain-piercing screech. I used them as a "bell" on my bicycle to alert cars backing out of driveways etc.. I suppose something as unexpected as that might work. Again, you have to find them overseas, not in Thailand.

[gburns57au]

If anyone heard a whistle in Thailand, they would just assume it's another parking attendant directing someone. Can't imagine Thais bursting out their front doors a runnin to help a damsel in distress over that!

Yeah, I don't get the whistle thing. It's one thing for prison guards or psychiatric nurses to use them at work, where their colleagues will recognize it as a signal for help, but in an isolated area? Carrying a whistle wouldn't make me feel any safer.

Errrm...we have personal duress systems nowadays....

The point of the whistle is twofold...it can alert others....and it creates apprehension in the attacker, He will think that someone will answer it.

as against an OC spray....if you get it wrong, you wont get a second chance.

Ok, a serious response. Yes, the idea of a whistle is good and I do have a solution. Again, I haven't seen it in Thailand, but I bought some in the US some years ago, and strapped them onto my bike handlebars. They are highly compressed small canisters that emit a loud brain-piercing screech. I used them as a "bell" on my bicycle to alert cars backing out of driveways etc.. I suppose something as unexpected as that might work. Again, you have to find them overseas, not in Thailand.

Anything that creates a loud continuous and noise is good. Thats why house alarms mostly work

[meemiathai]

If anyone heard a whistle in Thailand, they would just assume it's another parking attendant directing someone. Can't imagine Thais bursting out their front doors a runnin to help a damsel in distress over that!

Yeah, I don't get the whistle thing. It's one thing for prison guards or psychiatric nurses to use them at work, where their colleagues will recognize it as a signal for help, but in an isolated area? Carrying a whistle wouldn't make me feel any safer.

Errrm...we have personal duress systems nowadays....

The point of the whistle is twofold...it can alert others....and it creates apprehension in the attacker, He will think that someone will answer it.

as against an OC spray....if you get it wrong, you wont get a second chance.

Ok, a serious response. Yes, the idea of a whistle is good and I do have a solution. Again, I haven't seen it in Thailand, but I bought some in the US some years ago, and strapped them onto my bike handlebars. They are highly compressed small canisters that emit a loud brain-piercing screech. I used them as a "bell" on my bicycle to alert cars backing out of driveways etc.. I suppose something as unexpected as that might work. Again, you have to find them overseas, not in Thailand.

Yes, I don't know what they are called in English. Those things are like key rings with a teddy bear attached to it. Once you pull the thing off it creates a very sharp and loud sound almost deafening your ears. I think buying dozens of them hanging them everywhere in the house could be a good idea. Also get some pepper sprays.

Guns and machetes I don't think is a good idea. One has to be very familiar of how to use them and be really determined to use them when shit happens. Remember, when shit happens you have no time to decide if you are going to kill or not. So it might happen that you either use to much time to think and lose control to the attacker or you are too quick to kill and found out you have made a mistake and killed someone.

Are surveillance cameras around the house an option to deter anyone attempting to work on a place?

[old wanderer]

Well a lot of advise for the OP to sort through. However I might add one thing that others have not;

I used to instruct marshal arts in Korea Town Los Angeles, I had a number of hookers as students that wanted to learn how to defend themselves without carrying a weapon that they might get arrested for. Some got to be technically pretty good, but almost uniformly they fell apart when you let it all hang out and went full contact.

I would try and prepare them for what it feels like, and to put the pain aside, but many could not overcome the shock to their body, and just tried to retreat. The 30% that were able to pass my final exam, I am sure were not very nice people to mess around with in a dark alley. They simply did not care what they did too you after they were attacked. I know I sure earned my pay with the marks they put on my body. One girl showed up after class one day, and planted a big kiss on me, saying thank you so much....She was on cloud 9...Seems like the night before someone pulled a knife on her, she took it away, broke a knee cap, jaw, and after cutting all his cloths off him, and his achiles tendons, ground his scrotum into the hotel carpet. Now she wanted more lessons.....I declined....

My suggestion is to find a few moves that work for you, and practice with someone that has instructed. You might try a hundred different moves or styles, but 2 or 3 will really click. Perfect those. Then raise it up and go full on full contact for 30 seconds. Yes it will hurt, and you might have a few parts that remind you for a few days of that 30 seconds, but if you can get through it the 1st time, later when it happens your body knows you can prevail and win. All this presumes you are in reasonably good shape naturally.

Winning is way better than loosing.