Hello :)

[Rionoir]

Just wanted to stop by and say HI, this looks like a great community and just what I was looking for!

I have been together with my Thai BF for the last year, living in the US. He just finished his master's degree a few months ago, and his family visited after that... ever since he's been very homesick, and says he hates it in the US. We have talked about moving together to Thailand someday, but it looks like we won't be able to be together anymore if I don't step up and move those plans along. We've had some other problems along the way, mostly language things and misunderstandings, but I think they have really worn him down too, adding to his desire to go home. We are very different in the way we handle our arguments, and I think that some of them have really stayed with him more than they do with me.

Anyway, I'm not considering the move only because of this relationship... I just turned 30, and I've wanted to go finish a degree in a foreign country and teach english. I can't stand the corporate rat race here in the US... even though I own my own business, I'm not driven to work 70 hours a week to make millions of dollars or anything... I make what I need to get by and I'm fine with that. I'm also very high anxiety... I have lived in the same area for my whole life, and I think I have developed some bad habbits because of it... I just feel stuck in the biggest rut and it's getting deeper and deeper every day.

I'd love to work things out with my BF, but I'm not sure that will happen... so hopefully I am strong enough to move on and still do the move by myself. I'm pretty excited about it... my biggest fear believe it or not is THE FLIGHT over there... OMG flying over water makes me uncomfortable just thinking about it... lol

Ok well just wanted to get that off my chest, and like I said say HI. Maybe see some of you near Bangkok soon.

Rion

[johnnymoretti]

Welcome to the forum. I never let anyone stand in the way of my dreams. And as far as the flight, consider Xanex. It works wonders. I, too, have a fear of flying. It works. Get it.

[Rionoir]

Welcome to the forum. I never let anyone stand in the way of my dreams. And as far as the flight, consider Xanex. It works wonders. I, too, have a fear of flying. It works. Get it.

haha thanks for that! I have been on xanax before for other reasons... love that stuff. Do doctors give it out pretty easily if you are flying?

[ProThaiExpat]

Dear Rionoir:

I would appreciate very much hearing from you as to what it is about America that your Thai b/f doesn't like. Mine has a cinema fantasy about America and never stops dreaming about going there to work and live.

The more reality I can introduce into his thinking can only be good. PM me if you don't want to go public with detailed reasons why a graduate student in the U.S. doesn't like America. I assume he doesn't work while just attending classes.

[Rionoir]

It's really a culture thing for him, and also partly homesickness. Especially now, since he is on his OPT, he can't even leave the country... and he loves to travel. So not being able to go anywhere, visit home, take a cruise, nothing... it's driving him crazy. But back to the culture bit... I am the first real American bf he had while he was here working on his degree. To him, most americans are focused primarily on themselves and their careers, making money, and just generally not like a stereotypical thai person. The way friends even treat each other in the US is different than I see my Thai friends treating each other.

He has plenty of friends who have come here either because they like dating white boys or because they fall in love with how easy it is to make money. He has a couple of friends who even do nothing but work in a restaurant, and they are making so much money they have just decided to stay here for a while and save up some easy cash.

There are other friends though who are like my bf... just feel like the culture is too different and miss home. Plus, it's next to impossible to stay in the US legally right now for them. In order to get a job they basically have to find a job that no other qualified american applies for. Since several of them majored in marketing, there is little or no chance of them finding the type of work that they want.

I myself can see where my bf is coming from... I never have felt like I fit in with the US culture. Which is weird since I've lived here my whole life. All my asian friends tell me that I am an asian in white skin, and it's how I've always felt... I have an unusual bond with asian culture for someone who grew up in a relatively small town and had no asian friends growing up. Anyone else feel that way before you moved?

[farang prince]

Welcome to the forum. I never let anyone stand in the way of my dreams. And as far as the flight, consider Xanex. It works wonders. I, too, have a fear of flying. It works. Get it.

haha thanks for that! I have been on xanax before for other reasons... love that stuff. Do doctors give it out pretty easily if you are flying?

Rionoir, I fly all the time. The best thing I did was get earplugs and eyeshades. I pop a sleeping pill about an hour into the flight, settle in with a book and in about an hour I'm ready for sleep. Flying over water never becomes an issue because you are at 30,000 feet and you can't see much anyway. It also helps to get adjusted to Thai time before flying to LOS. And stay off the booze at the airport and in flight. By the time you arrive, you should be well-rested and ready for fun with your b/f.

Incidentally, welcome to TV. I wish you well with your relationship. They are never easy, but they can be magical in the long run.

[Rionoir]

Rionoir, I fly all the time. The best thing I did was get earplugs and eyeshades. I pop a sleeping pill about an hour into the flight, settle in with a book and in about an hour I'm ready for sleep. Flying over water never becomes an issue because you are at 30,000 feet and you can't see much anyway. It also helps to get adjusted to Thai time before flying to LOS. And stay off the booze at the airport and in flight. By the time you arrive, you should be well-rested and ready for fun with your b/f.

Incidentally, welcome to TV. I wish you well with your relationship. They are never easy, but they can be magical in the long run.

I'm starting to think Xanax sounds like a good idea... I found a really good course online too that is available as an MP3 download that I think would help me too... it explained all the little things I am afraid of, like backup systems and all that junk. LoL I know, I'm such a chicken. ha My bf just says, "when it's my time, it's my time"

And thanks for the well wishes... this is the biggest thing I've ever done with my life, so I guess that kind of sums up how I feel about my bf. I've had hard breakups before, but I never even considered moving for someone... much less to a new country. Of course, it helps that I'm moving somewhere like Thailand... lol I figure if the worst happens and we break up, there could be worse places to be alone!

[funfun]

my biggest fear believe it or not is THE FLIGHT over there... OMG flying over water makes me uncomfortable just thinking about it... lol

Rion

they give you a life vest!

.

[noctiluca]

Welcome to this board, Rionoir!

Anyway, I hope for the best that everything works out for you and your boyfriend here in LOS.

It may not be easy moving to another place, much less another country with entirely different culture and language. Your new life will surely be different but it could also be fun and bliss (especially with your bf). Just be patient and try to be open-minded, but keep your common sense and intuition. Much of it will be adjusting your attitude towards life here.

I assume that you will be in Bangkok first, at least in the beginning anyway. Just remember BKK is not Thailand and vice versa. There is much to see and learn about this country, if you are willing.

Best of luck!

[Tyke]

Just wanted to stop by and say HI, this looks like a great community and just what I was looking for!

I have been together with my Thai BF for the last year, living in the US. He just finished his master's degree a few months ago, and his family visited after that... ever since he's been very homesick, and says he hates it in the US. We have talked about moving together to Thailand someday, but it looks like we won't be able to be together anymore if I don't step up and move those plans along. We've had some other problems along the way, mostly language things and misunderstandings, but I think they have really worn him down too, adding to his desire to go home. We are very different in the way we handle our arguments, and I think that some of them have really stayed with him more than they do with me.

Anyway, I'm not considering the move only because of this relationship... I just turned 30, and I've wanted to go finish a degree in a foreign country and teach english. I can't stand the corporate rat race here in the US... even though I own my own business, I'm not driven to work 70 hours a week to make millions of dollars or anything... I make what I need to get by and I'm fine with that. I'm also very high anxiety... I have lived in the same area for my whole life, and I think I have developed some bad habbits because of it... I just feel stuck in the biggest rut and it's getting deeper and deeper every day.

I'd love to work things out with my BF, but I'm not sure that will happen... so hopefully I am strong enough to move on and still do the move by myself. I'm pretty excited about it... my biggest fear believe it or not is THE FLIGHT over there... OMG flying over water makes me uncomfortable just thinking about it... lol

Ok well just wanted to get that off my chest, and like I said say HI. Maybe see some of you near Bangkok soon.

Rion

Rion,

Keep in mind that when u and your bf are living in Thailand, things may well change as things may be reversed, eg. your bf may miss so many farangs around and get closer to you, but there are also other issues like you are likely to fall into 3rd place in his priorities to his family and job. The question of relative wealth may also play a part and who pays the bills etc. Finance and local temptations are the usual reason for Thai/farang relationships breaking up and these always change when you make a move with a bf..

[Rionoir]

Rion,

Keep in mind that when u and your bf are living in Thailand, things may well change as things may be reversed, eg. your bf may miss so many farangs around and get closer to you, but there are also other issues like you are likely to fall into 3rd place in his priorities to his family and job. The question of relative wealth may also play a part and who pays the bills etc. Finance and local temptations are the usual reason for Thai/farang relationships breaking up and these always change when you make a move with a bf..

Thanks for the reply. I fully know I am going to be second to his family, I already am... lol He isn't a workaholic, he's actually told me already he's afraid of having too much responsibility with a job right now, but he does work hard at the jobs he's given, which is fine because I plan on travelling a lot for the work I am going to do as well. We aren't really the type of couple that overdoes our affections 24-7... we are pretty realistic about things with our relationship... hopefully that doesn't change. We currently live 2 hours apart and have since we met... so we aren't used to spending all our time together. Again, that's a good thing to me. We aren't going to live together right away after the move either... lol... can you see we're being pretty careful. I'll have my bills and he will live with his family and the maid heh... *jealous*

We've kind of talked about the culture shock it will be with our majority/minority type roles being reversed... I've never been to a bar where the majority of guys were cute asian boys... lol He knows I'm kind of excited... he's gonna take me to the go-go bars and all that... but really, I'm too scared of disease to screw around when I get there, and seems fine with me looking but not touching... so hopefully that is how it works out.

PS - I don't think he is going to miss having so many americans around... he never really liked many of them to begin with. lol He wasn't the type of Thai that was in the US to find a white boy, in fact he never really wanted to... it just worked out that way. If anything, I'd worry more about him when we go back having all the Thai boys around again...

anyway thanks again